//------------------------------//
// 38 - Tears 
// Story: Bullets of Fire 
// by BlackWater 
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Spitfire felt dead inside and she was not the only one. The other four members of her Bullet-performing team were present with her at the hospital - an altogether too familiar sight. They were just one room over from where Wave Chill had been hospitalized. What the captain had feared had become a reality. The Wonderbolts were experiencing a streak of dire luck.
High Winds and Lightening Streak had just entered the room, thus further stressing the hospital staff. Due to the rushed nature that Surprise had been delivered to the premises, there was already a pack of ponies trying to get through the building. Reporters trying to get the latest scoop. They had been kept back so far only by Spitfire's fury, as the mare was deeply worried about her friend and had no patience for sensation-magazine journalists.
There was no cheer in the pale white room with each of their faces being painted with a dour expression. Misty was still in shock over the matter and Silver Lining had his head lowered. Inside, he blamed himself for not catching the wingmare as she had spiraled past him. Even if it really had been impossible for him to do it, he still felt horrible about it.
Fire Streak was feeling useless in one of the room's corners and Soarin' looked outright angry. Perhaps it was because of what the doctor had said after he had finished treating the broken pegasi. "She'll never be the same" had been his words. It was a phrase that no pegasi ever wanted to hear and Soarin' was angry at himself because, deep down, he felt like he had let it happen.
As for Spitfire, she still felt dead. That hadn't changed and she felt like it never would.
"I'm sorry," Spitfire whispered to the unconscious mare on the hospital bed. Tears were falling from the captain's face even though she didn't feel them and Surprise couldn't see them. "I should never have brought you in on this stupid stunt. I shouldn't have even done it myself."
Surprise was in no condition to hear or respond and her closed eyes seemed to be shut in pain. Spitfire couldn't bear to imagine what torment that the girl was enduring. She had hit the ground too hard and at an insane speed. It was a miracle that she had managed to use her stunt training quick enough to roll into the dive. If she hadn't done that then she would have lost more than her ability to perform. She would have lost her very life.
Fire Streak, fed up with the dark cloud that was the entire room, quietly came up to Soarin's side and asked as softly as he could, "Do we know why she spun out like that?"
Soarin' glanced to the stallion beside him to respond but seemed to glare menacingly instead. 
"There's no way to know. It's not like we can keep tabs on each other when we're going that fast," he replied in a low voice. "If anypony knows then it would be Surprise. I'm just hoping she didn't lose her memory. I've seen some pretty messed up stuff happen to ponies who failed a big stunt."
Fire Streak shrunk back at that. He always knew that being a Wonderbolt was dangerous and he knew that the Bullet was even more so. But contemplating an accident and actually seeing one were too different things. He was a little afraid and Wonderbolts were never supposed to be afraid.
It was Silver Lining who spoke after another five painful minutes had past.
"We should go now. We can't do anything more for her and she needs room to breath."
It was true but none of them felt any better for it. They left Surprise's bedside in just as much melancholy as a funeral. Life would go on - even for Surprise - but it would never be the same as it had been before and the change was not for the better. Spitfire left last but, before she did, she lifted a forehoof to gently stroke Surprise's mane.
"I'm sorry."









The dark cloud never really lifted for the rest of the day. Spitfire cancelled all scheduled activity and went back to her room to fix the long-term team planner. It was when she opened the booklet to the current month that she finally broke down entirely. The tears wouldn't stop and, though she didn't think of it then, she was grateful that she was alone in the room. She was nothing of the strong captain that most knew her as.
It was the scheduled events that had struck a cord. The Bullet premier that she would have performed with the wingmare. But, even more, all of the crossed-out days in the planner that were spent training with the white pegasus. The doctor's lecture echoed again as if to emphasize it. The moment when the medicinal pony took her aside to explain everything would be forever burned in her memory.
"She'll never perform again and I mean it, Spitfire. You have to take her off the team. I don't want to see her back in here when she tries to perform again. Wings are like joints. They never heal back to their original state when they take significant damage. A minor break will heal fine but Surprise broke everything to protect her vital points. I'm glad you trained her properly but we're still going to have to do major surgery. We'll try for prosthetics but I can't guarantee anything. Some pegasi just don't adapt and their bodies atrophy the wings against proper exercise and therapy. She might never fly again."
Spitfire had been too flippant about the risk that came with the Bullet and now she was paying the cost. In an instant, the immense sadness turned to anger. It was anger against Celestia for tempting her with the stunt but it was mostly anger against herself. She couldn't forgive herself for what had happened and she knew Celestia was not responsible. The orange mare just wanted a scapegoat so that she could run away from the weight of responsibility that she was feeling as both captain and as Surprise's close friend.
Before she could even consider continuing with the rest of the team to perform the incredible stunt, she would have to find out what happened to Surprise. The mare had become as strong as her over the course of their training and she couldn't believe it was matter of physical stress. All she could do was hope that Surprise would awake soon. It was heart-wrenching to imagine her best friend stuck in a coma.









