//------------------------------// // 10 - Zecora's potions // Story: The Memoirs Of A Reality Jumper // by Techogre //------------------------------// Dash had gone home after two and a half days. I selfishly wanted her to stay, but apparently, gallant knights insisted they go home for some rest. Her presence and caring had brought me some tranquillity, and while I was not at peace with myself, my burden did feel lighter. It was hard to break the habits and assumptions of a lifetime, but this place made it so much easier. It made it easier to trust, easier to care for others and harder to look for that fair trade. The guilt still burned inside me, but that flame of rage and self-hate was slowly being extinguished. I was happy to see Nurse Redheart come by with a new medication from Zecora that was supposed to dull the pain more effectively. Like most of Zecora's potions, it was a little sweet and thick. I found it easy to take and was told I could expect a second dose in four hours. I had just drifted off to sleep when I woke with a bit of a start and a wince of pain. Someone was touching my arm. I turned my head and saw Fluttershy gently touching it, and Twilight was sitting beside her, grinning her fool head off. Fluttershy looked at me with concern all over her face, “Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. We'll go now. Twilight, I told you he...” I grunted and smiled slightly, “It's ok. You two lovely ladies can visit my bedroom any time.” I giggled a little at my own joke and winced at moving just the wrong way. Fluttershy blushed a deep red and hid behind her bangs, and Twilight tittered behind her hoof. Whoa, the meds are really kicking in. “Sorry, I blame the wooooonderful potion Zecora is feeding me. It's making me a little loopy.”   “Alex, we're only allowed to be here two at a time for a short visit. That's the rule. Rarity and Applejack are waiting to come in next, then Pinkie Pie. I informed the Princess of your heroics, and she said to postpone your visit for as long as you need.” Twilight grinned from ear to ear, “And I'm so happy you're feeling better. We were really worried. What you did was so amazing! You should be proud of yourself.” My smile diminished a little, my voice a little weaker, “I just... followed my daddy instincts, I guess. Let's not make a big deal about it.” I mumbled to myself, “... it was almost a fair trade...” “Oh, Alex,” Fluttershy clucked like a mother hen, “I'm just glad you're alright. I saw Rainbow Dash on the way here, and she looked terrible. She usually sleeps about twelve hours a day. Staying up for almost three days was hard on her.” “Is she getting some rest and a good meal or three?” Fluttershy nodded shyly. “Outstanding.” “I think we've been here long enough, Fluttershy. We have that... thing to help with.” I grew annoyed, “Don't do anything for my sake, please. I'm not interested in rewards. Just... please don't.” I saw them quickly glance at each other before Fluttershy blurted out, “Oh no, it's nothing like that. Some of the girls were coming over to help me with the... um... new bunnies. So many bunnies, so few hooves,” she nervously forced a laugh, making her sound more psychotic than anything else. Twilight face-hoofed and then seemed to realize she may as well go with it, her voice getting slightly manic to go along with a slightly creepy smile, “Oh ya, bunnies! A real big batch of them! Bunnies as far as the eye can see.” She grabbed Fluttershy by the elbow, “Well, look at the time, we had better get going.” As Twilight ushered Fluttershy out of the room, I asked, “Why does Spike hate me? I mean, I know it has something to do with my smell. We did spend time sniffing each other, and you said I didn't stink much.” I giggled at my own joke. Ouch. “Maybe some magic will fix it? Or some good old human technology? I'm sorry I'm not likeable.” Giggle. Ouch. Whee! She paused at the room door, her expression softened into a genuine smile, “You're something else, Alex Roberts. We're all glad you're getting better.” “Oh, and sorry about my comment, Fluttershy. I didn't mean to offend you. I'll blame the potion since a poor excuse is better than no excuse.” Giggle. Ouch. Poor Fluttershy. She's so cute when she's embarrassed. I was alone for a few minutes and relaxed. I knew they cared. I knew they were doing... something. And, if I was honest with myself, I wasn't sure I hated the attention. Oh, I didn't really care about others singing my accolades, but... it didn't feel bad. To be honest, I'm feeling really good right now, so I think that this is not the time to get in touch with my feelings or make any choices. Choices. That makes me giggle. Ouch. Applejack walked into the room, Rarity close behind. Applejack's hat was at a jaunty angle. “Well, well, well, Mr. Alex Roberts. Laying about eating grapes, I see. What will we do with you?” Rarity shot her an annoyed glance. Giggle. Ouch. “Bake me into a pie!” Giggle. Ouch. “Did you know Zecora makes the best potions? Takes aaaaaall the ouches away. Makes me a little derpy, though.” Giggle—less ouch. Applejack chuckled that low chuckle of hers. Now that's a cute chuckle. Why did I think that? “Don't you worry none, sugarcube. No business talk until you're feeling better. We just came by to see how you was doin'.” You know, that Applejack sure sounds and acts like Ann. She's pretty too. Giggle—less ouch. In her slightly haughty, affected accent, Rarity smiled a seductive smile, “You know Alex, I already said you were a gallant knight. You do not need to continue proving it to me.” Ok, that was... what's