//------------------------------// // Chapter the Eighteenth Part One // Story: Looking Through the Pokeball // by Magical Trevor //------------------------------// Okay, if being pampered like this is what it means to be a ‘pet’ in Equestria, I am in no rush to head back home. Sweetie Belle used my tail as a blanket again, but I didn’t really mind. Apparently, Rarity makes sure that Sweetie Belle takes a nice, long bath every night, and has... I don’t even know how many kinds of conditioners and shampoos for their coats, mane and tail, and so forth. I know I said it before, but it was really nice being able to take a bath, instead of just a shower. Back on Earth, I was so big I could barely recline in a bathtub, let alone lay down. So yeah, last night was relaxing, and, for like the first time since I was a kid, I actually slept all night. I’m not a morning person until I wake up, but when Rarity knocked on Sweetie’s door and woke us up, I actually felt energetic! I jumped out of the bed, or rather, tried to, only to land flat on my face. Sweetie Belle was still latched onto my tail, whining that she needed five more minutes. Ignoring the giggling sadist still in the doorway, I backed up onto the bed, and then turned around to face Sweetie Belle. Alright. It was time to assert myself! It was time to show her that I was not just a pet. I’m a person too, dammit! And you will treat me as s- Help! She’s got me in a choke hold! I’m running out of air! Lungs... failing... Arms... too weak... Brian... status report! Urgle wrubfnwoer... I’m not even sure how I did it, but eventually I broke her hold on my neck. Of course, she just switched back to my tail, but that I could deal with. After regaining my breath, I realised that, sadly, just because I had switched bodies didn’t mean that I was physically fit. Now, it should hopefully be easier to lose weight since I was smaller now, and from what I had seen, their food overall was more healthy, but I was going to need a lot of exercise to lose weight and build muscle. As I stared at Sweetie Belle, I had an idea. It was a terrible idea... Fluffy the Flareon had a terrible, awful idea... Brian, I don’t need you quoting stuff, okay? Was it my brightest idea? No, but at least it was an idea, which is more than I can say you came up with! A stupid idea is better than no idea! Uh-huh... Keep telling yourself that. You just might start to believe it. Anyway, I eventually decided that it would be brilliant to carry Sweetie Belle around. After all, that should strengthen my legs, and give me endurance, right? So I shoved my head under her belly, and wiggled forward. Once I was far enough forward, Sweetie Belle was forced to release my tail, must to my relief. She whimpered slightly, waving her hooves around for a moment, searching for something else to grab. Eventually she put her forehooves around my mane, and I was grateful that she didn’t seem to be as heavy as I first thought. Not that I was deluded. I knew she would become heavy in no time, but at least I wouldn’t be totally drained in five minutes and then be worthless for the rest of the day. I jumped down to the floor, however, and my legs buckled. I didn’t collapse entirely, but I was close. The first few steps I staggered a little bit, but I was able to adjust to her weight eventually. Of course, that’s when I got to the stairs... Ohhhhh do I loathe stairs... Anyone who has ever played a certain game, starting in final, and ending in fantasy, with the number seven thrown around in there somewhere knows why I hate stairs... That, and because I’m trying to carry a freaking heavy package on my back. I took a deep breath, then crept my way down the stairs. Granted, I was panting heavily, but I did it! Is it sad that I was proud of myself? Yes I wasn’t asking you. Shut up. “Mmm, Rarity? Why’s m’ bed moving?” Sweetie Belle mumbled from my back, still not entirely awake, I suppose. “Because, apparently, Fluffy decided to be a gentlecolt and carry you down to breakfast.” Rarity set three plates of food on the table, smiling as she levitated Sweetie Belle from my back. “Now what should you say, Sweetie?” Sweetie Belle yawned widely, pawing at her eyes as she woke up. “What?” I saw a kitchen sink, and my thoughts went out the window. See, I wouldn’t consider myself truly OCD, or a germaphobe, because I do stuff that gets me dirty, and I can ignore washing my hands when I need to, but I do enjoy washing my hands. Then again, I like the cold period, so that’s probably why I like to wash my hands. I use cold water. So I’m washing my front paws calmly, right? Luckily, since ponies are in the same position as I am by being quadruped, the sink was designed to allow ponies to lean forward in such a way that they can calmly wash their forehooves. (Found out the plural of hoofs yesterday was hooves. The more you know!) So I’m washing my paws, and I get a song stuck in my head. You know the one. So I start to bounce along absently, my head going one way while my hips swayed the other. No, I don’t know why I do, I just... do it. It’s habit, okay? Music is life! The