Chapter 2
Rainbow Dash moved her head up and down, nodding as she stood on a cloud looking down over Ponyville. The wind was right, the altitude was lower than ever. The new super low Buccaneer Blitz was ready for testing! A large grin formed on her face as she lowered her head as her front legs bent a bit. Her rear moved up, the multi-colored tail switching back and forth as she prepared for take off. Just one final check to make sure no other pegasi in the air, and the ground was clear.
“This is going to be so awe-”
She stopped herself, spotting a rather large being. Her head moved to peer over the edge of the cloud and squint her eyes. Oh no! Not another one? Rainbow Dash shook her head to the sides, trying to keep herself from panicking. Anything but a human. Not now! It seems because of her loneliness, she was willing to get attention from anypony that would give it to her. Even if it was poor, lonely, unathletic guys. She opened her eyes to study the guy again. But the worst of them? “Please, please, let it not be a-”
She stopped herself. Her mouth opened slowly, her eyes opening at the sight. He was wearing a red checkered flannel shirt, jeans, and camping equipment. The pegasus cringed, lowering her body to the cloud. It was a total Bro. One of those that was apparently her type. Outdoorsy and confident, one that wouldn’t back down from a challenge. And dear Celestia, if they called her ‘Rainbro’ she would lose it and go head over heels. She released a sigh.
“May as well get this over with,” Rainbow said as she stood up again and jumped off the cloud. Well, at least she would get a friend to watch her stunts and- What the? Her wings flapped a bit to let her hover as she watched him walk inside City Hall. Huh? An outdoorsy type going to City Hall? Both magenta eyes blinked rapidly, trying to understand what was going on. It made no sense. No human went to City Hall! Egg heady or not!
“Rainbow Dash?”
“Huh? Oh, Twilight!” The Loyal pony turned to look down at her friend and flew down to join her. “What’s up?”
“Did you see the new human walk by?” Twilight asked, smiling at her friend.
“Uh, yeah he went inside City Hall. Is he a danger to Equestria? Or did you fall in love again?” Rainbow said with a grin. Teasing Twilight was fun sometimes, and if the unicorn was here- hopefully the human was claimed by her. Unless this human was into harems. The cyan pony folded her wings in as she started walking to City Hall.
“Neither Rainbow Dash,” Twilight frowned a bit, moving to join the pegasus. “I went to check with Applejack and Rarity. And get this,” Twilight furrowed her brows in confusion. “He totally ignored them! Didn’t even ask where any of our friends were. Didn’t even ask to speak to our princesses!”
“No fooling?” Rainbow’s eyes shut open, coming to a stop close to City Hall. “Did he get amnesia or something?”
“That’s the thing that has me confused,” Twilight came to a stop next to her friend. “He did ask for City Hall, and you confirmed he went in.”
“Weird.”
“The only guesses I could come up with is that he went to either suck up to the Mayor to get a free house- Or he is going to kidnap her or use her as a hostage.”
“But,” Rainbow frowned a second. “He had camping gear on.”
“And while he did ignore the ponies, he was polite with Applejack,” Twilight said, turning her head to look at the building.
“You wanna barge in there and throw it out of proportion like you usually do? Or do the sensible thing and wait it out and see for once?” Rainbow asked as her eyes relaxed.
“I do not-” Twilight frowned for a second, but then she stopped herself. Did she just barge in everywhere when something was important? Well, there was Shining’s wedding... “Honestly? I’m confused. If this was just another human in Equestria, I’d know how to handle things.”
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Chuck Norris looked around the front entrance of City Hall. He wasn’t sure what to expect, the intel he had seen from the show never actually revealed what City Hall looked from the inside. Other than the pavilion, then again that wasn’t important. The walls were painted yellow, and there was fancy looking stone tiles on the floor. He had expected carpeting, but when your city residents have dirt on their hooves, carpeting may not be efficient.Taking off the camping gear from his back, Chuck set it down to stretch.out and prepared mentally to meet the Mayor.
“Mr. Norris?”
That was the voice from pony from the window. He turned to look over at Time Turner and lowered his arms to smile. “Oh hello. I don’t believe I caught your name.”
“Do excuse me. I’m Time Turner. I’m the Mayor’s timekeeper.” The brown earth stallion smiled a bit, nodding his head in greetings. Although this human didn’t look like a high socialite type, he did have some manners. “You wished to see Mayor Mare about a job?”
“Yes indeed,” Norris replied as he walked over to the pony. Height-wise, it looked as though the male ponies reached about a little bit over his waist- whilst the females reached him waist wise. “Forgive me for asking, but are you the one I should be asking about the appointment? It seems rude, since you are not a receptionist or secretary.”