She knew the injured pegasus needed room but Spitfire couldn't help the urge to visit again in the same day. It had been at least six hours and, even though the sun was setting, visiting hours were still open. She had some time left before the nurses would shoo her out.
As she walked into the place of general injury and hopeful healing, she noticed the staff ponies giving her odd looks. Probably had something to do with the repetition of hospitalizations. The corridors certainly seemed to carry an eerie cloud. But, then, that could have been a cloud over her and not the halls. Surprise's room came up and nopony tried to stop her.
Slowly she entered the room again. In her mind, she walked in to see a smiling Surprise sitting upright on the bed and even jumping off of it to hug her best friend. In reality, she walked in to a dead quiet room with dim lighting. Surprise still laid on the bed and breathed regularly. But she was not conscious and only some of the agony seemed to have worn off her face. Her nose was still slightly scrunched up in pain.
It wasn't until the orange mare got to the the edge of the bed that she realized that she hadn't been breathing and thus had to sigh deeply. What else had she expected? It would have been a miracle for the girl to have a full recovery.
"Remember that time that we talked about what we wanted in life?" Spitfire whispered to the sleeping mare as she leaned over to her. "I guess I've always been running after things I don't really understand."
She didn't even understand what she was saying and that realization made her give a melancholic laugh. 
"Should I keep doing what I've been doing? Even if there were no dangers? I mean...what does it matter what I can pull off wonders if I don't have a life, right?"
Did work count as a life? Or did her work consume her years ago?
"I guess I don't have to have a brush with death to question myself. Just have to have a friend do it for me..."
The whispers were more about herself than Surprise. 
"Maybe I should do something else with my life, huh?"
A hoof brushed her face. A white hoof. It startled Spitfire at first but she soon realized that Surprise must have just moved a bit in her sleep. It was the second white hoof that got her attention even more for this one was nestled in a golden hoof-cup.
"Spitfire," Princess Celestia voiced softly as not to disturb the patient.
Shock, anger, and embarrassment shot through the captain and she didn't know what to say as she got up from Surprise's side.
"I need to talk to you. At the palace," the princess said grimly.
What else could the Wonderbolt do? 
She nodded tersely.









"I'm sorry," were the alicorn's first words when they finally arrived at the palace garden. "I know this sounds foalish of me but I simply did not expect this to happen."
The usual tranquility of the lush green private garden didn't seem to exist anymore. Not with what was going on. Spitfire picked her gaze up from the ground to meet the other mare's eyes, "That's how accidents are, you know?"
"No. It wasn't an accident."
The words hit Spitfire like a train.
"What?" was the only word that could escape her confusion. It had been an accident. It had to be an accident, right?
Celestia had a pained look on her face that said everything that she didn't want to say. So she turned away from the pegasus and took a few steps before starting.
"I placed some magic on your special team. You already figured that much out. But one of the things I did was place magical alerts on each of you. Just in case something happened."
"So you knew when Surprise crashed?" Spitfire interrupted, annoyed that the Princess hadn't shown herself earlier over the matter.
Celestia turned halfway to face the captain and nodded solemnly as she continued, "I thought I had made everything fool-proof but I hadn't considered the possibility of anypony actually trying to get hurt."
No. That wasn't possible. Surprise wouldn't...
"I had Luna enter her mind so I could confirm what happened."
Spitfire didn't want to hear it. She wanted to close her ears and never hear the truth if it meant more pain.
"I just assumed she was okay after you brought her into your confidence. But it seems that only made her attach herself to you more. She was scared of what would happen if you abandoned her," Celestia explained.
"I would never abandon her," the orange pony whimpered in response.
"Dread often replaces reality in the minds of the fearful. Surprise had this planned for a while and managed to keep it to herself. She decided to crash on purpose. If she survived then she was convinced that you'd always take care of her and if she died...she would have died flying at your side."
Spitfire fell to the ground. Everything had been going fine before the crash. Everything had been okay...
And now it felt like her heart had been violently torn from her for the second time in the same day.