//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: My Little Battlestar // by steve_the_slim //------------------------------// Chapter 2 Several hours earlier: The Royal Palace, Canterlot My faithful student, I am sorry to trouble you with this, but I feel that you should be alerted. I have recently become aware of the existence of what may turn out to be a grave threat to Equestria. I am unsure as of yet of the intentions of the entities I detected, and there is a strong possibility that they will simply leave us in peace without ever making anyone else aware of their presence. However, the chance remains that Equestria may soon come under attack. I apologize for my obtuseness, but I cannot risk this letter falling into the wrong hands. For now, this must be kept private. If I have need of you and the other Elements of Harmony, I will instruct you to inform them, and only them, of the situation. I will of course provide you with additional information should that indeed be the case. I dearly hope that things will not come to that. If you see anything unusual, particularly in the sky, please inform me at once. Princess Celestia The Princess of the Sun rolled up the scroll and burned it with a simple spell. With that done, she placed the quill back in the inkwell on her desk and levitated a blank scroll onto the table, picking the quill back up as she did so. She got as far as addressing the letter to General Stormwind, commander of the Guard’s pegasus battalion, before she heard a voice behind her; a voice that she had fervently hoped to never hear again. “Ah, Celestia. It’s good to see you again. It’s been quite a long time, hasn’t it?” Celestia turned around and glared at the man standing behind her. “Not long enough. This was your doing, wasn’t it?” The man, who spoke with an accent frighteningly similar to that common among the Canterlot elite, smiled slyly. “And just what would make you say that? I wasn’t the one who decided to send them here. I’m just following the plan.” Celestia narrowed her eyes. “I’m surprised you and Discord never got along. You both seem to have a lot in common. Especially the way you both love to interfere with things you have no business meddling in.” “You know, I almost came by to see him a few months ago. Unfortunately I was rather busy at the time, and by the time I finally had a spare moment you’d already managed to turn him back into a lawn ornament. I was rather looking forward to a chance to spar with him.” “Pity.” “But anyway, I just thought it’d be a good idea to remind you to follow the rules. Especially since...” Celestia cut him off. “Ha! You think you can tell me about rules? We had an agreement, Baltar, and you broke it. You’re in no position to lecture me on ‘the rules’.” “Well, if you want to be that way. I was going to tell you something, but I suppose it can wait. You’ll find out soon enough anyway, I suppose. Just so you know, this wasn’t my idea. In fact, I was initially rather opposed to it. But it’s God’s plan, not mine. I’m merely playing my part.” “You know he doesn’t like that name.” Baltar merely smirked, then vanished from sight. * * * Briefing Room 02, The Battlestar Galactica “You’re absolutely sure? There’s no way this could have been an error in our instruments?” Adama asked. “Admiral, I highly doubt our observation equipment was that badly damaged. It’s plainly visible to the naked eye, so unless everybody’s brains were scrambled in that last jump, then it’s true,” Doctor Gaius Baltar replied, slightly indignantly. “I’m as surprised as you are, but we have to accept this. Besides, it’s one hell of a discovery. If any astronomers back home had been able to find this and verify it, it would’ve been the find of a century. And it makes me wonder if there might perhaps have been a grain of truth in the ancient writings that said Kobol’s sun orbited the planet.” “Well, don’t go getting too excited, Doc,” Colonel Tigh butted in. “We’ve got bigger things to worry about than a star not doing what it’s supposed to.” “But that’s just it, Colonel, I’m not sure this is a star at all. It certainly looks like one, but nothing that small could possibly sustain a fusion reaction, at least not the way a star does. This could turn half of modern physics on its head.” Adama cut him off. “This is all very interesting, Doctor, but it doesn’t really matter at the moment. What does matter is making sure this planet is going to be safe if we decide to go down there. Did you finish the analysis of the atmosphere?” Baltar huffed irritably, but pulled out another page from his briefcase. “Of course I did. There’s nothing extraordinary about the planet that I can see. The air’s the same as it is on the Colonies. Not really any pollution, but that’s to be expected given the apparent lack of technology. I did spot a few unusual-looking storm systems, but for all we know that could be normal for this world. I can’t see anything that would prevent human habitation.” Adama stood up. “Alright, thank you, Doctor. If you’ll excuse us, Colonel Tigh and I have an operation to plan, and I believe you have a Quorum to brief.” * * * Present: A field just outside Ponyville Rainbow Dash touched down in the field, carefully watching the creature that had just climbed out of what she now understood to be some kind of flying machine. It had green, scaly-looking skin and what appeared to be an armored head, and stood on its hind legs. It had hands like a dragon, but it didn’t seem to have any claws. The creature lifted its hands to its head and pulled. Dash was confused for a moment until she realized that it was wearing some kind of helmet. When it pulled its helmet off, she took a good look at its face. It had no hair other than a short blonde mane, and the skin on its face, unlike the rest of its body, was a pasty, whitish color. Dash wondered if what she thought was its skin might have been some kind of full-body suit. She started to carefully walk towards the creature, ready to leap into the air if it made any threatening moves. As she did, she turned her attention to the machine. It was dart-shaped, with a pointed front and three winglike projections coming off the back. The two lower wings were much larger than the vertical one in the top, and were sharply swept back. Long tubes protruded out of the forward-most part of each lower wing. They reminded her of gun barrels, and she realized with a start that the little lights she had seen zipping past her probably were what she’d thought they were. This guy has some explaining to do. The creature was staring back at her as she walked closer. When she had gotten fairly close, it started laughing. This made Dash even more confused. Well, if it laughs, it probably talks, she thought. Time to find out. * * * “What the hay are you, anyway?” Starbuck stopped laughing. Oh, gods, this is really happening, isn’t it? She stared open-mouthed at the pegasus as it spoke again. “Were you shooting at me?” it asked, clearly expecting what the answer would be and even more clearly not happy about it. Well, there goes the whole ‘don’t piss off the locals’ plan. “Well, technically, it wasn’t me that was shooting, it was my wingman…” Starbuck was interrupted when the pegasus lifted off and hovered in front of her at eye level, glaring at her. She continued “…and he was trying to protect me. He wasn’t trying to hit you, just scare you off.” Starbuck didn’t think the pegasus could have looked more confused than it already had, but she was proven wrong. At least it backed off slightly. “What do you mean, ‘protect you’?” it asked. “I was just trying to catch up to you!” Now it was Starbuck’s turn to be annoyed. “Oh, really? So you never even considered that maybe chasing after a damaged ship that was broadcasting a distress signal might not be the best idea? The way you were latched on to my tail, I was expecting to get shot down any second! What the frak were you thinking, Rainbow?” The pegasus started to say something, then stopped. Then it said, very slowly, “How do you know my name?” Starbuck blinked twice. “Uh…that’s really your name? Rainbow? Explains the hair, I guess…” “Actually, it’s Rainbow Dash,” the pegasus replied. “And I still don’t get why you thought I was going to attack you. Why would I?” “Well, we did kind of violate your airspace. We figured when the first guy that intercepted us didn’t respond you just wanted us gone.” “Wait, you thought we’d attack you just for flying over Equestria? I mean, yeah, you’re kind of supposed to ask before you come in, but we’d never attack you for something like that! That’s crazy!” The pegasus paused for a moment. “Hang on, who was the first one to come after you?” “I don’t know who it was. Somebody made a head-on pass at us up in the stratosphere. One of my engines failed when we started to head back up to orbit and I had to land here.” Immediately after saying this, Starbuck had to resist the urge to facepalm. Oh gods, please don’t notice that I just said we came from space. Please please please please… “Orbit? But that’s…then you’re…you’re a space alien!?” GODS DAMMIT WHY CAN’T I KEEP MY FRAKKIN’ MOUTH SHUT? “Uh, well, yeah, I guess.” The pegasus, instead of flying off in fear as Starbuck had expected, grinned excitedly. “That is so…AWESOME! I can’t wait to tell everypony I just met a real live space alien!” The pegasus made a little “squee” noise and turned toward the town, looking like it was about to fly off. “Whoa, whoa, hang on there, Rainbow,” Starbuck said. “I wasn’t actually supposed to tell you that. I don’t think it’s really a good idea to spread that around yet.” “Aw, why not? I’m sure Twilight would love to meet an alien. She’s got a whole bunch of books about space and stuff.” “Yeah, well, this was kind of supposed to be a hush-hush operation, Rainbow. I’ll be in enough trouble as it is for telling you who I am, and I sure as hell don’t need the whole town showing up here,” Starbuck said. “Besides, I won’t be staying long. There’s a rescue plane coming to pick me up and take me back to my ship.” “You sure you can’t come meet my friends? Pinkie Pie’s not gonna be happy if you leave before she gets the chance to throw you some kind of party.” The pegasus looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hay, you never told me your name.” “I’m Captain Kara Thrace.” The pegasus’s ears perked up slightly at the word ‘captain’. “Oooh, so if you’re a captain, does that mean you’re in charge of the mothership?” Starbuck chuckled. “Nah. I’m just a pilot.” The pegasus gave her a confused look. “What’s a pilot?” “It means someone who flies planes, like this one.” Starbuck pointed to her Viper. “Huh. So why are you here?” Dash asked. “Or is that too ‘hush-hush’ for you to tell me?” The pegasus moved her front legs in a gesture resembling air-quotes when she said “hush-hush”. Starbuck sighed. “Yeah, it’s not something I can tell you. I’m not even sure if we’re going to stay here. This planet might not be the safest place for us to stick around.” “How come?” Dash asked. “Nopony’s going to hurt you. Equestria’s the most peaceful place in the world!” “It’s not you I’m worried about,” Starbuck replied. “It’s…” she trailed off as she saw four ponies come galloping over the ridge and right toward her. * * * Oh, thank Celestia! Twilight thought. I didn’t think the tracking spell would last long enough. One of the strange machines sat in the field ahead of her and the others. She saw Rainbow Dash hovering next to a tall creature that was…wait, what they hay is that thing? And what’s Dash doing talking to it!? * * * Starbuck once again found herself instinctively reaching for her sidearm. “Hey, Rainbow Dash? Who are they?” She pointed at the four approaching ponies. Dash looked where Starbuck was pointing, then her face brightened. “Oh, those are my friends.” She waved at the four ponies. “Hey guys! Over here!” she shouted. “Come meet Kara Thrace! She’s a space alien!” “Dammit, Rainbow, I said not to tell anyone about that.” Godsdammit, this is just gonna be one thing after another, isn’t it? Starbuck thought as the ponies trotted up to her. Each pony was a different color; one purple, one pink, one white, and one a ruddy orange-ish color. The purple and white ponies had horns like unicorns. Their manes were also different colors, and she noticed that each of them had some kind of tattoo on its flank. What the frak is this, some little girls’ cartoon? Not exactly what I was expecting to find living on this rock, that’s for sure! Three of the ponies reacted the way Starbuck would have expected them to react to hearing that the creature in front of them was an alien: a mixture of shock, fear, and excitement. The purple one seemed to be thinking about something. From its expression, Starbuck guessed that it had already suspected what she was. The purple pony stepped forward. Its expression went from thoughtful to pissed off. “Just what do you think you’re doing, shooting at my friend?” it said angrily. Oh for the love of… “Look, I already explained it to Rainbow Dash. We both got confused about what was going on and misunderstood what the other one was doing. My ship was damaged, I thought she was trying to shoot me down, and my wingman tried to scare her off with warning shots. We never tried to hurt her.” The purple pony didn’t look convinced and started to say something else, but the pink one cut her off. “Hey, I’ve never seen anything like you before! Are you some kind of monkey? Oh, no wait, a dragon? No, you don’t really look like a dragon. Are you…mmph!” The orange pony stuffed a hoof in the pink one’s mouth. “Sorry ‘bout Pinkie. She’s just a little excited, is all,” the orange one said. She extended a hoof to Starbuck. “Ah’m Applejack, and this here’s Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity,” she said. “Ah see you’ve already met Rainbow Dash.” She lowered her hoof when Starbuck didn’t shake it. “Sorry. Ah guess aliens don’t shake hooves?” “What? Oh, no, sorry, no, we shake.” Starbuck bent down and shook Applejack’s hoof. “I, uh, wasn’t exactly expecting ponies to do that.” The purple one spoke up again. “Alright, look, I don’t know what Rainbow Dash did to scare you, but you can’t just go around shooting at anypony you don’t know! I don’t care what kind of crazy alien culture you have, that’s just wrong!” “Twi, she said it was just a misunderstandin’…” Applejack started to say. Starbuck interrupted before the purple unicorn could say whatever it was she was about to say. “Look, I should really tell you what’s going on. The Old Man’s gonna tear me a new one, but frak it, you need to know.” Starbuck took a deep breath, then continued. “The reason we’re here is because my people are at war.” The ponies all gasped pretty much simultaneously. “Our ship was damaged in a battle and we jumped here. Your planet’s so close to the enemy base we were attacking we assumed it was one of their colonies. We were flying recon to see what we might be up against, and that’s why when Rainbow Dash came after me I assumed she was trying to shoot me down.” Dash was the first one to speak. “Wait, who are you at war with?” “They’re called Cylons. Um, do you have robots here?” Starbuck asked. “Well, they don’t exist in real life, but I’ve read fictional stories about them,” Twilight said. “That works. Anyway, we made robots called Cylons to do our work for us. They decided they didn’t want to, and they rebelled. We fought a war with them, and then they made peace with us and left. We didn’t hear anything from them for forty years. And then they came back. And they…they killed everyone.” Twilight’s eyes grew wide. “Everyone?” Starbuck nodded. “Just about. They hacked our computers and shut down all our defenses. Then they nuked our planets from orbit, and when they finished that they sent down troops and hunted down the survivors. It was a slaughter. As far as I know, our fleet’s all that’s left.” Her voice was flat and devoid of emotion. “We’ve been running from them for years. I don’t know if we can keep going anymore.” The pink pony lunged forward and wrapped its front legs around Starbuck’s waist. The pilot started to jump back, then she realized that the pony was hugging her. Very tightly. “Ack…can’t…breathe…” she gasped. “Oops, sorry. You just looked like you needed a hug,” the pink pony said. “Hey, I know! I should throw a party for you and all the other…um, what are you called again?” “Humans.” “But yeah, we’ll have a big ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party and there’ll be cake and ice cream and balloons and…” “Yeah, we get it, Pinkie,” Dash said. “…and you can forget all about those mean meanie-pants robots, because there’s no way Princess Celestia is gonna let anypony do anything to you guys…” This time it was Starbuck who interrupted. “Wait, a princess? Is that who’s in charge around here?” “Princess Celestia is the ruler of Equestria,” Twilight said. “She’s the one who raises the sun.” “Raises the…wait, what?” Dash pointed up at the sun. “Y’know, the sun…big yellow thing up there…” “And this princess can control it?” “Of course,” Twilight said. “It’s not like it’s going to move on its own, is it?” Starbuck just stared at the unicorn. When she said nothing, Twilight continued, “Don’t you have someone to raise the sun where you’re from?” Starbuck spoke slowly. “The sun doesn’t move. Our planets orbit their stars by themselves.” Starbuck was, of course, aware of the unusual body orbiting this planet, but she hadn’t bothered to concern herself with it when there was a mission to fly. That was for someone like Baltar to figure out. “Your planet orbits a star?” Twilight sounded genuinely shocked. “It doesn’t have a sun of its own?” “Geez, next I bet she’ll say they can’t control the weather or something,” Dash said. “Um…we can’t…” The pegasus’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Don’t you have any magic at all?” Twilight asked. “Uh, magic? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist,” Starbuck said. All the ponies seemed to go into shock when she said that. Twilight looked like her brain had completely shut down. The white unicorn spoke for the first time. “How does your society manage to function without magic? How do you find gems or enchant your machines? How does your world even function?” “Oh, c’mon, Rarity, ya don’t hafta do ever’thing with magic,” Applejack said. “Ya just figure out how ta do it with yer own two hooves.” Twilight finally seemed to regain the ability to think. “This isn’t the same thing, Applejack,” she said. “Magic is what keeps the whole world running. A pony can live without magic just fine, sure, but not an entire world. Besides, even earth pony telekinesis is magic, even if it’s not very strong. Imagine if you couldn’t pick up anything with your hooves at all!” The ponies were interrupted in their discussion by the roar of engines. Starbuck looked up and saw a familiar brown plane circling around and coming in to land. “Well, looks like my ride’s here. Sorry guys, time for me to go.” Pinkie Pie somehow grabbed her hand with a hoof. “You can’t go! I have to throw you a party, remember?” “Sorry, Pinkie, but I’ve gotta get back to my ship. But if we decide to stay, I promise I’ll let you throw me a party.” Starbuck turned back toward the Raptor, which was touching down a short distance away from her Viper. Pinkie held on. “Wait! Pinkie Promise?” Starbuck rolled her eyes. “Sure. Pinkie Promise. Can you let go now?” “Hold on, you have to say it. ‘Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.’” Starbuck Pinkie Promised, and Pinkie let go of her hand. “Are you sure you wanna do that, Kara? Pinkie’s pretty serious about her Pinkie Promises,” Dash said. “I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine, Rainbow.” Dash shrugged. “All I can say is you’d better go to that party.” The Raptor’s hatch opened as Starbuck walked towards it, and two Marines jumped out, rifles at the ready. They did a quick visual scan of the field, then lowered their weapons, apparently satisfied. One of the Marines pointed at the ponies. “What the frak kind of horses are those?” “Actually, those are the natives,” Starbuck said. “Real funny, Starbuck.” The Marine glanced at his compatriot. “You got the charges?” The other Marine nodded. “Charges? What the hell do you need explosives for?” Starbuck asked. “We gotta blow up your plane. Admiral’s orders. He doesn’t want any of our hardware ending up with someone other than us.” “Just make sure you tell the ponies to stay clear.” “Sure, Starbuck, I’ll shoo ‘em away.” Starbuck looked the Marine in the eye. “I’m not kidding, private. Those ponies are as smart as any human. And they don’t like guns, so keep it down.” The Marine didn’t seem to be convinced, but he said “Yes ma’am” before heading over to the Viper with the other soldier. Starbuck climbed into the Raptor, then turned around and watched the Marines. The one she had spoken to gestured at the ponies to move back. Starbuck couldn’t hear what he said, but apparently it worked, because the ponies backed up as the other Marine attached several magnetic bombs to the Viper’s hull. Satisfied with their work, the two Marines jogged back to the Raptor and climbed aboard. The pilot closed the hatch and lifted off. Starbuck poked her head into the cockpit and watched as the pilot swiveled the plane around to face the Viper. The ECO pulled out a remote detonator, looked over at the ponies to make sure they were far enough away, then pushed the button. The Viper was torn apart by the blast, and when the smoke cleared all that was left was twisted debris. Five startled-looking ponies stood at the edge of the field, unharmed. The Raptor zoomed upwards into the sky, headed back to Galactica.