//------------------------------// // III: Crazy Little Thing Called Love // Story: Adorkable Love // by Einhander //------------------------------// Adorkable Love By: Einhander Chapter 3: Crazy Little Thing Called Love Edited by: TheLastBrunnenG Scootaloo was sitting outside the schoolhouse, staring through one of the side windows. She could see her reflection in the glass, which was of a glum little filly staring back at her. She was sad because of the ponies behind the window: Silver Spoon and her parents, Diamond Tiara and her mother, and her teacher, Miss Cheerilee. The bell had rung at least half an hour ago, but Scootaloo stayed behind for Miss Cheerilee. After her teacher restored order, she had sent for the parents of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the ringleaders of the coup that had brought total pandemonium to the schoolhouse. Silver Spoon's parents came immediately, followed by Diamond Tiara's mother, Mrs. Rich. Diamond Tiara’s father, Filthy Rich, was notably absent. Scootaloo couldn’t hear what anypony was saying, nor could she see the expression on Miss Cheerilee’s face. But based on the exaggerated expressions and hoofwaving of the parents, the triumphant smirk Diamond Tiara couldn’t even try to hide and the goofy smile Silver Spoon had on her stupid face, Scootaloo was able to piece it together. Even though Diamond Tiara was clearly in the wrong wrong, somehow Miss Cheerilee was the one getting in trouble. It wasn’t fair. The little orange Pegasus traced her hoof along the ground, looking down and then looking up at the window, hoping that soon it would be over. But every time Ms. Cheerilee would shake her head or gesture, the parents would get agitated all over again. It made Scootaloo sad at first, but as the tongue-lashing went on, it started to make her angry. Very, very angry. It was one thing for a little pony to not get in trouble for something they did wrong, but for the teacher to get in trouble? For something one of her students did? It. Wasn’t. Fair! She was so busy stewing, she didn’t notice Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle approaching with bags of baking materials. “Hey, Scootaloo!” said Apple Bloom. “Aren’t you coming to Sugarcube corner?” “Yeah,” said Sweetie Belle, “We’re going to try to get our cutie marks in flourless baking!” “Remind me again, why flourless baking?” asked Apple Bloom. Scootaloo muttered under her breath, “It’s not fair…" “Because any pony can get their cutie mark in baking! We want to stand out.” “I thought it was because we already tried regular baking and we got the flour everywhere and the muffins tasted awful.” “It’s not fair!” shouted Scootaloo. Both the other ponies backed up a step. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t awful, but Rarity doesn’t get that sick that often-“ “Not the baking. Or our cutie marks,” Scootaloo sighed. “What’s wrong, Scootaloo?” “Remember earlier today, when Diamond Tiara declared her ‘marital law’, and proclaimed herself Queen of the Class?” Sweetie Bloom snorted, “She wasn’t so high and mighty when Silver Spoon declared herself the Princess of the Class and they started throwing their lunches at each other.” Apple Bloom laughed, “Yeah and when Tiara spilled her milk all over the floor and they started slapping each other? And Silver Spoon slipped on the spilled milk and started crying? That was great.” “Yeah, but just look at what’s happening to Miss Cheerilee!” said Scootaloo, pointing towards the window. The other two fillies followed her hoof, and saw: their teacher being raked over the coals by the three parents, and their nemeses grinning like little sharks. “What are they yelling at her for?” asked Apple Bloom. “Because Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon took over the class, and got in a fight, and their clothes are messed up.” “… Right, but why are they yelling at our teacher? It’s their fault,” said Sweetie Belle. “Focus, Crusaders!” said Scootaloo. “Look, we all know the drill: you act up, your teacher finds out, you get in trouble. 