//------------------------------// // Chapter 12: The Royal Lands // Story: Red Dead ReDerption // by CompleteChaos21 //------------------------------// Chapter 12: (The Royal Lands) “Leo, you are useless. Useless, read my still bloody lips, USELESS!” The bright sun bore down on two mares and a 3rd one metaphysically. Schizo, still bloody and mangled from her confrontation with Nightmare Moon, was lying on a wagon bed, her hooves tied up. Joan pulled the wagon behind her, to her sides were the now lush and green hills of Equestria, Ponyville was just a mile ahead. Cloudsdale, a mile behind her. The floating cloud fortress had now been transformed into a floating city, a metropolitan of weather production. Joan rolled into Ponyville, faces were bright, in the time she had been in Nuevo Equestria, Marshal Dash and the deputies had vanquished the remaining members of both Walton and Dyslex’s gangs. The deputies had been promoted and moved to different cities, Snipes to Seaddle, and Trails to the Baltimare, but the marshal stayed in Ponyville. “Well, I’ll be. If it ain’t our favorite cowmare. Joan! It’s great to see you.” Gala MacApple burst out of the Marshals office and jumped onto Joan. Marshal Dash calmly trotted out behind her, “So glad you’re alive, we weren’t sure how you faired with the rebellion and all.” The orange mare said. “I wasn’t worried at all, if you could survive Cloudsdale you could survive anything.” The marshal spoke coolly. She took a quick look at the wagon and the crazed pony who had been babbling to her friend “Leo.” “I assume you’re headed off to Canterlot to turn her in…” “Yea…I did stop to retrieve my husband but…the shop was boarded up. What happened marshal?” The marshal looked towards Canterlot but she was looking straight past it. “He said he needed to find something or fix something.” She looked back to the gray pegasus, “I wasn’t going to stop the Doctor. So he went north, maybe you’ll find him in Canterlot.” Joan shifted slightly to her right but smiled nonetheless, “Thanks Marshal,” she nodded at Gala, “Gala, thank you for everything, we’ll keep in contact. Hopefully I can return to Trottingham Ranch soon.” Gala gave her a hug before she left to go back to the farm. The marshal waved for Joan to carry on but her face was worrisome. “What is it?” She questioned. The two carried on up the path towards the royal lands, “Joan…I’ve been hearing some things from up north. Them prissy ponies on the trains saying that something is going on up north, from Canterlot to Manehatten, even up to Trottingham.” Schizo yelled something that was almost inaudible, but it sounded like she was yelling, “Drink, Drink, Drunk.” The marshal and Joan continued moving forward, closer and closer to Canterlot’s mountain rise. “They been sayin’ somepony has made host in the royal lands area, and…” She paused for a moment, Schizo yelled the same thing she had just said although two time louder, the Marshal looked uncertainly into the valley below where the palace hung over. “They say that there has been a serious string of shootings, murders, robberies, and such. Joan if anything I’d say that its-” Joan cut her off, a despairing shine blinked in her derped eyes, “Epileps…” “That’s what I figured too.” She was worrisome, “I just hope we’re wrong.” ----- “So why’d you run, Schizo.” Joan asked after an hour of silent path trotting. “Why’d you run from Dyslex?” “Oh that’s such a silly question, Leo why don’t you tell sweet little Joan why I left…” The crazed mare spoke sweetly to the piece of wood next to her. She nodded her approval as she “heard” the story being told out. Joan rolled her left eye and continued forward, “Oh Leo. You forgot about the part where my brother dies. Oh well, he’s probably more than six feet under. Gorge, why of course Leo, what else would I have used.” The torn up mare continued to carry on and on and on and on about her past. “Haha and remember when The Doctor got captured by us and then we held him over a canyon for a day. He was screaming something about having two heart attacks at once!” Joan’s face hardened. “Oh and, and even better, silly old Joan here, gone and done married him. She even had a foal with him!” Joan stopped the wagon and slipped out of the harness, Schizo was laughing hysterically about the torture they put the Doctor through but complimenting him upon his abilities to escape with that “fancy thingy of his.” “Ok, time for you to sleep.” Joan said with an enlightened face. “But I’m not tired.” Joan threw a venomous punch into Schizo’s cheek which opened up some of the cuts Nightmare Moon had given to her, a small trickle of blood seeped from them, she was knocked out. Joan smiled and carried the wagon forward again. ----- The