//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Of musicals, depression and artist block // Story: Rainbow in the Dark // by Sayer //------------------------------// Edited and revised by kalash93. Thanks for everything, pal! Chapter 7: Of musicals, depression and artist block “Looks like yesterday was just a nightmare,” I said to myself. Small droplets of water clashed against my windows, like a symphony played by the clouds above me. The blankets were wrapped around my body like a changeling trapping his prey inside a cocoon, but I managed get out of bed. My still head hurt as if Pinkie Pie had shot me with her party cannon, but the pain had subdued since yesterday. “Rainbow, Are you still there? Rainbow?” The house was shrouded in silence, only defeated by the echo of my voice resounding through the hallways. Did yesterday really happen, or was it a nightmare induced by the fever? “Did you call me?” She replied as she entered my bedroom. I felt relaxed to see that everything was still alright. “I was looking for lunch, but your fridge is empty. I think you should go and buy groceries later.” “Yeah, I should go already. After all, you took care of me for two straight days.” She looked at me, dumbfounded. “Are you alright? I’ve been taking care of you for three days already.” “Three days? But, I…” I suddenly started to feel tired and heavy, forced to rest my head against the pillow. I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again, finding myself alone in my own house. I was confused and still a bit dizzy, so I opted to read one of my comics. I turned my attention towards my night table. The inhaler lying on top of the furniture flipped a switch inside my brain, and the memories of what happened yesterday quickly flashed in front of my eyes like a slideshow. She left me because I had lied to her and put my life at risk. I felt the first twinges of a headache, but it was nothing compared to how my heart was feeling; torn out, broken, reduced to a million pieces, unable to beat... There are countless ways of describing a broken heart, but all of them meant the same thing. I was dead inside, without the will to do anything aside from lying on my bed like a vegetable. Tears started to flow from my eyes, like a dam opening its doors to get rid of its contents. I cried out to my heart’s content, to the point that even though I didn’t have more tears, I was still sobbing uncontrollably. I opted to stand still like a rock, without moving a muscle until I would wake up from this nightmare. The only problem is that I wasn’t dreaming. I buried my face against the pillow, hoping that I would fall asleep and wake up to find out everything had been a hallucination caused by the fever, a bad dream, or simply anything that could fix this situation. Anything but this reality where I had betrayed somepony who truly cared about me and broken her heart. My ears perked upon the sound of my front door opening, but I didn’t care. It could be a demon from Tartarus who wanted to deliver me in a silver plate to Hades for what I did, or maybe Rainbow Dash, wanting to finish the job with her own hooves. Either way, I didn’t give a flying feather. The sound of hooves clopping against the floor got closer until they stopped behind me. I could feel a warm breath over my neck, probably to check if I was still alive; I stood still, as if I were still sleeping, hoping it would go away. A voice coming from a familiar mare yelled into my ear so loud it managed to make my brain bounce inside my head like a football in the middle of an earthquake. “GOOD MORNING, BROWNIE! IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP!” “Don’t do that!” I yelled back as I fell to the floor loudly enough to be heard all miles away. The crazy pink pony bounced all over the place, as if something bad would happen if she ever stopped moving. “Hey, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” “What do you think? You enter my home, scream into my ear and make me crash against the floor!” I exclaimed as I got back, standing on my four legs. “If you want a drawing, come back another day. I‘m not in the mood for work, talking or anything involved with other living beings; especially other ponies.” “Well, duh,” she replied with a gesture of her hoof. “I already knew that. That’s why I came to pay you a visit and cheer you up.” I sighed. “So, I presume you talked with Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie quickly shook her head. “My Pinkie Sense told me you were having a bad time, so I thought you could use a happy song to cheer you up!” Great, a