//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Back to the Beginning // Story: Life through Love // by SentientHydra //------------------------------// By this point in my little story, a mere two or three days after entering Equestria, I welcomed death; I felt it was the only way to make the pain, the darkness, the numbness below my waist fade away. It was a morbid thought, but I was in a dark, deep place within my own psyche, vaguely aware of my body being abused further, then dragged along the ground to some unknown place. The flashes of vision that swept through before I sank deeper into the dark were uninteresting, trees crawling past at a snail's pace. In the darkness of my near-death I dreamed. I dreamed of music. Beautiful, alien, indescribable music that sang from somewhere beyond my conscious mind's reach; so soft I could barely hear it. The Music comforted me for a while. In the dark. A while I spent exploring the reaches of my mind, investigating the memories left behind by It's old owner. used forms, languages and techniques. It was all there, but not all accessible behind barriers of time, fractured thought that would heal soon, not now. It was interesting, the secrets these traded memories held, little footnotes and pointers about how to portray, deceive and extort notable figures of equestrian society. Like a cheat-sheet on how to fit into and exploit this world where I didn't truly belong. I felt conflicted, in those moments or minutes, just looking at the neat parcels of worldly information, laid out before my mind's eye like files on a computer, or entries on a database. My inner fanboy squee'd a little, I'll admit. Twilight Sparkle, I thought, and searched my memories for information, finding no less that a torrent returning. The filly made waves, that was clear, waves that this body's old mind definitely noted. There was a plethora of information on her home, habits, preferences, nearby changelings and their most recent reports. Up until the last entry... only 5 days before the return of Discord... I floated in the bleak darkness for a while, just processing what I found as I poked around, digesting the vast reams of data I had inherited, contemplated what I must have left behind in My old body. Quite a lot, I couldn't remember thinking it normal to say hands not hooves, I couldn't remember the name of my boss, or my work.. or what money really looked like besides vague images. I had the shape of my old personality, but not the details save a few essentials like my love of the show, and my closest and most loved; those were left there like a parting gift, most likely to keep me sane. I decided to leave it there, just as I finished learning about what I was, and my old swarm. I could pull up information about almost anyone of note in Canterlot, and anyone at all in Ponyville and surrounding settlements, as and when it was needed. In my mind's eye I could feel myself floating back into the waking world. Consciousness came suddenly, like flicking on a light, I didn't have to adjust to the sudden light, I simply woke up, becoming aware instantly that I was alone in a stone-walled cell, empty but for a clean straw bed, a bright light-bulb on either side and a wide array of medical monitors, steadily beating in time with my own heart beat For a long while I simply lay there in the dark, my mind running through checklist; Got my head? Check. Heart still beating? Check. Got ears, eyes, nose? Ankles, knees and hooves? Check, I had to count my blessings there, because when I twitched -with some effort- my back leg I heard the familiar clinking of a chain, felt the all-too recognizable weight of a metal cuff around my shank. I was a prisoner once again. This time however, I imagined that there would be no silver lining, and no Silver Lining to show me if there was one to be found. I was bandaged at least. Clean professional gauze and waterproofing wrapped around my midsection and a few legs, it did nothing to soothe the ache, but I appreciated the thought in a vague, fuzzy way. It wasn't the worst cell I've heard of, or been in. But one of the quietest, aside from the beeping machines there was not a sound to be heard that I didn't make myself, a phenomenon that was disconcerting to say the least, my new species had apparently fantastic hearing, so such total silence was disturbing in a faintly new way. I lay there a while, dreaming a little dream, of Silver Linings on dark clouds. I couldn't move without pain or significant effort, so I felt it best to wait. There was no clock or windows, so I didn't know when or where I was, it was only by the beeping machines that the passage of time was at all apparent. An hour crawled by on the bed before I heard something different. The door in the wall clicked, thunked and creaked it's way open, to reveal twin figures of doom. Twilight Sparkle stood in the doorway, with a familiar pink haired nurse(1) directly at her flank. I barely remembered to keep still, maintain a constant breathing rate. "He doesn't Look awake Ms Sparkle... He was lying like that the last time I checked him." The Nurse stated, pushing past and making an unhurried beeline for the machines by the bed. Twilight Made her own path to my bedside, her gaze cool and unflappable on the surface, but I could see the tell-tale twinges of anger in the corners of her mouth "It's faking, my monitoring spells say it's awake." the unicorn said tersely, adding on "It's good at lying". It struck me then that I couldn't sense her emotions. When I tried to focus on her 'Aura', or the nurse's, I drew a blank... I tried again, then harder. I remember the sensation flowing through my horn, so I focused there. The Nurse Hummed thoughtfully as she checked the machines, then examined me with her own critical eye "Well.. awake or asleep I need to check up on those breaks in his chitin." Twilight stalked round to my head, lowering her head to glare at my eyes. I was too busy to notice, trying to force my horn into activity. I wanted to spark it, to flare it. to just know it's okay. pressure built in my forehead behind the spur, and a burning smell found it's way to my nose. Sparkle noticed, because her eyes snapped to the horn, and a frown crossed her eyes. "Not going to work, thing. your horn's damaged, and there's an inhibitor to stop anything getting to the tip. Wew only saved your life-" "Barely, judging by this mess of a spinal injury" the Nurse behind me noted, forcing me to hiss as she changed a dressing. "-Because Luna finds you interesting. She talked to Fluttershy in her sleep, and was convinced that you had more to tell us alive than you did dead." The librarian continued, a cold note in her eyes "I'm only in this because Luna, asked me to take part on Fluttershy's behalf. I'm never going to forgive you for hurting my friends, so I'm glad Celestia's only giving me three months." Despite the state of calm my changeling mind forced, I couldn't suppress a shiver at her tone. She turned and left without another word. Leaving the nurse to finish her ministrations, which took only five minutes as dressings were changed, a few ointments applied and samples taken. Then she paused. Her face blank but for a curl of hesitation at the corner of her mouth. "I don't agree with her.. 'Changeling', or whatever you're named; I've seen Fluttershy in her ward..." Her voice carried concern, along with a sweetly familiar, energizing scent. "I'm angry about her being hurt, You truly did a number on the poor dear, but I'm not sure you deserve..all of this pain... Suffering." She bent down, her face suddenly filled with apologies "I can't let you go, you wouldn't get two steps on those injuries, or past the guards." An encouraging Nuzzle later the pink haired nurse turned for the door. "Just know that you're safe here for now, and you have one friend at least." The door clicked shut, the sweet scent in the air feeding the flame of my magic. (1)= 'Nurse Redheart, Female Earthpony, no known partners, no known children. Two sisters, one (Goldheart, unicorn) estranged, other (Blueheart) Friend and colleage. Long work shifts, hobbies include amatuer painting and singing, semiprofessional dancing. Infiltrated via romantic relation 2 years ago, found to enjoy outdoor walks/picnic food. Finds Off-key singing most irritating