sun was nearly set now, she had finally reached the backside of the mountain, a large plateau spread from the back and their lay the city of Canterlot. A small trip through the mountain would bring you to the hanging castle where the Princess resided. The gates into the city had several gold armored guards posted. One recognized her and ran into the gates. He returned a minute later with the little purple dragon known as Spike Fordham. “Joan!” He yells surprised to see you, “We weren’t expecting you back for another month.” He hesitated slightly continuously peering at the wagon. The wind from the now rising moon blew into her mane giving Joan a happy feeling. “And, that’s amazing Joan.” He had finally seen the passed out mare in the wagon bed, “You, you captured Schizo.” He was undoubtedly amazed; he cleared his throat, “Ahem…what happened to Dyslex?” “She killed herself, Marshal Dash can confirm the fact that she is dead.” He smiled and nodded his head in satisfaction, “I am impressed with your work. Come with me, Ross and the Princess will want to speak to you.” He turned towards the gate guards, “Mrs. Joan Derpston is a friendly and she is to be treated as one, she will be allowed to go in and out of the city as she pleases.” Gold armor bodies shifted, their right hooves just over there eyes, saluting. The two continued into the gates. “So Marshal Dash Johnson helped you defeat Dyslex?” Spike asked as they walked through the city and into the mountain to reach the Palace. “Yep she was there through the thick and thin of it. I was also aided by her deputies, whom I heard got promoted and sent to different towns. Gala MacApple from the apple family, and Celt who got a job on the Fort Cloudsdale construction site. They all helped as well.” She said happily, although purposely leaving out the Doctor from the conversation. The two passed through the damp mountain cave and were outside the palace gates, Twilight Shining Ross was waiting. The little purple dragon walked up to Twilight. She had a light purple coat, her hair was a thick purple but most of it was covered by her light tan hat. Her tan overcoat hid most of her body, except that of her hooves when she walked. Two small bulges formed around the sides of her stomach, Joan knew exactly what they were. Ross was the highest ranking official in the Futurism Bureau behind the Chief Operator. She had an unrestricted pass to do anything she pleased to do, when Joan had been captured she once said with a smile, “Everything can be covered up. Although nothing can be forgotten.” Joan thought of how true this simple statement was, ‘I had covered up my past, but the Bureau never forgot.’ She thought to herself. Agent Ross approached her, she had an uptight stance as she walked giving off waves of superiority. This is a reason Joan hated police officials; they walked with such gusto as if they were impervious to everything. She reached Joan and glared her in the eye, “You work very fast.” A foreboding pressure impounded on her as the Agent worked her way around the cart. She examined with her keen eyes, noticing every detail of the battered mare in the cart, “Interesting, multiple lacerations to the whole body. Stitches on the hinds from her self implemented skin removal.” She halted moving, “Tell me Joan, how did she get all these cuts?” A quick gust came into the mountain side and blew the entire mountainside around. The air stopped flowing and once everypony recovered, Joan spoke. “She had those when I found her, can’t say our tussle created a few more.” A slur of honesty squeaked into her voice, Ross continued circling the wagon. “When do I get to see my daughter again?” Ross walked up next to her, “Walk with me…” she moved forward but without turning back. “We have some…plans…to discuss.” She said caustically. ----- “Your majesty.” Ross bowed her head towards the white alicorn mare, Spike did the same. Joan didn’t bow. The princess bowed respectively back towards her agents. She lifted her head up to speak, “What news have you brought me, Ross?” “According to Joan, Dyslex, charged with 37 charges of Murder, 20 of Petty Theft, 4 of felonies in Theft, 8 charges of Disorderly Conduct under the influence of Salt, 40 counts of Assault, and 14 charges of Rape. Dyslex, killed by her own hand.” The princess thought for a second, “Can anypony validate that?” She smiled, waiting for a chance, waiting for a time to catch her. Joan spoke up, “Marshal Dash Johnson of Ponyville can validate my claim.” Celestia’s eye narrowed with her wings spread, she shouted and a voice as powerful as Luna’s had been flew into the three bodies below her thrown. “Did I address you!?” She screamed into them, her agents slid backwards but Joan remained