musical number. Just what I need. She took my right hoof and quickly dragged me outside. The grey sky hanging above my head leaked their contents against the town below. “Come on, sing with me!” She started her musical number as if I was watching a musical number in Broadbarn and soon started to sing, much to my chagrin. “My name is Pinkie Pie-” I interrupted her, feeling the urge to start my own. It felt weird at first, since I never did one before and I wasn’t a great singer, but something was bringing me to act this way; to express myself with a song. And I knew what I wanted to sing. “I'm cold and broken…” The music started to play, and soon I could feel my body aching for me to start, to let it out already; to give everything and finish this penance. “It's over. I didn't want to see it come to this. I wonder if I will ever see your face again… And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin. It's simple; I know that I will suffer in the end.” I walked aimlessly, singing to my heart’s desire. “Fast I fade away, it’s almost over.” Pinkie joined me. “Hold on…“ I continued. “Slow I suffocate, I'm cold and broken. Alone…” Thousands of drops continued falling from the sky, clashing against my body and joining their fallen comrades. “It's hopeless; the end will come and wash it all away. Forsaken, I live for those I lost along the way; and I can't remember how it all began to break. You suffer, I live to fight and die another day.” I looked towards the dark sky as Pinkie Pie silently followed me, probably wondering what she could do to help. “Fast I fade away, it's almost over.” “Hold on,” she replied. “Slow I suffocate, I'm cold and broken. Alone…” I started to cry again, hiding my tears between the rain drops. I didn’t really care if Pinkie Pie noticed it, but if she didn’t, she didn’t show any hints. “Fast I fade away, it's almost over” She stopped me. “Hold on.” “Slow I suffocate, I'm cold and broken. Alone…” The clouds started to pour its contents with even a greater strength than before. “I'm cold and broken…” A few thunders echoed in the distance, and although I was all soaked, I felt better than before. My depression was still present, looming over me like a dark shadow trying to suck out the happiness from my body, but his influence was starting to weaken. My wet clothes were pressing against my body, trying to subdue me without any results. A pink hoof belonging to the crazy mare landed on my shoulder. “That was a nice song. Did anypony ever tell you you’re a good singer?” A weak smile spread across my face. “Never, but the truth is that I never liked to sing. Everypony laughed at me, so I instead kept my mouth shut whenever there was a musical act. I only trained a few times each week, and only when there was nopony around to hear me.” Why am I telling her my life? It’s not like she cares or anything. “So, why do you feel so bad? Do you need help?” I considered for a moment about telling her everything; how I lied to my new friends, my love for Rainbow Dash, that she left after discovering the truth, how I had hurt her… “No, thanks. I can handle this on my own.” “Oki doki loki! Good luck!” She quickly left me, disappearing through the maze of streets that was Ponyville. Sometimes I wondered if she was crazy or just acted like one to make her friends laugh. In any case, it wasn’t working for me. The streets were almost empty aside of a few ponies running back home to escape from the rain; the countless droplets clashing against my body reminded me that this wasn’t a dream. I went back home and laid down on my bed again before looking at my clock, telling me it was about three in the afternoon, or so. My stomach grumbled, protesting the lack of food, but I didn’t care; I had lost my appetite and the will to do anything else. I spent what felt like an eternity with my mind blank, trying to push away anything that could make me think of Rainbow Dash, but it didn’t work; her image materialized in front of me, angry and disgusted at my actions. They say that guilt is felt loss of trust. I’m surprised that I’m not being followed by national security agents. I got out of bed and took a seat at my desktop, trying to find an exit by working on one of the drawings I had left unfinished. I took a pencil and pressed it against the blank paper in front of me. No, that was wrong. I erased the lines. After a few more attempts, I hurled the pencil against the wall and threw myself down on the bed. Somepony knocking on my door interrupted my thoughts. “Go away. I’m not in the mood for another song, Pinkie Pie.” “I’m not Pinkie