//------------------------------// // S1Ep1: Leak // Story: High and Dry // by Artaelian //------------------------------// After her coronation as Princess, Twilight Sparkle was tired. She was tired of the attention given to her as the newest alicorn and princess of Equestria, she was tired of being followed and questioned by admiring ponies who could see themselves following the same path as her and reaching a high status as she had. More importantly, and of higher priority than the other two, she was tired of not being able to get a simple daisy sandwich anymore. It was now a fact of her life. Every time she went to a restaurant, she could not order a daisy sandwich. She’d sit down, either with Spike or her friends, the waiter would come along, the order of her companion would be taken (this usually varied by how many were with her), and then attention would be turned to her. She’d order the daisy sandwich, and then watch as the waiter had a brain meltdown. This was currently the case right now, and she sighed. The waiter was standing there, clearly not breathing as his brain tried to process the fact that a princess had asked for a sandwich, the food of ‘commoners’. She counted to three in her head, and upon reaching three, the waiter collapsed to the floor, his body taking a breath for him. A few of his co-worked rushed over and dragged him away, with apologies given to Princess Twilight. When they had gone into the kitchens to try and bring their co-worker back to his senses, Twilight let her head hit the table. “I’m not getting a daisy sandwich, am I?” she questioned. “Well, it’ll probably have daisy on the side. Maybe if you’re lucky, the daisies will be in it. But as for the presence of bread around the daisy? You’d have more luck licking Princess Luna’s flank and finding it tasted like cheddar cheese.” Spike said flatly. Twilight glared at him, but knew full well he was right. It was always the same. At some point in the back, they would bring the waiter out of shock, they would mutter her companion’s order correctly, and then mention they believed that Princess Twilight had asked for a daisy sandwich. The chef would then interpret what they believed she had actually said, the end result being something fit for a princess, but not what she actually wanted. Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Spike’s gemstone pasta arrived, and her mystery order sat under a silver dish. The replacement waiter (because the one that took the order by now was usually out the back, going through whatever it was they used to relax, probably by the wagonload) lifted the dish up and revealed what the chef had interpreted the order to be this time. “And for her highness, meadow omelette, cheese mixed with egg, daisy, daffodil, lettuce, broccoli and cauliflower. Enjoy your meal.” the waiter bowed and departed. Well, at least it did have daisy in it this time. -- Princess Luna and Prince Blueblood currently stood before Princess Celestia in her throne room. Celestia stared at the both, clearly unimpressed, while Luna currently dripped custard from her main to the floor, and Blueblood currently stood as a literal meaning. His coat was currently dyed blue, and he had been given a bloody snout. “Luna, Blueblood,” Celestia sighed, “in turn, you shall explain what exactly happened, and more importantly, why the north wing has to be repainted. Blueblood?” He took a deep breath. “Aunthe Luna stharted it,” Blueblood begun, trying to speak with the pain in his snout and revealing several missing teeth he’d probably get replaced with tax money, “all aeh did wath menthion thatht aeh wasth hafing a sthip builtf that wath bigger thath herth.” Celestia had to repress a chuckle at the disgust Blueblood had on his face. It was certain he was thinking he now sounded like a commoner, and in normal circumstances, she enjoyed when he had such thoughts. She turned her head to Luna, who had been laughing at how stupid Blueblood sounded, but had stopped when her older sister had turned to look at her. “It’s true, six months ago, HMS Canterlot was finished, and now he tells me that next week, his newly commissioned ship, HMS Aurora will launch for a cruise of the world. Clearly he did this to prove to the nobles that he is better than me, because everypony knows how small his st-” “LUNA!” Celestia yelled. “What? It’s true, the bigger they make thing, the smaller their mare pleaser!” Luna replied, sticking a tounge out at Blueblood. “Aeh nefer! AMTH Awrwra wath commithoned twu yearth ago!” Blueblood stated, highly offended by Luna’s remarks. “And yet you choose to only mention its launch to