Alexander wiped the back of his neck. Sweat beaded down his face from the extreme temperatures of the deserts in Afghanistan that were near unbearable. He pulled out his flask and took a small sip of the piss warm water.
“Ugh…” He groaned to himself. For the last few days, headquarters had sent several mechanized platoons out on reconnaissance missions to search for Al-Qaeda. “Reconnaissance in a tank… that makes sense… bastards are probably sipping cold lemonade right now…” Alex muttered to himself.
“What’s that?” Jackson asked. Jackson was the crew’s cannon loader. He had a rather deep tan skin colour with blue eyes and short hair. Alex looked down to Jackson.
“Nothing… just saying…” Alex replied. The driver hatch opened and a pale skinned man peeked out and removed his helmet.
“Jesus… it’s hot in that thing!” He gasped as he began to wipe sweat from his forehead and took a large drink from his canteen. This was Deny, he was fresh out of training and was the tank driver.
“Yeah man, didn’t they tell you about this in basic training.” Laughed another voice from inside the tank. The voice belonged to that of James. He was the crew’s gunner and he was damned good at it.
“All of you shut up!” Alex hissed as he brought the pair of binoculars back up to his face and peered into the distance. It was getting late and they’d have to report back soon. “Well this was a waste of time.” Alex muttered.
James chuckled. “Ain’t it always a waste of time?” He replied snidely. Alex shut the hatch on the tank.
“You know James, you’d be the perfect tanker if it wasn’t for that damn mouth of yours.” He stated. “Driver, forward!” Alex ordered.
“Ai, Ai, captain!” James remarked, resulting in Alex giving him a cold glare. After a few more moments, Deny operated the controls and the tank started before it began lumbering forwards.
“This day couldn’t possibly get any shittier.” Alex muttered to himself.
“Sure, it could start raining.” James replied jokingly. Alex gave him another cold glare. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop with the jokes… for now.” He chuckled as the tank continued along. Suddenly there was a bright flash of light and they all flinched as they brought their hands up to block the blindingly bright blue light.
After what seemed like hours, Alex groaned to himself as he regained consciousness. “What the hell happened?! Driver, what’s going on, report!” Alex ordered.
“Uhm… I don’t know sir… everything seems fine except… satellite imagery.” Deny replied. Alex groaned to himself, the last thing he needed was electronic failures.
“I’d rather be facing a battalion of tanks.” He muttered to himself. “What does it look like outside?” Alex asked. Deny checked the digital imagery screens.
“Dark…” He replied. Alex groaned, figuring that perhaps the screens were busted too.
“Alright… sit tight.” Alex ordered as he unholstered his Beretta M9 from its holster and cautiously opened the hatch slightly. It was blindingly dark outside and Alex couldn’t see past the tip of the tank’s main cannon. “Shit… where are we…” He whispered before sliding back down into his seat and sealing the hatch.
“Driver, let’s roll out of here, double time!” He ordered. Deny nodded then quickly fidgeted with several switches before the tank started. The M1 Abrams tank began treading through a dark and gloomy forest.
“When the fuck did Afghanistan get forests?” Jackson asked.
“Just shut up and stay focused.” Alex hissed. Jackson quickly silenced himself and did as his commander asked. After only a few minutes, the tank rolled out into an orchard pasture and stopped.
“Driver, why are we stopping?” Alex asked.
“Sir… you might uhm… want to look at this.” Deny replied. Alex groaned to himself. It was bad enough he had to be crammed into a tank with three other men, but maneuvering inside it was an entirely new level.
He squirmed down to the driver compartment and looked to the screen Deny was pointing to. On the night vision screen there was what looked to be a horse in a cape… with a horn.
“What-the-fuck!” Alex muttered. “Gunner… eleven o’clock!” Alex ordered.
“Wait!” Deny yelled and Alex looked to him with a stern look. “It’s just an animal.” Deny replied. Alex motioned for James to shoot anyways. “Wait! It isn’t armed and hasn’t engaged us… we can’t engage it yet.” Deny told his commander. Alex grimaced to himself. The rules of engagement had cost him part of his past he never wanted to lose.
“It’s just a stupid animal!” Alex hissed but Deny silently pleaded for him not to end the creature’s life. “Fine! So what the fuck do you think it wants?” He asked and Deny simply shrugged.
“Maybe it’s just grazing… you know, like a horse or something.” He replied.
“Uhm sir… what the hell is that thing?” James asked as he homed in his shot.
“It’s…” Alex trailed off. He didn’t want to say unicorn. That would make him feel foolish. Everyone knew that unicorns weren’t real. Suddenly the unicorn lept to its hindlegs and fired a magical blast into the air that illuminated the entire pasture.
“SHIT! FIRE!” Alex ordered.