Pie, you Dummkopf,” a voice replied as she entered my bedroom. “What are you doing here? And why are you so wet? Did you take a bath with your clothes on and couldn’t find a towel or what?” “What are you doing here? The door is locked with a key!” I countered. I didn’t expect her to pay me a visit, and even less to come inside my house without knocking on my door. “I may work as a mechanic, but I spent a long time building doors and locks, like this one you have installed in your house.” Great, just what I needed, a lecture about how much she knows about machines and anything made of metal. “The one you own is a very bad model; even a filly with a stick could force it open in a matter of seconds. You should try to buy a new one from the Gordian Knots company; they can take the door down, but the lock remains there.” “Great, I’ll go and replace it as soon as I earn enough money,” I replied. I wasn’t in the mood for talking. “What do you want? I’m a bit busy here, working on all the drawings I owe to my customers. If you want my help for another paint job, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline it until I finish some of my commissions.” I couldn’t come up with a better excuse to get her out of my house. She ignored me, her attention caught by my bedroom. “So, this is your house? I expected a dirty place with everything scattered and a big mess, just like Discord’s disciple.” I sighed.“Yeeeaaaah, because the god of Chaos and Disharmony would choose me to be his heir when he gets tired of having fun. Besides, Pinkie Pie would be a better candidate.” Great, now I’m getting sidetracked. “Do you want anything else, or you just wanted to pass by and laugh at my miserable life? I bet Rainbow Dash already told everything to the entire town.” She looked at me with a puzzled expression. “What the buck are you talking about? I came here because Pinkie Pie told me you were depressed, and since she couldn’t find Rainbow Dash, she visited me because I’m your second best friend. Or at least the closest friend you have in a hundred mile radius.” I didn’t expect that reply. “So, you don’t know why I’m feeling bad, yet you still wanted to help me?” She flashed a smile at me. “Look, I know our relationship is more that of boss and employee, but I know you’re a good colt, and if there’s something you want to tell me, I’ll listen to you.” Hey, you’re not that much older than me! Or maybe she is? She never told me about her age. I started to feel relieved, but was still reluctant to tell her everything. “Well, I had a little argument with Rainbow Dash the other day, and she got mad at me. Now she’s angry and doesn’t want to speak with me anymore, but yeah, I can’t blame. After all, I’ve lied to her and everypony I know. Of course, that includes you too.” I couldn’t quite decipher her expression. “And what did you lie about? Are you one of those transvestites or something? You’re a cyborg sent from the future? You’re her grandchild from an alternate apocalyptic future?” I smiled weakly. “You wish… I have asthma, and I kept it hidden because I was afraid she would reject me, and everypony knows how much she loves to go full throttle and fly at high speeds. When I told her the truth, she got angry because I lied to her and left.” “Wait, you have asthma?” That really took her by surprise. “But asthma doesn’t make you slow, nor makes you get tired faster. And it can be cured after a few years.” A hoof suddenly slammed my berserk button. “That’s what everypony says! And let me tell you, there’s two kind of asthma: normal, and chronic. And right now, mine will last longer than Princess Luna’s banishment to the moon!” The green pony unplugged her ears. “You didn’t have to yell at me like that.” I sighed. “Sorry, it’s just that I get tired of listening to the same answers every time I say I have asthma, and after the millionth time it gets a bit frustrating. And the rest of my problems are because my parents never allowed me to run and play like a normal child. I never got to be a kid...”My shoulders dropped. She took a seat beside me on the bed. “Getting back on track, why don’t you do something other than lie around, lamenting how much your life sucks?” She brushed against my legs, causing heat to rise to my cheeks. I sighed. “What do you expect me to do? She probably doesn’t want to talk with me, and even if I tried to pursue her, she’s the fastest pony of Equestria! I would never catch her.” “You know, when she came to tell me you were ill, she acted like your jealous girlfriend. Trust me, I know about that. I think she likes you too, Brownie. You’re