me now. You’ll excuse me if I don’t believe you.” Luna retorted. “But ith wath in tha budgwt reportth you sthigned!” Luna’s eyes grew small, as she suddenly recalled Blueblood handing her a document soon after her return, requesting permission to build something. She had been all too happy to try and please her subjects after her return that she hadn’t paid it much attention at the time. Slowly, her eyes fell on Celestia, who was looking at her through half lidded eyes. “Ops?” “Yes Luna, ops. To save us some money, I’ll make your punishment to repaint the north wing, no magic or flying either.” Celestia said, waving a hoof to dismiss the pair. “But sister! It’ll take me a whole year to repaint that! I had Discord specially make the paint bomb! It made sure the paint would get into every last gap, even the ones not visible to the eye!” Luna protested. “You’d better find some white paint and get started now. I’m not doing this to be spiteful, but you have to be punished for this.” Celestia said warmly. “And it thure beatth gowing to tha moon.” Blueblood threw in, causing Luna to throw a hoof into his snout again. As the guards held Princess Luna back, and two dragged Blueblood away to safety, Princess Celestia turned her attention to the doors of the throne room being opened. Through them, Twilight Sparkle walked in, clearly unhappy. “Twilight, what’s the matter?” Celestia asked. “I can’t get a simple daisy sandwich anymore.” Twilight answered. Silence fell between the two, as Celestia wondered if there was a hidden message she should have known about in what the newest princess had said. “What do you mean?” “I mean when I go get food, I ask for a daisy sandwich, the waiter has a nervous breakdown, and I get anything except what I’d ordered. Why can’t I just have the sandwich? It can’t be that hard to put daisies between two slices of bread and put it in front of me!” Twilight cried out. It was now very clear to Celestia that Twilight was indeed talking about a sandwich, and it wasn’t a codeword for something she hadn’t remembered to share with everypony else. “I take it you are so far not enjoying life as a princess?” Celestia questioned. “I thought it’d be great,” Twilight admitted, “the press following me around all the time I can get used to, they tend to stay hidden so I can forget about them. All the ponies admiring me I’ve gotten used to, because I’ve inspired them to reach for goals others have told them to be impossible to reach. But to have gone three months without a daisy sandwich, at the very restaurant I like going to...” Twilight sat down and lowered her head with a sigh. “Three months since I last had a daisy sandwich, three months, its like I ate the last daisy sandwich in the world and now everyone has had a major case of idiocy and forgotten what a daisy sandwich is!” As Twilight waited for Celestia to reply, the older alicorn just smiled. To the side, where Blueblood had been taken to, he currently wore a look of disgust, that Princess Twilight wanted so desperately to eat commoner food. As he watched Celestia and Twilight talk, an idea begun to form in his head. And for once in his life, a lightbulb went off in his head. Paying no attention to the doctor that had levitated a white board, marker pen and eraser with the instructions to write what he wanted to say instead of speak for the next few months, Blueblood took the items and walked over to the two princesses. They both watched his arrival, and the whiteboard as he begun to write. ‘Would you like to go on a cruise, upon a state of the art ship?’ he wrote. “Uh, I’m not sure.” Twilight replied. ‘You seem stressed, a cruise would do you some good.’ he scribbled on the whiteboard. “I guess, could I bring my friends with me?” Twilight asked. ‘Of course, why should I deny you what you want to take on the cruise? Take as many servants as you wish.’ “Friends,” Twilight stated coolly, “and would I be able to get a daisy sandwich?” Blueblood’s eyes glowed. ‘If you wish it, you could have mountains of them every day.’ Twilight begun to smile, and somewhere in the distance, the sound of a ‘squee’ echoed across the land in time to the arrival of her smile. ------------------------------------ One Week Later Twilight, Spike and her friends stared gawping at the HMS Aurora at dock. In the week since she had personally been invited by Prince Blueblood to sail, Twilight had read up on the Aurora, reading that it could easily sit in Canterlot and be mistaken for a new district. In effect, it was a third of a city in size, and it dwarfed Ponyville. It had been rather easy to get Rarity to agree to the cruise, for a reason Rarity had kept to herself. It was clear though as she had ran off after the news that it wasn't because she wanted to meet Blueblood and try to win his affections, and before they had left, Twilight had unpacked all of Rarity’s bags to make sure no weapons of any sort were in them. The rest of her friends hadn't been so easy. Pinkie Pie, after understanding what a cruise actually was, and that it wasn't a huge baked goods eating festival, hadn’t been so eager to leave Sugarcube Corner on the grounds of wanted to help her employers and look after their foals. It was only by the Cakes deciding that Pinkie should take some of her unused vacation time (which amounted to about five years in total), that the pink mare had agreed to go. Rainbow Dash had literally seen no point, four weeks cramped in a ship and unable to fly. Twilight had only changed her mind when she mentioned that the Aurora had a Wonderbolt certified obstacle course. No sooner had the words left her mouth that the door to the library gained an outline of Rainbow Dash and the rainbow contrail leading to the sky was left behind. Fluttershy was unwilling to go and leave her animals behind. Nothing Twilight could think of would change the yellow pegasus’ mind. But a day later, Fluttershy had turned up, informing Twilight that she could go, because someone had agreed to take care of the animals while Fluttershy was away. Applejack was just as unwilling to take the cruise as Fluttershy. Even up to the night before, she had been stubborn and determined to stay at the farm. Currently, she was struggling against ropes that bound her hooves together, attempting to cut them on the edge of the bags that her brother had brought his bound sister to the dock with. Twilight took a deep breath of the air, and felt herself relaxing. ----------- “Welcome aboard the HMS Aurora, fillies and gentlecolts! I am your captain, Captain Daybreeze, and I hope you enjoy the maiden voyage of the ships. We will be touring the griffon kingdom and northern Equestria, before returning to Canterlot. If you require assistance or emergency assistance, please locate a member of the crew or use the nearby terminals if none are nearby. Please find your cabins, and we shall be departing shortly.” As Twilight headed off to her room, Rainbow Dash attempted to cheer Applejack up by suggesting they tried to find the Wonderbolts certified obstacle course, where Applejack could sit around and watch Rainbow. Twilight unpacked her belongings from the suitcase. She had been given a luxury suite which put her home to shame. A large king sized bed, which overlooked a small bookcase and desk, and sat opposite the large glass doors which led out to balcony. In an adjoining room, there was a whirlpool bath large enough for twenty ponies and a toilet. Of course, Spike would be sharing the same room, but he had insisted on his usual sleeping arrangement which she had brought with them. Her friends had rooms all close to her, where she assumed they all currently were. Feeling tired from having woken up early in excitement, Twilight placed the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the outside of her door, closed the curtains over the glass doors and lay upon the king sized bed, and fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of daisy sandwiches piled high like towers. ------ Applejack scowled as she watched the other passengers from the deck chair she had taken. The nearby passengers stayed at least twenty chairs away either side, and any approaching the empty chairs surrounding Applejack glanced at her, and actually ran away crying. The only thought on her mind was how to punish Big Mac when she got home from the cruise. Nearby, Rainbow Dash attempted to walk to Applejack, only to be stopped by one of the crew. “Sorry miss, I’d advise finding deck chairs elsewhere.” they said. “I’m not going for a deck chair, I’m going to talk to my friend.” Rainbow replied, raising an eyebrow. The crew member looked around at the passengers and Applejack, then turned to Rainbow again. “Which one is your friend?” they asked. “Uh, the one with the hat and apples on the flank.” Rainbow stated, rolling her eyes. “Really?” The crew member asked, glancing at Applejack. “Yes, really.” “Are you utterly sure? The one that looks like she could beat up a mountain with a toothpick and turn it into gravel?” “Yes.” Rainbow sighed. “The one that has made foals, mares and full grown stallions run away crying as if they’d just met Death face to face?” Rainbow grabbed the crew member’s face and forced him to look at her. “Yes, THAT one is my friend. Now stop