Chapter 1
It was a pleasant enough day in Ponyville. Celestia’s bright sun shined down on all of the green grass and trees. Ponies walked about, minding their own business with smiles on their faces. That was, until a portal opened up in the air. It was a standard portal, as things went. Big ‘ole circle with the colors of purple and swirling milky way star map on visibly seen through the portal. One pony picked up a head to look and then shake its head to the sides. Another human...
“Oh look...” Rarity said, her voice a bit bored. She and her sister were about to enter the Carousel Boutique with grocery bags. Sweetie Bell picked her head up, tired after pulling a small wagon full of bags. Like her sister, her gray eyes looked over at the portal.
“Don’t tell me... Another human,” Sweetie Bell guessed, rolling her eyes. “Is this one of those Emo types, or one of those that wants sex?”
“Actually now that you mention it- He doesn’t look like the regular ones,” Rarity said, pulling her head back from doorway. The little unicorn raised her eyebrows. “But let the others handle him, we already did the last one.”
“What do you mean, not like the others?”
“Well, this one is dressed in clothes that resembles one of the worker types- I think you remember that construction worker from before?” Rarity moved back from the door to let her sister walk inside.
“You’re right. He also doesn’t look sad or happy. But he does look like he’s ready for a long stay,” Sweetie said, squinting her eyes. The filly studied the guy as the portal vanished. “Is that camping gear on his back?”
The human picked himself to stand straight, moving each hand to dust off his clothes. He had short black hair, wearing tough and heavy looking fabrics. But he wore the standard blue jeans many humans had seen with before. On his back, he had a large backpack with camping supplies on his back. His head turned to look over at a stall that was selling apples.
“Oh, he’s walking away,” Sweetie said to look up at her sister.
“What direction? Let me guess, most want Fluttershy to bone her or to use her to find Rainbow Dash. Or to the Library...”
“Actually- I think its to Applejack’s apple cart.”
“Oh, he’s one of those...” Rarity shook her head to the sides and walked off to her sewing machine.
“Sis, are you upset that another human doesn’t want to date you?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Of.. Of course not! These human creatures are nothing but uncouth perverts!” Rarity moved to hide her blush behind her work.
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“Apples! Come git ‘em while they’re fresh! Just 2 bits-” Applejack stopped talking, spotting a shadow walking by. Dangit! A human. And when she wasn’t at her farm. They never showed up at the farm right away. Better try to act cool. With any luck, she could make this one work at the farm so much that he will be begging to go home.
“Excuse me. Sorry to bother you, but which way is City Hall?” The human asked with a small smile.
“Pardon me stranger, but ya said City Hall?” Applejack asked, lifting her left eyebrow in question.
“Yes, sorry I can’t buy your apples yet. Once I get a job, I’ll make sure to come back,” the human said to nod. He lost his smile, moving to stand straight and slip his hands into his jacket.
“Ah see. Just down the street mister. One with the fancy roof, can’t miss it...” Applejack said. The human nodded and smiled, turning to walk off. The orange cowpony tilted her head to the side, just watching the man walk off. That was weird, none of the standard questions. No flirting either. Still, she said nothing. Long as she was left alone, the better. Back to selling.
“Is he gone?” A voice whispered behind her. The apple seller released a sigh.
“Yeah, he’s gone Sugercube...”
“Oh. For a moment there I thought I was a goner...” Fluttershy stood out from the bush she was hiding in. Saddlebags on her sides indicated she had come to the market to get supplies.
“Gonner?” Applejack raised her left eyebrow, moving a hoof out to get the pegasus outta the foliage.
“Oh well... These humans seem to like to bump into me. All my things fall out,” Fluttershy explained as she got out of the bush. “Or they would stand up for me from others pushing me around. Then they will offer to help me home...” The pegasus smiled, her eyes getting a far away look. “Then we fall in love and rut like animals!”
“Too much info there!” Applejack frowned.
“Like you’re any different. Maybe,” Fluttershy defended herself, snapping out of her reverie.
“At times,” the earth pony frowned. “Let’s hope he gets some pony else before heat season.”
“Oh, I do so hope he does,” Fluttershy moved to the main road. “I almost have to beg these humans to rut me. It’s like they are afraid of hurting me.”