1-2-3. But those fillies aren’t getting in, like, ANY trouble, and instead Miss Cheerilee is! How is that fair??” “No argument here,” replied Sweetie Belle. “Yeah, that stinks,” said Apple Bloom. “What stinks, girls?” asked a fourth voice. They all turned and looked up, to see none other than Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara’s father. There was a silence, which Sweetie Belle finally filled by blurting out, “The Equestrian justice system!” It was hard to tell who was more surprised: Mr. Rich, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, or Sweetie Belle herself. “Really?” asked Mr. Rich, with an arched eyebrow. “Er…. Yes?” said Sweetie Belle, looking at her friends for backup. “Your teacher taught you about the Equestrian justice system today?” His eyebrow was somehow even more arched. “Er…. No….” muttered Sweetie Belle, who was sinking fast. “Her sister, Rarity, told us about it!” said Apple Bloom, with a big grin on her face. “Yeah, she was telling us all about this trial up in Canterlot, of… Discord, for all that stuff he did in Ponyville awhile back, and how long it took to bring him to justice, with all the appeals and everything, and how it was… uh…” “Uncouth!” yelled Scootaloo. “Yeah. Way uncouth.” “And so… it stinks,” said Sweetie Belle, completing the narrative. Filthy Rich stared at the three little ponies for what seemed like forever, and then laughed heartily. “What a bunch of well-read girls you are!” he cried. “I can see why you and my daughter are such good friends.” It was fortunate for all concerned that he looked away the moment after he spoke. Had he kept looking at the little fillies, he would have seen expressions of shock, disgust and horror. However, he was instead looking around the front of the schoolhouse. “Speaking of my daughter, have you girls seen her? When I got home there was a note to come to the school, but I can’t find her mother.” “They’re both in the classroom, Mr. Filthy.” Mr. Rich closed his eyes and his smile bent into a grimace, and he said slowly, “Please.. it’s just Mr. Rich.” “Sorry, Mr. Rich. They’re in there with our teacher.” He then opened his eyes and his smile returned. “Thank you for your help, girls.” He walked inside the school, and as he opened the door the shrill voices of Silver Spoon’s parents carried out into the air, “And you call this dump a SCHOOL!?” “What’s this all about?” asked Mr. Rich as the door closed. After Mr. Rich entered, it was all over very quickly. The three fillies still couldn’t hear, but they gathered that whatever the other parents had to say, it didn’t impress Mr. Rich very much. He rolled his eyes, shook his head and looked at his own daughter sternly and said a few choice words. Tiara rolled her eyes and walked over to Miss Cheerilee and gave a big fake smile and said a few words, and then Silver Spoon did the same, although without the smile. Then Mr. Rich began motioning for everyone to leave. Silver Spoon’ parents came out first, both with grim expressions. Silver Spoon followed behind, who gasped when she saw the Crusaders staring at her. She closed her eyes and stuck her nose in the air, and tried to pretend like she didn’t see them. That meant she got about ten feet before walking straight into a tree, yelping and running after her parents. “Ha!” snorted Apple Bloom, but Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo weren’t laughing because out next came Mr. and Mrs. Rich. “I just can’t believe you made her apologize, Filthy! Really!” said Mrs. Rich. “She proclaimed herself Queen of the Class and made a mess of things, dear,” said Mr. Rich. “Because her teacher was off Celestia knows where!” said Mrs. Rich. “Then she should have known better even if the teacher didn’t,” said Filthy Rich as he shook his head, “I think we spoil her sometimes.” “If granting my little darling everything she’s ever wanted is spoiling, then I plead guilty!” shrilled Mrs. Rich, who then turned her head back and cooed in a sickly sweet tone, “Tiara, darling? Let’s go home. I’ll make you a sundae.” Diamond Tiara emerged, her face twitching with emotion: most likely happy about the sundae, furious that her father didn’t back her up. She walked at a steady pace, purposely ignoring the crusaders. “Say goodbye to your friends, dear,” said Mr. Rich. Diamond Tiara stopped in her tracks, and turned very slowly to face the crusaders. Sweetie Belle shrank back, Apple Bloom stood still, but Scootaloo stepped forward. “See you Monday, friend,” she said in a very level tone of voice, but her eyes filled with menace. Diamond Tiara returned her gaze, and replied in a sickly sweet voice, “Until then, Sweet Scootle-doo.” Scootaloo got very close and hissed quietly, “I’m gonna remember what you did to Miss Cherrilee today.” “Don’t get too attached to her, blank flank. By this time next week, she’ll be gone.” “Just try it,” snarled Scootaloo. “Gone?