//------------------------------// // Reinforcements From an Unknown Past // Story: Humans Assemble! // by Mistershield //------------------------------// Dear Reader, I ask for your forgiveness. In a desperate attempt to extend this story (Or just make sense to plot properly- If you want to believe it if you don’t mind,) we take another step back with a flashback. We turn our sights- To of all places- Ponyville. Humans Assemble, a few days ago. Chapter 72- Reinforcements From an Unknown Past “Hey... Tavi! I think he’s waking up!” A voice yelled out to the rest of the house. it was a two story, most homes in Ponyville were. Most of the house were made of brick, with soft earth colors of brown and yellow to decorate. At the moment though, Vinyl Scratch lowered her head a bit, making her shades slide down a bit to expose her eyes. The image of a long figure was under a bed sheet. “Stop screaming Vinyl! I’m coming up,” Octavia called out from the bottom of the house. “Urgh... So much... Noise,” A tired voice called out. The bedsheet was pushed down, exposing two ash white hands and fingers. Soon enough, a frowning Spartan named Kratos was shown. The male had to wince, the light against his eyelids was an unwelcome annoyance, almost as unwelcome as the sounds of screaming. “Oh! Hey there! You-” “Time for convenient plot device and foreshadowing!” A voice interrupted the DJ. “What the?” The unicorn turned her head to the sound of the voice, moving her hoof to push her shades back in place.. A masked man, dressed in red and black latex from head to toe was standing at the entrance... Of a blue police booth? “Who are-” “Yoink!” Deadpool grinned under his mask. The black dots around the white eyes squinted a bit. He moved both arms out, grabbing hold of Scratch and pulled her into the Tardis. “Well, this is a new one for us. We’re kidnapping a pony...” “A talking unicorn! You know how much this can be worth?!” Deadpool called out to his inner voice. “Help! I’m being... Oh hey- you have really soft hands,” Scratch raised her eyebrows, the doors closing as she was pulled in. A moment later, the time machine took off, leaving a recuperating demigod all alone. Wow, it got cloudy fast. She turned to look outside, seeing storm clouds coming. “Hey! I don’t have soft hands! I’m wearing new gloves, ok? I gotta break them in!” Deadpool shouted out. “Will you two settle down? I gotta assemble my team!” The Doctor said. “Hey, listen to the Doc. Put the pony down.” “Is it weird I can hear that voice?” Vinyl said. “Tell me about it,” Her inner voice said. “I mean, check out the suit. So tacky...” “Wait, you got a voice telling you what to do?” Deadpool set Scratch down. “And my suit is awesome! Way more awesome than your shades!” “Hey, lay off the-” “I’m talking to your inner voice!” Deadpool yelled out. “That’s no way to talk to a lady!” Inner Deadpool said. “Yeah! Why aren’t you sticking out up for me, Scratchy?” Inner Vinyl said. “Yeah! You should help the cute voice!” Inner Deadpool joined in. “You think I’m cute?” Inner Vinyl said. “What the...” The DJ frowned, lifting her head to look at Deadpool. “Uhh...” Deadpool blinked once. His inner voice was flirting with another voice? “We should, like, totally make out,” Inner Deadpool said. “No more talking,” Inner Scratch said in a low, sultry voice. “Bend over.” “Unce Unce Unce Unce...” “Now who is making that voice?” Deadpool asked. The couple with inner voices turned to look at The Doctor, who walked over to them with a sigh. “My inner self is a bit randy...” The three of them looked at the floor of the Tardis, not sure what they should be doing during an inner voice orgy. ___________________________________ “Where...” Kratos opened his eyes, looking around the small room a bit. Last he could remember, he had just defeated Zeus. It was so satisfying, and his rage had finally subsided. He could finally move on. Then, that treacherous Athena made him stab himself with the Blade of Olympus. His left hand moved to touch his chest, trying to feel the wound. Nothing there. Blinking twice, he sat up to look down at his chest. His skin was still ash white and the red marks still on his form. “How?” The spartan spread his fingers apart to touch his bare chest more. What did happen? His head moved up, looking around the small room. Last he could recall, he had fallen down the cliff... “The blades?” Kratos raised each arm, blinking once. The familiar weapons were latched onto his form once more. Hadn’t he lost these in the final battle? Why were they back on?!? “Vinyl?” “Huh?” Kratos picked up his head at the noise. That voice was not the one he heard before... His left hand moved to his face, rubbing both eyes awake. Time for a quick analysis. 1. Was he trapped by a god? Doubted it, he felt no magic used on him. This place looked more like a home than a dungeon or eternal torment location. 