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// Did We Just Get... 
// Story: The Incredibly Interesting Date with the Non-Winning Human 
// by BronyWriter 
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I never thought that one of my best friends in my entire life would be a pony, but I have to admit, Cloud Kicker could be a lot of fun. 

Get your heads out of the gutters. We only tried that once. 

I am, of course, kidding. 

Every Friday over the next few months, Cloud Kicker and I would get together and go to some bar to just talk about our weeks and get a little buzzed. Most nights the two of us would go back to my house and watch one of my movies. We did finally finish Die Hard. 

This particular Friday saw the two of us at the Blue Moon again. It had become out de facto place to hang out. The two of us were just getting started on our first ciders of the evening. It was Cloud Kicker that kicked off the conversation. No pun intended. 

"So, how's the maintenance gig?" she asked. 

I shrugged and sipped my cider. Still as good as ever. "Same old, same old." I grimaced. "Had to deal with another high end restaurant shift. Those upper-class types still think I'm some sort of servant boy."

Cloud Kicker clicked her tongue and sipped her own cider. "You know how it goes with them. They think that they're better than everypony else."

"Yeah, well..." I shrugged. "That's why I employ sarcasm. It keeps me sane."

Cloud Kicker nodded and leaned back in her chair. "So, how about that stuff with Cheerilee and Big Mac last Hearts and Hooves?" A familiar smile crossed Cloud Kicker's face that only came out during one subject. "Do you think they went at it?"

I shook my head and drained the rest of my cider. "I doubt it. The Crusaders kept them pretty far apart. They didn't have time to..." I spun my hand while I thought of the word. "Go at it."

"Pity," Cloud Kicker muttered. "Cheerilee could have had a great night with somepony who was as much of a stallion as Big Mac."

"You would know," I snarked. 

"You'd better believe it," she retorted.

"I guess I started it, but TMI," I grumbled as I motioned for two more ciders. "Still though, I'm curious as to why the Crusaders thought that they needed to get Cheerilee a special somepony in the first place."

Cloud Kicker's lewd smile widened. "Sounds like somepony is jealous."

I glared at Cloud Kicker. "I am not jealous, I'm just saying that what they did is dumb is all." I ran a hand through my hair. "Something could have really gone wrong."

Cloud Kicker shrugged and passed me the second cider as it came over. "They've learned their lesson."

I raised my cider. "Here's hoping." I scoffed and lowered my cider to my lips. "I just hope they don't decide that I need one."

Cloud Kicker frowned and put her cider down. "Why is that? You never want to get married or anything like that?"

"Of course I do." I grimaced and put my cider down. "Or I did. I wanted to get married back on Earth. To a human woman." I sighed and motioned around to the other patrons of the bar. "Of which there are a noticeable absence."

"Not even going to consider a pony as a soul mate, huh?" 

I shook my head. "We have ponies on Earth, and they aren't exactly sentient creatures. If a guy is in love with a pony on Earth he's pretty messed up in the head."

"But we're definitely sapient here," Cloud Kicker pointed out. "Maybe not in the technological sense, but we're definitely as advanced as you are intellect-wise."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but... I dunno, inter-species never did it for me."

There was that lewd smile again. "It's not so bad."

"You would know," I muttered. "I'll take your word for it, though." 

Well, I could say that there was more interesting conversation about my sexuality or anything in that area, but there wasn't. It turned out to be what most Fridays were for us. Small talk that ended with us going back to my house for a movie. I had been reluctant to show her Wolf Creek, but it was the last one that I had and she had definitely expressed interest in human horror. The most interesting thing was the part where Mick Taylor plays... head on a stick with one of the unfortunate victims. That was the only part that made Cloud Kicker flinch as she said that it was pretty accurate. Apparently barbaric things like that were part of pony history. She said something about a Lunar Rebellion. 

Blech. 

But, the night ended like it normally did. We exchanged a good night hug and she tipsily trotted back to her house. I went back inside once she was out of sight and plopped back down on my bed. As was customary, I smiled to myself when I remembered the events of the night. They were never complex. They were just a simple outing where we'd drink and talk. In a crazy world where crazy, and stupid, crap happens to me regularly, it's nice to just have something that's as close to an Earth friendship that I could get. 


*  *  *  *


The next morning saw me up bright and early. I was scheduled to help re-paint town hall's interior, and I wanted to get an early start on that so that I could get to Cheerilee's class. I was teaching them about American presidents today; specifically Johnson to Johnson. 

Before I did, I saw Applejack setting up her stand for the day. She saw me coming and tipped her hat to me, so I walked over to her. "Morning."

"G 'mornin'" she replied. She motioned to her apples. "Care fer one?"

"Well I haven't had breakfast yet," I admitted. I reached into my pocket and tossed a bit into her cash box. I took a rather delicious looking apple off of the top. "Long day ahead of you?"

Applejack nodded and emptied a barrel of granny smith apples into a basket. "'Bout the same. You?"

"Painting town hall." I motioned to my painter's clothes. "Mayor Mare thinks that the color scheme isn't working anymore. On top of that, some of the paint in a few of the rooms are chipping." 

"That's town hall for ya." Applejack chuckled. "Always in need of repair." 

"No kidding," I grumbled. 

I raised the apple to my mouth to take a bite, but I stopped when I saw Cloud Kicker come up the road towards the stand. We exchanged a smile and a greeting nod. "How's it going?" she asked as she approached. 

"Pretty good."

"Nice clothes," she snarked as she tossed a bit onto the counter. "Finally decided to forgo making yourself presentable, huh?"

I rolled my eyes as she picked up her apple. "Oh ha ha." 

The two of us thanked Applejack for the apples and began walking towards town hall. "Rough weather scheduled for today?"

Cloud Kicker shook her head. "Just a shower. It's only for an hour or so anyway." 

"Cool, cool. Clear skies from then on out?" 

Cloud Kicker nodded. "Until next Tuesday's storm. It's pretty simple."

I nodded and raised my apple to my mouth and she did the same. I tilted my head to her. "Bon Appetite."


*  *  *  *


I can't say for sure what happened next. I can only say that the next thing I knew, I was lying in my bed. I glanced over at my alarm clock and saw that it was ten o' clock the next morning. I was still dressed in my painter's clothes, but it didn't look like there was any new splotches on them. Odd. 

Not as odd as the new piece of jewelry that I found on my left ring finger. I noticed it when I went to stretch. It was a simple golden band. It kind of looked like... a wedding ring. Uh...

I was officially beginning to freak out. I bolted up and examined the ring on my finger. I had never seen it before, and I had no idea why it would be on my finger. 

Before I could think of anything else, I heard a groan come from my bed. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened when I saw none other than Cloud Kicker herself sprawled out on the opposite half. I gasped and stumbled backwards. Please tell me we didn't...

I gulped and shook her shoulder. "Uh... Cloud Kicker?"

She muttered something under her breath and opened one eye. "Oh, hey, TD." She sat up and stretched her wings out. To my horror I saw a necklace around her neck with a similar golden band on it. 

No. No no no no no.

"Musta been quite the long movie we watched last night." She scratched her stomach and yawned. "Either that or we drank too much." 

"Cloud Kicker, it's Sunday." 

She raised an eyebrow and got up off of the bed. "Well then..." She frowned and brought a hoof to her lips. Her eyes widened and she took a step back. "Oh no!" She bit her lip and flattened her ears. "Take it from a mare who has experience with this kind of thing, but if the feeling on my lips is any indication... we kind of made out."

I groaned and double facepalmed. "Dammit. If I must say it: dammit. That's just..."

"What's with the ring?" I looked through my fingers at Cloud Kicker. "I didn't know you had one."

"I could say the same thing about you." I pointed to the ring around her neck. "And if I know anything, they aren't just normal rings." 

Cloud Kicker frowned and examined the ring around her neck. "Well then what..." It hit her and she let go of the ring with a gasp. She flinched back, her wings spread out wide. "Did we just get... married?!