unmoved, unbroken. She returned the same look the princess had given her, “I’ve done as I was told, when do I get to see my daughter.” Calmly she stepped forward, Celestia slid her wings back and she nodded at her agents. They bowed and left the room, slamming the door behind them. Celestia smiled venomously, “You won’t, and you’re not done yet.” She walked down her thrones pedestal and approached the cowmare. To Joan the princess oozed bad feelings, she was disgusted by how she made her feel, she much preferred being with the agents than with her. The princess’s rules were very strict and she felt almost tyrannical at times, yet in the very same discussion she could come off as the most generous pony alive. Her discorded moral presence made one of Joan’s eyes fly off to the left and her other all the way to the right. “You see, your daughter was killed in a prison riot a week ago. They buried her in the prison graveyard too.” Joan froze, solidified to the royal Kashmir red carpets in the throne room. Celestia giggled a little as she walked past the frozen mare. A couple feet past her, a whirl of coat and two barrel clicks erupted through the hall. “You’re a terrible liar…” Celestia turned around to see the mare on her back hooves, a single hoof extended forward firmly grasping the stock of her double barrel shotgun. Tia stepped forward putting her nose right on the tip of the gun. Her flowing mane brushing and pouring around Joan’s body, surprisingly this began to comfort her. “You’re right I am.” Tia smiled, Joan lowered her gun. “Go to agent Ross, you’ll see your daughter very soon.” She smiled and stared compassionately at Joan, “Your status to the kingdom Joan…ehm I mean, Special Agent Joan Derpston. Your status has been raised. Finish this last piece of the puzzle, and everything will be as it once was.” Her genuine smile, the one that everypony knew, warmed its way into Joan. A small thought pierced her brain, ‘Why does her mood change so much.’ She exited the throne room. The door shut, in front of her stood the two agents. Agent Ross was saluting her while Spike Fordham held two items in his claws. “Congratulations special agent. You’ll be working with us and another two mare team from here on. I’m assuming you know who were up against.” “If I didn’t I’d be worried about my head, Agent.” Joan sarcastically smirked, she raised her eyebrows at the items Agent Fordham had for her. “Ah yes, Joan, these are your Bureau specialty items, your Special Agents Badge and your special issue firearm. A Colt Model 11 High Power Pistol. High Accuracy Firing and Immense Stopping Power. This weapon is yours from now on.” Spike fastened the badge to Joan’s duster coat. Twilight made a motion suggesting she wished to tie the weapon holster to her. Joan nodded her consent. Twilight Shining Ross fired up her horn from under her hat and pulled up the duster coat. Joan’s eyes smashed inwardly and her muzzle scrunched up as the leather straps of the holster weaved underneath her thigh and wrapped her way around her flank. To simple say, she wasn’t sure whether she was being violated or not. ----- The three agents walked down through the mountainside tunnel and into the actual city of Canterlot. “I can’t believe that Epileps is back…” Joan said. Her old gang leader had finally come back from the brink of alcoholistic insanity and into the light of day. From cave hopping to grave robbing, Epileps had some how survived the gang being dispersed. Her fur and mane color matched that of her favorite berry colored whiskeys and wines, which was commonly the first thing she’d do after a successful robbery, drink. Nopony knew what her name meant or where it came from, except for her and the gang memebers, she kept that all to her self. Agent Ross was leading her towards the house of her other client, a strange pink mare by the name of Stephamina, at least that’s what Ross told her. “So Joan, tell us anything about Epileps you know, anything that could help. Our data on her was very limited…” “Well the first thing to learn is that she hates bright flashes, sudden lights especially in enclosed spaces, and fire.” She glanced towards Ross, Twilight Ross told Joan that she had a photographic memory, Joan honestly had no idea what that was but maybe it was working in her, remembering some event from her past because the Agent had her hoof at her chin, simply perplexed in concentration by the thought. “And her biggest strength and weakness is that stomach of hers, she could hold any amount of liquor she drank, but if she ain’t had any in a while, she’d start havin fits and a major attitude problem. Plus her spasms and ev’rything made her a mess.” “OOH!” The purple unicorn’s sudden epiphany caused her assistant