2. How is the body? No pain, no new scars. It was as if the wound he inflicted to himself wasn’t there. Also, each hand felt alright after the massive beating given to Zeus’ face. Though, he was a bit thirsty- So he doubted he was dead. “Are you in here- Oh my,” Octavia whispered a second, her train of thought moved when she spotted the Spartan sitting up. Kratos lowered his hand to look at the speaker 3. What the hell was he looking at? Was this... A horse? No way, greek horses were taller than this. It didn’t even look like a child horse he was used to. “Are... Are you alright, sir?” Octavia added after a second. She hesitantly moved in closer to the creature, her dark mane casting a slight shadow over the top of her eyes. 4. Error. Error. Blue screen of death. Please insert CD boot device. Sorry, mind is not here now. Please leave a message at the end of the- “Who are you? What are you?” Kratos asked, eyes narrowed a moment. His steel gaze pierced into Octavia’s light purple eyes. Was this horse merely a god in disguise? “Oh- Well, I could propose the same questions to you, sir,” Octavia responded. She assumed it was male, even if it was wearing a skirt. Even though she put up a brave act, the musician felt like staring into the creature’s eyes. They were so harrowed and in pain... “I’ve had enough of this nonsense,” Kratos spoke as he moved to sit at the edge of the bed. Each foot slipped out of the sheet to the floor so he could stand. “Nonsense?! May I remind you sir- Common courtesy is vital to proper etiquette,” Octavia spoke with both eyes closed. She was dealing with an uncouth- And what was this? “Now listen here... Horse,” Kratos demanded. He had reached out his his left hand to grab Octavia by the back of her collar. He had hoisted her up to eye level, eyes still narrowed. He had no idea how to address this creature though. “I will not be lectured-” And what the hell was this? “Put me down you...” Octavia waved her front hooves a bit to attempt to struggle and free herself. That was until she saw what Kratos was looking at. Above them both, a giant triangle inside a circle floated. “Am I to assume that you know what that means?” Octavia questioned, her right eyebrow raised. “No... Surely you’re joking,” Kratos frowned, his head pointed upwards still. “It’s a horse.” “What are you going on about?” Octavia frowned, hanging like this was embarrassing. Like one would hold a foal. “Aphrodite! Do you mean to tell me to bed this horse?! What sick joke is this?” Kratos shouted to the roof. Octavia looked left and right for a second, wondering what this fellow was yelling about. “Who are you talking to?” “I’m not sleeping with a horse!” The mare squinted her eyes, looking up a bit now. “Sleep?!” “Well, the blades are thirsty. I could not turn that down...” “You’re starting to scare me...” Octavia said in a low voice. First, getting picked up by his savage fellow, then talking to voices in his head, and now some sort of deal was being struck. Over her sexuality. “What do you think I am?!” Kratos lowered his arm a bit, placing Octavia’s rear hooves to touch the ground. “A nice fellow?” Octavia interjected, hoping he was listening to her. Her confidence and her brave front was now replaced with a nervous smile. As the ash male spoke, the swords and muscles at her eye level quivered. If this fellow had the gumption to hold a lady like a cat, there was no telling what he could do. And he still continued to look up, not acknowledging her at all. “Ah, I see what you did there...” Kratos sighed. He placed Octavia on the bed, her back on the sheets so she had her hooves up. “Alright.” “Eeep!” Octavia exclaimed, trying to move her hooves for the sheet to try to cover herself up. Kratos was finally looking at her- but like a pony that was looking at a salt lick stone. Like Fluttershy did that night at the Gala, lusting after animal creatures. The God of War was not having that though, as his hands moved to pin her front hooves to the bed. “What-” She stopped talking, spotting the tent pole forming in his skirt. Her eyes went into little dots, her mouth opening a bit in shock. “You’re not going to watch, are you?” Kratos once more looked at the roof. “Only as long as I need to...” Octavia snapped back to attention, for she heard the voice speaking. Princess... Celestia? ________________________________ “Where are my sunglasses, honey?” Caramel called out to his marefriend, Sassaflash. The brown earth pony was looking around in his suitcase. “Uh, have you checked your head?” The light blue pegasus stood at the doorway, her left hoof pointed up on his head. A pair of sunglasses rested behind his ears. “My head? Now why would...” Caramel moved his right hoof up to his head, feeling something there. He stopped himself and chuckled, a blush forming on his cheeks. “Ah, hehehe...” “Oh sugarcube, you are so cute when you blush like that,” Sassa squeed. She flew up to him, moving her muzzle to rub against his. “I’m so forgetful sometimes. I’m so lucky to have you,” Caramel whispered against her head. “I think it’s all this stress. First these hu-mons. Then the attacks on Ponyville, and who knows what else,” Sassa said as she landed back on the ground. “I think