//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Discovery // Story: My Little Deadpool: Friendship is Deadpool // by LightTechnology //------------------------------// Deadpool gave a sigh. After successfully completing another mercenary job and killing another president of Unimportania, Deadpool returned to his apartment and sat down bored in his chair. He gave another sigh that was slightly louder. After a pause, he reached for his remote and turned on the TV. “And in recent news,” the television spoke. “Scientists have reached a breakthrough in medical advancements, having discovered the cure for-” “SIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!” [What is it?] Deadpool slumped in his chair. “It’s nothing...” [Well if it’s nothing then I’ll just probably lea-] “Nooooo~” Deadpool whined. [Look. Arguing with your subconscious isn’t really an effective way to entertain yourself] {In fact! It just shows how much crazier you are, you knucklehead!} “But I’m bored~” [Alright, let’s analyze this thoroughly. Why exactly are you bored?] Deadpool always hated analyzing his problems, which is probably why he always hated mathematics or why he never bothers to go see a therapist. He slumped in his chair once again as he thought to himself why he was in such a rut. The day started out like any other day. He woke up (like always), got his mercenary job (as usual), went through hell and back to kill his target (nothing new), but otherwise it went successful (per the norm), so what was the problem? The day started out like any other day... ‘Like any other day’ It was at that point Deadpool realized everything. “I realize everything.” said Deadpool. [...] {...} [Are...Are you gonna tell us?] “Why should I? You’re my subconscious afterall, so you should know already.” {But let’s just say it for the sake of that one guy right there!} “Oh you mean that one guy IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER SCREEN?!” Deadpool dramatically pointed in no direction in particular. {A little more to your left!} “ANYWAY!” Deadpool organized his living room to look like a classroom complete with a blackboard, 5 rows of empty desks, an American flag, and a fern (to brighten the room, of course). “Listen up, class! I’ve been at the mercenary game for many years now, and I’ve finally reached my mid-life crisis! Day in and day out it’s been- ‘BANG! BA-BANG, SLICE SCHLICK!’- and it’s come to the point where I’m sick of it all!” {But we have all these shweet guns!} [What’s the point? We prefer to use dual pistols, anyway.] Deadpool waved his index finger. “Hey, you two didn’t raise your hands.” [We’re sorry} “I’ll see you both in detention.” After dealing with his two terribly troubled students, Deadpool suddenly gave a triumphant pose and raised both his arms in the air. “Alright! Now that I’ve realized my problem, the question now is: What am I going to do about it?” Deadpool dramatically thrusted his pointer finger, again. “I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’M GOING TO DO!” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Deadpool flipped through the channels with his TV remote as he slumped back on his easy chair while eating a tub of chocolate ice cream. [This is your answer?] “I can’t help it! I’m weak...when the mood suits it!” {Hey it could be worse. At least your not in a bathrobe to represent how sloppy and lazy you are} “...” ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Deadpool flipped through the channels with his TV remote as he slumped back on his easy chair while eating a tub of chocolate ice cream while also wearing his bathrobe. “Oh television, you always know how to cheer me up when I’m down.” The TV displayed various shows that Deadpool hoped to entertain his boredom. In fact, some of the shows Deadpool searched shouldn’t even have existed in his universe, but then again who gives a crap? “Cartoon Network presents: The Super Hero Squad Show!” “Eh.” Deadpool changed the channel. “Up next, Disney XD presents: Ultimate Spider-Man!” “Ew.” With each mediocre show appearing before him, Deadpool slowly rised out of his seat with each channel he flipped through out of frustration. “We now return to the FX movie premiere of: X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” “NO!” Deadpool slammed on his remote. “My Little Pony, My Little Pony...” the television sang. “Oh. Heh, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, eh?” {A show about a bunch of Technicolor fictional ponies ought to be good, right?} [At least it’s not an obligatory Marvel reference.] “Well whatever it is, it’s my ticket to a busy afternoon,” Deadpool said as he made himself a bowl of popcorn. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11 episodes later Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! Let's finish our holiday cheer Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! 'Cause tomorrow spring is here Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! “ 'Cause tomorrow spring is here ,” Deadpool sang along. Deadpool was certainly surprised. Despite the show’s premise, he actually enjoyed watching it. Even after a few episodes in he suddenly cared about these characters that were presented to him. He cared for the soft and timid Fluttershy, he laughed along with the oh-so energetic Pinkie Pie, he got fired up with Rainbow Dash and her attitude of awesomeness. Yes indeed, the Merc with a Mouth was becoming a brony. [Oh dear, I think he’s far gone.] {We went in too deep! Pull back! Pull back!} “Hey, don’t insult me just because I like this show.” [You do know what show you’re watching, right?] {Yeah! My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! Wait, isn’t that show for little girls?} Deadpool was silent until he stood up from his chair. “It doesn’t matter what the preferred demographic for this show is! All that matters is that if you enjoy watching a show, then you should watch it! So what if the show is about the lives of colorful ponies in a very merry-go-happy setting? So what if the main characters mostly consist of females? I’m sure many people will come into this thinking that this show is girly, stupid, cheap, for babies or an evil corporate commercial. In fact, I congratulate those who come in with an open mind because then they maybe in for a surprise! I can certainly attest to this, however: this isn’t your average show for little kids. It’s an intelligent show that takes it’s audience seriously and grown ups who do watch the show should do so without feeling embarrassed!” Deadpool finished by making a triumphant pose. [Who knew that fans of a show about ponies would be so vocal?] {Eh, I think that’s just him being him} Deadpool sat back down on his chair. “Y’know, the rest of the world can learn a thing or two from My Little Pony,” he said as he ate a handful of popcorn. “I mean, let’s face it: the world nowadays sucks.” [That’s a blunt way of putting things] “Not like Equestria, though,” Deadpool rested his arm on the chair’s armrest. “If I lived there, I would have the time of my life.” [Uh-oh.] {What is it?} [I just read this fanfic’s premise.] “Epiphany!” Deadpool shouted. “I’m going to Equestria!” [Oh no.] {Hey, don’t worry. It’s not like he has any way of getting there, right?} “Double epiphany!” In the past, there were a great many things that stood in the way of Deadpool’s goals, but he would find a way to get past them in the end. Even with how nonsensical his current goal was, Deadpool was so certain that nothing would get in his way even now. However, Deadpool suddenly realized how ridiculous this whole thing was. He was struck with reality when he realized that it was impossible to transport himself all the way to ... All the way to- ... -to Equestri- Huh? Deadpool...? WHaT?! No wAiT! HeY! STop! WAAAAH! AND SO DEADPOOL HAD THE POWERS TO TRANSPORT HIMSELF TO EQUESTRIA! [Well that escalated quickly] RELAX> THE AUTHOR’S FINE< HE"S JUST A BIT KNOCKED OUT> [Can you cool it with the cap lock, please?] CAPS LOCK? I"M JUST HOLDING DOWN SHIFT WHILE TYPING EVERYTHING> {Besides, typing everything in caps shows how serious you are about something!} “And now that that’s out of the way, onwards to Equestria!” I SAID ENTHUSIASTICALLY> SO THEN I WAVED MY HANDS AND SHOT A BEAM AT MY TELEVISION< WHICH WAS A PORTAL TO EQUESTRIA> I THEN JUMPED INTO THE PORTAL> BY THE WAY< I ALSO COMMAND THAT THE AUTHOR REMEMBERS NONE OF THIS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER>