The Scandalous Secret of High Style
By:thedarkprep
1. The Pony with a Silver Tongue (not me)
“Want to bang?”
My first instinct was to nod, as one often does during conversations that one may not be paying attention to. After all, I was in the middle of a Canterlot fashion show, and therefore it was usually a safe bet to assume that the conversation was neither interesting nor important. In fact, I was halfway through the nod when the words sunk in, causing me to do a jarring motion with my neck as I turned to look at the pony beside me. It was not my most graceful moment.
“I’m sorry, I must have misheard,” I said. “What did you say?”
The pony cocked her head to the side before giving a small giggle.
“I asked if you wanted to bang.”
Ok, so I wasn’t hearing things.
I tried to formulate a response but my mind was having trouble catching up to the situation. As such, I decided to study the pony beside me a bit while I waited for my brain to kick in, and because of the… uniqueness of the conversation, it would probably be a while.
She was a lavender pegasus with a jasmine mane and tail and she looked very unlike the rest of the ponies at the event, from her demeanor to her appearance.
For starters there was the absolute lack of self-importance which seemed to surround the rest of the ponies present like a shawl. Make no mistake, she seemed very self-assured, but her confidence lacked all the inherent snobbishness of the nobility. Instead, she carried herself more like a soldier would. Granted, a very relaxed and apparently sexual soldier, but a soldier nonetheless.
She was also not wearing clothes and seeing how this was a fashion show that made her stick out even more so than it would in the city proper, which considering Canterlot society, was saying something.
I then spotted her cloud cutie mark on which my eyes lingered as I tried to place the pony. After all, she rang a few bells.
“Should I take that as a yes, or are you just checking out what I have to offer?”
My eyes darted from her cutie mark to look back at her face, on which was plastered the sultriest and most knowing smirk I had ever witnessed.
Seeing how I was not in fact checking out her plot, it should have been an easy enough thing to explain the misunderstanding as a calm, rational being and to laugh off how funny it must have looked.
Instead I began blushing furiously and stammering like an idiot. Again, not my most graceful moment.
“Wha- No! I was not looking at you like that or anything, I was just thinking and I got lost in thought,” I stammered. “I wasn’t checking you out, honest!”
I didn’t think it was possible, but her smirk only grew wider as her half lidded eyes bore into my soul. I began blushing even more.
“Anyway, that was a rather forward question don’t you think?” I asked, desperate to get the focus off of me.
She shrugged.
“What can I say, I’m a forward pony,” she said. “I’d rather say what I mean and mean what I say than to play silly mind games. Every second I spend playing around is a second I could be spending playing around, if you catch my drift.”
The way she spoke rattled through my mind and it sent a shiver down my spine. I caught her drift.
“Be that as it may,” I said after clearing my throat. “We’re in a very prestigious fashion show in the middle of Canterlot. Don’t you think that asking such a thing is very unladylike, Ms…?”
“Cloud Kicker.”
Aaah, that explained a lot. I had heard plenty about the infamous Cloud Kicker before and now that I knew who she was, everything made far too much sense.
“Right,” I said. “Don’t you think it is very unladylike and impolite Ms. Cloud Kicker?”
She looked around as if noticing her surroundings for the first time.
“I guess,” she said, smiling sheepishly. “I’m visiting Canterlot for the weekend and I just kinda wandered in here by mistake, saw a beautiful mare, and decided to strike up a conversation. Any ‘rudeness’ on my part was incidental and not at all on purpose. I am sorry if I offended you though.”
I felt myself soften up, and not just because she called me beautiful. Honest.
“That’s ok, you didn’t offend me,” I said. “It just caught me offguard.”
“Well, I’m sorry for that then Ms…”
“High Style,” I said. “But most just call me Sty for short.”
“Sty? I like it,” she said. “Anyway, as I was saying, I’m sorry if I caught you offguard, but I have to be honest with you. I have a huge weakness for cute mares which makes me more forward than I normally am, and that’s saying something. So I’m sorry in advance if I say something else embarrassing or impolite while I keep talking to you.”
Cloud Kicker took a subtle step forward, closing some of the distance between us and allowing me to feel some of the heat coming off her fur.
Yes, I knew exactly what she was doing. No, that did not stop it from working.
“Well,” I began speaking slowly. “If you really think it’ll be that big of a problem, perhaps we should go somewhere more private. We wouldn’t want to disturb the rest of the patrons should you say something ‘impolite,’ right?”
Cloud Kicker’s eyes brightened as she gave an excited nod.
“Lead the way.”