to jump and belch fire. “Epileps is suffering from a double condition…” Joan and Spike Fordham tilted there heads slightly. “She suffers from alcoholism, a condition from over consumption and addiction to highly alcoholic substances. What sort of drinks did she consume?” “Something illegal, potent wines, lunarshine, double batch cider, sun salt, anything with more potency than what’s allowed.” “Interesting, another crime to add to her list, but alas I am amazed at her second condition, I’ve never met a pony with the condition known as Epilepsy. Is this why she is named so?” Joan stepped back, simply to say, she was clueless, it had never came to her that Schizo’s name for their leader had actually had anything to do with her random fits. She collected herself, “We all took on different names, I never knew my real name, don’t think my mother ever even gave me one, she died real young…and lets say…” Her vision got warm and fuzzy, “My pa…he was never one to stay around, I’m sure he’s gone and got himself killed by now.” Ross put her hoof down, “I feel I stuck a wrong chord…” “No, no it’s fine, we all gave each other names…at least, Schizo named us all. It made the gang feel more like a family, a messed up, shoot you in the back leave ya for dead family.” The group stopped in front of a tall brick building, the paints were exuberant colors, pinks and yellows swirling in many locations. The entrance sign said this, “Professor Stephamina Dianatella McPie: Biologist and Psychologist.” They entered. “Oh, where is it…” a mare’s voice said from deep in the brick building. The clopping hooves in the background made a sound as if a hundred ponies were running around. “I knew I should have put them away before I started sugar!” Agent Twilight Ross stepped forward, “Ahem, Professor McPie!” The stampede of hooves silenced, a poof floofy curly haired pink colored mare in a nice brown suit stepped through the swinging door to the buildings kitchen. She gasped for an elongated period, then suddenly and finally extremely surprisingly… “OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH!” She bolted straight for the Agents, “Agent Ross If I’d known you were coming I would have baked some treats for you and I see you brought a guest another client or agent I presume oh I’m so excited oh and ya know that I’ve been busy with research into the files you gave me so far so far I have nothing past possible cave system dwellings but there are loads and loads of cave dwellings in and around the north eastern sector of Equestria not to mention all the snow caves on the Arctic North’s border and even the expansive Timberwolf Woods!” The pink pony cheerfully rambled all her info out in a quick and precise manner. She smiled gleefully at the agents. Agent Ross looked towards the map on the wall, several pins and dots aligned the north eastern portion of the map. “A small portion of land on the map, but a huge chunk of Equestria, we’ll start from around Trottingham.” “Trottingham…” Joan peeped. “Your home…” Ross looked dearly at Joan. “Meet us at Trottingham after you visit your homestead. But don’t take longer than an hour, we need all the daylight we can get.” ----- It took 5 minutes for Joan to fly to the Trottingham Ranch, the 3rd largest harvester of wheat for Trottingham, that was while Joan was their at least. She swerved onto the property. Generally it looked a dirty barren color, but that was the price of working wheat. Joan had left Harvest, a worker she had hired when she bought the farmland, in control, Harvest had become family so her trust was well placed. The planting season would start soon. The homestead itself had remained how Joan had left it, maybe a little wind beaten but it was fine. A shadow shuffled from the window panes. The door burst open and a golden coated mare with carrot colored hair burst out, Harvest. “Joan!” She shouted with a smile and was in full gallop towards our hero. She jumped onto Joan, “Harvest, great to see you!” Joan replied to the attacking hug. “I see the farm is fine.” “Well…” she shifted her hooves lightly, “The land and the house are fine, as for the we had left over…” She looked towards the silo, which looked fine. “Bad storm hit one day,” Joan knew which storm she spoke of, “silo got damaged, sold most of our excess to repair it. Should have enough left over to last us, but…” Joan pushed Harvest’s straw hat over her eyes, “No you did the right thing, I would have done the same.” Joan got distracted by something. She was looking towards the hill that overlooked the dead apple tree that used to bear good amounts of fruit. Harvest noticed the character too. “Hey…who’s that?” She said. Joan noticed the suit and hat, she spoke grimly, “Let me talk to him…”