“I don’t mind sir. I do work as an aide to the mayor. Timekeeping sometimes means I make sure she stays on schedule,” Turner chuckled. Such care over station this human had. “Her Honor has not many appointments today. The receptionist has just had her foal not too long ago, so the Mayor tries not to overstress herself on these days.”
“I see. Should I?” Chuck Norris moved a hand to the door, wondering if he should go look for his camping spot.
“Oh no, it will be quite alright Mr. Norris. With her schedule clear, she could do something to earn her bits for the day.” Turner turned around, leading the way to the main office. “Who am I to stop Chuck Norris from seeing The Mayor?”
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Mayor Mare looked at herself in a hoof mirror. Great! Not a sight of pink hair, and her glasses had been cleaned. In all of her past instances with aliens, only one or two humans actually bothered to speak to her. If this human had a glasses fetish, well- It was about time she got a human lover. The sound of a turning knob made her lift her eyebrows. She set the mirror away in a drawer and smiled. “Come in,” Mayor called out in the most pleasant voice she could. The white door opened to let Turner and Norris in.
“Let me introduce Mr. Chuck Norris,” Timer Turner called out. Having left his gear and jacket behind, the human walked in and looked around. The office was larger than expected, though Chuck wondered if that was because the Mayor sometimes had Princess White in here. Her Honor was sitting behind a mahogany desk, with a few art portraits hung along the wall. Odd, this room had red carpeting and a few shelves with books around the walls.
“Mahogany...” Chuck Norris said under his breath. He liked to say the word mahogany.
“Greetings Mr. Norris. Please, have a...” The Mayor stopped herself. There was only one chair in the office. Since most of her visitors were ponies, there was no chairs. She only had a royal pillow that was saved for the rare occasions royalty showed up. “Do pardon. We do not have a chair for you. But rest assured, the floor is clean. Feel free to sit on the ground. I hope you understand.” A small blush crept upon her cheeks. As a dignitary, she would have to fix that.
“It’s alright. I understand. I guess since the town gets destroyed a lot, you gotta save money somewhere,” Chuck said, walking to the center of the room. For the Mayor’s credit, the carpet was clean.
“Oh? So you know about the town?” Mare lost her sense of embarrassment and turned to look at Turner. The stallion had walked over to the side and took a pencil in his mouth. For now, it would be up to him to take notes. Now, they knew this human wasn’t amnesiatic, and he had knowledge of their lives.
“Well, it would be silly to come to a new land without some knowledge,” Chuck smiled, moving each hand to rest on his hips. “I know the value of bits, weather is controlled, and some of the town history.”
“Really?” The Mayor raised her eyebrows in surprise. The next line of questioning would be critical. She did not need another rabid fan-human with weird powers or some weird destiny to fulfill. Sometimes, Princess Celestia had a weird sense of humor. Turner picked up his head, eyes closed a bit at the revelation of the human. “If you know so much, may I ask why you came to me and not Twilight Sparkle?”
“Twilight Twilight Twilight,” Chuck said over and over, as if to think back about that name. “She’s the Element of Magic I think. Something to do with Princess Celestia,” He crossed both arms on his chest to look to the ground a bit. “Well, because it was the logical thing to do, really.”
“Logical?” Mayor nodded once to Turner, making sure he was taking notes. “Could you elaborate?”
“Well. You are the Mayor of town. Your Honor, I am an illegal immigrant and a trespasser in this land. First and foremost, I came to turn myself in.” Chuck turned to look at Turner and smiled. “Am I right? I just want to make sure my intentions are known to the legal authority of the land. I mean, it seems rude to go over the Mayor’s head and speak straight to Celestia, right?”
Turner picked up his head, looking over at Chuck Norris. He looked left and right a second, wondering why the human was addressing him. Then again, the human was telling the truth.
“I see. Well, Princess Celestia did set up a protocol that was to go through. Though it looks like I wasn’t included in these plans and these instances deferred all power to Twilight...” ‘Mare added that last statement under her breath. She smiled though, glad that at least one human was giving her position the proper respect it was due. “Tell me, do you know of the other Elements of Harmony?”
“I do. But not of the ponies...” Chuck lowered his head and chuckled. “You see, a friend of mine made the list of relevant info. But he said I should learn more about ponies for myself. But I have no intention of getting into a relationship with the Elements of Harmony-” The outdoorsman stopped, lifting his eyebrows to look over at Turner. The pony's mouth had opened, and he dropped his writing utensil to the ground. Right eyebrow raised, Chuck turned to look over at the Mayor. Her glasses had slid down her muzzle as her own mouth was open in shock. A human that did not want to bang or romance a pony? Outrageous! Unheard of!
“Nicolas Cage warned me there’d be days like this...” Chuck Norris muttered under his breath. “Thanks Obama.”