//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Alula and Diamond Tiara's Adventures in Romance // by Yukito //------------------------------// Eighty-eight. Diamond Tiara really loves this game. Eighty-nine. Don’t get me wrong, I like it too, but… Ninety. She’s like, obsessed with it. And she always makes me ‘it’, whilst she goes and finds somewhere to hide with Silver Spoon. I guess she’s testing our love by making me try to find her, but- … Uh-oh, I lost track of what number I was on. Uh… Somewhere close to a hundred, I’m sure! “Ready or not, here I come!” Alright, let’s check Carousel Boutique first! If she’s not there, then maybe at Sugarcube Corner. Or the comic shop. Maybe if the world’s been flipped upside down, she’ll be at the library. “That’ll be the day,” I laugh to myself as I trot down the street. A pony runs past me, screaming and not really looking at where she’s going. And I then notice… the entire town is in a state of chaos! Ponies are running around everywhere, screaming and barricading their homes, knocking things over in the street, pushing each other out of the way… I knew the Princess was coming today, but for everypony to flip out like this… they must be really unorganized. “Hey Roseluck!” I call out to the flower pony across the street, but she doesn’t seem to hear me, too busy grabbing her flowers on display outside and moving them inside her store. “Guess she’s busy with work. I shouldn’t bother her.” So I continue my happy trot through my happy little town, taking care not to run into anypony on the way. They’re clearly very busy with getting everything ready for the Princess, and I don’t want to slow them down any. I stop as I hear a strange sound, like a bird chirping, and feel something moving in my mane. GAH! W-What is it?! Get it out, get it out! As I flail my hooves about trying to get whatever it is out of my mane, I feel it jump out and see it fly in front of me. It’s… SO CUTE! I have no idea what it is, but it looks totally adorable! It’s like some weird little yellow ball with two big eyes and a pair of insecty wings! Well, that’s actually exactly what it is. I wonder where it came from? Did my mane make it? Oh! Does that make me its mother? “Hi there, little guy!” I reach my hoof out of and it lands on it. So light. So gentle. And so adorable! I wonder if it’s hungry? “Here, I’ve got something for you. I was saving it for later, but I guess you can have it.” I pull a chocolate bar out from my saddlebag and unwrap it for… Hmmm, he needs a name. Well, he’s cute, so how about Diamond Tiara? Nah, that’ll just get complicated. I’ve never seen something like this before, so how about Unown, like the Pokémon? Would that be too sad though? How about- Whoa! He ate that chocolate bar faster than I removed the wrapper! It was like, gone in a single second! I guess he really likes chocolate. Hey, I know! I’ll call him Choco! I can’t wait to show him to Diamond and Silver Spoo- AH! I’m supposed to be out looking for them right now! “Come on, Choco,” I say as I let my new friend take a seat in my mane. “Let’s go show you off to Di! I bet she’ll just love you!” “Isn’t it like, so unfair that we can’t go see the Princess, too?” Silver Spoon lifts up the teapot to offer me more tea, and I push my teacup forward to let her refill it. “I know. If anypony should be allowed to see the Princess, it should be us.” I take the teacup and lift it gracefully towards my lips. Even though I’m a filly, I act with all the elegance and charm of a proper lady. Plus I’m like the richest pony in Ponyville. So why do I have to sit here, whilst some nerdy bookworm librarian lady gets to have tea with the Princess? “You think Alula will find us here?” Silver Spoon asks, looking around the room nervously. Honestly, such a worrywart. “No way. She’ll be like, searching all over Ponyville before she even thinks of looking for us here. I’m telling you, this is going to be a totally Alula-free day.” “You said that the last ten times we tried ditching her this way. She always found you, though.” “Well this time, we’re hiding somewhere she’ll