//------------------------------// // Robots, a princess, mechromancers, oh my! // Story: Random worlds in equestia two // by ezio dementay //------------------------------// *Screen turns on and the Rosenqueen jingle plays.* “Flonne’s,” Says Flonne popping up from under the desk. “And Luna’s” Say Luna also coming up from under the desk. “Equestria Shopping Network!” they both finish in unison. “Today’s Item Is a special tried and tested Item from the world of Pandora, Deathtrap the super utility robot!” Flonne shouts triumphantly as the camera Pans over to the hovering death machine. “Tired of all those Heavy lifting jobs? Deathtrap with his mighty claws can crush cement and Lift entire carriages making the Harvest season or rock farming a cinch.” Luna says with a wink. “And with his powerful elementally attuned circuitry, he can withstand Extreme heat, cold and even a direct strike from lighting by any clumsy pegasi!” Flonne adds. “HUZZAH! Now you too can own your very own Deathtrap for this low price of 820,000 Bits.” “And if you call us in the next fifteen minutes we’ll send you a stainless dragon bone kitchen knife set and Gutter defragmenter free of charge.” Flonne exclaims showing off the 2 shinning knives. “Just call the Number or order online from Amazombie and own your own Deathtrap Today, See you!” “Warning Rosenqueen is not responsible for any pummelings, cushings, smashings, elemental blasts, deaths, acts of God, acts of Buddha, Communism or dance numbers as a result of Deathtrap.” The impressively fast disclaimer lawyer reads from just off screen. *the screen fades to black* Over the frozen wastelands of pandora, some bandits were getting their asses handed left and right, they were panicking, and getting sliced and diced into piece, and then those pieces would then explode into little red showers of blood, the bandits tried to run, but then a little girl blocked their path and got out a machine gun and mowed them all down in a instant, her machine gun mowed through there bodys like a flaming chainsaw through a bunny, and if the bandits somehow got out of the way of machine gun fire, the robot would slice them up and clap in there face which would create a shock wave that could shatter bones. once all the bandits had been turned into jam and broken bones, the little girl went to the robot and patted it on the head, she had to jump up and pat it on the head, but she was happy to see that her robot had beaten its record of most body parts ripped off or out of a living being “good deathtrap! who’s the greatest cybernetic death machine in all of pandora?” the robot pointed to itself “yes you of course!” she checked a timer on her watch and saw there was still a few minutes before death trap had to disappear for a while, which was annoying, why she programmed a timer into her robot of death. “lets see, we’ve slaughtered 27 bandits” the robot fired a laser at a toilet and blew up a midget that went flying across the sky like screaming firework “28 bandits, we’ve looted 200 guns, and now lets see...i believe its boss time death trap” she got out her machine gun, making sure not to reload, she was not going to lose her anarchy stacks damn it! she ran into the broken ship and was ready to fight, nothing was going to stop her, she was going to kick there... wait a minute... she looked around and saw there we no bad guys, weird, usually she would've killed another psycho or two, she kept walking and walking, getting kinda bored till she heard some rustling from underneath the floorboards and from the ceiling, and she saw... a crud ton of suicide psychos, she wasn’t worried, if she died, she would respawn anyway, no worries, as the suicide psychos feel from the ceiling, she gunned down the ones coming from the floorboards, her plan was deathtrap would kill the ceiling ones, though a problem occurred when deathtrap disappeared and only one thought was going through her head “this is going to hurt” the psychos surrounded her and soon exploded with a powerful boom, body parts flying all across the ship, and a good chunk of pandora too. she had gotten used to being blown up by psychos at this point, so she went to the usual blue respawn light and sat back and relaxed while she “signal error in respawn chamber” she grew nervous, probably just a technical glitch “sending to random coordinates in 3...2...1, have a nice day” and then she felt her body being sent far, far away from pandora. cut to equestria... cadence and her husband shining armour where in a open field together, finally enjoying some alone time together, all week it had been work and orders and stuff, training new guards, laws and such, removing spears out of one ponys spine due him being a idiot, while cadence had to go all around her kingdom, opening a bunch of new hospitals, reading to who knows how many kids, passing laws and such, it was either a boring week or a long hard week, now they could finally relax. as shining got out some sandwiches to eat and cadence ate some apples and grapes, they layed back and relaxed, nothing could ruin this perfect moment of peace and calm, as they looked at each other, they smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but then... a loud explosion from the sky could be heard as they saw something crash into the ground with a thud so powerful it would wake up the sleepiest of dragons, and the most ancient of golems for that matter, and soon what ever feel from the sky crashed into the ground with a massive thud, and all that could be heard from the area of the crash was “Ow that really bloody hurt!” cadence and shining armour went over cautiously to the crash site and saw flaming crater. “where's my freaking gun...there it is” she looked at the damage she just caused and whistled in surprise of how much she caused “wow...thats quite a bit” she checked her heads up display, and found the thing was basically broken, the map was broken and so was her quest displays, all that was working was her skill tree’s and badassery tokens. “who goes there?!” shining leapt into the crater and got out his sword against the creature, using magic to grab several small rocks and preparing to throw them at blistering speeds, but all the lady did was laugh. “ahahaha!!! a talking pony!” she fell on the floor and started to laugh “okay this is a joke” she got back up with shining throwing one of the rocks and it barely missing her head “nice shot” she got out a big shotgun and smiled at him “now for my turn!” she blasted to the shotgun, but shinings quick reflexes blocked all the bullets with his sword. “SHINING!” Cadence yelled, making the lady see her and aiming a shot at her, thinking it was a boss or something, but she noticed the one called shining didn’t attack her, while the weird looking winged and horned pony look at her “now, lets start this over and not kill each other” she said in a calm tone “now, what is you're name?” she smiled at her and put away her shotgun “names gaige, yours?” shining backed up a bit and put his sword away as well, no fighting was going to happen today, well hopefully at least. “gaige? what an odd name, my name is cadence, princess of love” gaige pretended to throw up at hearing that, cadence took that as a bad joke and continued speaking “you're in equestria right now little girl, and you’ve been here for less than five minutes and you have shot at the captain of the royal guard and insulted the princess of love” gaige smiled a little and put his hand on her pistol in case she needed to make a brain splattered unicorn in a second “but...we're starting off on the wrong hoof here, would you care for some food?” she smiled at her, with gaige getting out of the crater. “yeah sounds good” gaige went with the two to enjoy some tasty food, though how was she going to get out this place was anyone's guess, still, could be worse, at least she had her health and kickass robot of death and destruction.