asking, your more annoying than a foal who’s favourite word ever is ‘why?’ and has suicidal parents.” Rainbow snapped, pushing past the crew member. “I’m so sorry for you. If you get killed, who do I inform?” Rainbow resisted the urge to beat the crew member senseless, and walked over to Applejack. “Heya AJ, how are you?” Rainbow questioned, smiling and noting to not mention what the crew member had just said. “Angrier than a hornets nest.” Applejack replied, not moving her gaze from straight ahead. Silence fell between the two, Applejack planning a new use for various farm tools and various body parts of Big Mac. Rainbow meanwhile felt uneasy. “So uh, do you want to go do something? Maybe swimming?” she suggested. “Hm, not a bad idea, I could tie a boulder to Big Mac and push him into the lake, no one would ever know.” “Ok,” Rainbow rubbed her mane, “not swimming. There’s a gym on board, want to go check it out?” Rainbow was relieved to see Applejack smiling and getting up off the deckchair. “Sure, why not?” Applejack smiled at Rainbow. “That’s the spirit! Come on!” Rainbow trotted ahead. “I can get some exercise in to strangle Mac with my bare hooves.” Applejack’s grin turned dark. As she begun to follow Rainbow Dash, she was stopped by a sudden pink blur that hopped past her. “Heya Applejack! Want to come find some cupcakes?” Pinkie asked. “Eh nah, me and Dash are looking for the gym.” Applejack answered, continue to follow after Rainbow. “Oh ok. I tried to go swimming, but wouldn’t you know it? The pool was empty, so I tried filling it and it stayed empty! I’ve been trying to fill it for an hour without luck, so I just gave up.” Applejack froze. She slowly turned back to face Pinkie. “Um, so where did the water go?” Applejack asked, almost dreading what she would hear next. “I dunno! Do ships have holes in them so the water goes back out?” As the alarms begun, Applejack’s eye twitched. ------ Twilight was startled awake in the evening, to the sound of alarms. Shaking her head, her hearing quickly returned. ‘Abandon Ship! Abandon ship! This is not a drill!’ a computer-like voice called out. Jumping out of bed, Twilight ran to the door, throwing it open to find Rainbow Dash almost ready to break it open. “What’s going on?” Twilight shouted over the alarm. “Long story, big misunderstanding with Pinkie Pie and the swimming pool, we’re all alone!” Rainbow Dash answered, attempting to push Twilight towards the stairs to the top deck. The air was filled with an electrical popping as the alarm system failed. Suddenly washed in silence, Twilight felt slightly disorientated as the ringing caused by the alarm system continued. “What do you mean we’re all alone?” -- On the top deck, Twilight stared in disbelief. She knew the Aurora would leave Canterlot via hot air balloon, and land somewhere in the eastern sea, where they currently were, but there were no crew or passengers on the ship, and all lifeboats had been taken. Only Twilight, Spike and her friends remained on the Aurora. Among them, Pinkie Pie looked embarrassed, putting on a weak smile and rubbing one front leg against the other. Slowly, Twilight turned to face Pinkie. “Pinkie. WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?” Twilight yelled. “I wanted to go swimming.” Pinkie replied. “But how did that cause the crew and passengers to abandon ship and leave us all alone?” “I needed to fill it first, it was empty.” Pinkie replied, as if it explained everything. “I’m not sure I follow.” Twilight stated. “The water flowed out faster than Pinkie could put it in.” Rarity informed Twilight. “Oh.” “It flooded the decks and begun to build up at the bottom of the ship. The crew thought there was a leak and couldn’t find the source.” Rainbow Dash added. “Oh.” “They told the captain, and he gave the order to abandon ship. Of course, by now, Pinkie,” Applejack glared at the offending pink mare, “had worked out the pool wasn’t filling, and had given up and walked away to look for a cupcake, so none of the crew saw that somepony had been attempting to fill it.” Twilight sighed. The relaxation she had felt before going to sleep was now long gone. “I just have one thing to say about this.” Twilight said. “What’s that Twi?” Applejack asked. “I’m not getting a bucking daisy sandwich anytime soon, am I?” ----- From the top deck, the friends had all gone back down to Twilight’s cabin to decide what to do next. They were on a ship, still propelling itself forward somehow, with no captain, no crew and no other passengers. Spike walked in from the kitchens with a covered tray. Under the lid was her long awaited daisy sandwich. It was so beautiful in her eyes, she almost burst out crying at the sight of it. “Alright, we’re on this ship, none of us knows how to sail it, the one pony who did has long gone off with the crew believing the ship was sinking.” Applejack ran through the facts facing them. “I thought Captains were supposed to go down with their ship?” Rainbow Dash questioned. “That’s not true for modern ships.” Applejack replied. “Why not?