I don't even know, Tia!
Luna yawned as she strode down the hallway towards the kitchens; her sister had tried to persuade a mass of ponies to come to her lunar court, however, she had a very cunning mind, and told them that Celestia had far more influence in politics, and could get things done faster than she could, as well as giving far more favorable outcomes. That quickly reduced the number of ponies that wished to do business with her down to a more manageable size, and once they had been heard and her judgement given, she decided that a little snack would be welcome indeed. After all, ponies didn't really visit her, anyways, unless they couldn't get heard in the solar court, had no time to wait in line for Celestia to listen to her, or they wanted to try and assassinate her, for 'the solar empire'; unfortunately for them, they always seemed to use water guns and pie as assassination tools. Ponies these days were weird, but at least it was relatively peaceful (Though the apple pies were getting on her nerves).
As she got closer to the kitchens, she heard yelling and various explosions; apparently, this was a normal thing, as Celestia had assured her one day, but she never knew why, nor did Celestia know either. The guards standing just outside the kitchens straightened up as they saw her, although she swore that they passed an uneasy look towards each other; one that didn't make her feel any less uncomfortable as they barred her access to the kitchens. She did not take kindly to this fact, and sighed.
"May we...I enter the kitchen? I require a small snack from my private fridge."
The guard on the right spoke up first, visibly discomforted by something. "Princess Luna, you really don't want to go in right now, trust me." An explosion sounded out from the kitchen, as well as some muted yelling, and the other guard winced.
"What she said; the kitchens are...'Occupied' at this time." Luna glared down at the two guards, who, to their credit, did not flinch under her gaze.
"I demand entrance into your kitchen, as the lunar princess!" The command could not be ignored, and the guards opened up the doors, though the female guard muttered softly to herself as she tugged her door open.
"I warned you, princess...It ain't pretty inside, and we're locking the doors immediately after you go inside."
"I do not believe that the kitchen is a terrible place to be, and what need of locks is there?!" Luna strode into the kitchens...
...Where she saw the biggest mess that she ever laid her eyes on. The door was promptly closed behind her, and she thought she heard a lock click behind her, although the scene in front of her was far more attention getting; pies and cakes were smashed across the floor, many ponies were on said floor, moaning from being impacted by whatever pie or cake they got hit from (She gave a short prayer to those that got hit by apple pies), and food carts were overturned, creating makeshift barriers between what appeared to be two warring sides, both of which stared at Luna as she took everything at face value. The silence and tension was so thick, she didn't think she could cut it with a knife; eventually, a small morsel of courage was found within her, and she raised a hoof, as well as a slight smile, in what she hoped was a friendly gesture.
"...Hello, everypony? I hope I'm not..."
"DEATH TO THE LUNAR TYRANT! SOLAR EMPIRE FOREVER!"
The chaos immediately started again, and Luna dived underneath one of the overturned food carts, covering her head with her hooves and shouting out. "WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT HAVE I STUMBLED UPON?! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CAKES AND PIES FLYING AROUND?! YOU BETTER NOT BE THROWING MY MOON PIES!" A stallion suddenly came up next to her, with a pie in his hooves, and as he lobbed it over the food cart, he smiled grimly when he saw it impact a mare on the far side of the room. Quickly, he hid behind the food cart again, and explained the situation to a cowering Princess Luna.
"Gotcha! Sorry, Princess, but you came by at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong intentions! All of us here on this side are the real kitchen staff; we're defending you from a group of infiltrators that dressed up like us and wish to assassinate you! We've kept them contained at the kitchens, but none of us can leave the kitchens because the doors were locked until you came by, but I'm sure they're closed again by now! Oh, and, I don't think any moon pies are being thrown, either."
What. So there was a huge food war occurring in the kitchens, there were guards right outside that could, or at least should be able to hear the fighting, and they haven't come in to help the ponies? Were they corrupt? What had she stumbled into? At least her moon pies were safe. She watched as the ponies on this side of the kitchen continue to lob desserts across the room, all the while dodging desserts thrown by the opposing force, and the amazing thing was, there was quite a variety of 'weapons' being used; slingshots were used to propel muffins, egg beaters and rollers were used as melee weapons, and there were even cannons being loaded with muffins! Her observing was rudely interrupted as the frosting from a cake hit her; she reached out a hoof towards the frost, but immediately, a cry went up from a mare that happened to see the princess reach out towards the frosting now adorning her rump.
"The princess has been hit by shrapnel! We need medical assistance!" Immediately, a pony wearing a nurse hat had appeared, and was quickly wiping away the frosting that was on Luna, then placing a bandage on her rump; as she was 'treating' her 'wounds', the 'nurse' grit her teeth in obvious anger at the ponies on the other side. Meanwhile, Luna was indignant that somepony would messily plaster a bandage on a non-existent wound on her rump, the look on the mare's face told her to humor the 'nurse'. Even though the events happening right now were explained to her earlier, she still felt like she knew absolutely nothing about what was happening right now.
"How dare they strike at the Princess! We need to use the big cakes and pies!" The stuff they were using right now was small fry compared to what else they had? What kind of bakers did they have? Luna's mulling over the though was interrupted by a soft gasp coming from some random mare nearby that was almost completely drenched in pie and cake remnants, and even had an eye patch and scars running across her face; was this really a baker? REALLY? This mare looked more like a pirate than anything else! The heck, had her sister just hired anypony that could cook for her, and skipped the background checks?
"No, lassie! We cae-nae use tha' biggies!"
"They have injuried Luna's big royal tushie!" At that, Luna began to hotly intervene, insulted once again.
"My tushie is not that bi-"
"DUCK!"
The scarred baker tackled the 'nurse' to the floor, and the scarred 'baker' had taken the pie that was originally meant for the 'nurse'; immediately, the nurse set to work on the scarred 'baker', who was cursing in bakery terms and had even managed to cause Luna to blush and look away from the sheer intensity and dirtiness of her words.
"OKAY, 'HAT IS IT, THEM (Omitted for five minutes of dirty words) ARE GOIN' TO TASTE THA' BIGGIES!"
As the mare said this, the door opened, with a surprised Princess Celestia looking on the scene with confusion.
"What in th-"
"THE DOOR IS OPEN, GET PRINCESS LUNA OUT OF THE CROSSFIRE!" At once Luna felt herself suddenly shoved out the door, and unfortunately, directly at her sister, who didn't have any time at all to prepare for the sudden and painful collision with Luna. Both alicorns groaned in pain, and Luna laid her head down on Celestia's chest, wondering what just happened. The two guards at the door tried to not stare at the two alicorns in their compromising position, though it was very hard for them to focus on their job, which was, namely, to prevent any kitchen staff from leaving the kitchen; they were quite insane, all things considered. Eventually, Celestia managed to mumble her sister's name softly.
"...Lulu?"
"Yes, Tia...?"
"What just happened?"
She wanted to tell her sister everything, from the huge amounts of food that was being wasted right now, to the infiltrators of the castle that were now waging a war on the kitchen staff, to the mare that had handled her roughly as she pressed a bandage to her rump, and to the guards that were clearly neglecting their duties, but she said none of these things. Instead, she took a deep breath, and said...
"I don't even know, Tia!"