//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 
// Story: The Animation Bureau 
// by Chaotic Dreams 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 4
“Hold still!” 
“I can’t see!”
“Quiet or they’ll catch us!”
“Uh, guys?” Lauren chuckled. “You’re all in disguise, and we aren’t even at the Bureau yet. You don’t have to hide from the general populace of Hollywood, especially not in a potted plant at the mall.”
“Oh, sorry,” Twilight laughed, embarrassed. “It’s just that this is our first real reconnaissance mission, and it’s so exciting! It’s just like one of my novels!”
“Yeah, like Daring Do sneaking into Ahuizotl’s secret lair to retrieve some priceless ancient magical thingamajig!” Rainbow Dash added enthusiastically. “This is gonna be awesome!”
“I’m sure it will, but for now you’re getting more looks hiding than you would be if you just walked down the street like the rest of the nine million people in LA,” Lauren explained—again. “Half of hiding in an urban setting is blending in with the populace. Act like everyone else is acting, and nobody will pay you much attention.”
“Really?” Fluttershy asked hopefully. “If I had known that, I would’ve acted like everypony else years ago!”
“Not to the extent that you lose your own identity, mind you,” Lauren laughed again. “But seriously, if we’re going to get to the Bureau before nightfall, then we can’t have you ponies hopping from hiding place to hiding place!”
Lauren sighed, but smiled at the same time. It was great to have friends who truly wanted to help her, it really was—but the ponies had a lot to learn before they fit in on Earth. From the moment the group had geared up and stepped out through another Portable Hole linking Lauren’s Safe House on a cliff overlooking Paradise Falls, South America, to a shady back room in an abandoned warehouse in Los Angeles, California, the ponies had been overawed at the sheer size and diversity of Earth life. So much, in fact, that they stood out like a sore thumb—er, hoof—with a neon sign saying “I AM CONSPICUOUS!”
“Okay, Lauren, if you say so,” Fluttershy said uncertainly. Apparently the idea of never being noticed again quite appealed to the pony. Lauren made a mental note to get her some of ACME’s Invisible Ink... or maybe just a confidence boost.
The group continued their trek through the mall shortcut Lauren had directed them down after herding the ponies out from the middle of the street, where the mares hadn’t known to not try and avoid cars—causing a major traffic jam when the group attempted to cross the boulevard. The revving automobiles still scared Fluttershy, and Lauren had no doubt that the little pony would probably have nightmares about them for years to come.
But enough of the inconveniences of introducing Animated beings from an unconnected world to Earth—they had a mission to complete. 
Walking out with the crowd of humans and Animated beings alike into the bright California sun on the other side of the mall, the group was assaulted by the glaring heat of the summer sky…and the skyline-dominating form of the Animation Bureau.
Towering above the group, the Bureau looked like an Escher drawing on acid mixed with a bit of Alice in Wonderland for good measure. The Bureau claimed that the bizarre design of their headquarters was a result of all the Animated radiation the facility had to deal with, being the governing body on all Animated-and-Earth related affairs and all, but Lauren knew better. The design, which never looked the same twice, even between blinks, was tricky in order to dissuade and confound anyone who tried to break in and make-off with the facility’s extensive array of top-secret files, portal technology, and the world’s only Maximum Security Detention Center for the Animated. Only the worst of the worst were kept there, and woe was Earth should they ever escape.
Lauren gulped, thinking how her new friends would probably be locked up in torture cells down there in the Bureau’s basement with the rest of the criminal scum were she to have left them behind, unprotected, in Equestria. Then again, Lauren WAS now taking them right into the heart of that very facility anyway, even if the mares were disguised as various species of Pokémon. There were so many of the pocket monsters, with new ones being discovered all the time, that Lauren knew even the Animation Bureau couldn’t keep track of them all—including the ones the ponies were disguised as. 
But that didn’t exactly make it easier for the human to lead her new friends into what could very well be, if those disguises somehow failed, a deathtrap. 
Lauren gulped, wondering what she had gotten these poor innocents into.
“You alright, Lauren?” Applejack wondered, a concerned look on her face. “You look right nervous!”
“I’m fine, AJ,” Lauren said quickly, composing herself so that none of the other ponies could see the fear in her eyes. “Just…be careful in there, okay?”
“You can count on us, Lauren!” Applejack affirmed. “Don’t worry about us!”
The group strode—and trotted—through the front doors of the Bureau to see the impossibly large room (like most things related to the Animation Bureau, it was bigger on the inside) that served as a reception area. Human clerks saw to humans and Animated beings alike trying to access information or paperwork from the Bureau, such as the proper forms required to have an Animated being in one’s employment or inter-world passes. Lauren looked longingly at the single line for the latter item. Even though she travelled through the portals nearly every day as an Agent—or at least, Lauren had back when she had still been an employee—civilian travel was expensive and only the rich could really afford it. Lauren had been saving up the money to buy passes for some very special civilians, but now that she had gone rogue and was in the eyes of the corrupted Bureau a criminal, that life-long dream to see some of her only true friends on Earth return to their home worlds was dashed forever…unless she could reveal the Director for what he really was.