never think to look!” And that’s the truth. She’s hardly ever been to my house before, and I bet she doesn’t even know where it is. She’ll never look for us here, and even if she does, it won’t be until much lat- “Hi guys!” … What? “Found ya!” “She found us, Diamond,” Silver Spoon says, giving me a cocky grin. Shut up, Silver Spoon. “How did you find us?” I have to know her secret, so that I can be better prepared for next time. “I asked Pinkie Pie, and she told me you’d be here. And then she asked me for a flute.” “What?” “I know. She seemed really eager. D’you think she’s starting a band?” “No, not that! How did Pinkie Pie know we were here?” “Oh. I dunno, she just did.” What kind of answer is that? “Anyway, check out what I found earlier. You’re gonna love it!” I doubt that, unless it’s a new tiara, or a wad of cash, or an invitation to the Princess’ tea party- Whoa! “W-What is that?!” Whatever it is, it’s… “Oh my gosh, it’s so cute!” I couldn’t agree more, Silver Spoon! I have to admit… nice job Alula! “And you have one for each of us! But, what are they?” One for each of us. A grey one, a pink one, and a yellow one. “Who cares what they are? They’re adorable! And I bet they don’t eat much, so daddy won’t mind me keeping one!” “That’s odd. I only had one earlier,” Alula says. “I wonder if my mane really is making them?” “Or they’re just attracted to it for some reason,” Silver Spoon says. I catch a strange scent in the air… and I know exactly where it’s coming from. “Alula, when’s the last time you washed your mane?” “Uh, well, two days ago, but I kinda spent all of yesterday working on my high jump.” … You can’t be serious. “Right, you’re taking a shower if you intend to stay.” She sulks. “I hate showers.” Ugh. She can be such a child sometimes. “So what are ya gonna name ‘em? I named this one Choco.” She nuzzles the yellow one, and the pink and grey ones fly over to me and Silver Spoon. “Why ‘Choco’?” Silver Spoon asks. “‘Cause he really likes chocolate.” Oh, so we like the same things. Even better! “I think I’m going to name mine… Dianne, because that’s the name my mum almost gave me.” Seriously? Wow, I guess poor naming sense runs in your family, huh? “I’m gonna name mine… Pink Tiara!” She’s pink, and she’ll soon have a little tiara to go on her head! It’s perfect! “Hey Alula, go grab some fruit from the kitchen.” “Yeah, they look hungry,” Silver Spoon says. Well, they don’t. I actually wanted to eat something myself, but I guess we could feed our new pets, too. “Good thinking! You’re going to love seeing them eat!” Before I can say anything, she runs out of the room and down the stairs. We’re going to love seeing them eat? How entertaining can it be? Sure they’re cute, but I can’t imagine it being any different than watching a rabbit or something eat. Alula returns just as quickly as she left, carrying a bowl of fruit on her back. “Okay, watch this!” She lays the bowl down, and reaches towards one of the apples. But before she can reach it, our three pets eat all the fruit there… in less than a second. “W-Whoa!” “Whoa indeed!” Silver Spoon shouted. “What just happened?” “What’s it doing?” I ask as I point to Pink Tiara, who looks like she’s choking on a piece of food. She coughs something up. Something that’s the same size and shape as her. And then that something grows a pair of wings, and opens its eyes. “Ewwww! Pink Tiara, we’ll have none of that in this house!” “Dianne, stop that!” Silver Spoon shouts as her pet does the same. Alula’s pet also does it, but Alula seems a little less disturbed by it. “Whoa, cool!” That is not cool! That is gross! That is undignified! That is… Why are there so many of them all of a sudden? “Diamond! Open a window, quick!” Good thinking Silver Spoon! I run over to the window and open it up, allowing all these pesky little creatures out. Only, not all of them go out. Some of them are still flying around my room, swarming us and eating my secret stash of candies… AH! My secret stash of candies! I was saving those for the next time I get grounded! “You little! Alula, do something!” “L-Like what?” “You