the sexy version of cute? I don't know. Whatever the sexy version of cute is, she was that by the bucket load. Mr Brain is free-associating. Whee! “Ladies, thank you so much for cute-ing up my room! Applejack, you make me think of Ann, all pretty, common sense, brains, and strength. Rarity, you're plain old class and eye candy!” My voice started to slur even more, “Why, if I were a pony, I'd be chasing after you like... like... something chasing something.” Whee! In my happy haze, I could see them looking at each other and smirking. Giggle. No ouch? “Zecora does all this really cool rhyming all the time, did you know that? And the potion she gave me... wow! I have never been this inebriated. I feel great!” I sang, “And I'm starting to sing anything that pops into my head!” Giggle. No ouch. I clear my throat, “I think I may be a little silly right now...” Rarity came into focus, mainly because she was right beside me and gave me a peck on the cheek, “All is forgiven and forgotten, my gallant knight.” She smiled kindly, “Our only concern at the moment is your well-being. We shall discuss business matters when you are sober.” She disappeared from focus. Things were getting a little blurry. Applejack came into view, and I smiled. “Hello, pony Ann.” I made a sad face and reached out to touch Applejack's cheek but couldn't reach it. I looked her in the eyes as best as I could, “I miss Ann.” I smiled again, “But that's okay. I have pony Ann.” Giggle. No pain. Tired. She took my hand and put it on my chest, then chuckled that cute chuckle and patted me on the shoulder, “Don't you worry, lover boy, I think you're going to be just fine.” Yay! Pony Ann is happy! “I love you pony Ann.” I assume they left because the next face I saw was pink with big pink hair. Am I hallucinating, or is this actually happening? Giggle. No pain. Tired. “Big poofy hair.” I sniffed. “Cotton Candy?” “Hey there Mr Monkey Man! Boy, oh boy, you really got hurt saving that foal, didn't you? They wouldn't let me bring Gummy in here, something about alligators being unhygienic. I'm so glad to see you feeling better.” “Oh, hey, Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pinkie Pinkamina poofy Pie. You're cute and smart, you know that? Did the girls tell you about the potion Zecora made for me? Happy giggle juice!” Giggle. No pain. Very Tired. Whee! She giggled and gave me a warm smile, “It was really brave what you did, and I'm happy you're making a full recovery. I haven't spent much time with you, but everyone else says you're really nice.” She whispered conspiratorially, “I read ahead so I know you get better.” She continued, “So when you get out, we're having a big party for you. With balloons, streamers, and Gummy will ... there, and ... I also ... on ...” ... ... The doctors soon adjusted the dosage of the pain medication. Just enough to dull the pain without turning me into a babbling idiot. Apparently, I had an entire conversation with Pinkie, but I don't remember a darn thing. She and all the ladies were classy enough not to bring anything up I said while... indisposed. I still apologized to them individually. Stoned or not, they were still my actions. Now, I truly thought of them as my friends. I was really seeing the ponies around me as people, not just an extension of a cartoon. Dash was visiting me every day, even if it was for a short time, and at least one of the others visited me too, usually two or three. I scolded Dash more than once for wasting her training time on me. Her response was pure Dash, “Don't worry about it, fat head. I've got it all under control. Anyway, I'm not leaving you hanging, got it?” Later, when I healed enough to get out of bed by myself, I looked out the window. I wondered if Dash knew I might be looking because I could always see her do her routines from my window. She always did her routines from about eight to ten in the morning, then again from one until three in the afternoon, and sometimes for a couple of hours after supper. I had no idea when she did her job, but I guess that's the benefit of being friends with the Princess and being an Element of Harmony. Twilight was the first, after Dash, to visit me on her own. The door handle glowed purple, and the door opened. “Twilight! It's great to see you with a clear head.” Twilight tittered, “Yes. As entertaining as you were, a clear head is always better. I thought you would like to know you planted the seed of the solution with Spike. I just had to do some magical enchantments to a medical mask, and I'll have a prototype sometime in a few weeks.” “You know Twilight, I just had a thought. I was going to teach you how to use my laptop, and there is no point in waiting. It's really simple, and frankly, if I were half as smart as you, I'd be twice as smart as I am, so it should be a snap for you.” I told her where I kept it and showed her how to open it. Without fingers, she used her magic. I asked her if she was physically able to open it with her hooves, and we discovered that, with difficulty, she could. Magic was just much more intuitive for her. We had similar problems with the power button and keyboard, but magic or a stick held in the mouth worked just fine. Oddly enough, the trackpad was not a problem; she could use the front edge of the toe easily enough, and the left and right 'mouse' buttons were just below the pad. That was the easy part. Poor Twilight had a hard time getting her head around the User Interface. Fairly standard stuff back home. She kept trying to associate parts of the U.I. with, I assume, magical theory and what the