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What do you mean, gone? Is she going on a trip?” “No, you idiot, I’m going to get her fired,” snipped Diamond Tiara. There was a pause. While Scootaloo was gearing for a fight, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared at Tiara in genuine puzzlement. “How?” said Apple Bloom. Diamond Tiara smirked, “You’ll see.” “No really, how? With your ‘rich’ powers?” “Oooooo” said Sweetie Belle, waving her hooves in the air. “By the power of my bits, I cast your teacher into a pit!” Diamond Tiara’s smirk faded. “My… my dad will get her fired!” “Your dad who just made you apologize to Miss Cheerilee… is gonna get her fired?” asked Apple Bloom. “Do ya’ll listen to yourself speak?” “I’m Diamond Tiara and I just make up things, like how I fly on my non existent wings!” sang Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom stared at Sweetie Belle in confusion. However, whatever Sweetie Belle intended to convey with her taunt actually seemed to land as Diamond Tiara’s face was scrunched up in a scowl and she was shaking. “I’ll…. You’ll… be the one who… is made up!” she sputtered. “Tiara, darling!” called out Filthy Rich, “You can see your friends after the weekend! Come along now!” Tiara’s resolve returned, and she glared at Scootaloo. “This isn’t over.” “Anytime, fancy hooves,” grunted Scootaloo. Tiara snorted and walked away, head held high. Apple Bloom shook her head at the departing figure. “You know, she’s a lot less scary when you realize how dumb she is,” said Apple Bloom. “Scootaloo, you’re one bad pony, you know that?” said Sweetie Belle admiringly, “That was like Babs Seed stuff right there!” “Yeah! ‘Anytime, fancy hooves!’ Zap! Pow! Bam!” said Apple Bloom. Scootaloo shrugged as she tried to calm down, and she realized that she was shaking. None of the crusaders had ever been in a real fight before, and this was the closest she had ever come one. It scared her when she realized that but for her friends, she would have definitely thrown the first hoof. Celestia knows how THAT would have ended. “Uh oh… y’all, I think Miss Cheerilee is cryin’.” They looked through the window at their teacher. It wasn’t anything dramatic. There was no wailing or weeping. But they could clearly see Miss Cheerilee at her desk, shoulders shaking, head on her desk. It was a great shock for all of them; she was such a happy pony most of the time. Sometimes stern, sometimes serious, but never sad. “This is terrible,” said Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom nodded. But for Scootaloo especially, for some reason she couldn’t explain, seeing her teacher cry was tearing her heart out. It was as if someone had told her Rainbow Dash didn’t want to see her anymore, or that she’d never be able to fly, or never get her cutie mark, or… She felt the anger build inside her again at Diamond Tiara. Thoughts of pranks filled her mind. No, not just pranks. Revenge. But before they could get past the embryo stage, a voice said- “C’mon, crusaders. We have a new mission today,” said Sweetie Belle. “Yeah. Forget baking. We know what we have to do,” chirped Apple Bloom. “What’s that?” Scootaloo asked in a low voice, grinding her hoof into the ground. “Why, cheer up Cheerilee, of course!” said Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle nodded, smiling. “Right, Scootaloo?” Of course, thought Scootaloo, and suddenly the anger faded again. That’s what Rainbow Dash would do, what Applejack and Rarity would do, definitely what Pinkie Pie would do, and Fluttershy and Twilight- …Twilight Sparkle. A vision of earlier today floated in her mind. She looked again at her teacher. On her desk, there was a vase with dark purple flowers that were slightly wilted. A smile played upon her face- she had seen those flowers before. “Right,” announced Scootaloo, “That IS a great idea. And I think I know exactly what we're going to do...” “Rarity, we’ve been waiting for her for an hour, and I still have no idea what we’re going to do,” moaned Spike. “Patience is a virtue, dear Spike. Now