rest is just details. I was in band all throughout middle and high school, so I was fairly conditioned. “It’s so hypnotic...” “... It’s cute.” I blinked, confused, turning to look over my shoulder, to see Rarity and Sweetie Belle staring at me, watching as my tail swished back and forth to the beat in my head. I stopped, embarrassed, waiting only a few seconds before they seemed to snap out of it. Rarity, I wasn’t surprised, composed herself with a cough, turning to the fridge to get some apple juice. Sweetie Belle, on the other paw, had, from where I don’t know, pulled out a brush, and was stalking me, murmuring, “Brushie brushie brushie brushie...” “Er... S-Sweetie?” Yeah, I forget obvious stuff when I’m nervous, like her not being able to understand me. *squee* As Sweetie started brushing my tail, I swear I could see little hearts emanating from her, but the... squeak, or whatever that sound was, hadn’t come from her. I glanced to the side, just in time to be blinded by a flash of light. “Oh, that was simply marvelous! Now look this way, Darling, and show some more pizzaz! We need that attitude that says, ‘I am being brushed like a pet, but I do not care!’” Well, that answers that. Apparently, Rarity was taking pictures. Act indifferent? Psh, girl, I can do that in my sleep! Covering my mouth with a paw, I decided to investigate, seeing as how there hadn’t been much time for it yesterday. For a kitchen and dining room, it was generously spacious. For a civilization that seems to be medieval in culture, I was impressed with the technology they had. I mean, they had refrigerators, microwaves, electric ovens... Maybe it’s sad that it impressed me, but I saw opportunity. With modern equipment, I can still cook! Score! … What?! Guys can cook too, ya know! I’ve been cooking since early middle school, and I got really good! Well, okay, it’s not like I’m making my own recipes, but I can cook great food following recipes and tweaking them here and there! I’m quarter Italian and quarter German, so yeah, I know some good food! What’s the most scary recipe I know? I’m not sure you’re ready for that kind of information. It’ll make a lot of you shudder, and maybe even want to run from the room, kicking and screaming and fainting in horror! You might not tell them, but I sure will! It’s Brussel Sprouts! … Yes, thank you, Brian, for completely and utterly ruining any sort of build up I had for that. Thanks. So yeah, I know how to make brussel sprouts actually taste good. Heresy, I know, but it’s true! So yeah, I was looking forward to cooking! I love to cook! I just... don’t like cleaning up the mess I make whilst cooking... Oh! Food, right! I turned to the table, my stomach reminding me that I was starfished. Ignoring Sweetie Belle’s protests about needing brushies, I walked to the table eagerly for food, blinking in shock when I saw what was being served. Eggs? I mean, I was pretty sure that ponies didn’t eat meat, but really? Aren’t eggs meat? How can they eat it? I mean, toast and jam? Yeah, that makes sense, mostly, but what’s with the apple juice? Now, don’t get me wrong. Apple juice, aside from possibly milk, is my favourite drink of all time. I wasn’t protesting that so much as confused as to why orange juice wasn’t on the table instead, as that’s the more ‘breakfasty’ drink. My stomach grumbling loudly reminded me that I was hungry, so I sat down at the place that looked most likely to be the guest’s spot, but was instantly shooed away by Rarity, who placed me next to it instead. Now, I was pretty confused. See, two of the plates were made of fine china, and were, from my best guess, handmade. (Hoofmade, excuse me. Darn pony lingo is harder to learn than I thought.) The detail on the plates and glasses were extraordinary, and if there hadn’t been food in the way, I would have been tempted to lean in just to see if I could smell the flowers, or feel the vines around the edge of the plate. Sweetie Belle quickly took her place where I had been sitting, and it didn’t take more than a few minutes to find out why Sweetie Belle was the one who got a paper plate and cup. Her uh, ability with Psychic was, shall we say, somewhat lacking in control... That also explained why Rarity made nearly twice the amount of food truly needed, for when Sweetie Belle spilled food, or exploded it, or... Look, there are just some things that don’t warrant explanation. It just... No. Dang, Rarity knows how to cook! She has to be as good as I am! Boastful? Who, me? Look, I was slash am fat, okay? I don’t have many skills, but the few I have I am damn proud of, okay? I can cook, I can clean, and I can do math and music and grammar. That’s about it. Rarity glanced at the clock, her eyes widening as she turned to Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie, Darling, you need to be getting ready for school soon. Scootaloo is going to be here shortly, and you still have to figure out what you’re taking for show and tell!” “O-oh, right,” Sweetie Belle said, her head drooping as her ears wilted. “B-but what am I supposed to bring? I don’t have anything