A/N: Okay so I had three ideas for chapter 2 but I couldn't make any of them chapter length. So here's three short stories about Jake's first day in Equestria. The first person to tell me the reference in the chapter title gets a sneak peak of the next one. Enjoy!
I spotted my soon to be new home of Ponyville in the distance. Starting to walk I enjoy the beautiful scenery as techni-colored rabbits and squirrels run by. Stopping to smell the roses (What? You need to do that at times) I am suddenly sent flying 6 yards (screw you non-Americans!) into a tree. Standing up and looking myself over I am uninjured. Wait, am I still dead?
"That's fucking awe-!" I get launched back in the tree. I turn to see a rainbow blur launch at me as I grab a large limb off of the tree and hit the incoming object over the head. Instantly a familiar figure lands on the ground. "HOLY SHIT! I KILLED RAINBOW DASH!"
Jumping down and checking her vitals I realize that she is just out cold. Finding her to be incredibly light and assuming she has bird bones, I flip her over my shoulder and start jogging to Ponyville for help. Stopping to catch my breath I wonder why Discord put me so damn far away from town.
I suddenly hear the sound of galloping and I turn to see the rest of the mane six charging at me. Applejack gives me a good buck and I go three times the distance Dash and sent me. "CAN'T I GO FIVE BUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT SOMEBODY RANDOMLY ATTACKING ME!?!"
The question seemed to have baffled them. "You mean you didn't attack our friend?" asked Twilight. "No I did not, she attacked me out of nowhere and I knocked her out in self defense. I was carrying her to town for medical attention when YOU randomly attacked me." I snipped. Rainbow then regained consciousness.
"Dash what happened?" asked Applejack. "I was flying to you girls when I saw this thing coming from the direction of the Everfree Forest towards town. I figured it was a sort of monster and attacked it, then it knocked me out!" She explained. "Of course I knocked you out you randomly attacked an innocent man!" They all began to look a little guilty at this point.
"Well I reckin' you are a bit odd lookin' sugarcube," said Applejack. "Oh and that gives you the right to be cruel to me? Didn't your mothers ever tell you not to judge a book by it's cover?" I then grabbed my guitar and began to sing.
"If they only knew
How I felt inside
Maybe they'd understand
If they only knew
What I could do
Maybe they'd understand
Just give me a chance
and I'll prove it to you
There's so much I can do
Don't judge this book by its cover
I just look different than you
We've all got our talents
They're not all the same
I wish they'd understand
If they'd look past this cover
my story'd begin
Maybe they'd understand
Just give me a chance
and I'll prove it to you
There's so much I can do
Don't judge this book by its cover
I just look different than you
It's not the clothes I wear
Or the color of my hair
I've got the will and I've got the heart
I just wish someone would care
Just give me a chance
and I'll prove it to you
There's so much I can do
Don't judge this book by its cover
I just look different than you"
"We're sorry," said Twilight, "We never meant to be rude right Dash?" "Yeah, sure," she said. "But, what are you?" asked Rarity. "Well I'll tell you in a minute."
"Why not now?" asked Twilight. "Because he's going to do it conveniently between the first and second part of the chapter leaving out Discord so we don't panic, so that the author can be lazy and leave out that conversation," blurted Pinkie Pie. "...........What?" asked everyone simultaneously.
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OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY
"So I'm going to need a place to stay while I'm in Ponyville, any suggestions?" "You can stay here with me in the guest room at the library," offered Twilight. I saw that one coming. "Thank you, now I need to get some new duds as my current clothes are ripped to shreds. To bad too, I liked that Green Day shirt." "Well I would gladly make you some 'duds' darling," offered Rarity.
I pull out my wallet and find that my money had all been turned into bits, thank you Discord. "How much does an outfit cost Rarity? And I demand to pay full price." "Fifty bits darling," she replied. Dang I only have twenty bits. Wait a second...twenty bits...magic guitar...songs...cheap clothes...URIKA!
"Ooh I can't afford that, is there a thrift shop nearby?" "There's a Goodwill by Vinyl Scratch's club," said Pinkie, "but I doubt they have anything for humans." "Don't worry I have a plan. Can somebody show me the way to the Goodwill?" "I will," said Spike, who I had met briefly before. As we approached the building I pulled out my guitar and headed for the club.
"Stonesboro, can we go thrift shopping?" asked Spike.
"What what what what
what what what what
what what what what
what what what what
what what what what
what what what what
what what what what.
Oh! Oh!
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty bits in my pocket
I-I-I'm huntin'
Lookin for a come up
This is fucking awesome"
I barged into the club attracting many stares.
"Now, walk into the club like, "what up I got a big cock"
I'm so pumped I bought some shit from a thrift shop
Ice in the fridge is so damn frosty
The people like"
A stallion at the bar goes, "Damn, that's a cold ass hockey!"