a likable guy.” My ears perked upon hearing those words. “Wait, what? Are you serious?” “Of course I’m serious!” she replied, bringing rubbing my arm with her hoof.” Her voice suddenly became almost sultry. “Say, if things with her don’t work out, well, I swing both ways and my marefriend doesn’t mind sharing…” “¡¿Q-Que?!” I sputtered, in my shock, reverting to my native tongue. She smiled and looked me in the eyes. “Just remember that you have options, Brownie. Besides, sometimes, things just happen for a reason, and what you didn’t want or expect when you started turns out to all be for the best.” Well, she got me there. “Besides, if you don’t do it, I’ll fire you.” I had a double take before realizing what she'd said. “Wait, what? Under what legal circumstances?” The green mare used her magic to take out a scroll of parchment from one of her jumpsuit pockets and showed it to me. “It’s all in the contract. Notice the third paragraph's sixth clause.” I read aloud the text scribbled on the paper. "Yes, I am your boss and I can fire your plot for any reason, or without a reason. This includes being a moping wimp." She took away the contract, hiding inside her jumpsuit. “Is that even legal?” “I took it to a lawyer, and he accepted it as a legal contract, so yeah, I can fire you for being such a wimp.” I should probably read the next contract better. “Well, you’re never going to catch her lying here! Now move your plot and get her back, or you’re fired!” For emphasis, she slapped me on mine. What is up with her today? She was playful before, but this time she seemed to take another step further. “Alright, alright, I got it!” I might have sounded reluctant to get her back, but the truth was that I just didn’t know how to make things right. I would need help, and I knew the best course of action. “Mecha, can you do me a little favor?” She quickly frowned. “I’m not buying you groceries. But I can help in other ways.” She smirked and pressed against me. I blushed. “Nah, this time is different. I want you to gather the rest of the mane six at the library for this evening just after sunset. I’ll fix this mess or die trying!” “Sounds like a plan,” she said proudly as she relinquished her hold on me. I don’t mind her; this is just something that good friends do to each other. We went our separate ways. As I waited for them at the library, I devised the possible outcomes from this reunion, and prepared a few responses based on what they would say. I had the feeling that just once, something absolutely had to go right today. If it did, it’s just that I didn’t know what I’d do. I couldn’t bear to think about it. And so it was with trepidation that I ate my last meal before stealing over to the library, not knowing what the future held. The lights were on and I could distinctly make out five voices coming from inside. I stood outside the door, listening to the crickets. It is said that crickets chirp by rubbing their legs against their wings like tiny violins. A million violins playing for me… it wasn’t an unfitting idea. I turned the knob and walked inside with my head held high and my heart low. Five ponies stood inside. They all turned and looked at me silently. Each step echoed through the room and my heart to magnify its wild beating. At long last, I soon stood at the podium – my scaffold, prepared to address my firing squad. I desperately tried to recall their names from my welcome party, but my mind was frozen in fear. Their bemused eyes narrowed, the tension only growing thicker. “Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy; friends of Rainbow Dash. Thank you all for coming.” What am I, a condemned nobleman? “I know that I’ve done wrong, and I want to make amends for my mista--” “Ya lied to Rainbow, pardner,” Applejack replied. “Why would ah help you?” Rarity wasn’t much better. “How could you hurt her feelings like that?” “You betrayed her trust and took advantage of her! That’s not funny, sir!” I had never seen Pinkie Pie so angry before. Well, the truth is I had never seen her angry before. “You should have told the truth from the beginning!” Fluttershy exclaimed before returning to her normal self. “But um, I'm sorry." Meeting them at the library started to feel like the worst idea of my short life. I tried to excuse myself. “Look, I know that what I did isn’t going to get me the bleeding heart prize of Equestria, but I’m trying to fix my mistake! I want to apologize to her for everything wrong I did, and…” I lowered my head, looking at the floor beneath me, wishing to be swallowed by the earth. “I was afraid she would