//------------------------------//
// Chapter The Fourth, Cage Number Two 
// Story: Nicolas Cage In Ponyville - Friendship Is Compulsory 
// by HelmOfDismay 
//------------------------------//

----Chapter 4, Cage Number Two----

Nicolas wandered the back alleys of the town, they were the sort of place you’d find crime in any other town to this. His crestfallen walk was one of immense melancholy. The thought that someone would be unappreciative of such a comforting and paternal face made Nic’s stomach turn. 
“You’re about to be dragged to the sidewalk and beaten until you PISS BLOOD!” Screamed a familiarly bland voice. Nicolas paused a moment. 
His face stung hard.
He’d been slammed face-first into the ground like a pilot lacking in direction. Nicolas spat out some gravel and hauled himself aloft. Nic checked that his atrocious hair was still intact and his assaulter kicked the back of his leg. Nic stumbled to turn face to face with his enemy. Only to be greeted by a mirror image.  

The second Cage, henceforth referred to as Jeremy, was wearing Nic’s iconic leather jacket and the hair/beard combo that Nicolas had worn in Conair. Jeremy, henceforth referred to as Mikhael Strumanov, dashed at Mr.Cage whom quickly leapt backward. Nicolas bent down, gripping a handful of gravel. Mikhael Strumanov, henceforth referred to as Katie, was met with a cloud of stone and dust, temporarily blinded he panicked. Nicolas burst from his squat and sped at the now bent-over Katie, henceforth referred to as Charlie, and punted his face strong.

Charlie, henceforth referred to as Francisco, pirouetted through the air like some sort of gravitationally challenged Beyblade ripped by a retarded six year old. Nicolas felt the need to deploy a catchphrase but could only think of,
“Looks like you just went In Sixty Seconds.’ Nic put on his shattered sunglasses and walked away sexily.