special, and I don’t have a special talent to show off yet, and, and-” Show and tell? What, like having a big, fluffy, orange dog that is as sentient and intelligent as you ponies are doesn’t constitute for a good show and tell thing? Shows what I know! I would have thought it would be perfect for show and tell. Shrugging, I placed my empty glass on top of my plate, then carried it gingerly to the sink in my mouth. I had to set it on the counter instead of in the sink, but it didn’t take long to fill the sink with hot, soapy water. Also, good to know that here in Equestria, they have similar products compared to back home, so it was a lovely lemon scent. I happen to be a sucker for anything lemon scented, so that was nice. At first glance, I didn’t notice any wash rags, but then I looked closer at my paw pad. I mean, it looked soft, yet still kind of tough, so that should work as a substitute if it’s clean, right? Didn’t take long for me to test it, and sure enough, it worked! I was a little surprised that the water didn’t seem that hot, but I guess I am a fire type, so hot water shouldn’t- … Huh... Now there’s a thought. Why didn’t the baths that I’ve taken so far hurt me? They were water, so even when they got cold, it didn’t bother me... Was it because it wasn’t rushing at me with force, and it’s the force that more hurts fire types? Why do fire types tolerate baths? What if a fire-type liked water? Would it still suffer from the double damage, or was that just a game mechanic to add some strategy to the game? I’m going to have to- My thought process halted as I reached out for the next dish, only to find nothing there. I glanced to the side, but saw nothing aside from Rarity, who was gaping at me for some strange reason. I looked to the other side, wondering what I had forgotten, but there was nothing aside from dishes neatly stacked and waiting to be put away. Confused, I quirked an eyebrow at Rarity, though it quickly faltered as she glared at me. I swear I could feel the ground shake slightly as she got closer, and I’m not sure if I was conscious of it or not at the time, but I’m fairly certain that my ears were flat against my skull as I wilted away from her wrath. Wild stab in the dark here... That china needed to be washed in a careful, special way, and I just totally ruined them. Whelp, been nice knowin ya, Brian. Same to you, nerd. Git. Dork Boys, boys, you’re both morons! Can I go home now? ... No, you can’t. You’re stuck here for the rest of your life, Crystal, so sorry. I friggin swear, I’m kicking your ass when this chapter is done... ... And that’s different from any other chapter... how? ... Just shut up and finish the damn chapter. “No! No! Bad Fluffy!” Rarity chided, using a small towel to whack me while I tried to block it with one of my forelegs. “You do not do dishes while in my house! Guests don’t do chores! Bad!” I stopped cowering as I stared at her in amazement. Seriously? That was why she was upset with me? I... that... What?! I’m not a mindless pet, Rarity. I just... happen to be an alien trapped in yet another alien body and am currently unable to communicate with you effectively. That’s all. “I can’t believe I didn’t think about that! Fluffy! You have to be my thing for show and tell! Please please pleaaaaaase!” Don’t look, Fluffy! It’s a tarp! But... but she... But I... I have to look! She’s begging me! I... The cuteness is calling to me! There’s no way I stood a chance, but then again, I didn’t really expect to stand a chance. But you know what? That’s alright. Time to see what Equestria’s school system is like. Should be fun... “Oh, Fluffy, wait a second, would you Darling?” I heard Rarity call after us. Dammit. I knew we should have moved quicker! Stupid short filly legs! Move faster! “I have a gift for you!” I turned around, curious, when she attached a collar. Yeah, that caught me off guard. At least it’s purple. Dude, seriously? You’re getting a pet collar. How can you be okay with that?! Be... cause it’s purple? Yeah, okay, so I’m easily satisfied. Give me a break, okay? I like the color purple! It’s the color of royalty! Besides, if you look at it another way, I can’t really wear clothes, so it’s not like there are a lot of accessory options... to choose... Hmm... Okay, I am going to figure out some good accessories, and I will figure out how to convey to her what they are, and why I need them. In the meantime... “Sweetie, come on, we’re gonna be late!” Applebloom shouted from a red wagon. Wait, a red wagon? As I looked out the front door, I was surprised, though I suppose I shouldn’t have been, what with how crazy these ponies are. Scootaloo was on a, you guessed it, scooter, and attached behind it with what appeared to be a jump rope, was a red wagon. Well... I mean, I guess if it works, that is a fast way to get around, but I’m not so sure that’s safe. “Come on, Fluffy, we’re gonna be late!” Sweetie Belle said from the back of the wagon as Scootaloo began to propel the crusaders forward. Oh crap! I can’t be late for my first day of school! ... You realize you graduated from high school, like, three