equivalent of a U.I. was. She kept asking about morphemic fields, mana flow, ocular frequencies, and stuff that I didn't understand. It took almost half an hour to teach her how to start it up, click on CONNECT, and open the web browser and/or Skype. I showed her how to do basic searches and suggested she not search for My Little Pony. I thought it would be best if they didn't see the show. A little misogynistic, I know, but I really wanted to protect them from the weirdness out there. Rarity visited almost as much as Dash. She's definitely not some empty-headed fashionista. We discussed how the business of selling aluminium was going. Very well, it turns out. There was an increased market demand not long before I appeared, and the price had gone back up after the sudden influx of the precious metal. The coins were being greedily bought up. I was delighted when she brought me the set of clothes. She also made a robe more appropriate for human use. They may have been simple, but they were expertly made. And I think she was insulted when I asked her for the bill. I let the matter drop when I realized she could be even more bullheaded than Applejack. I admitted my knowledge of fashion was limited, but I did show her some fashions from back home on the laptop. I also taught her how to use it so she could, as she said, “Get inspiration from an entirely new universe.” I thought Twilight was a slow learner. It took almost twice as long for her to understand how to use it. Ponies are just not very adept at using complex technology. She even had a conversation with Ann about fashion, but Ann was never very fashion-conscious. However, she does have good taste. She married me, right? Both lovely ladies agreed I was an enormous ham but was a dear nonetheless. During a lull in one of our conversations, Rarity said something that really touched me, “My darling Alex, thanks to your generosity, I can now spend more time making the world a more beautiful place and less time just making a living as it were. Thank you.” She gave me another peck on the cheek. I made a glib comment that she was being generous, but I did thank her. What a huge difference I was making in her life never occurred to me. At the end of my first week, when I could get out of bed on my own, I got a visit from Scootaloo and a mare I didn't know. “Hey, Scootaloo! Nice to see you again.” Scootaloo started talking at a rapid rate, “Mr Alex Roberts, that was totally awesome the way you just ran in the burning building and saved that colt, and what's even cooler is you're super brave 'cuz you're not as strong or tough or magic as ponies, and the other thing that's cool is...” I cut her off, “Scootaloo, sometimes adults do crazy stupid stuff because they don't think it through. I got hurt badly, and I found out afterwards that the firefighters could have saved him. What I did could have turned out way different.” I smiled at her, “Who told you all that stuff anyway?” Realizing I was being rude, “Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, are you Scootaloo's mom?” Scootaloo and the mare exchanged glances. Scootaloo looked a little embarrassed, and the mare blushed a little. “N... No. This is Miss Sweetheart, my caretaker. I needed an adult to visit you, so she's here...” Scootaloo's an orphan? A ward of the crown? “Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Sweetheart. Thank you for bringing Scootaloo to visit. She's a great little filly, and she's always welcome.” The tension in the room faded. Scootaloo excitedly continued, “And it was Sweetie Belle who told me that. She said her sister Rarity told her.” I motioned for her to get closer. When she was within reach, I mussed up her hair, “and one more thing, Mr. Roberts is my dad. I'm Alex. I expect all my friends, including you, Miss Scootaloo,” I look up, “and you too, Miss Sweetheart, to call me Alex.” “Sure thing, M... Alex!” She suddenly looked a little embarrassed, “Um, can I use your bathroom?” “You go right ahead, sweetie.” Scootaloo quickly scampered off. Miss Sweetheart beamed at me, “She puts on a tough front, but she's really such a sensitive child.” “I know. The tough ones always are.” I mused sadly, “She reminds me of my daughter.” During the second week, the boy I had rescued and his parents visited. They came into the room quietly and, if I was not mistaken, with some reverence. The father said, “Mister Alex Roberts, sir, my name is Forest Harvest. This is my wife, Hedge Trimmer, and my only child, Tree Trimmer. I want to thank you for saving my son's life. Our family is in your debt. As a token of our appreciation, please let me at least pay your medical bills.” I sat on the edge of the bed with a bit of a grunt and smiled, “Sir, while I appreciate the gesture, that will be unnecessary. To be blunt, I have more bits than Celestia. My reward is seeing your boy safe and sound.” I was momentarily lost in thought, “I have a boy too, and even though he's a long way away and we stay in touch by letter, I... well, I know what it's like to have a son.” The little guy stepped forward, “I'm real th'orry I bit you mith'ter.” The little guy looked genuinely embarrassed. I smirked, “Don't worry about it, Tree Trimmer. I suppose if some huge, scary-looking thing grabbed me from my closet, I would bite it, too. No harm done.” Hedge Trimmer was looking at me, on the verge of tears. She suddenly marched up to me, stood on her hind legs, and hugged me. She said, with her voice full of emotion, “Thank you so much. Thank you for my little foal.” I gave her a gentle hug back, “My pleasure, ma'am.”