hush.” Spike crossed his arms and pouted. After squabbling for twenty minutes to come up with a better name than Operation: Adorkable (they never did), they then moved onto the actual planning. Nothing seemed to get past the laugh test. From the Hearts and Hooves day fiasco, they knew that just setting up a picnic meeting wouldn’t work. A blind date probably wouldn’t work either, since they didn’t know Cheerilee well enough to set her up, and Twilight probably wouldn’t agree. (“Not to mention, darling, how can it be a blind date when they’ll recognize each other the moment they see each other?”) They had a halfway decent scheme to plan a big outing to an outdoor concert and invite Cheerilee along when Rarity suddenly shouted “Iiiidddeeeeaaaa!” And that was that, they had a plan, even thought Rarity refused to tell Spike any more than: 1) that they needed to go see Twilight right away, and 2) Spike needed to ‘play along,’ and 3) Once they realized Twilight wasn’t home they had to wait and hide. So now here they were. In the bushes. Outside the Golden Oaks Library. Waiting. “I just feel like I could be more helpful if you’d tell me what we’re doing!” said Spike. “I don’t know what I’m ‘playing along’ about.” “That’s the point, Spike. If you know the lines, it’ll look stilted and awkward.” “Yeah, you knowing what’s going on, and me in the dark. Nothing stilted or awkward about that.” There was a pause, and the two friends were left to look up at the sky. The clouds were gathering, but they could still see the sun in the distance. “Should be a nice sunset,” said Spike idly. “Oh I can’t stand this WAITING!” Rarity suddenly shouted, stomping her hooves in frustration. “Where could Twilight BE?!” “Whoa,” said Spike, “what happened to patience is a virtue?” “It can get stuffed,” groaned Rarity, “I’m tired and I’m covered in leaves and dirt and I just don’t see this working toni-" “Rarity? Spike?” said a familiar voice. The white unicorn and purple dragon both froze, then turned slowly. Standing behind them, with a bag of groceries on her side and a bemused expression on her face, was Twilight Sparkle. Rarity spoke first. “Good… afternoon, Twilight.” “Good afternoon, Rarity. Spike.” “Hi Twilight…” said Spike. They stared at one another. Then Twilight said, “Why are you in the bushes?” Rarity and Spike looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes. Spike was trying to communicate telepathically: You told me to play along, but I need something to play against! Rarity was trying to communicate telepathically: Oh no oh no oh no oh no I’ve got nothing aieeeeeeeee…. Twilight said, “I mean, I don’t mind, necessarily, but it’s… a little odd, I guess?” “Well…” said Spike slowly, “It’s a funny story.” “Yes it IS a funny story! And you know who likes funny stories, darling? Cheerilee! Cheerilee is someone who likes funny stories! That must be why she’s so cheerful! Right, Spike?!” And then Rarity burst into a fit of nervous laughter. It was one of the weirder things Spike or Twilight had ever seen Rarity do, but only Spike knew why Rarity was falling apart. He attempted to play along. “She sure is cheerful! It was nice she visited earlier today, huh? That was very… nice of her.” said Spike, who realized how quickly he was running out of material. “She’s… nice.” “Yyyyesss, she is,” said Twilight, “Um… so back to why you were in the bushes…” “Oh you know, Spike walked my things home, and then we realized I had forgotten something, so we came back, but then you weren’t here, darling! So we were trying to find the key to the library, you know, the key you keep out here ‘just in case’, which Spike said was in the bushes, but we couldn’t find it, so-" “Yeah, she realized she had left, uh… her sketch, here. For her dress that she’s making. Right, Rarity?” Spike smiled, nudging Rarity. “Rarity?” Rarity had a glazed expression on her face. The dress. The dress she was supposed to be designing for her phantom client. The dress that she had been paid in advance to make. A whole year’s salary. It had completely left her mind since Spike had first dropped the Cheerilee bombshell. And now here was Spike dropping another, that she had wasted another day on errands that did not involve the biggest design job of her career. And yet, as Twilight’s face suddenly switched from annoyed curiosity to worried