it’s a good idea to take our vacation early. Hopefully, this dragon will be outta here by then.” The couple were staying in his house, which was next door to the Carousel Boutique. “Yeah, hopefully when we get back, this will all be over. Things tend to get resolved around 20 minutes around here...” Caramel commented. Now that the thought about it, this incident seems to be taking longer than usual. The sound of knocking made them both turn their heads. “Now who could that be?” Sassa tilted her head to the side and started to head for the door. “Let me get it. It’s probably ponies telling us to flee because of the shouting dragon,” The earth pony pointed out. Caramel was one of the town “cobblers.” He was a horse shoe maker, and his shop was hit by the changelings. (Which technically makes him a blacksmith, though... You know what? I’m sticking with cobbler.) “Alright. I’m going to continue packing...” Sassa shut her eyes a bit, chuckling. She wasn’t sure if his tools had been stolen, or if he had just lost them again. “Hello-” Caramel opened the door, finding himself looking at one of the humans. This one had a blue suit, much like that Phoenix fellow, and the nametag stated his name was “Barry.” “Hello, I’m your friendly neighborhood door to door phonograph salesman...” Barry spoke, a little depressed. “You gotta be kidding me,” Caramel replied, his voice bored. Weren’t the humans here as heroes? “No sir- The amazing phono-” Barry stopped talking, lifting his head up to blink. “Is this a joke?” “Joke?” Caramel raised his eyebrows. “You’re the one selling me a phonograph!” “You expect me to believe that a horse-” “I’m an earth pony,” Caramel corrected him. “Hey, storm clouds. That was not in the weather almanac...” The pegasus looked up behind her lover. “Oh? A pony? Oh, sorry. Now that totally makes sense!” Barry spoke, getting more animated. Caramel couldn’t tell if this guy was being sarcastic or not- the human had a huge grin on his face. “Let me try this again! Hello sir, I would like to present to you today, the Wonder Graph! The Wonder Graph, is a revolutionary product that takes phonographs to the next level.” “What are you talking about?” Caramel raised his eyebrows. “Ooooh,” Sassa came up behind her coltfriend to look at the phonograph. “Yes, the Wonder Graph has a extra soft handle for your turning comfort, and has the double rotation speed of everyday average phonographs,” Barry presented his case in a monotone voice... As if he practiced this repeatedly. “Who cares? We don’t need a phonograph, there’s a dragon-” “I want a phonograph,” Sassa commented. “But we don't need a phonograph...” Caramel turned to look back at his special pony. “Most pea-ponies don’t think they need a Wonder Graph, but on second thought- They realize they will need a Wonder Graph.” “Barry, there’s a dragon-” “Sir, if you will just watch this demonstration, I will show you. See,, this is your everyday average record,” Barry placed a record on the phonograph. “Look at how the Wonder Graph easily spins the record-” “Of course it’s going to spin the record! It’s a record player!” Caramel started to get frustrated. Sassa still looked interested in the product. “Because of it’s double rotation speed, sir-” “Look behind you! There’s a dragon invading Ponyville!” Caramel pointed with his left hoof. “I need to shut this door, Barry!” “How many Wonder Graphs can I put you down, sir?” Barry asked, slowly getting bored again. Here we was hoping to sell this to a pony. “I don’t want any Wonder Graphs. Are you in or out?” Caramel almost demanded. “How many Graphs, sir?” “Either come inside or stay outside and get eaten by a dragon! We’re about to be attacked, Barry! Make a decision!” “I would like to offer you today only a special-” “Barry! I need to shut this door! Are you coming in or staying out there?” “How many graphs, sir?” “No graphs!” Caramel raised both hooves up over his head, frustrated. Sassa turned her eyes to look at Alduin. “Thank you for your time, sir, I hope in the future if you need a Wonder Graph- Think of Barry for your record player needs.” The human said in a low voice. “Just come inside! Please!” Caramel pleaded. “Thank you, sir,” Barry walked away, a bit sad. “Aw, buck it!” Caramel said, angry now. He was not going to be the pony that let a human get killed! Sassa turned to look at her pony, get excited he was showing a different emotion for once. “What... What is he doing?” “Oh Celestia, he’s walking to the dragon...” The pegasus raised her eyebrows, wondering what that human was thinking. “What?! Is he crazy?” The male pony moved his hooves to rumble the side of his head. “I think he’s trying to sell a Wonder Graph to that Dragon...” Sassa said. “Really?” Caramel raised his eyebrows. “He’s giving the dragon the sale? Damn.” The two watched as Alduin looked down at the smaller than usual humans. They both raised their eyebrows, amazed that Alduin had not just outright eaten Barry. “Wow, this record spinner is amazing,” Alduin said in a quiet growl. The human just spun the