I looked around the crowded room looking for my boss, who I eventually found talking to a large group of interviewers, models, and designers. From the look of things she would be busy for quite a while and therefore my presence would not be missed should I go out for a bit. I soundlessly motioned for Cloud Kicker to follow me as I began making my way through the room and towards the back exit.
The cool breeze tickled my face as the doors opened allowing us onto the brisk Canterlot afternoon. It always amused me that the days and nights of the fall season were cooler than the summer ones, since the weather was entirely controlled by magic and therefore could be made to be whatever temperature one wished year round. Still, I wasn’t complaining since on this day it meant that Cloud Kicker had an excuse to huddle up beside me as we walked.
I know I should have pulled away, but I didn’t
I did, however, turn my head to face away from her in order to examine my surroundings and not at all to hide the growing blush on my face.
The setting sun was now in my line of sight causing me to stare dumbfounded as it often did. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen plenty of sunsets in my time. However, there was something special about watching them from Canterlot. Maybe it was the altitude, maybe it was the fact that Celestia and Luna controlled the celestial bodies from here, or maybe it was just in my head. And yet, regardless of the reason, sunsets here were more captivating than they were anywhere else.
“Amazing isn’t it?”
The voice broke me from my reverie, causing me to face Cloud Kicker once more. It was then that I realized that I had stopped walking, and I was about to apologize when I noticed that her eyes weren’t on me, but on the on the setting sun.
“I wouldn’t mind staying here and watching this for a while,” she said. “After all, it is the second hottest thing I’ve seen since I got here.”
I fought the urge to facehoof.
Really Cloud Kicker? Really? I do appreciate being called hot, and I probably would have blushed and acted like a school filly again if not for the fact that Cloud Kicker had just compared me not to the sun’s beauty, not to the sun’s splendor, and not the sun’s radiance, but to its physical temperature.
A poet Cloud Kicker was not.
And yet I persevered, with my hoof safely away from my face and my thoughts on the matter unvoiced. Instead I just laughed.
Now, I should mention that I did not laugh on purpose. I certainly did not mean to laugh and, if I could have, I would have stopped immediately. And yet I couldn’t, and I began laughing the hardest that I had for a while. I was just about to start feeling bad about it when I noticed that Cloud Kicker was laughing with me.
“Yea, I know,” she said, as the laughter died down. “I’m horrible at metaphors.”
I took a few calming breaths.
“No no, it’s cute,” I said. “You’re cute.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“F” on execution, but “B” for effort.
The two of us continued to watch the setting sun after that, as well as the rising moon and stars before we finally continued on our walk to find a more private place, a journey that was decidedly less silent than it had previously been, for which I was rather thankful.
Cloud Kicker told me all about herself as we walked, such as what it was like growing up in a military family, what her current life in Ponyville and her job in the weather team was like, about her sister Alula, and yes, even some of her more notorious hook ups, including those with a griffon and the one with a stallion with a strange obsession with jelly.
She also asked me a lot about me and my past, but these were questions that I either avoided, or talked about but never really answered. She must have noticed my reluctance to talk about myself or personal topics because she eventually stopped asking and just continued talking about herself.
And then we were there: the royal garden.
Most ponies would not think of an open area such as this as a private place. However, I knew it to be so.
For starters, there was a rumor that this garden was closed and only accessible during big events like the Grand Galloping Gala, despite Princess Celestia’s numerous attempts to get ponies to use the grounds as a public park or recreation area. Then there was the fact that this part of the castle had nothing worth protecting but easily replaceable plants, meaning that guards would not come through here on their patrols, sparing us any awkward situations. Lastly, the surrounding trees and their location on the far side of the castle grounds meant that this area was as secluded as any random room in Canterlot.
I turned around to watch as Cloud Kicker got acquainted with her surroundings. I could even trace her line of sight as she went from scanning the trees, the flowers, the stars, and the fireflies, all covered under the soft blanket of moonlight.
I may have been staring open mouthed, but I didn’t have it in me to be embarrassed enough to blush. I feel like staring open mouthed is the appropriate response to seeing somepony as beautiful as Cloud Kicker looked at that moment.
She turned to look at me as I closed my mouth and for a moment we were all there was. We were all that was real and nothing existed beyond the small clearing we were in.
Just the stars, the moon, Cloud Kicker, and me.
She began walking closer towards me and I felt my breath catch in my throat. There was no mistaking what she was doing, what was going to happen. Everything from the way she looked at me, to how she walked, to the subtle ripple of her wings betrayed a blazing want for physical contact, a lust for intimacy that had to be sated.
I knew I should stop her. Something in my mind told me that I was forgetting something important. Some reason as to why this was wrong. Then there were the things that I hadn’t forgotten. Like the fact that I had only just met Cloud Kicker and here I was about to bang her.