brought them here! Do something about it, now!” “Hold on! I’ve got an idea!” I can hardly see what she’s going with all these bugs flying about, but she seems to be searching her saddlebag for something. I run over to my dresser and pick up a bottle of perfume, the same kind that I’m wearing right now, and start spraying it everywhere. Some of these things back away, and I can see Alula much more… clearly… “Princess Erroria, here to save the day!” You’ve got to be kidding me. “You just carry that thing around with you?” She chuckles and turns red as she looks away from me. “W-Well, I thought it would be fun once in a while, y’know… Anyway! Princess Erroria is going to cast a spell to vanquish these… whatever they are!” “You can’t do magic!” I point out, not that I should really have to. “Now’s not the time to be playing around, Alula! They’re eating all my candy!” “No they’re not,” Silver Spoon says. “Look, they’ve stopped.” … Oh. So they have? Did Alula do this? But, how? She’s not really a Princess… is she? “Uh… Y-Yeah! See? I totally did it!” she says. Impossible! T-There’s no way that Alula could actually be a- AH! MY BED! “Alula! They’re eating my bed! And my dresses! And my games!” T-This can’t be! They’re eating everything!! Well, everything except for what little candy is left in my secret stash! “Alula, what did you do?!” She quickly reaches up to her fake horn and removes it, grinning stupidly as she throws it away. “I-It wasn’t me! It was that stupid Princess Erroria!” “A-LU-LAAAAAA!” “M-MERCY!” D-Did I really just make them stop? But, that would mean I performed magic. But, that would mean my horn was real. And my horn isn’t real… is it? I would know if it was or not, and it most certainly is not… I don’t think so, at least. But, hey, at least they stopped. And now, Diamond will jump into my embrace and thank me from the bottom of her heart! I can see it now! She’ll be like: ‘Oh Alula, I was so scared! Thank you for saving me!’ And I’ll be all: ‘It’s okay, Di. You’re safe now. I won’t let any weird but cute little balls hurt you.’ And then she’ll say: ‘Oh Alula, please say you’ll marry me!’ And I’ll say: ‘Oh Di, of course I will!’ And then Silver Spoon will be like: ‘Hey congratulations you two! I’m super happy and not the least bit jealous of you!’ And Diamond’s dad will say: ‘Take good care of my daughter, Alula,’ while he has tears in his eyes. And Miss Cheerilee will perform the ceremony, and we’ll go to our new home and we’ll spend the entire night doing those ‘adult things’ that Miss Cloudchaser said I’m too young to know about, and then we’ll buy a baby from the stork and we’ll- Oh, right. Reality. “Uh… Y-Yeah! See? I totally did it!” Now, Diamond Tiara! I await your loving embrace! “Alula! They’re eating my bed! And my dresses! And my games!” … U-oh. This isn’t good. “Alula, what did you do?!” Think quickly, Alula, think quickly! Oh, I know… Just take off my horn, and… “I-It wasn’t me! It was that stupid Princess Erroria!” Diamond Tiara seems to burst into flames. “A-LU-LAAAAAA!” And now she’s walking towards me, and I’m sure… Yep. She’s gonna kill me. Only one thing to do now. “M-MERCY!” Close my eyes and pray to Celestia for a miracle. “I’ll show you mercy, you- AH! MY TIARA!” I open my eyes to find the cute little spawns of Discord chewing on Diamond’s tiara. “GET ‘EM OFF, GET ‘EM OFF!” “MY GLASSES!” I look over to Silver Spoon, and see the annoying but adorable creatures eating her glass- AWWWW! They’re using the glass parts as little plates to serve the broken-up frame on, and they have little bibs and cutlery! That’s so adorable! “I CAN’T SEE!” And of course Silver Spoon ruins it by running into a wall and knocking herself out. “We have to get out of here, before they eat us!” Would they really do that? I think that might just be an exaggeration, buuuut… I definitely agree about us getting out of here. “Okay, make a run for it! I’ll keep them at bay!” This is it Alula! Time to show your fillyfriend how cool you are! By defending her from a swarm of possibly the cutest yet most horrifying creatures known to ponykind! “What