concern, she remembered again why she had gone off on this bizarre quest. “Oh my goodness, Rarity! You left your sketch here? No wonder you’re digging through my shrubs! Here,” she said as she magically unlocked the door, “Come inside and we’ll find it right away!” Rarity and Spike followed her inside. Spike was giving Rarity a look, and Rarity was trying to focus on the task at hand... not her forgotten assignment back at the boutique. “What type of paper was it?” asked Twilight. “Um… design parchment? Long and flowy and… oh look here it is!” she said frantically, grabbing some piece of paper off a desk and shoving it in her bag. “Mission accomplished!” Twilight blinked. “Oh… well, good. Sorry you had to wait so long.” “Not at all, not at all… well I should be going…” “But Rarity, don’t you have… something you want to tell Twilight?” asked Spike. After a beat, he said, “Or maybe me? Or both of us??” Twilight frowned. “Alright, you two. What’s going on? You’re both being so weird.” “Yes… I’m sorry, dear, I am being quite uncouth. It’s just a bit awkward after you’ve done me this favor but I’m afraid I must ask another one…” “Of course, Rarity,” she chuckled, “What can I do for you?” “I must ask you to go visit Cheerilee!” Twilight stared at her friend. Spike, who at this point was out of Twilight’s field of vision, put his head in his claws. “I should visit Cheerilee… why?” “Because she always visits you, dear! She’s the one who always comes here and she’s such a nice pony. Does anyone go and visit her? Where does she even live? I think it’s only fair. Have you even been there since you moved here?” “Well… no,” said Twilight. “But it’s not like she’s invited me either. Wouldn’t it be rude to just show up unannounced?” “Oh, hahaha, oh Twilight…” giggled Rarity, who seemed (to Spike) dangerously close to cracking up, “You’re the student to the Princess! I would imagine you’re welcome in any teacher’s house you choose!” Twilight seemed uncertain, and then Spike blurted out, “Pony and Prejudice!” “What?” “She always checks out Pony and Prejudice, whenever there isn’t a new book to read that she’s interested in,” Spike said, making it up as he went along, “And we have like, four copies. Why not give her one? She’s the only pony who checks out the book, and we’ve been running out of space since we got here.” “But what if four ponies need the book at the same time?” “Then three of them would have the book, and one of them can wait.” said Spike, “No one needs that many copies of that book.” Twilight glared at him, and he quickly added, “No one but a library, of course. But even then, three is fine.” Twilight thought about it, and then smiled, “You know what, you’re right. I should give her that copy, the next time I see-“ “Which should be tonight, of course!” said Rarity. “Tonight?” “No time like the present!” said Rarity with a slightly mad smile. “And this is the favor you want me to do for you… to go bring a book to her?” “Yes. That is the favor. I want you. To do. For me,” said Rarity carefully. “I’ve been meaning to visit but, you know, this dress! Fashion never sleeps.” Twlight shrugged. “Alright. Maybe I’ll drop by later tonight.” “Good! Fantastic! Grand! All have done good deeds for today. Well, I must be going. Spike-would-you-walk-me-home-thank-you!” Rarity walked backwards out the door, smiling all the way. Spike and Twilight stared at her, mystified. Twilight then turned and looked questioningly at her assistant, who attempted to shrug. “Stress of a big design job. What can I say?” said Spike. “I’ll just, uh… make sure she’s okay. But do me a favor, Twilight?” Twilight sighed, “You too, Spike? Yes?” “Well, it’s the same favor. Bring Cheerilee that book tonight. Just do this for Rarity, please? I really think Cheerilee will appreciate it. And Rarity.” “Okay, okay. It’s just a book, and it’s a cloudy night forecast anyway.“ “SPIKE!” yelled Rarity from outside. “Gotta go. Seeya later! Don’t forget the book!” And then Spike was gone. Twilight was left staring at the open door that Spike had forgotten to shut. “What a day,” she muttered, closing the door and unpacking her grocery bag. “’Go visit her!’” deadpanned Spike, “That was your whole plan. ’Why don’t you go visit her?’” Rarity sighed. “It was scientific,” added Spike. Rarity glared at him. “I just got nervous, that’s all. It worked!