And yet, I couldn’t stop her.
Nor did I try.
I needed that contact and that intimacy as well. Maybe even more so, something that became very apparent as my anticipation grew.
I shared in her want.
She didn’t hesitate as she reached me, using her hoof to guide my head and lips onto hers.
Our lips met.
The dam broke.
That one kiss cracked the barrier that was holding everything back, and the second it happened, an unrestrained aching and yearning was allowed to take over.
Where the first kiss had been sweet, the next had been passionate. Where the first movements had been slow like a dance, the following had been frantic and erratic. Where before there had been doubt, now there was only confidence.
The stars and the moon were gone. It was now only Cloud Kicker and me.
And I loved it.
She pulled away for air before giving me another passionate kiss, this time using her whole body to pin me against a tree as she explored my mouth. I draped my forelegs around her neck pushing back a bit. Her wings flared, causing a bit of wind to flow through my mane, tickling my face. I ran a hoof through her mane. We continued to kiss.
Then Cloud Kicker separated from me, inciting a small whine from me. She looked at me with an amused smirk as her hoof trailed over my body, coming to rest where the hemline of my dress connected with my flank.
“You know what I really love about ponies who wear clothes all the time?” she asked.
“No, do tell,” I said, with a horrible attempt at a purr. Cloud Kicker giggled.
“I love the anticipation, the mystery, and I love the feeling of the first reveal where I can take off the excess and unnecessary layers, to see the beautiful mare hiding beneath," she said as her hoof began to pull up on my dress.
I slapped it away.
Cloud Kicker cocked her head to the side in confusion as I pushed her off me. She obviously had no idea what had just happened, and was patiently waiting for an explanation. I couldn’t give her one however, since I was just figuring out the problem myself.
My heartbeat quickened as the implications of what I had just done, and what I almost did, rushed to the forefront of my mind. Then the panic started.
Hurried breaths.
Falling tears.
My shaking frame.
I tried to regain my composure but failed as I struggled to even stay standing. I faltered once or twice but managed to pull through. Anger and rage welled up inside me, followed by a constant monologue of what an idiot I was and what I had just risked.
“How could I be so stupid?” I thought.
A small rustling to my right caught my attention, and I turned to find Cloud Kicker staring at me with concern.
At least, I think it was concern. It could also be confusion.
Or maybe… Hurt?
“I can’t,” I managed to mumble through my tears and my ragged breaths. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,”
Cloud Kicker said nothing, instead taking a cautious step towards me. I don’t know if she had been trying to come over to comfort me or if she was going to just walk away, seeing how I was blocking her way to the exit. I may never know.
At that moment, I ran.
I didn’t look back to see if Cloud Kicker was behind me or just standing there, staring with a hurt face. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I ran as fast as I could to the safety of my room.
Tears marked my path as they fell onto the ground behind me, but thankfully no one was outside to watch me run or to follow my trail. For better or worse, I was alone.
“You almost gave up your secret,” I scolded myself. “And for what? So you could bang somepony? Do you have any idea how stupid you are? What this could have cost you?”
As always, only silence answered my questions, allowing me to keep going.
“But that’s ok isn’t it? After all, it’s not like you sacrificed everything you had, your family, your friends, your history for this. And it’s not like you would lose everything again if you were found out. No, surely this is not important enough that you should keep it from a complete stranger!”
It wasn’t long from then before I arrived home. It took a few tries to unlock the door with my shaking hooves, but eventually I managed it, letting myself inside.
The lights were off but I made no effort to turn them on, instead walking over to the couch where I laid down and began to weep.
I wept for my stupidity.
I wept for the role I had been dealt.
I wept for the pained look on Cloud Kicker’s face.
And finally, I wept for that closeness that Cloud Kicker offered. A closeness I knew I could never have again.
The sound of my cries echoed through the house as I slowly but surely calmed down.
And yet the tears would not stop.
It had been years since I had allowed myself to be close to somepony like I had that night. It had been years since I had trusted somepony, and if that night proved anything it was how much I missed such companionship. How much I needed it.
And yet, I couldn’t have it. Being close to somepony like that meant revealing myself, revealing my secret, and that was something I could not afford.
All I was allowed to have was loneliness.
I stared around myself, almost as if able to see the walls that separated me from other ponies. I reached out to touch them but they weren’t really there. They weren’t really solid. And yet they were the most solid objects in existence.
I began crying again, as the thoughts played over and over in my head.
I could never be close to anypony again.
To do so would mean revealing my secret.
Revealing my secret was something I could not do, no matter how much I wanted to.
If anyone found out I was transgender, it would cost me everything.