about Silver Spoon?!” Oh, right. Her… I could just leave her here. I’m sure she’d be fine. But… Darn it! She’s my friend! I’m not just gonna leave my friend here to die! “I’ll get her, now go!” Diamond nods, and quickly runs out of the room, screaming as she runs through more of the pesky critters outside. I run over to Silver Spoon and follow my limited knowledge of the medical sciences, by placing a hoof to her neck to check her pulse. I don’t know what a ‘pulse’ actually is, so I’m just going to assume she still has one. I then lift her onto my back and run after Diamond. I manage to make it safely to the front door with Silver Spoon still on my back, and I see Diamond standing just outside her front garden, with her father Filthy Rich there, too. “Girls, hurry!” he shouts, waving his hooves at us. “We need to evacuate!” “What’s going on?” I ask as I reach them. “Just look!” I do, and… Oh. My. Celestia. The entire town, it’s… it’s like something out a horror movie. I can’t believe it… Where has our town gone?! “The Princess will be here soon, and I’m sure she’ll help us, but we need to save ourselves first!” “What about my mum?!” I ask. “And Silver’s parents?” “They’re already safe, I came back alone to fetch you three!” “What’s that sound?” Diamond asks, causing us all to stop and listen… She’s right, there’s some kind of strange music playing. What’s going on? And… why are the cute but nasty creatures dancing to it? “Look! Over there!” … P-Pinkie Pie? No, more like Pinkie Pie clad in an assortment of musical instruments. Is she the one playing this music? All by herself? And, is she the one responsible for these things forming a line behind her and bouncing up and down as they followed her out of Ponyville? All we do is watch as she escorts the cute monsters out of town, along with many other ponies in the streets. … Well, that was… strange. It’s not every day you see something like that… Uh… I’m not quite sure what to do now… “A-Are you guys alright?” Mr. Rich nods. “I-I’m fine.” He then looks down at Diamond. “Are you okay, Diamond?” “I think so… AH!” Diamond waves her hoof above her head. “M-My tiara…” Oh no! Diamond’s tiara, it must have been completely eaten! And now she’s all sad! … And it’s all my fault. For letting those creatures into her room. For letting them multiply so much, and then doing that thing that made them start eating everything around them (I still don’t know how I did that, but it was definitely my fault). She’ll surely hate me now… I… I don’t want her to hate me! “GAH! ALULAAAAA!” “I’m so sorry! I didn’t meant for all this to happen! I’ll buy you a new tiara, and a new room, and a new box of candy, so… please don’t hate me…” My tiara… My beautiful, beautiful tiara… gone! This is a tragedy! This is a nightmare! This can’t possibly get any wor- “GAH!” Great! Now Alula is hanging off of me again! “ALULAAAAA!” “I’m so sorry!” Wait, what? “I didn’t meant for all this to happen! I’ll buy you a new tiara, and a new room, and a new box of candy, so… please don’t hate me…” … She’s… crying? And she’s worried that I’ll hate her? I mean, yeah I’m annoyed, and you bet I’ll make you buy me a new tiara! But… “… Alula?” “Yes?” “… Go take a shower. You stink.” She doesn’t let go, or do anything else, or say anything. “And then… you might as well stay to have lunch with us…” She lets go of me and takes a step back, rubbing her forehoof against her eyes. “Diamond…” “Well?! What are you waiting for?!” She looks at me with that same idiotic expression she always wears, only this time, there are more tears. “Go on! If it hasn’t been eaten, you can use our shower! And then we’ll go to Silver’s house to see if her spare glasses are safe.” She simply stares at me like an idiot for a few seconds. Honestly, why did I even bother wasting such mercy on her? She’s the one responsible for wrecking my room in the first pla- GAH! NOT AGAIN! “Thanks, Di! I promise, I’ll definitely make this up to you somehow!” “You can start by letting go!” One of these days, I’m going to learn how to avoid these accursed death-grips of hers! “ALULAAAAA!”