The Thirty Minute Dash

by Esle Ynopemos


10: Cooking Daddy [Slice of Life] [Comedy]

((Prompt: Cooking Mama.))

He had a name. It was a cool name, too. It was the kind of name that would make ponies go, 'wow, that's a cool name!' when they heard it. But that was the name that other ponies called him by. Rainbow Dash had a special name that only she got to call him, and it was even cooler than his other name. Rainbow Dash got to call him 'Dad.'

“Where are you going?” Dad asked as he helped Mom pull the straps on her saddlebags.

Mom made that sound she made when she was really tired and ponies were always bothering her. “Sea Breeze needs me again,” she said. “I'm not going to be back till late tonight.”

“Again?” Dad asked. “Honey, how many times is she—”

“Please don't start this,” Mom said. Her eyes looked at Dad pleadingly.

Dad sighed. “You're right. I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault. Say hello to your sister for me.”

Rainbow Dash looked away as the two of them shared a gross mushy moment. There was probably kissing or something!

The door shut, and Dad scooped Rainbow Dash up with his wing. She giggled as he set her on his back. “Looks like it's just you and me for supper tonight, kiddo.”

“Yay, pizza!” Rainbow Dash cheered, throwing her hooves in the air.

Dad gave an offended snort. “No, Dashie, we're going to cook dinner tonight.”

Dash laughed incredulously. “That's silly! Mom's not home, so she can't cook!”

“You know, your mother isn't the only pony in Equestria that knows how to cook,” Dad said, stopping to let Rainbow hop off his back once they were in the kitchen. He blew some dust off of a cookbook.

“Well duh,” Rainbow said. “The ponies at the pizza place have to know how to cook, too!”

Dad smirked at her as he flipped through the pages. “All right, miss smart-aleck, I guess I'm Mom for tonight, then. Can you get me some flour?”

Rainbow shook her head. “We're out of flour.”

“Oh.” Dad creased his brow. “Well, uh, get some rice, then. Starch is starch.”

“Okay!” Ever eager for a chance to use her wings, Rainbow buzzed up to the top shelf of the pantry and grabbed a sack.

Dad took out a knife from the drawer and set it next to a few stalks of celery. “All right. So then, while I dice these vegetables, why don't you crack open some eggs?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow opened the ice box and pulled out a carton of eggs.

A few minutes of slicing and smashing later, the kitchen was quite a mess. Dad frowned at the green mush in front of him. “That's... sort of diced, I guess. How are you coming with those eggs, Dashie?” He turned to look at the counter behind them. “Hmm. Maybe you should have used a bowl, sweetheart.”

Dash looked up from the gooey puddle of egg on the counter. She had a wide grin on her face.

“That's okay,” Dad said. “We'll just scrape it off the counter right into the pan, like so.” He used his wing to push the viscous stuff off of the edge. Most of it ended up in the pan. “Awright,” he said, holding the pan between his teeth. “Now we jus' gotta put it in the oven.”

While dinner—which Dad couldn't decide whether to call casserole or quiche—cooked, the two of them tried to clean the kitchen up a little bit. 'Tried' was the operative word. It didn't take long to devolve into an all-out water fight.

A truce was called once the timer dinged. Dad nearly burned his mouth before Rainbow reminded him to use a hot-pad to pull the pan out. Father and daughter stared at the finished product.

It was greasy, and mostly blackened. There were bits of eggshell scattered throughout the thing, and it smelled like a head of cabbage had been dragged through a forest fire.

Rainbow and Dad glanced at each other. Dad chuckled sheepishly. “So, kiddo, how do you feel about pizza?”