dump me.” Now that I said it, I only thought, Just how damn childish are you, Brownie? “Well, now she dumped you because you lied to her,” Applejack replied. “Now why should we help ya?” Pinkie Pie quickly interceded. “Oh, oh, I know, I know!” She started to bounce all over the place with her hoof raised, as if we were in the middle of a class. “Because he’s really sorry?” I tried to jump on this one piece of flotsam, only to have it sink before I could reach it. Rarity continued the rant. “Being sorry doesn’t fix anything, Pinkie. Especially after playing with her feelings. No matter what your intentions, you didn’t show her any trust or loyalty. Why should we show any to you?” Fluttershy peeked out from behind the white unicorn. “She didn’t take it too well. I haven’t seen her so sad in a long time.” “Ya want to do something right, pardner?” Applejack said, pressing her forehead against me. “Forget her, pack your things and go back to where ya came from. You've done enough damage to her already." Fluttershy added, “If you were serious about making up, then you’d do it yourself. I’m sorry, but we aren’t your messengers.” I lifted a hoof and struggled, “But, but…” The words just wouldn’t come. “Who am I kidding? I deserve to be alone...” My executioners walked away as I spent myself on the floor. A familiar small hand rested on my shoulder, connecting back to a baby dragon’s body. “Hey, don’t have such a long face. Why don’t you ask Twilight for help? I bet she would probably fix this mess in a matter of seconds.” I pondered that idea for a moment before scrapping it. “Thanks, Spike, but I don’t think that’s a hot idea, either.” He gazed at me. “Are you sure? I mean, she is the princess of friendship, after all. It’s worth a shot.” I heaved a sigh as I picked myself up. “Yeah, whatever, Spike. Go send off a letter and pray she doesn’t throw it at the fireplace.” As if Twilight would be any happier and eager to help me than Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Fluttershy. The next several days were a living hell for me. Not only did Rainbow Dash avoid me, but the rest of her friends too. Applejack would act as if I wasn’t there every time I visited the market, Pinkie Pie would disappear every time I visited Sugarcube corner, Rarity refused to open the door to Carousel Boutique, and Fluttershy… well, she didn’t really do anything, but her pet rabbit would make sure I didn’t get close to her cottage. My depression got even worse, and I only found refuge in Mecha’s garage, the only place where I was still accepted and wouldn’t stumble across any of them. One morning I received a note from Spike, telling me that the new Daring Do book had finally arrived. For a moment there, I feared that Rainbow Dash would visit the library too, but such a lazy pony wouldn’t wake up until midday or so. Besides, the library was probably my third safe heaven, besides my home and the garage. I quickly went to the library, making sure to avoid the rest of the girls and any more death glares. I stepped inside and called out, “Spike? Are you here?” No reply. He probably left to make some errands and forgot to hang a “Back in ten minutes” sign. I opened the book, ready to devour the story written inside when a familiar voice exclaimed something from the front door. “What are you doing here?!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “I don’t want to see you anymore!” She tried to leave the library, but to our surprise, the door had been locked behind her. The mare stamped her hoof. “What the…? Is this your doing?” She hurtled at me on those wings and hovered about my head like a harpy. “My what? I didn’t do anything! I only came here because Spike told me he got the last Daring Do book in a note I found in my mail about an hour ago.” Her eyes widened and her voice lost its brittle growl. “A while ago? No kidding -- I got the same note yesterday, telling me that the book would be here by tomorrow morning.” Her glare evaporated. Rainbow being too distracted to lash me was a luxury that I’d have to savor at another time. “But then who…?” We heard clopping behind us, followed almost immediately by a voice familiar to Rainbow Dash but strange to me. “Sorry for deceiving you, but this was the only way to get you two in the same place.” We both focused on the stairs leading to the upper floor as a pony walked down the stairs, wearing a crown and a fancy dress that allowed her wings to move freely. “I should have done this sooner, but being a princess really takes up all my time.” We exclaimed at the same time with me bowing, “Twilight Sparkle?!”