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Because now they get advanced warning of the ship sinking. Back in the old days it usually was a case of ‘watch out for that cannonball!’, ‘what cannonball?’, BOOM!” Pinkie answered with rather too much joy than should be normal for such an answer. All eyes turned to Twilight as she slowly took another bite of her sandwich. She knew how she’d handle the situation, it’d be pretty easy, but she had been looking forward to this sandwich for a long time, and not even the fact that she and her friends were stranded somewhere in the ocean on an otherwise empty cruise ship would make her rush it. Finishing the bite, Twilight cleared her throat. “Spike, can you find the parchment, ink pots and quills?” Spike pulled them from a drawer of the desk, and waited for what Twilight would say. But he had to wait for another bite. ----- Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia, along with Blueblood and Luna, were utterly unaware of what had taken place on the Aurora. Currently, Celestia and Blueblood were observing as Luna begun her punishment. Or at least, watching as the guards tried to make her leave the room she had barricaded herself into. “I get that I must be punished, but must I really wear this?” Luna called out. “Yes, Luna. Now come out or I’ll have to extend the punishment.” Celestia replied, taking a sip of tea. “You can’t extend a year! You’ll have to do better than that!” Luna laughed. “Oh, I know I can’t extend a year, but I’m sure Blueblood will agree that his servants could do with a spontaneous vacation for a few months.” Celestia casual stated. “You wouldn’t dare.” Luna replied, uncertainty in her voice. “One.” “Alright! Alright! I’m coming out!” The door clicked and slowly drew open, revealing Luna in a maid’s outfit. Celestia raised an eyebrow, wondering why her sister wasn’t in an orange jumpsuit as planned. That was, until a snort and a very hard attempt to not laugh with a broken snout came from beside her. She would need to talk to Blueblood about this, but at a time when he wasn’t getting some entertainment. As Luna begun the first day of her punishment, a green swirl formed in front of Celestia, much to her surprise. “Twilight is sending a letter? She’s supposed to be relaxing on the Aurora.” Celestia muttered to herself, and read the letter. ‘Princess Celestia, Due to a misunderstanding with Pinkie Pie and a broken swimming pool, the Aurora was abandoned by the captain, crew and all passengers except myself, Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. I hope you can do something to help us, the Aurora isn’t actually flooding and sinking, its fine. Your Friend Twilight Sparkle’ ‘Well,’ Celestia smirked, rolling the letter up and hiding it in her mane, ‘this could be fun. I do hope Twilight and her friends don’t mind if I take my time in rescuing them.’ She turned to face Blueblood, who was smiling, and she returned the smile. She was glad he didn’t know yet of the situation on the Aurora, and guessed that something would go wrong when she finally told him. This unfortunately did mean that she couldn’t send help right away, as that almost certainly would get Blueblood’s attention. As she thought of how to tell him, images of Blueblood dying in various ways filled her head, from a simple heart attack, to throwing himself out of a nearby window when the news reached him. She closed her eyes and forced herself to not shake her head and worry him. ‘Well, what he doesn’t know cant kill him right?’ she thought. ‘Besides, it’ll be fun to see him faint when I get to tell him the news after he thinks everything is fine.’ -Next time on High and Dry: Parasol- Applejack’s eye twitched. Following Rarity, she remained quiet, hoping Rarity would reveal what she had said as a joke, and tell what she was doing that would be helpful to the situation. “So you just plan to relax? You don’t intend helping us get back home fast?” Applejack pressed, when Rarity located another store room and entered it. “And deprive myself of the chance of living in luxury at the expense of Blueballs?” “Rarity,” Applejack held a hoof to her face, “you are about as much use as a fart on a wind farm.”