We run into AJ pretty much the moment we reach Sweet Apple Acres. The farm itself looks like a huge, freshly washed bedsheet with all the snow piled everywhere, although if you squint hard enough you can see hoofprints here and there. The sun reflecting off all that whiteness can get blinding while you're in the air, sometimes. Not that I'd crash because of that, obviously. I pick better reasons to have crashes.
“Hello, Applejack. How's the farm work going?” Fluttershy asks. She and AJ get along well, although they don't see eye-to-eye about some things. Me being one of them, of course.
“Not so bad, sugarcube. Ah just finished clearin' the snow for today,” AJ says, tipping her hat to 'Shy. She says she does that because it's good manners, but I think it's just probably to knock all the snow off it. I wonder if her hat gets heavy if she doesn't? I could imagine that. Applejack, strongest neck in the West. Heh.
“Wait, you finished clearing the snow? 'Cause, uh, I'm still seein' an awful lot of snow, AJ,” I remark, pushing over a stray watering can with a hoof. It lands in the snowdrift with a flumpf. I couldn't feel anything sloshing around inside, so the water's probably frozen.
“All the bits that matter, sparrow brain. Our apple trees are pretty hardy when it comes to frost, so we can leave 'em sit for a day or two. Ah'm just focusin' on keepin' the sprouts and the radishes clear.”
I nod, because saying anything will imply I'm interested and then AJ will start talking about plants all day. I don't get plants. I mean, animals, sure. I'm not Fluttershy, but when it comes down to it, animals are just like us – they like to eat, and they like to sleep. Well, I do, anyway. It's just a matter of remembering what eats what and who sleeps when. Plants don't make sense, you can't pet them and they die all the time. Twilight and AJ seem to know vaguely what makes them tick, but I sure don't. 'Shy might; I think she managed to get some mint growing behind the cottage last year, and she got into the habit of using the leaves when she made tea. Of course, that meant we had to go to the blacksmith to get a steel ring made to 'control the growth of the plant.' I mean, seriously – she'll suplex a bear without so much as a safety helmet, but then she needs to break out the ironmongery to do some gardening? I just don't get it.
“So, y'all just makin' a social call, or are we talkin' business? Either's fine, o'course, but if we ain't sellin' or buyin', Ah may as well get some of the upkeep done while we talk.”
“Oh, no. We were just dropping by. Actually, I was going to invite the girls over for supper tonight, and I wondered if I could get Applebloom to pass on the message. Um, that is, if that's okay,” Fluttershy says, adding the last bit a good half-second after the rest. It's more like a verbal tic than anything else, nowadays. I mean, it's a polite one, so nopony minds, but she still qualifies pretty much everything she asks for like that.
“Well, Ah've had her mendin' fences for most of the day, so it won't do her no harm to relax a spell. She's gettin' awful good with a hammer and nail nowadays. She ain't so fast as me, but when she knocks in a nail she knocks it straight,” AJ says, proudly. Applebloom's been able to hammer a nail in straight for years now, but Applejack's still as proud as if she'd learned it yesterday. I guess that's just how AJ is, though. “She should be down in the west field. If you wait here, I'll go and fetch her for ya.”
“Oh, no. I can't let you do that, Applejack,” Fluttershy says, and this is the bit I've been dreading since we walked into the farm. “I'll go and tell her. Why don't you and Rainbow Dash catch up a little?” And before I can stop her, she's off. She can fly pretty fast when she wants to, I guess. Me and AJ share an embarrassed glance.
“She still worry about that?” AJ asks.
“Yup,” I say, and that's all that really needs to be said.
See, the thing with me and AJ is that we're not exactly platonic, if you know what I mean. I'd be lying if I said there was no attraction there, because let's face it, AJ's beautiful. Don't get me wrong, 'Shy's beautiful too and nopony can say she isn't, but AJ's got that lithe, athletic kind of beauty that I really appreciate since I'm an athlete myself. And AJ… Well, she's AJ. The moment she got it through her skull that she liked me, she came and told me about it straight-up. She did it a couple months too late, since I was already sorta dating 'Shy by then, but she did it to clear the air and put everything on the table.
It isn't just looks, either. When I'm around 'Shy, I feel at peace, but there's just something about living with her, in that quiet house with nopony else around, that's just… tiring, somehow. It's like you tiptoe everywhere, but you don't realise you're doing it until you stop. It makes you all lethargic after a while, like living in a daydream. But with AJ, I feel comfortable. It almost seems like I think more like my old self when I'm with her – I start wanting to show off, risk hitting the lows to get to the highs. I think faster, and I can make the witty comebacks that always used to be easy but don't seem to come readily anymore. Stuff like that.
Thing is, none of this matters by itself. I'd never do it – abandon Fluttershy for AJ. 'Shy knows I wouldn't do it, AJ knows I wouldn't do it, I know I wouldn't do it, and even if I tried, I trust AJ to smack me upside the head and send me back to 'Shy again. If we were all just logical about it, there wouldn't even be a problem. But emotions don't work like that. Love doesn't work like that. So what do we do? I try not to hang around AJ too much, because I worry that Fluttershy might get worried. Fluttershy tries to make me go see AJ more, because she's worried that I think she doesn't trust me. And AJ always makes sure not to get too comfy with me because she's worried she's driving a wedge between me and 'Shy. It's like this big old merry-go-round where we all realise we're being stupid and none of us is really happy, but we can't change it.
“So, how's married life?” AJ asks. Her shoulders begin to relax, which is good. It means she's not looking around for work to do while she's speaking to you.
“We're not married, AJ. Geez, did somepony replace your brain with an apple since last time we spoke?” I tease. It feels good. Normally the only pony I get to tease nowadays is Pinkie, and she doesn't realise I'm doing it half the time.