"Rollin' in hella deep, headed to the mezzanine
Dressed in all pink, 'cept my gator shoes those are green
Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin' next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly's sheets"
Now in the thrift shop Spike rolls by in a grocery cart, "Pissssssssss"
"But shit it was ninety nine cents (bag it)
Bout to go and get some compliments passin' off on those moccasins
Someone else has been walkin' in but me and grungie fuck 'em in
I am stuntin' and flossin' and
Savin my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain, bitch
I'mma take your grandpa's style, I'mma take your grandpa's style,
No for real ask your grandpa can I have his hand-me-downs (Thank you)
Velour jump suit and some house slippers
Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin'
They had a broken keyboard I bought a broken keyboard
I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard
Hello, hello, my ace man my mello
John Wayne ain't got nothin' on my fringe game
Hell no
I can take some pro wings, make 'em cool, sell those
The sneaker heads will be like"
Random Goodwill shopper, "Ahhh he got the velcro"
"Only got twenty bits in my pocket
I-I-I'm huntin'
Lookin' for a come up
This is fucking awesome
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got bits dollars in my pocket
I-I-I'm huntin'
Lookin' for a come up
This is fucking awesome
Whatcha know bout rockin' a wolf on your noggin
Whatcha knowin about wearin' a fur fox skin
I'm diggin', I'm diggin', I'm searching right through that luggage
One mans trash that's another mans come up
Thank your grand dad for donating that plaid button
Up shirt cause right now I'm up in her skirt
I'm at the Goodwill you can find me in the (Uptons)
I'm not, I'm not stuck on searching in that section (Uptons)
Your Grammy, your auntie, your momma, you mammy
I'll take those flannel zebra jammies secondhand and rock that mothafucka
The built a onesie with the socks on the mothafucka
I hit the party and they stopped in that mothafucka
They be like "oh that's gucci that's hella tight"
I'm like "Yo! That's fifty dollars for a t-shirt"
Limited edition, let's do some simple addition
Fifty dollars for a t-shirt that's just some ignorant bitch (sheeeeit)
I call that getting swindled and pimped (sheeeeit)
I call that getting tricked by a business
That shirt's hella dough
And havin the same one as six other people in this club is a hella don't
Peep game come take a look through my telescope
Tryin'a get girls with my brand man you hella won't
Man you hella won't"
Spike says "Goodwill... Poppin' Tags... Yeah!"
"I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty bits in my pocket
I-I-I'm huntin'
Lookin' for a come up
This is fucking awesome
I'll wear your granddads clothes,
I look incredible
I'm in this big ass coat
From the thrift shop down the road
I wear your granddads clothes,
I look incredible
I'm in this big ass coat
From the thrift shop down the road
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty bits in my pocket
I-I-I'm huntin'
Lookin' for a come up
This is fucking awesome
Hahaha"
Spike asks "Is that your grandma's coat?"
"...................What the hell just happened?" asked Spike. "I used a magical instrument to get several assorted items, a shitload of clothes and a DeLorean for twenty bits, that's what happened." "I...I think having you around will be interesting," replied Spike.
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"Well this is a problem." I just entered Twilight's guest room to find a 4.5ft long bed. I'm 5 ft. 11in. tall. "Oh my gosh I forgot how tall you are. I'll go find a spell to make it bigger," Twilight exclaimed. "That's what she said," snickered Spike followed by a groan of pain as I smack him in the back of the head.
Three hours and one ice cream eating contest with Spike later (he beat me by two gallons) Twi had come up with nothing. "You know Twi, can I call you Twi? I'm going to call you Twi. Anyway you know Twi, I've been thinking about it and I have an idea. Go move the bed into that magical never ending storage room you showed me and I'm going to go get Fluttershy."
"What?" she asked confused. "Just trust me and Spike don't go to sleep your going to want to see this." The trip to Fluttershy's cottage was short and quiet. Knocking on the door I hear a small squeak and a few moments later the timid yellow mare opens the door.
"Oh, hey Jake," she murmured. "Hey Fluttershy are you busy?" "No not really did you need something?" "I was wondering if you would accompany me to the library as I have a surprise I believe you will enjoy." "Oh, okay." As we were walking back I began remembering, and Fluttershy reminds me of her so much.
"You know Fluttershy I knew somebody a lot like you back home." "You did?" "Yeah timid, shy and I learned something from her. Those people who are like that usually think they're not as good as others, yet at the same time those people are usually the kindest and the most perfect of all. The same goes for you Fluttershy."
She smiles and blushes a little after I say that. When we arrive at the library Twi had done as I asked. We all go in my room and I close the door. "Spike will you open the window?" He flicks his tail at it knocking it open. I pick up my ax from where I left it in the corner.
"You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare"
At this point ten million fireflies (it was crowded) appeared out of know where and Fluttershy flipped and started playing with them. Twilight gawked in disbelief and Spike just smirked at there reactions.
"I'd like to make myself believe
That Equestria turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread
I'd like to make myself believe
That Equestria turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep
Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar
I'd like to make myself believe
That Equestria turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep
I'd like to make myself believe
That Equestria turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep
I'd like to make myself believe
That Equestria turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams"
"Wow," exclaimed Twilight as she left the room to gather her thoughts. Spike shut the window as the last firefly left and went upstairs immediately followed by snoring. "That was amazing!" Fluttershy exclaimed in a soft yelp. "Thank you, and now I have a bed and a disco ball." "Speaking of bed..." Fluttershy looked away and blushed. "What Flutters?" "Well, it's really late and I don't want to walk home, can I sleep with you?"
I smiled at her. "Of course you can, I'll get in and you get howevers comfortable." I crawled in the side, giving her plenty of room to sleep. She crawls in and nestles right up against me. I hear the faint breathing of her sleeping and I smile with tears in my eyes. It may be my fault that Rachel is dead, but I have a new sister in Fluttershy. And as long as I'm around, no one will harm a hair in her mane.