“ “Yeah, but now, she’s giving away the one book that was a guaranteed reason for Cheerilee to visit the library!” “As I recall, that was YOUR contribution.” “You would never have gotten her to Cheerilee’s house without SOME justification. She wasn’t just going to show up for no reason!” “Very well, very well, let’s stop bickering. We’ve made some progress, yes?” Spike crossed his arms in thought. “Not enough. It could still go wrong.” Rarity lowered her head. “I agree. But I really do need to work on this dress, I’m very behind…” Spike looked up at Rarity. “Oh… right, I forgot that was a real thing.” “It’s a VERY real thing, Spike. It could be the biggest job of my career, and I’ve done almost nothing on it… and here I am, trying to set up two ponies instead. I must be mad.” Spike stopped her. “You’re Rarity, the most generous pony I know, trying to give two ponies happiness. That’s all.” Rarity chuckled. “And I’m sure that’s what Twilight thought when I was hiding in her bushes." “Look, we’re out of our depth, that’s true. Assuming our ‘bring her a book’ plan doesn’t result in Twilight Sparkle’s first date…" “Unlikely.” “Right. So, tomorrow, we get a professional.” “What? Well, who are we talking about?” asked Rarity. “Someone who knows about sneaking, spying and getting ponies to do things,” said Spike with a smile. Rarity thought about it, then shook her head. “I’m drawing a blank.” “Riddle me this, my dear Rarity… who never breaks a promise, can defy the laws of physics, predict the future and is pink all over?” There was a pause, and then a groan. “...her?” Spike shrugged, “When the going gets tough… the tough get Pinkie.” As the sun was beginning to set in the distance, Applejack was hauling her cart through the center of Ponyville. On that cart was a shaking box with, and to anypony close enough there was the unmistakable sound of...quacking. The sound was neither barking or mewing or oinking or mooing. This box was quacking. Today was already a strange day for Applejack. But when she came to the back of Sugarcube corner, it just got plain odd. The sight that greeted her was this: trampolines. At least eight of them, maybe more, all in back of Sugarcube corner. And on said trampolines- she was here, she was there, she was bouncing everywhere- "Hi!" BOUNCE "Apple-" BOUNCE "-Jack!" "Uh... Afternoon, Pinkie." "AJ, look at my new gear!" came a voice from above. Applejack looked up, and saw Rainbow Dash floating on a small cloud. She had a complicated looking orange and green contraption on her head, which It resembled a hybrid between goggles and a welding helmet. It had big black letters across the right side that spelled out XL-3006. In her hoof was a booklet that she was waving about like a feather duster. "Pinkie! According to this, I'll be able to see for miles and miles at top speed! At night!" "That's-" BOUNCE "so awe-" BOUNCE "-some!" "AND it tells you how fast you're going!" Applejack wasn't a particularly religious pony, but she figured a small prayer to Celestia wouldn't hurt: Dear Princess, y'all know I love Pinkie Pie, so please give me the strength to stop myself from knocking her out cold. At least not in front of... "Can I talk to y'all for a bit?" "Sure-" BOUNCE "Apple-" BOUNCE "J-" *Thud!* Pinkie's last bounce landed her in face-first in the grass, and face full of dirt and dandelions. Rainbow Dash cackled and rolled around her cloud in delight. "Classic!" snorted Rainbow Dash, "That will never get old." Applejack glared at Dash and walked over to Pinkie Pie. "You alright, Sugarcube?" Pinkie took her head out of the dirt and smiled, although her eyes were swirling around, unfocused, staring in impossible directions. In the moment, she looked to Applejack like Derpy's pink cousin, if Derpy had a dandelion on her head and no wings. And trampolines. "Okie...dokie... lokie?" Pinkie said, shaking her head, then looking at the spot where she fell. "Oh! I must have moved that one already. Silly Pinkie!" "Good. Now have ya'll seen- wait, what do you mean, 'that' one?" "She's got like 10 more of these, and she's been stashing them all around town." said Rainbow. "12!" Pinkie corrected, happily. Applejack took off her hat to process this news. "So you're saying you got... 20 trampolines? And you're hiding them all around town??" Pinkie Pie nodded and smiled the biggest smile she'd ever smiled. "Yepparooni! Do you know what this means, Applejack?? If I plan it right, I could bounce. All. Day. Long!" Applejack gazed into the distance, and muttered, "We're gonna need a bigger Ponyville." "But enough about my biggest wish coming true, what's up with you, Applejack? Did you want to get in on this bouncing action?" "Uh, no thanks, Pinkie. I wanted to know if ya'll saw a pony goes by the name Bonnet? Blue Bonnet?" "Did I? Did I?!" Pinkie paused. "Wait, did I?