“Gosh darn-it, this place is BIG!” Applejack marveled, looking so far up at the ceiling that she fell backwards. 
“Some of the inner-levels are like labyrinths,” Lauren agreed. “People have gotten lost in there and never seen again. The fact that in addition to being bigger on the inside the Bureau is constantly changing didn’t help the search parties, who presumably became equally lost.”
“This place is scary,” Fluttershy commented, suddenly darting to hide from whoever might be looking behind Lauren’s legs. 
“Are you kidding?!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “This place is AMAZING! I could fly around in here forever and never see the same place twice!” 
“I know, isn’t it so invigorating?” Twilight agreed. “There must be so much magic at work here, I could spend a lifetime studying it all!”
“And I must admit,” Rarity added. “Though I initially found thought the concept of a constantly changing building reminded me a little too much of a certain tacky draconequus, the possibilities for a new architectural style everyday are very intriguing!”
“I think it’d be the perfect place to throw a PARTY!” Pinkie Pie announced, jumping in the air. Due to the complete mockery of physics at work in the Bureau (or perhaps simply the complete mockery of physics that was Pinkie Pie), the pink party pony floated down much slower than she had jumped up, like a feather falling through thick air.
“All of that will have to wait for another day,” Lauren instructed the team, trying to keep her new friends focused. “Remember, we’re not here to sight-see—we’re here on a mission!”
“Right,” the ponies suddenly stood at attention, saluting. The display was quite surprisingly impressive coming from Animated ponies, or at least it would’ve been if Pinkie hadn’t fallen over in the attempt.
Lauren couldn’t tell whether to laugh or simply perform the act she had heard the ponies refer to as a ‘facehoof.’
“Alright, then—everyone have their ‘special’ ID’s?” Lauren asked, and was rewarded to see each pseudo-Pokémon hold out the fake security passes she had had a contact of hers make for the occasion. How they managed to hold the cards in their hooves was another matter entirely, but in her long experience of working with the Animated she had learned that it was best not to think too much about it. Every Bureau worker heard the stories of the scientists who’s heads had literally exploded from combinations of too much Animated radiation exposure and too much dwelling on how Animated beings could stand in the air after walking off a cliff as long as they didn’t realize they had done so by looking down. “Good. Let’s go!”
Lauren marched towards one of the many employee doors that led to the workstation areas of the Bureau, the ponies following in a line behind her. Swiping her own counterfeit card through the security scanner, Lauren held her breath, but the scanner blinked green and the door clicked open, allowing her to pass. Lauren let out a relieved sigh and passed through, the others following shortly after.
The workstations and offices and portal hangars of the Bureau were all linked by a series of seemingly endless (and given the nature of the Bureau, ‘endless’ wasn’t entirely impossible) hallways. No physical accurate map of the Bureau had ever been made, or at least not one that had been accurate for more than five seconds. The Bureau was constantly changing, and any maps would have to change with them—and so the APS’ were invented. One of Professor Von Drake’s many inventions to be counted among the Bureau’s impressive Animated arsenal, the Animated Positioning Systems were small handheld boxes that vaguely resembled square mixes of cellphones and miniature televisions.
Lauren picked up one of the APS units from the shelf opposite the employee entrance and motioned for the ponies did the same.
“What’s this doohickey?” Applejack inquired, holding hers up for inspection.
“It looks like one of the TV things you humans use to watch us in our worlds,” Rainbow Dash observed. “That ‘watching us’ thing still gives me the creeps, by the way.”
“I don’t blame you,” Lauren said. “These are special devices that can lead you almost anywhere in the Bureau you want to go, so be careful not to lose them. Getting lost is pretty easy in the Bureau, but getting found is very hard.”
“But how’s a little black box supposed to tell us where to go?” Twilight wondered, holding hers up to her face with her telekinesis as if she could read it like one of her books. 
“Just press the button at the bottom and you’ll see—but only one of you activate your boxes,” Lauren told them. “These extras are just in case we get separated; we’re going to the same place, so we really only need one.”
“Okey-dokey-loki!” Pinkie exclaimed, jabbing her APS’ button. Instantly the screen sprang to life, filled with the image of an elderly bespectacled duck with an excited look in his eyes.
“Are we recording?” Asked the duck, his voice coming out of the box. “Right now?”
“Whoa!” Rainbow Dash jumped back. “It really IS like a TV!”
“Yes, we’re recording, say your lines!” said another voice in the background whose owner wasn’t in the view of the screen. 
