Heroes and Villains

by One Very Bad Writer


Chapter One: The Pink Prankster

She tried her best, she always did. Being a party clown in Manehatten just wasn't working out for the mare. Once, long ago, she believed that the balloons on her rump told her the truth, that she was destined to throw parties and make ponies smile. So why did it never work? Every party ended in pain and tears every time and.. And she hated it! She.. "I HATE THEM!" she shouted quite suddenly, her hoof striking against the sink before her. Pinkie Pie was surprised by her own strength, a chunk of sink laid on the ground besides her and pain ebbed through her hoof, she could be bleeding. But she didn't care. How could she care?

Every foals party ended with them sobbing, her antics and outfit quoted to be "Scary." and every adult party was called "Childish" every single BUCKING TIME! To put it bluntly, it pissed the pink mare off. More then anything in all of Equestria. With each waking moment of her life she felt the anger wiggle and waggle about in her stomach like a party streamer caught in the wind. At first it had been sorrow, oh that had been even worse for her. The countless days mopping and sobbing in her apartment until her landcolt banged on her door demanding payment, sometimes she had to pay by doing.. Things. Things that made her sick to her stomach.

No more... She had heard long ago, that someponies just wanted to see the world burn. Pinkie Pie wasn't one of those ponies, she knew that. What she wanted was to see ponies smile.. Whether they wanted to or not.

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"Is everypony ready for a PARTAY!" Everypony's head turned to stare at the screaming mare at the Downtown Manehatten Bank. Nopony was really sure what to expect, the night had just begun and thus the bank wasn't exactly populated. Most ponies were just getting up after all. The few ponies in the bank, including two officers of the law stared at the horrific pony before them. Most cringed at her sight, a tattered mare with a straight mane which was a dyed mix of pink and green, her hide was covered in facial makeup giving her a pasty pink-white complexion. Red makeup smeared across her muzzle in a wide grin that almost seemed forced and her cutie mark was a rather malicious set of balloons that seemed to glower at the crowd.

"Uh, ma'am.. Reckon ya got the wr-" The guardpony yelped as the madmare appeared before his face. "How did ya-" he stuttered but the mare shoved a cupcake into his open mouth, once again interrupting him. The overdose of sugar caused the stallion to twitch. He fell back with a thump and his eyes rolled back into his head, the poor sod falling into a sugary coma. "Smile smile SMILE everypony!" the madmare said with a giddy giggle of excitement. She seemed oblivious to the other guardpony that was charging her position but a quick spin on her back hooves and she stood before the guard only for him to slam straight into her patented party cannon. "Can't have a party without STREAMERS!"

PA-POW! An explosion shook the very foundation of the Manehatten bank, streamers, balloons, and an assortment of freshly baked sweets littered the entire bank, the guard that had tried to take the madmare on was now strapped to the wall by streamers and sticky cake batter. He grunted in frusteration and struggled against his bonds to no avail. "Hiya mister, you don't look all that happy. Dontcha worry though, the Pink Prankster will fix that up for ya no problemo!" Some sort of pink smoke enveloped the Guards head, he wanted to scream as the sickly sweet scent filled his nostrils and his mouth, nearly suffocating him.

Instead he found himself laughing, giggling. He couldn't stop. Tears filled his eyes as he tried to fight off the now maniacal laughter that left him. "See! Auntie Pinks can always get a pony to smile!" Her wide grin, which was far too large for her face, was nearly as maniacal as the Guards. He tried begging for it to stop but all he could do was laugh.. And laugh.. And laugh. "I wouldn't do that if I were youu~ My Prankster senses tell me that if ya do, Gummy will be sooo angry!"

The self dubbed Pink Prankster turned to face one of the civilians, this one had patiently and quietly trotted to the door. The moment her hoof touched the entrance it burst open, the door slamming into the unicorn mare's face and sending her skidding across the banks floor. There stood a gator, a massive one at that. The remaining concious (And not laughing psychotically) ponies let out a scream of terror, the unicorn mare from before skittering to the crowd and huddling with them. The large toothless gator regarded the group with disinterest, its large unfocused eyes blinking. One after another. "He's been such a grouchy pants, I mean I can't afford any food for him! Sooo he's had ta eat stuff in the sewer which is SO gross! Icky icky. But now I'll have all the bits I can dream of! Cause you ponies are such kind and generous friends."

The group of ponies flinched at the deranged madmare's words. "Pinks will be right back, dontcha go anywhere now! Gummy will keep ya company!" Gummy stared blankly, no response was given. "Nooo you can't eat them! I promise I'll buy ya a whole nummy cake the size of a house later, ohkay?" Once again Gummy gave his owner nothing but silence, but considering the makeup covered mare's jovial giggle it appeared that the beast agreed with her. After the two came to terms, the Pink Prankster dived into a nearby potted plant.

Less then ten seconds later the group of ponies fearing for their lives were embraced with a sudden hug. "I loooove group hugs!" the madmare had returned, two large bags of bits besides her. "Now dontcha forget, smile smile smile everypony! I'll miss all of you!" POOF! A thick sweet smelling pink smoke enshrouded the victims and the madmare. When it cleared the group of ponies were relieved to find that not only was the insane madmare gone, but so was her pet gator. That relief soon turned into joy, and in such joy they began to laugh. Why the situation was just absurd, wasn't it? Hilarious even. They soon realized they couldn't stop laughing, even when the the police arrived they couldn't stop, even when they were loaded into ambulances and taken to the Manehatten Clinic they couldn't stop. A farm pony thought that It was just so funny, how she, out of all ponies, had the bad luck to get robbed by somepony so.. Hyper! Ha... Ha... Ha.. Hee.. Hee.. Hee.. Ho.. Hoo.. Ho!..

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Pinkie Pie laid atop of Gummy, warm rivulets of water washing away her makeup from her hide and face. Gummy was gnawing on his treat, a big bacon cake. She knew how hard it was for him to eat meat without his teeth so she made it into a cake. Sure the water from the shower was ruining it a bit but the gator was more then pleased and she could tell. Even she felt more then pleased, her stash of bits was enough to move out of this dingy apartment and get a real home. Her heart was beating at the prospect, her own home.. Perhaps a big bakery, where she would finally be happy.

Her eyes gazed at the outfit that was strewn across the floor of her bathroom. It wouldn't be exciting though. A heated blush crossed her cheeks as she recalled the thrill! The feeling of all those ponies cowering in her presence before giggling happily. So much laughter, it was sweet music to her ears. A pleasant melody to start the night. She would skip work today, no, she would quit. Why even bother? She was filthy stinking rich.

One of Gummy's unfocused eyes stared at her and for a moment Pinkie tensed up. "Right.. Yeah I guess I do need to lay low, you're such a smarter martie! Didya know that Gummikins?" Gummy's tail smacked against the wet floor as Pinkie Pie gave him a hug, her fur drenched in warm water. Her life was going to get better, no.. Not better. Perfect, and the fun would never end. Ever.