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "We both did. He's the one who gave me these awesome specs." "That's right! I did! He came up to me with Caramel and said, are you Eip Eiknip? And I said, I don't think so, and then Caramel said 'of course not, that’s Pinkie Pie, idiot' and I said ‘I thought your name was Blue Bonnet, I'm sooo sorry I’ve been using your wrong name!', and he said ‘My name is Blue Bonnet and I'm supposed to deliver all these trampolines to Eip Eiknip in Ponyville’ and I was like-" She took a big breath and jumped up in the air and gasped, then returned to earth and continued: "’There's a pony with a super cool name like that in Ponyville and I didn't know about it?!’ And then Caramel said to Blue Bonnet ‘There is no Eip Eiknip! We've been had! You've blue'd this up again!’ And then Caramel left and Blue was really sad and I said 'I'm really sorry you're blue, Blue, can I do anything to help?' And he said 'do you want 20 trampolines?' And I said ‘Do I? Do I?!" She took another giant breath and said, "And then I said, Yes. Yes I do!" She grinned again. "And that's the story of how Ponyville became tramploineland!" Applejack stared at Pinkie with half-lidded eyes and sighed. She turned to look at Dash, who had stopped listening and was fiddling with her new toy. "Dash? You know where Bonnet is?" "Nah. He was here a while ago, asking me if I knew a pegasus named Sahib Onward. Told him no, and then he asked me if I knew what an XL-3006 was and I said that it was only the coolest, most awesome top of the line flying gear EVER." She grinned and pulled the device over her face. "And now I get to wear flight goggles at night- at sonic boom speeds!" "I'm detectin' a pattern here, I also got this box from Bonnet... 'xcept I didn't get no trampolines or fancy eyewear." She looked at her cart. "Ooh! Ooh! What did you get??" said Pinkie, jumping up and down. "Is it some super awesome apple picker?" asked Rainbow Dash. "A lifetime supply of apple seeds?" said Pinkie. "Lame! I bet it's a super awesome portable scarecrow!" grinned Rainbow Dash. "The world's biggest apple pie??" gasped Pinkie Pie. "That's a pretty small box for the world's biggest apple pie, Pinkie." "You're right. Is it the world's SMALLEST apple pie?" "It's a box of baby ducks," said Applejack. There was a pause. "What." said Rainbow Dash, so flatly it was barely a question. "See fer yourself..." She opened the box and they all peered inside to be greeted by a gaggle of quacking baby ducks. They were all tumbling and falling over each other, and when the box opened, they looked up expecting food. When they didn't get it, they quacked their disapproval. "That's a lot of ducks," whispered Rainbow Dash. "Ah know." One duck in particular noticed the dandelion that was still on Pinkie Pie's head, and it started jumping up and quacking at her. "Sooooo cute!" Pinkie yipped, "Applejack, did you adopt these baby ducks?!" "What? No! I don't know what I'd do with one baby duck, never mind a whole box of'em!" "Well I do!" Pinkie took the duck that was trying to eat her dandelion into her hooves, and cooed: "He shall be mine, and he shall be named Quacky, and he shall be my Quacky!" "Quack," quacked the newly christened Quacky, still trying to get at the dandelion. "See? He loves me!" "Quack." Applejack rolled her eyes. "Anyway, this Blue Bonnet fella shows up, lookin all bent out of shape, and he says is this Apple Acres? I say yes sir. He says are you Gum Vou Fitz? I say no. There ain't no pony with that name here. Then he just drops the box on the ground and... Well, he said a bad word." Applejack blushed. "And then some more bad words. And then he ran off. He might'ta been cryin'. I've been trying to find him ever since." "A pony named Gum-Vou-Fitz??" "Ah don't know how you say it, but he left the paperwork with the