years ago, right? You’re a college student, and most of the professors don’t seem to give a damn if you’re late, so why are you freaking out? Um, duh? Because I’m representing Sweetie Belle! If I’m late, then she looks bad! Come on, Brian, get your head in the game! Scootaloo had a decent head start on me, but I did have the advantage in that she had to get up to speed, whereas I could start running full tilt right off the bat. I almost did, until I remembered that I had no clue where their school was, and thus needed to follow, not lead. It was certainly... interesting, to say the least. Scootaloo seemed intent on taking every shortcut she could think of, every jump she could make from a ramp, intentional or not. Obviously her special talent will have something to do with extreme sports, or moving. Damn... Must be nice, having one thing that you’re amazing at, and you know what you’re amazing at... Not having to stumble around for long, knowing where you’ll fit in society, get special training just for that... “Wow! Fluffy, I didn’t know you could run so fast that you make silver smoke! That’s so cool!” I slid to a halt, wincing slightly at the pressure that put on my paw pads, but it swiftly faded. Glancing to Scootaloo, I quirked an eyebrow, having no clue what she meant. A silver streak? I mean, in the show, Quick Attack sometimes had a silvery-white afterimage thing followed the Pokemon, but we weren’t going that fast! I opened my mouth, but a bell started to ring, causing the fillies to freak out. While Scootaloo and Applebloom rushed into an old-fashioned red schoolhouse, Sweetie Belle rushed to me, hugging me before bopping me on the head, scolding, “Now behave yourself! Don’t go burning down any more clubhouses, or... umm... Any other bad things, okay?” I rolled my eyes, but I nodded, nuzzling her just a touch to reassure her. It was fairly clear that between her and her two friends, they got into a lot of trouble, so I could humor her if it would put at least one worry to rest about her getting in trouble. As she ducked inside, I started looking around, but froze in excitement when I laid eyes on one of the most awesome, wonderful things that could ever possibly exist about elementary schools. A playground... Brah... she said- ’Not to get in trouble’. She didn’t say “Don’t move”, or “Stay here”, or... Whatever! It’s a playground! True... Alright, but you better pay attention, brah! Don’t want to be late for Show and Tell! Look, I realise that it might have been... juvenile, but... Okay, what the hell am I saying? Any one of you would leap at the chance to play on a playground that’s the right size for you again! I was only, like, twenty or thirty percent bigger than they were, so everything was still big enough for me to play on. The only question was, what to play on first... .o.O.o. “... And so, that’s the reason why the chicken crossed the road. Any questions, class?” Miss Cheerilee smiled at the class, practically skipping as she pranced back to her desk. As a filly she had found history dull, but now that she was a teacher herself, she prided herself on finding ways to make stories more exciting, and get the foals to interact with her. To her surprise, all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders had their hooves raised, and were being strangely well-behaved. “Yes, Applebloom?” “Do ya know any legends ‘bout Pokemon?” As the class burst into laughter, Cheerilee noticed that Applebloom didn’t wilt in her chair like she normally would when the class laughed at her or her friends, but rather sat up straight, strangely attentive. “What, going to try to get your cutie marks in being crazy like Screwloose?” Diamond Tiara said, her sides shaking. “Wow, you blank flanks must be desperate!” “Miss Wind isn’t crazy,” Sweetie Belle protested, narrowing her eyes at the pale magenta earth pony. “Pokemon do too exist! Princess Luna-” “How didst thou know We were here? We only just arrived,” Princess Luna frowned, poking her head inside the door. “P-p-princess Luna!” Cheerilee stammered, bowing quickly. “Wh-what a surprise! To what-” “We wished to obtain permission to make use of thine exercising equipment for Kaye and Moonstone,” Luna said. “Twilight said that thou had several of which would help test one’s dexterity and strength. Particularly something called a ‘jungle gym’.” “You... want permission to use the playground?” Cheerilee asked, quirking an eyebrow. “I can’t say no, though I do ask that you allow the children to have access during their recess.” “That is acceptable.” Luna nodded and turned to leave, when Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Umm, Princess Luna? If you see Fluffy, could you tell him to come inside, please? It’s almost time for show and tell! Thanks! Tell Kaye I said hi!” Several of her classmates began to talk quietly to each other, all asking the same question, when a white blur came tumbling past Luna, landing in a heap just next to Cheerilee, who managed to choke down a startled scream, not wanting her students to start panicking. “Breon...” Cheerilee never stood a chance.