“Yeah, yeah. Y'all are passin' close, though. Who's your best mare gonna be?” she asks. AJ doesn't give two horseshoes about my teasing most of the time, but that kinda makes me want to mess with her even more.
“Quit it, AJ. You know I'm not big on the whole marriage thing.”
Which is true; she does. That's the nice thing about her. If AJ wants to know something she asks straight out, no matter how stupid it is. You get to a point where you've pretty much already talked about all the awkward stuff with her, or refused to talk about it in which case she doesn't ask again. I like that better than somepony like Rarity, who doesn't ask you straight out but keeps asking you in all these subtle ways for days and days after you've said no.
Of course, it comes with its own downsides. Case in point: after I told her me and 'Shy were dating, it took all of ten minutes before she asked what the sex was like. I didn't tell her, obviously. That stuff's private. Not just because Fluttershy would literally die of embarrassment if I said anything, but because it's important. Because of what 'Shy does – who she is, basically – I have to share her with the animals for most of the time. I don't mind that, because I understand that that's the way it's gotta be. But it means that the times when we're in bed together are some of the only times I have her all to myself. As it is, I don't begrudge the animals for taking up so much of her time and attention, but if I didn't have those moments, I think I might.
“Ah know, ah know. Just messin' with ya. But y'all never answered m'question.”
“…Life's good, AJ. Life's good. I'm tryin' to set up a trip, get me and 'Shy out of the cottage for the winter. It's too quiet up there. But I don't think she's too excited about it, and I don't want to feel like I'm dragging her along with me against her will.”
AJ sighs, tips her hat again – I knew she was just dislodging snowflakes – trots over to a fencepost and kicks it. You can hear the entire fence shuddering, like tin cans connected by string, but the important thing is that it knocks the snow off. She leans against it, and motions for me to follow suit. “Plannin' a trip, huh. Y'all doin' it for her, or for you? Call me crazy, but Ah'm thinking it's the latter.”
“Bit of both,” I admit, taking my place next to Applejack. “That place doesn't do either of us any good. You can hardly breathe for the silence sometimes, AJ.”
She nods. She knows how it is. They call farming the lonely profession for a reason – long, unsociable hours, concerns about harvest patterns that nopony else understands, and the need to be a ways away from populated areas so you physically have the land for it. I don't think it's a coincidence that the Apples place so much value on family, or that AJ works herself ragged to help out her friends. I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
“Y'all are mighty quiet yourself nowadays, Dash. Ah ain't saying it's a bad thing, but Ah just worry that Fluttershy's winter blues are contagious. If the house bothers you so much, why not ask 'Shy if you can both stay at your old place in the cold season?”
“It's an idea,” I admit. It'd be a bit chillier, since my old house doesn't have a fireplace, but I still own the deeds and everything. It's a lot closer to town than the cottage, too, so we could just fly down and visit Twilight or Rarity or Pinkie at the drop of a hat. We'd have to think of a way to get Tank and Angel up there, but that doesn't sound like anything Twi couldn't handle. I wonder if Fluttershy would go for it, though. I mean, sure, she'd pack her bags in seconds if I told her it was getting to me, but...
For some reason, I can't even entertain the thought. It just doesn't work. I try and picture the conversation in my head, but all I get is static, some kind of white hiss where me and Fluttershy should be. As I realise that, it feels like a little something just slotted into place – like whatever wheels keep turning in my brain have finally found the right groove.
“'Course it is. Most o' my ideas have got some sense in 'em. Ah just don't wanna catch you mopin' around, cause 'Shy relies on ya to keep her spirits up.”
“Like I care what you think, AJ. If I want to mope, I'll mope,” I reply archly, but I'm posing and she knows it. That's how we work – I say things I don't mean, and I trust her to know I don't mean them.
She nods lazily, and starts to tell me what Pinkie's been up to lately. That's helpful, really. When you ask Pinkie directly you get a totally different story, which usually has more space aliens in it. Before long we're talking in half-formed sentences and bits of old jokes that only we know, carrying on from stories we started telling weeks or months ago. That's the way things are between us. We talk quickly because we've got so much to say, taking time out to call each other idiots now and then, and whenever there's silence it's just a place to take a breath and spin out the next yarn in our heads. Sure, we're a little closer than friends, and a little further away than we want to be, but that's no reason to make things awkward between us. We pretty much agreed that.
We're having a lot of fun, so it isn't until 'Shy comes back that we realise (with a sudden, awful synchrony) that even if the fence doesn't have snow on it, it's still pretty dang cold. I blame AJ, AJ says she never said I had to lean with her, and Fluttershy fights the urge to giggle.
“Um, are we ready to go?” she asks, but only after I've knocked AJ's hat off. She knows I love doing that.
“Ah thought you'd never come back and get her off mah hooves. Good riddance,” AJ jokes, before falling still like a pool of water. “Y'all know you're welcome on the farm whenever you like. Both of ya, hear?”
Fluttershy looks at AJ, and AJ looks at Fluttershy, and maybe I don't understand them as well as I thought because whatever secret message they're passing makes no sense to me. But if 'Shy isn't telling me, it's probably nothing I need to know. That's my philosophy, anyway.
“Of course. And you're always welcome to stay over at the cottage,” Fluttershy replies, and her voice is softer and quieter than usual. Or maybe my ears are just used to AJ's volume. “We should, um, let you get on with your work.”
I shift the saddlebags with the shopping in them, the ones I forgot I was even wearing up till now. She's right, of course. Grain doesn't exactly like being out in the snow, and we have a dinner to set up. I'm happier now than before we went out shopping, though. I hardly feel tired at all. I make a mental note to ask her about my old place, and fall into step beside her as we leave. We speak softly to each other in half-formed sentences, and with that I feel content.