box. Here." Dash, Pinkie and Quacky all looked at the invoice. Pony Postal Service (PPS) Order #00003 Contents: Live Orphaned Baby Ducks. Warning: Fragile! Deliver to: Gmvuufstiz, c/o Sweet Apple Acres From: CONFIDENTIAL PAID IN FULL "Gmvuufstiz?! That's not even a name!" Dash snorted. "Quacky?? You're an orphan??" Pinkie cried, hugging her new pet. "I'm so sorry, Quacky!" "Quack!" said Quacky, who, failing to get the dandelion, grabbed the invoice and tried to devour it. "Bad Quacky! Spit it out!" "Don’t matter, the paper won’t help. I already went to the PPS office. Looks like it just started up a week ago, and it was just a two pony operation. But I’m guessin based on what happened with you, Pinkie, Caramel quit. So it’s now a one pony operation, and I can’t find that pony." Applejack sighed and shook her head. "What am I going to do with these critters? I don't want 'em, but I can't just let 'em loose. Poor things wouldn't make it, bein' orphans and all." Dash smiled. "Easy. Two words: Flutter... shy." Applejack brightened. "Of course!" "Dashie? I think Fluttershy is one word." Dash narrowed her eyes. "You're not the boss of Fluttershy's name!" "You're both right," said Applejack, closing the lid on the box, “Fluttershy’ll know what do with these ducks.” She looked at Pinkie, who was still cuddling Quacky. “Uh, Sugarcube? You mind givin’ me that duck back? Pinkie glared at Applejack. “I love you Applejack, but if you lay one hoof on little Quacky here…” Applejack blinked in surprise, then rallied and said, “Well then, congrats on yer new pet, Pinkie! Hope he and Gummy get along…” Pinkie gasped, “Oh no, Gummy! What will he think? Will he think he’s being replaced?! Quacky’s not replacing Gummy-“ she stared at the duck eye to eye, “You’re not replacing Gummy! You’re his little brother, you got that? We’re all one big happy family!” Quacky then tried to bite her nose, but it amounted to less than a tickle. She giggled, “See? Just like your big brother! We’re going to get along great! In fact, let’s go meet him now!” She smiled and waved, “Say bye bye to everyone, Quacky!” “Quack,” said Quacky. Rainbow and Applejack waved as Pinkie Pie bounced into Sugarcube Corner with her new pet in tow. “She still has that Dandelion on her head…” said Rainbow Dash. Applejack smiled, “Ah know. Seeya, Dash,” and started hauling the cart away towards Fluttershy’s house. Rainbow Dash yelled “Seeya!” and watched her go, a smile on her face. She would never admit it out loud, but she was always sad to see Applejack go everytime they said goodbye. Shaking her head, she settled back onto her cloud, adjusting the settings on her new gadget. Now all she needed was the sun to go down completely, and then she’d be all set to try it out. Doing what, she did not know, but it was going to be awesome. “Rainbow Dash!” “Scootaloo?” The little orange Pegasus ran up, out of breath. “I need your help!” Rainbow strapped her headgear on, jumped off her cloud and landed in front of Scootaloo, flexing her wings. “What’s up, squirt?” Scootaloo couldn’t speak for a moment, as she stared at her idol striking a pose complete with her new totally rad headgear. It was physically impossible for her role model to be any cooler. She then recovered and said, “I need to get some flowers!” Rainbow Dash’s grin faded a bit. “Uh… flowers.” “It’s for a cutie mark crusaders mission! I’m trying to get Purple Night Flowers but they don’t sell’em in town!” “Purple Night Flowers…?” asked Dash, thinking. “Aren’t those the kind that only grow on top of mountains, and are really expensive to grow and bloom only at night?” She blinked and muttered to herself, “Why in Equestria would I know th-“ she narrowed her eyes. “Applejack.” “Right, well, I can’t find’em anywhere and it’s really important I get them like, now,” said Scootaloo, “But the road to the mountain is closed ‘cause there’s still snow up there! Can you help me out?” Rainbow Dash grinned like a hungry pony looking at a pile of oats in front of a sign that said, ‘Free Oats.’ She walked up to Scootaloo.“Hop on, kid. Let’s go get some extremely rare flowers at night.” Scootaloo smiled and climbed onto her hero. “Thanks, Dash! But… aren’t you worried about the closed road?” “Roads?” said Rainbow Dash, strapping her new goggles over her eyes, “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”