//------------------------------// // Super Sniffles // Story: Sneezing Luna Doting Tia // by Wasabi-beans //------------------------------// Big McIntosh ran as fast as he could. The fields bathed in moonlight, and the moment he turned his head back to see his pursuers, he gulped in fear as their shadows began to pick speed. He galloped even harder, but his ears could tell it was no use; the wings and hooves were nipping at his tail. The owners of the shadows leaped. And once again, night after relentless night, Fluttershy and Cheerilee pinned him to the ground, their eyes a hungry gaze. "HAVE YOU FINALLY CHOSEN WHO WILL BE YOUR SPECIAL SOMEPONY!!?" the two mares demanded enthusiastically. Big McIntosh began to perspire at how much their eyes were twitching, how horrible the two have become. "N-n-n-n-n-n-n-nope..." whimpered Big McIntosh. He knew that that won't satisfy them; their tirade began once again, night after relentless night. "I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER!! I'M PRODUCTIVE!" claimed an overly cheery Cheerilee. "Nnope..." whined a frightened Big Mcintosh. "I TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS! YOU LIKE ANIMALS RIGHT!?" screamed an unusually loud Fluttershy. "nnope..." whined Big Mcintosh again. "I'M PERKY AND WILL BE A GREAT FOIL FOR YOUR CALM DISPOSITION!!" yelled Cheerilee. "YOU SUSPECT ME OF STALKING YOU WHILE YOU WERE APPLEBUCKING!" yelled Fluttershy. "I'LL GIVE APPLEBLOOM ALL THE TEST ANSWERS!!" "I HAVE A TREE COSTUME AND WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER WHERE YOU CAN PRETEND TO BUCK ME AND MY APPLE PLUSHIES WILL FALL!!" "WE WERE SCHMOOPY POOS BIG MAC!! SCHMOOPY-DOOBY-DOOOS!!" "YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-" and it kept going and going and going... "Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope...!" no matter how much he pleaded or struggled, the two mares' verbal barrage would not stop. Suddenly, something finally interrupted Big McIntosh's nightmare. From a nearby shrubbery, came an incredible force. "AAAAHHH-CHOOOOO!" The shock-wave shook the very earth. "It's over 9 googolplexes!!" yelled Fluttershy and Cheerilee randomly, and they poofed away. "Urghhh-hurghh..." moaned the sniffling shrub, but rebounded back and spoke more gently, "I mean- greetings, fair and Big MnIntosh. We see that *sniff* thou art troubled indeed. You have been in this predicament *sniff* a great many times before, have you not?" "Err, eeyup?" Big McIntosh said uncertainly. "And what, pray tell, do you think is the reason for this?" gently goaded the magical talking shrub. "Well- Ah' guess-" but before he could say any further, the magical talking shrub suddenly flashed a magical yellow. "There you are, my little sister!" exclaimed a familiarly bell-like voice. And out popped a very red-nosed Princess Luna from the shrub. "Aarghh!" yelled Luna in shock, "Sister! How!? How did you find me here!!?" And who gracefully stepped out of the shrub was none other than the long-legged, beautiful, and enchanting Princess Celestia, with nary a mane nor tail having any shrubbery on it, noticed Big McIntosh. Luna had some on her mane and tail, that, Big McIntosh noticed as well. Celestia giggled beautifully, "Like friendship, my adorable red-nosed baby sister, your sneezes are magic as well," Luna frowned, clearly trying to hold her temper in, though Celestia remained serene, "Yes, yes, I am one of the Elements of Illnesses, ha!," Luna complained, "Now if you would excuse me, I have one of our subjects I need to attend to!" "Oh?" and Celestia turned to approach the stallion, "Hello there, and you are?" she chimed. "Big McIntosh, yer' Highness," he said with a deep bow. "Ah, I was wondering where I've seen such a handsome stallion before!" Celestia chirped, "You are of the esteemed Apple Family! And judging from these surroundings, you live in Ponyville. I daresay you are brother to a certain Applejack?" "Eeyup..." said Big McIntosh shyly and with a smile. "Celestia!" scolded Luna, "Cease making small talk with my current duty this instant!" "Oh, don't mind my silly little sister!" Celestia said playfully to him, "She has the sniffles right now and it is making her temperamen- well, more temperamental than usual," Big McIntosh chuckled at this, "Eeyup," "Since you a sibling like myself, and I sure you can understand that I need take care of my own sibling, come snot nor shine, I shall be there for her," "Eeyup," uttered Big McIntosh sagely. Luna's face was blushing as hard as her snout was a glowering red. "I cannot take this! I cannot tolerate this any longer! Big McIntosh, I will be back for you later! Celestia, I-" And Luna sneezed right in between her sister and the stallion, "-CHOOO!!" Luna sniffled, snot running down again, frown deeper again. "Not. A. Word," And she flew up and teleported away. Celestia sighed, "So stubborn..." "Eeyup," Celestia giggled beautifully again. "I like you, Big Mac, you're honest. Well, I better find her, she has a blanket with her name on it!" But before her horn glowed, she leaned in to whisper to Big MacIntosh, "Actually, it's my old blanket that I'm using to keep her warm," He giggled again. She flew in the air, and with a cute little wave of her hoof, she said, "Toodles!" Her horn then glowed, and she teleported away. Big McIntosh woke up on his bed. He sat up and noticed his alarm clock that showed it was still in the middle of the night. He got out of bed, and went to his desk filled with documents and papers. He reached for his journal and using his mouth, picked up a pen and began to write. Dear Diary, My horrific nightmare of a twisted farce of my dear Cheerilee and Fluttershy appeared again tonight. Oh, how my conflicted thoughts and feelings for my two good friends linger, as if a swarm of Parasprites! But something else transpired, and I have strong faith that what happened just moments ago may indeed be a paradigm shift. About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Princess Celestia was an alicorn. Second, there was a part of her- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be- that would prefer we just remained friends. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her. Sincerely Yours Truly, Big McIntosh. P.S. Toodles.