“Hello there,” the duck announced to the screen. “I am Professor Von Drake, one of the head scientists here at the Animation Bureau. You are now holding a Von Drake-brand Animated Positioning Locator. Simply tell the device where you want to go, and a map will appear on the screen while directions are told to you by yours truly. Keep in mind that some levels and rooms of the Bureau require a special security pass, while some levels and rooms are deliberately left out of the mapping program.”
Professor Von Drake’s image stopped moving for a moment, as if waiting for something. 
“What’s it doing now?” Twilight asked.
“It’s not doing anything!” Pinkie announced. “He’s just standing there, looking at me all creepy.”
“We’d like to go to the VG Department, Professor,” Lauren told the box.
“Righty-ho, then!” Professor Von Drake suddenly announced, causing all the ponies to leap back. “Please walk forward, and then take the first left…”
“This way!” Lauren motioned, and the ponies eagerly followed her, not wanting to get lost in this maze of Animation. 
“Hey Lauren,” Twilight, ever inquisitive, spoke up. “What’s the ‘VG Department?’”
“You see,” Lauren explained as the group rounded another bend, this time walking from what looked like a hallway one would find in the Flintstone’s house into one that appeared to be made entirely of cheese. “The Animation Department’s main goal—or at least, the main goal it’s SUPPOSED to have—is to oversee anything to do with the portals. The facility is called the Animation Bureau because the first worlds we encountered were cartoons that we’d already seen, but had never thought it possible to venture into. After that, the general thought was that only Animated worlds could be reached through the portals, until the Research Department discovered alternate kinds of worlds. These worlds were quite different from the Animated universes, and so they got their own Department to be studied and overseen by. The VG field is still relatively young compared to Animation, and only a few VG worlds have yet been found, but whatever comes out of a VG world falls under the VG Department’s jurisdiction.”
“But what does ‘VG’ stand for?” Twilight wanted to know.
“Oh, sorry,” Lauren apologized. “I keep forgetting you guys don’t know about Earth’s popular culture. ‘VG’ stands for—”
“Well it’s about f***in’ TIME!!!!” shouted an angry voice as Lauren and the ponies rounded the final corner to see a tall, skinny, glasses-wearing young man in a button-up white shirt and dress pants. “I’ve been waiting here for like four f***in’ hours, Lauren! Not to mention that your whole ‘plan’ sounds like a s***load of f***ed-up craziness!”
“Who is THAT?!” Fluttershy screamed, nearly having a heart attack and darting behind Lauren’s legs for safety again.
“And how is he doing those things with his mouth?” Rainbow wondered. “We can’t do that back in Equestria, but it sounds like it would be cool if we could!”
“Rainbow!” Rarity, gasped, clearly appalled. “I don’t know what that human is uttering, but it certainly sounds like the most vulgar of offenses!”
“Uh, hello!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “That’s what makes it so cool!”
“Nice to see you too, James,” Lauren smiled. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have met under better circumstances. 
“Yeah, well it’s not like I didn’t see this coming,” James sighed. “I’ve thought that a***hole Director guy was creepy as f*** for years, but of course, NOBODY listens to the nerd!”
“I do,” Lauren said, embracing the youth, whose quivering rage seemed to disappear momentarily as he returned the hug. “Why else would you be the only one I trust with this information?”
“You mean he knows about the Director?!” Twilight exclaimed. “I thought you said there was nopony we could trust!”
“Well f*** you too, a**hole!” James spat.
“You’d better watch the way you talk to my friends!” Rainbow threatened, dashing up to stare the self-proclaimed nerd in the face. “Even if the way you talk is way-awesome!”
“Nopony—I mean, nobody—but Mr. James Rolfe here,” Lauren said. “Everyone, meet the VG Department’s number-one scientist!”
“How many times do I have to tell you, I’m only the assistant manager of the division!” James insisted, though it was clear he was pleased with the compliment. 
“James and I go way back to the Animation Bureau training courses,” Lauren explained. “He’d never betray us. James, these are my new friends and currently the rest of the resistance against the Director, besides you. You were right, after all.”
“I f***in’ told you so!” James laughed. “So what are you all supposed to be, a bunch of midget horses disguised as Digimon?” 
“That’s ‘pony’ to you, mister!” Rainbow corrected. “And we’re dressed up like Pokémon!”
“That explains it,” James chuckled. “Well, come on in. I have to warn you, though, the working conditions of the VG Department are a piece of s***, but it’s still home sweet f***in’ home.”
James pushed through the doors he had been standing in front of and led Lauren and the ponies inside the biggest room any of them had ever seen—if it could even be called a ‘room’ at all, for the VG Department was complete with blue sky, clouds, and even a shining sun…that had a face.