“NO, DON’T SHOOT!” Deny ordered and Alex gave him a pissed look. “Commander, it’s not shooting at us…” He stated.
“Hey, do I shoot this thing or not?” James asked, confused about whether he should just shoot the thing like his commander ordered, or listen to rules of engagement. Besides, the military doesn’t exactly approve of killing wild animals with tank ammunition. Alex looked to Deny then scoffed before drawing out his pistol.
“FINE! I’ll get it to move.” Alex scowled before carefully opening the driver hatch. “Are there any other heat signals?” Alex asked.
Deny checked the monitors. “Just that… thing.” He replied. Alex took another quick glance then disembarked his tank and began to cautiously approached the blue unicorn.
“HAIL, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” It screamed. Alex immediately brought his pistol up and leveled his green luminescent sights with her head, though it freaked him out that she could talk, he was more cautious about her yelling. “The great and powerful Trixie has summoned you here to…” She began but Alex cut her short.
“Wait, what?!” He asked, beginning to think that perhaps he was having some weird dream.
“Don’t interrupt Trixie! As she was saying, she has summoned you here to defeat Twilight Sparkle, who has made a fool of me for the last time! Now come forth my demon minions, for we have work…” She scowled before Alex once again cut her short.
“Whoa, what?! Hold on, did you just call me a demon minion?! I ain’t no stinkin minion, I’m a human!” Alex replied angrily.
“Wait… so you’re not a demon… NO!” Trixie screeched as she fell to her knees. “Now Trixie shall never be able to beat that tyrant Twilight Sparkle and her dictator leader Celestia!” She scowled, furiously angry at both of the mares.
“Wait… did you say… tyrannical dictator?” Alex asked curiously. Trixie looked up to him and nodded. “Are they… terrorists?” He asked and Trixie tilted her head to one side.
“What are terrorists?” She asked and Alex wanted to hit himself.
“You know… like, the people who do bad things that hurt other people.” He explained bluntly, figuring if he went into detail then she’d probably just get confused.
Trixie thought to herself. ‘Twilight’s actions did cause me to work at a rock farm… and that did cause blisters and calluses on my hooves. “If that is what a terrorist is… than yes, Twilight is a terrorist!” She announced.
Alex’s eyes went wide. “Where are we?” He asked and Trixie facehoofed.
“In Equestria!” She announced and Alex looked around. He had no idea where Equestria was or how close it was to his base, but if there were terrorists in the area, than he needed to dispatch of them.
“Do you know where these terrorists are?” Alex asked and Trixie nodded. He turned back to his tank and motioned for them to drive over. Deny paced the tank up to them and Alex got into his commander seat. He kept the hatch open and looked to Trixie.
“Lead the way!” He announced and she nodded. Trixie joyfully lead the tank towards Ponyville and as the tank neared the town limits, Alex ordered Deny to stop the tank.
“Where do the terrorists reside?” He asked and Trixie thought to herself before painfully remembering everypony watching her as Twilight had to remove the Ursa Minor, making an absolute fool of her.
“Everypony in this town is a… what did you call it, terrormist?” She asked.
Alex’s jaw dropped as she told him the information. “Everyone… is a terrorist in that town?” He asked and she nodded.
“Sir, awaiting orders.” Jackson replied. Alex thought to himself. It could be some sort of trap… but then again perhaps he’d be awarded an official commendation for eliminating an entire town of terrorists.
“Driver, contact HQ!” Alex ordered. Deny quickly went to work with the radio.
“The line’s dead sir.” He replied back. Alex looked to the town, it wasn’t all that large. Generally their orders would be to avoid engagement alone but Alex knew for sure that they could do it.
“Are there any innocent civilians?” Alex asked Trixie, again forcing her to remember painful memories.
“NO! They are all evil!” She replied. Alex gulped and offered her his hand.
“Quick, get in!” He ordered, not wanting to harm his new informant. She was about a human’s size but it was a little awkward for her to fit in the tank, mostly because it was already crammed.
“Driver: forward, gunner: get ready!” Alex ordered. Suddenly, Deny spotted a figure on the screen display.
“Sir, we’ve got contact… but they aren’t armed sir…” He stated.
Alex quickly recalled a painful memory. The screams of his men echoed in his mind. “FIRE!” Alex ordered.
“WHAT!? Sir, what about the rules of engagement?! We don’t know that these are terro…” Deny was cut off when Alex ordered for a second time.
“Dammit, I said shoot, James goddammit, shoot already!” He ordered. James operated the tank gun and swiveled it towards a building and fired. The M68 105mm rifled cannon fired and the high explosive round erupted against a building near the so called ‘terrorist’.
The building quickly crumbled and fell to the ground. Trixie gasped as the deafeningly loud noise rang in her ears. “What was that?! What’s happening?” She screamed. Alex didn’t answer and instead began to operate the remote M2 heavy machinegun that was mounted to the turret.