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The human looked around a bit, walking towards one of the large buildings of Ponyville. It was hard to miss, the thing had a giant rooftop. The only other building taller than it was the Clocktower. As he walked past, Pinkie Pie peeked her head out of her room to look down and sigh.
“Another one? I better get the 'cupcake' look ready,” Pinkie Pie said to the Cake Foals inside. “Oh, you're Auntie Pinkie is going to scare another- Huh?” The human continued walking, not bothering to even look in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. Tilting her head to the side, Pinkie looked out her window again. “Must be going after Twilight. I’d better let her get it then. Guess no pranks today!” She giggled, moving back to look at her charges.
As he walked, the human took note that the other ponies didn’t even bother to look in his direction. This suited the human just fine. He left them alone, they left him alone. Most of the ponies assumed this one had been around awhile- He wasn’t doing the usual stupid things most humans did when they got here. Which happened so much, that a public edict had been issued in newspaper to warn the general population:
1. Squeal with happiness.
2. Show signs of being confused.
3. Ask boring questions, like where he was, or where any of the Elements of Harmony were.
4. Do something stupid, like try to make friends like some rabid fan of Sapphire Shores.
5. Try to fight or take over Equestria.
The human walked past the Golden Oaks Library, not bothering to head inside. Spike the Dragon took his head away from the window and raised an eyebrow.
“Huh. That human just walked past here. Didn't even have to do my whole “who are you” acting bit...” Spike said to look over at Peewee. The baby phoenix chirped.
“Something the matter Spike?” Twilight Sparkle asked, lifting her head up from her book.
“Oh nothing, just another human in Equestria,” Spike said to walk over and grab some books to put away.
“Ergh. Another one? Why are you putting books away then? Shouldn't you get ready?” The purple unicorn asked to step away from her studies.
“That’s just it Twilight. He just walked past us, not even bothering to look at this tree,” Spike said with a shrug. “This guy must have passed a few of us by now, and he doesn't seemed fazed by anything.”
“Wait... walking past? You’re right. He should have at least met one of the Elements of Harmony by now. Rarity is not introducing anyone, there is no screaming by Pinkie Pie. Applejack is sometimes missed, and Rainbow Dash is not falling immediately in love...”
“You know, that’s not fair Twilight. Rainbow Dash isn’t the only lonely one that gets taken in by the affections of humans,” Spike said to look up at his pseudo mom. Twilight coughed once, trying to clear the blush in her cheeks.
“Yes well, I long since learned my lesson. But we’d better check on him, even if he’s not interested in any of us. He could be one of those interested in Princess Luna or Celestia...” Twilight said to roll her eyes.
“Well, you’d better hurry, I think he’s heading to City Hall.”
“City Hall? What’s there?” Twilight asked to lift her right eyebrow in question. Humans never went there other than the occasional one that wanted to bang one of the few mares that wore glasses. She stepped out of the door and begun to follow after the human. She was not curious at all about how romantic this man could be. Certainly not.
“Don’t fall in love again...” Spike warned. Twilight blushed a bit sheepishly and walked out the door.
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The hero walked up to the building, finally smiling for the first time. He made it, with plenty of time still left on the day. He wondered just how people saw the Mayor though. Appointment? Should he just walk in?
“Uh, Mayor?” Time Turner raised his eyebrows, looking out the window.
“Yes Mr. Turner?” Mayor Mare raised her eyebrows, turning to look at him from her desk.
“It’s a human...”
“Oh, one of those. Let’s see. Is he with one of the Elements of Harmony?” Mare got off her chair, walking over to join him.
“Uh no... And he’s coming over. This one... Looks different somehow,” Turner raised his eyebrows. He opened the window with a hoof. “Hello sir! How can I help you?” The stallion asked.
“Greetings. I’m here to see the Mayor please. Do I have to make an appointment?” The human asked with a small smile.
“About what, if you mind me enquiring?”
“I want a job.”
“A job?” Time Turner blinked twice and retreated his head back through the window. Most humans did want a job true, but they never made it to City Hall. He turned to look at the Mayor. A bit curious, she raised a hoof to him to urge the human on. Once more, Turner stuck his head out. “What’s your name sir?”
“Chuck Norris."