Okay, just let me start by saying that this was not my choice. I didn't ask for this to happen, nor am I happy in any way at how it turned out, but it's an interesting story, and I am being forced to tell it. As you can tell, I suck pretty bad at putting words into sentences that are actually understandable, so it might be hard to read at times. Just grin and bear it, please.
My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I am nopony. Seriously, I have no friends besides Bon Bon, and she is a total loser. I was childhood friends with Princess Twilight, but she doesn't seem to remember I exist. I mean, why would she?
My cutie mark, a lyre, makes no sense. Sure, I look pretty good holding it, but magic is no use on the strings. Hence my once-secret-but-now-widely-known wish to be human.
Shut up. They're real.
Of course, nopony knew that for sure until I proved it. And this is the story of how:
~~~~~
The events of the day began with a pink snout pressed against the glass of my front door. I used my magic to yank on the cord which released the blinds. They fell unevenly, covering the glass haphazardly and leaving a gaping space where the pony could still gaze inside.
"Lyra..." muffled call came through the door, the pony pronouncing it as though it had a thousand letters.
"Lily..." I mimicked, putting down my 'Stallion Beat' magazine and going to the door. I yanked on the cord again, holding the blinds up and staring into the yellow eyes of Lily Valley. She grinned sheepishly, her already pink cheeks growing pinker.
After an exaggerated groan, I opened the door. Lily is one of the 'flower mares,' infamous tormentors of mine. Just because I bottle up most of my feelings, they think it's okay to try their pranks out on me.
The biggest problem is, I always fall for it.
Every.
Bucking.
Time.
Recently, though, this new mare came over from Great Bitton, and she's been keeping them under control. Her name was Roseluck, and we bonded over the ridiculousness of Lily and Daisy.
"What do you want, Lily?" taking my position on the couch and lifting my magazine to cover my eyes.
Lily suppressed a chuckle at the way I sat: like a human, with my plot on the cushion and my back hooves on the floor.
"Well?" I prompted.
Lily inhaled deeply, "So there's this pony out in the Everfree, and there are all these rumors about the magic she can work, and I heard something about transformation and I thought you might want to go," she babbled in one breath.
"Lily?"
"Yeah?" the excitement in her voice told me she thought I would fall for it.
"You really, and I mean really, suck at lying."
"I'm not lying!" she whined, her voice wavering more than a roller coaster.
I held my magazine down so I could peek at her, "Yes, you are," I moved it back up, then waved my hoof at her, "Leave me alone."
She groaned, pushing her way out of the door. Not thirty seconds after, there was an enormous crash in the backyard, the kind that shakes you in your seat, followed by a slew of curses I shouldn't write down.
I put aside all hopes of reading my magazine, tossing it across the room, "Lily!" I screamed, storming towards the back door, "I swear to Celestia, if something is broken out there... if anything is broken out there..."
I kicked open the screen door and-- well, let's just say that i wasn't happy with the state of my backyard.
First of all, it wasn't Lily's fault. There were two ponies out there: a mare and a stallion. he stallion was saying something about how he 'couldn't properly operate the machine with hooves.' His mane, while it must have originally been a dark brown and rather, well, 'inviting,' we'll say, was a bit of a disaster. It was stuck up in the air, and black the ends. His face also looked like it was covered in soot; I think something had blown up in his face.
The mare, however, was someone I recognized immediately: Roseluck.
"Rose?" I asked, wandering over to the wreckage of what looked like a phone booth, or an outhouse.
"Hey, Lyra," Rose murmured, not looking at me, "Are you going to be able to fix this?" she asked the stallion.
"I really don't know," he said, with a distinctly English accent, "Why don't you catch up with.. erm... 'Lyra' here, and I'll get on it."
Rose smiled at me, a fake smile that tried to apologize for the fiasco in the yard, "oh, Celestia. This is going to take some explaining."
~~~~~
"But why does he need us?" I asked.
Rose took a shaky breath, "Um... well... you know what white noise is, right?"
"You mean like the sound a radio makes when it isn't tuned right?"
"Yeah. Well, it turns out if you slow it down, you can pick out specific tones that are--"
"English, please," I interrupted.
"It's possible to hide a message in white noise. And that stallion," She nodded toward the back door, "found this:"
She passed me the piece of paper she had been holding. It was battered and torn, but I could read the message:
One from a city with an unfamiliar name,
One with a prismatic mane,
One who's curiosity
Will this day be the master key.
The next one stands out from the rest,
With masculinity he is blessed.
Next we have the audacious mare,
who insists that she will never be scared.
The last companion, who will give way,
Will be found cooking a souffle.
With these six ponies you must flee,
If you want to restore your history.
I sighed, falling back against the couch, "That is-- that is interesting. And I'm guessing you're one of the ponies on this list?"
"And so are you," she confirmed.
I looked back over the list, "Well, I'm guessing you're the foreign chick, but which one am I?"
She chuckled a bit, "You're the audacious mare. I knew it had to be you as soon as I saw the description. Sorry about the damage, by the way, but I knew we had to come here."
I put my front hooves on my temples, pressing hard. I sighed, trying to process the information-overload of the last few minutes.
"You alright?" Rose asked, putting her foreleg around my shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah. It's just... this is weird."
She scoffed, "Well, that's the understatement of the year."
I laughed. Then I laughed harder. Suddenly, I was doubled over, laughing so hard it hurt, tears streaming down my face. Rose was looking at me like I was spawning extra eyes, and I was trying to say, "He's an alien! From space!" but all that came out was babbling gibberish.
Then, of course, the object of ridicule walked in the door, proclaiming, "The TARDIS is ready for flight!"
Needless to say, we both lost it. The stallion just looked confused, as we both pointed and laughed at him.
"What? What is it, what?!" he kept asking.
Rose calmed herself down enough to say, "I think we're ready to go."
The stallion stared at us for a while longer, then said hesitantly, "Alright, but I don't want any breakdowns like this happening on the TARDIS, got it?"
I nodded, wiping away some tears left on my cheeks, and followed him, "By the way, what should I call you?"
"The Doctor. Just 'The Doctor,' thank you," he replied curtly.
"'The Doctor,' eh? What kind of name is that? Doctor what?"
He stopped, and I almost smacked into him. He looked at me, grinning crazily with joy, "Oh, you'll soon find out."