The .50 caliber began to chatter as it spat out lead death that splattered anypony in the streets that Alex saw. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” Trixie screamed as she covered her ears.
“We’re getting rid of the terrorists.” Deny replied unsurely as he drove the tank further into town. He spotted some sort of flying horse. “In the sky, nine o’clock!” Deny ordered. Alex swiveled the gun towards the target and fired. In moments the pegasus was cut to shreds and was followed by a loud eruption as James fired another round from the main cannon.
Another house fell in a pile of rubble as the 105mm shell blew the home apart. Ponies began to scamper around in the streets, screaming wildly at the horror that was unfolding. “SIR! THESE DON’T SEEM LIKE TERRORISTS, THEY AREN’T FIRING BACK!” Deny yelled.
Alex scoffed at Deny’s warning. ‘I’ve been in this game longer than he has, how does he know what a terrorist even looks like, let alone what they act like when you get the jump on them.’ “We just got the jump on them, they don’t know what to do… they are definately terrorists, relax Deny.” Alex replied as he swiveled the remote gun to a building and fired.
The mighty gun spat out rounds that shattered apart the sides of the building before James fired the main gun and took the building down. Deny watched in horror as they annihilated the town.
He continued to drive the tank along the streets but had to grimace in repute when he saw innocent ponies being riddled by shots from either the main cannon or the machinegun.
The tank approached a street where a lone tree stood that had been converted into a dwelling. “Makeshift home… eleven o’clock!” Alex ordered. James fired the main cannon and the tree home was blown away into a pile of rubble.
“Tree dwelling destroyed.” Alex confirmed. The tank continued on its unstoppable rampage for a few more minutes before stopping. Nothing stood in their path anymore. Alex slowly and cautiously opened the hatch to the tank to get a glance.
“Terrorists are down…” Alex informed the group. Trixie stepped out of the tank and gasped as she spotted the massacre that she had inadvertently caused.
“What… why di…” She trailed off in absolute horror.
“They were terrorists, you even said yourself. We needed to dispatch them before they could strike.” Alex replied. Trixie had her mouth agape as she looked to the totally annihilated town, dead ponies lay everywhere in the streets.
“But… why did you… kill them?” Trixie gasped. Alex raised an eyebrow.
“You seem… sorrowful for their deaths… you weren’t plotting with them… were you?” He asked in a suspicious voice. Trixie, realizing if she didn’t choose her next words carefully that they would be her last, shook her head.
“No! Absolutely not. I would never associate with… terrormists.” She tried to remember what he had called them. Alex raised a suspicious eyebrow.
“Alright then… so how do I get back to Afghanistan?” He asked curiously and Trixie gulped. She hadn’t researched that part of the spell. She had only trained with the summoning spell and figured that when Twilight and the others saw demons, that they’d submit to her every whim… but she never wanted anything like this.
Trixie pointed out towards the direction of Dodge, to the desert canyons. “That way.” She lied, not knowing what an ‘Afghanistan’ was. Alex helped her up onto the tank just as it began to depart
Back towards the Everfree, a Russian T90 rumbled out and into the apple orchard where the M1 had been only an hour before. The main hatch swung open and a large Russian man peered out.
The man went by the name: Vladimir. He was the tank commander. Standing at 6’4” he barely fit into the tank. “Dmitry! Where are we?” Vlad asked the young driver.
The driver hatch popped open and the young man looked around. “I am not sure commander… we have lost radio frequency with headquarters… they are not responding to our calls.” Dmitry replied.
Dmitry was just barely 24 years old and had recently passed through University with high academic success but had chosen to pursue a career in the army. He enlisted and had become a tank driver.
Vlad cursed to himself. “Well can you guess… I have never seen this forest before.” He replied. The gunner hatch popped open and a third occupant emerged. He was older than the other two, possibly older than both combined, with several deep scars on his face.
“This is no Russian forest… it doesn’t even look like a forest from anywhere near Europe.” The man stated. His name was Ivan. He was built thick and very muscular. One may mistake him for a part time body builder due to his size. He had served in the Russian military during the time of the Russian-Afghan war and had a chip on his shoulder for Afghans and Americans in particular.
Ivan spotted tread marks on the ground despite the pitch black darkness. He unholstered his Makarov pistol and hopped down to the ground in a single hop before pacing over to the tread marks.
“This… is American equipment…” He stated with disgust in his voice.
“How do you know?” Dmitry asked and Ivan pointed to some boot marks in the ground.
“American G.I. tread marks…” He commented before standing and holstering his pistol. They all looked to the distance where the tank tread lead. Vlad peered towards the distance and saw a flickering light over the horizon.
“Ivan, mount up! Dmitry, head towards that flickering light!” Vlad ordered.