//------------------------------// // The Voice // Story: Castaway // by lunabrony //------------------------------// Far too many coincidences were beginning to add up in order to be completely random. The storm was the biggest factor on my mind at the moment. I had run all sorts of options and alternatives through my head, but I just couldn't figure out how a storm of that size and severity had taken a ship of more than a hundred people by surprise. Weather tracking technology was so advanced these days, and at the very LEAST someone should have SEEN the damn thing. And then there was the radio. My only link to the outside world. Very little debris had washed up on the shore, which I found a good sign. I didn't think that the ship had been destroyed or gone down. At least I prayed it didn't. I had been knocked overboard by a rogue wave, one which had seemingly only dislodged me because I had the misfortune of having not been holding onto anything at the time. The debris which had littered the island had been minimal. A few broken planks of wood, a life jacket, a radio. All things seemingly designed to assist with survival. That was chillingly convenient. I held the radio tightly in both hands, in such a firm grip that my knuckles began to turn white. This radio was all I had, and I was afraid if I let it out of my sight it would dissolve into dust or disappear completely. There was nobody here on this island, nobody except myself and the voice who called herself Lyra. "Jason, you still there?" She asked. "Yeah, I'm here." I replied. "Lyra is a nice name, what's it mean?" "What do you mean? It's part of who I am, I play the lyre." Now she was just starting to sound odd. I frowned a bit, but didn't think anything else of it. At least, I didn't until she continued talking. That's when things got strange. "What's YOUR name mean? That's an awfully odd name for a pony." Pony? I could have sworn she just said pony. I must have misheard her. I shook the radio lightly, giving it a light tap. Trying to clear up any static that may be interfering. That was another odd thing about this place. Not a single station was coming in, and I wasn't all that far from the mainland. Why wasn't anything working? "I'm sorry, come again?" I asked. "I asked what your name meant. You have a strange name for a pony." There it was again. That time she definitely said pony. "Um... I'm not a pony." I said defensively, feeling absolutely ridiculous for having to say even that. "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. Dragon then?" Lyra offered. This was getting ridiculous. At first I thought someone on the other end was just being silly, but this was starting to feel like I was being pranked. Or trolled, as the people on Reddit often said. And it wasn't even a very good trolling. "Alright, look, this is getting old. I'm not a pony, I'm not a dragon, I'm not a werewolf. Whoever put you up to this, just stop. I'm in real trouble here, I got thrown off my ship. I need you to get a hold of someone and tell them where I am so they can come get me." "Of course you're not a werewolf, werewolves don't exist." Lyra said with amusement. I wanted to hit her. "But if you're lost, that's no good. I suppose I could send a message to Twilight Sparkle, she's usually pretty good at solving predicaments." "Twi-" I began. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was talking to someone in San Francisco. These were just the sort of strange names that they would come up with. "So let me get this straight. You're trying to imply that you're a dragon and I'm just supposed to believe that." "Don't be silly. I'm a unicorn." Oh, so there it was. I slammed my fist down in the sand. "Listen, I've had just about enough of this. Unicorns don't exist. Dragons don't exist. Ponies don't talk. Don't play games with me right now, are you going to help me or not?" Lyra sounded confused. "Of course I'll help you. But if you're not any of those things, what are you?" "Human." I said, a bit of anger rising in my face. This entire conversation was becoming retarded, and I wasn't any closer to getting help. Lyra made a very strange noise that sounded like a mix between a hiccup and a gasp. There was giggling, which grew louder in frequency to the point I had to step away from the radio. They say you're never supposed to wake up someone who's sleepwalking, was that what this felt like? I thought I had just broken Lyra, or whatever her name was. "I knew it! I knew it!" She was exclaiming, and a sudden rush of excitement came through the speaker. "Wait here, I'm gonna get you help, alright? I know just the pony who can find you!" There was a clattering as if the radio had been dropped, and then silence. Great. My only companion was a crazy person. I waited for what felt like hours, before picking up the radio and hooking it to my belt. I began to walk along the beach, trying to mentally calculate how large the island was. Additionally, if at any point on the island I could make out another landmass on the horizon. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just a mini-forest circling the center of the island, the outer ring of which was covered in a sandy beach. I saw no animals, not even a single bird. That worried me. I had walked almost two miles over the course of an hour when the radio suddenly sprang back to life. "Jason! Jason!" It was Lyra. "Thank God. You found someone?" "Sure did! Here!" "Hi!" A new voice screamed. I dropped the radio in the sand in shock, one hand holding my ringing ear. That voice. It was the most annoying thing I'd ever heard, a high pitched verbal assault. "Agh!" I exclaimed. "Who's... this?" "Pinkie Pie at your service!" The voice chirped. "You can call me Pinkie, or you can call me Pie, or you can call me Pinkie Pie, or I suppose you could call me Celestia if you wanted to, but that would get really confusing because then we'd have to call Celestia Pinkie and I want to be Pinkie, so that really wouldn't work." Dear God. Make it stop. "Okay. OKAY!" I exclaimed. But she just kept going. Could nothing shut this woman off? "Lyra says you're a human, which if that's true, means you definitely don't live here. Oh! Oh! Maybe you're in a parallel universe! Are you near a lighthouse?" She asked. "No. I am not near a lighthouse. I'm stuck on a damn island." "Okay, okay, Mr. Grumpy Pants." She said. I wasn't sure I liked her. "Are you anywhere in Equestria?" "I don't even know what Equestria IS." I said. This wasn't helping. "Huh. Well this is a puzzler. I'm gonna go ask Twilight Sparkle what it means! Bye!" "NOW WAIT JUST A-" Useless. She was gone. My head hurt. Lyra, Pinkie, Twilight Sparkle. These were sounding less like names and more like flavors of cake. Lyra returned. "Listen, I have to go for a little bit, keep your radio close. Don't go anywhere, alright? We'll figure this out." "Oh, yeah, sure, don't go anywhere. I was just going to head to the mall for a few hours, but now that you mention it, I'll stay here." I said bitterly. "Great!" She said, and just like that she was gone. I sat down in the sand, rubbing my head to try and convince a growing headache to leave me alone. I flipped over the radio, concerned that my extensive usage would drain the life out of the radio before I could tell anyone where I was. I unlatched the battery panel, and flicked it open. My eyes widened in disbelief. The radio fell from my hands and tumbled into the sand. "That's... not... possible..." The battery compartment was empty.