“Yee!” Fluttershy freaked. “The sun is WATCHING US!”
“It sure as f*** is,” James agreed. “Pretty much every f***in’ thing in the Mushroom Kingdom has eyes on it.”
“Mushroom Kingdom?” Twilight echoed. “I thought we were in the VG Department. And nopony has told me what ‘VG’ stands for yet!”
“The Mushroom Kingdom was moved to Earth from its home world to serve as a base of operations for the VG Department,” James explained, seeming to leave his profanities behind as he launched into lecture mode. “And ‘VG’ stands for Video Games.’”
“What’s a ‘video game?’” Pinkie Pie wondered aloud. 
“What…is…a…video…game…?” James suddenly stood stock still, and the others ran into the nerd in a line. “WHAT IS A VIDEO GAME?!”
“Oh, no,” Lauren sighed. “Here we go.”
“A video game is the single most f***in’ awesome thing ever created by mankind!” James exploded. “How can you not know what a VIDEO GAME is?!”
“Well, we didn’t exactly know what mankind was until earlier this morning,” Twilight pointed out.
“Simple things like purely reasonable facts are no excuse for you not to have any appreciation for the ambrosia of entertainment that is the video game!”
“Earth to James!” Lauren shouted in the nerd’s ear. “Less than .01% of all possible realities know what video games are, and you know it!” 
“And that’s precisely what I’m fighting against!” James protested. “The wide-spread ignorance of video games! Everyone should be able to enjoy these gifts!”
“But…that still doesn’t answer my question,” Pinkie Pie pointed out. 
“Allow me,” Lauren said. “If James here explains it it’ll take hours. 
“Hours wouldn’t begin to scratch the surface!” James insisted.
“Video games are a lot like cartoons—” Lauren began.
James snorted.
“—but are considered as a separate type of world because, for the most part, they follow separate rules of physics. All worlds have unique physics, but the physics of video game worlds have a more distinct quality than the vague guidelines of Animated worlds. For example, where Animated beings usually can’t die no matter how roughly they take a beating, video game beings can die. But, every time they die, they come back as if they had never died at all. It is for this and other reasons that beings from video game worlds are called Digital beings instead of Animated beings.”
“You mean they can die but never be dead?” Rainbow Dash whistled, amazed. “That’s super-awesome!”
“I wouldn’t say so,” Lauren cautioned. “It still hurts immensely each time they die, and Digitals can never actually rest in peace unless their entire world ends.”
“Has that ever happened?” Applejack gulped nervously. “And could it ever happen to an Animated world, like Equestria?”
“More times than we’d like to count,” Lauren admitted. “That’s why Agents exist—to make sure that inter-world relations don’t upset the balance of things. Beings who exist under one set of physics in a universe run by a completely different set of physics can lead to some rather large problems.”
“Then why let beings cross over into new worlds at all?” Rarity asked.
“Because those are rare cases, and more often than not assistance from the Animation Bureau has actually saved worlds from being destroyed by beings who already lived there,” Lauren explained. “For the most part, inter-world interaction is a good thing—it’s allowed medicine from one world to perform beneficial impossibilities in another, or evils who would, if left unchecked, ruin their own worlds, be stopped by an alliance of Animated beings and humans.”
“Wow,” Applejack breathed. “It sounds like a pretty good system—too bad Equestria couldn’t join it before this here Director feller messed things up for everypony.”
“But how are video games and Digitals supposed to help us take down the meanie-pants?” Pinkie wanted to know.
“That’s where James comes in,” Lauren said. “James?”
“Digital worlds are a fledgling science,” the nerd launched into lecture mode, surprisingly keeping it free of profanities. “So the Bureau still hasn’t figured out all that Digital beings and Digital equipment can do. There are still gaping holes in Bureau security that no Animated being or human can get past, but that the right Digital gear can blow into a billion pieces. I’ll be supplying you with an arsenal of Digital gadgets and whatnot that you can use to access the Top Secret Classified Don’t-Ever-Read-These-If-You-Want-To-Live Files.”
The ponies stared at the nerd for a moment.
“I’m f***in’ serious,” James insisted. “That’s what they’re called.”
“And what do we find in these fancy files?” Applejack questioned further.
“In the files we’ll find any personal records of this ‘Senior Circle’ and the Director himself,” Lauren finished the explanation. “And with the right information, we can expose to the rest of the government and the rest of the worlds what the Animation Bureau’s really up to.”
“All right then,” said Rainbow Dash, eager to get started on what she correctly assumed would be a daring mission. “Let’s see these Digital weapons, and then let’s take down the Director!”
“For Equestria!” shouted Twilight. 
“For video games!” shouted James.
“For all worlds everywhere!” added Lauren, playing along in the mood of the moment.
“For you all to stop shouting!” Fluttershy pleaded.
. . .