record round and round, making the dragon rotate his neck with the spins. “Yes sir, and just for today, I could offer you the amazing Wonder Graph for the low, low price of 50 gold coins,” Barry spoke in a bored toned. He had been hoping that the dragon had been Mr. Cuddles. Mr. Cuddles was a total bro. “I don’t have any gold,” Alduin said, looking down at salesman. “What if I just eat you and take the Wonder Graph?” “Ok, let’s say you do that. How about you have a Wonder Graph with no warranty?” “Damn. I really want that warranty,” Alduin muttered to himself. “Hey, I got this gold axe I got from eating a guy.” “I’m sorry, sir, I have no change,” Barry responded. “Damnit!” Alduin shouted to the sky. “How about you buy 4 Wonder Graphs? They make excellent gifts for friends and family...” “Oh! There we go!” Alduin smiled, lowering his head to give Barry the gold axe. In return, Barry gave the dragon his stash of record players. “Did... Did he just sell to that dragon the Wonder Graph?” Caramel opened his mouth at the salesman. “Now I want one,” Sassa said, pouting a bit. Barry walked away from the dragon, grinning with a brand new axe made of gold. “Sweet,” He said, getting wet. He didn't care though, he finally sold one of those blasted things! Just as Barry walked away, Phoenix was walking out with his Brand activated. “Honey, you should get him in here before he dies of cold...” “I guess so?” Caramel raised his eyebrows. He rushed over to the man and brought him over his house as the other humans started their counter attack. “What were you thinking Barry?!” “I got me a gold axe! Do you know how much swag I can buy? That’s what I’m thinking!” Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura. Bonus: “So... You just cocked Twilight, and she turned into a magical machine gun...” Snake said, hands on his knees bent to look at Pinkie. “Yep! Oh, of course I had to use her tail as the firing trigger,” Pinkie added with a chuckle. The purple unicorn blushed, remembering that embarrassing moment. “Hey Otacon...” “Way ahead of you, Snake,” Otacon responded, moving behind his partner. “Wait, what’s-” Twilight's face lit up more, nervous that the engineer was now holding her up. Otacon cocked her midsection, using her left forehoof to hold her with one arm. His other hand moved to hold her tail and begun to lift it up and down. Unable to help herself, Twilight begun to fire off purple beams from her horn at rapid speeds. “Wow, it worked,” Snake raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Told ya!” Pinkie smiled. “Hm...” Snake turned to look at Trixie. “Oh, don’t you dare!” Trixie squeaked out, retreating slowly as a blush crept on her face. “Come ‘re Trixie,” Snake commanded. Not giving her a choice, the agent raised Trixie into his arms. Much like Otacon, her prepped her too. Hand on her tail, her partner pulled on it. Trixie released a moan, firing off a single light blue blast. Unlike Twilight though, the beam fired off a lot longer distance- But much thinner. “Trixie’s a sniper?” “My turn!” Nate called out. “No! Please Nathan I-” Rarity blushed, finding herself lifting into his arms. Nate petted her mane once, giving a reassuring smile. “Oh fine! Just be rough as you can!” “Uh...” Nate shrugged and pointed Rarity ahead of himself. With a strong tug of her tail, Rarity’s horn blasted off a big burst of magical energy with a bang. “Nice. Shotgun.” “...” Sephiroth turned to look down at Lyra. The minty unicorn had already placed herself in the “gun” position that others had taken. “No.” “Please?” Lyra asked, turning her head up at her partner. Unable to deny her, Sephiroth raised her up and tugged on her tail. The minty unicorn squealed, shooting off a green ball of magic. It flew in an arc a bit before landing on the ground to explode. Terra looked at Cadence. Both shook their heads immediately. Vergil and Shining though... “Let’s do this!” Vergil caught Armor on his left shoulder. The male unicorn lowered his head as Vergil moved his left hand to grab the tail and pull. Like Lyra, a ball of energy was fired, but it traveled much longer and in a straight line. “If you so even...” Celestia narrowed her eyes at The Doctor. The Time Lord shrugged, pointing behind her. Discord picked her up with a grin, cackling with laughter as he begun to tug on her tail. All the solar princess could so was open her mouth and release a warning siren. Travis started to run, getting away from Luna. “But I’m a laser!” Luna pleaded. “I don’t want to know how you know that!” Travis shouted, looking behind himself. Nigel looked at his troops and shrugged. He lowered himself to one knee, looking at Sweetie. “Want to try?” He asked, extending his right hand out to her. “Could you... be gentle with my tail?” Sweetie asked, lifting her head up to look at Number One. He nodded and smiled, moving his arms to hug his partner. Once in position, he lightly pulled on her tail. “Cuteness, inbound,” a voice over the KND radio spoke. “What was...” Nigel picked up his head, hearing the sound of an air strike.