"That sounds terrible," exclaimed a pink pony sitting next to Alexander.
"GAH!" Alexander yelled in surprise as he fell out of his seat. "Where in the Emperor's Name did YOU come from?"
"Hey Pinkie," Twilight greeted the pink party pony while Rainbow Dash snickered at the human splayed across the floor.
"Hey Twilight, hey Dashie," bounced Pinkie Pie.
"seriously, where the hell did you come from?" Alexander raged as he tried to get up, before Pinkie bounced on his chest, knocking him back down. "Oof!"
The pink pony was an inch from Alexander's face. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"
"I'm Alexander. Can you please get offa me?"
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
Alexander stood up as the pink ball of energy bounced around the room. He looked to Twilight and Rainbow Dash who looked ready to burst with barely suppressed laughter. "Is she always this..." Alexander waved his arm at Pinkie Pie.
Twilight nodded, smiling slightly. "Pretty much."
Alexander jerked back as Pinkie bounced in his face, again. "Wow, you're almost as tall as Princess Celestia."
Alexander frowned. "I'm sorry, who?"
"Princess Celestia, silly-billy." Pinkie giggled, as if that explained everything.
"oh, that reminds me," Twilight said. "I need to send Princess Celestia a letter about the day's events." She turned to Pinkie Pie. "Can you show Alexander around Ponyville?
"Okie-dokie Twilight." The exuberant pony bounced out the door.
Alexander frowned. "I'm not going anywhere until I get my armor and weapons back." He crossed his arms, staring at Twilight.
"Oh, I had the armor sent to rarity at Carousel Boutique," Twilight responded. "It looked like it could use some adjustments. As for your weapons," Twilight walked over to a chest by the wall and floated Alexander's holstered laspistol, chainsword, and empty flamer over to him. "They're right here."
Alexander put the laspistol and chainsword on his belt and slung the flamer over a shoulder. "Thanks, I guess I'll see you later."
Pinkie popped out from the chest. "What are you waiting for silly-billy, let's go!"
Alexander starred at Pinkie. "How-when-wha?" He looked at Twilight as Rainbow Dash fell out of the air laughing.
Twilight just shook her head. "I gave up trying to figure Pinkie out ages ago."
Pinkie began pushing Alexander out the door before he could formulate a response. "Well c'mon Sparky, we don't have all day!" Alexander sputtered.
"My name's Alexander."
"Whatever you say Sparky."
"Over there's the joke shop, and over there's the..."
Not knowing what else to do, Alexander followed the pink pony-shaped rubber ball down the street. He could feel the stares from the locals on the back of his neck. He didn't know why, but he felt strangely comfortable around these...ponies. It was an unlikely thing, considering that all Imperial Guardsmen were trained to hate anything not human. Perhaps it was how human the ponies seemed, although he never was one to hate without reason. They were very good bakers, Alexander thought, remembering his short visit at Sugarcube Corner. Still, it was a good thing the platoon commissar wasn't here. That crazy bastard would have had the place burning before you could say 'heretic.'
Alexander came out of his musings as Pinkie Pie led him to a large farm filled with apple orchards.
"-and that's how Equestria was made," Pinkie concluded, coming to a stop. "We're here!"
Wait, what?
A orange pony with a blonde mane (Is that a stetson on her head?) greeted Alexander and Pinkie Pie. "Howdy, ma name's Applejack, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres."
Pinkie Pie started bouncing around Alexander. "Hey AJ, this is Sparky!"
Alexander rubbed his face. "How many times do I have to tell you, my name is not Sparky it's Alexander!"
Applejack just smiled at the annoyed human. "Y'all must be the one who done saved ma little sister. Ah can't thank y'all enough."
"She alright?" Alexander asked.
"Yup, but she's in big trouble." The cowpony shook her head. "Ah can't believe mah little sister would disobey me like that."
"Well, I'm glad she's ok." Alexander frowned. "How'd you know it was me?"
"Well, how many other two legged aliens are out there?"
Before he could say anything, Pinkie started dragging Alexander away. "C'mon, I got more to show you."
"Y'all feel free to drop by anytime, y'hear?" Applejack called out as the protesting human disappeared over the hill.
"..and this is Carousel Boutique!" Pinkie pie concluded as she bounced to a halt. "Rarity is waiting for you inside. Bye."
Alexander frowned. "Where are y-"
BOOM!
Alexander turned around just in time to see Pinkie flying out of a pink cannon towards town. "-going?" The hell? Where did she-how did she...?
It was several minutes before Alexander was able to close his jaw. He turned towards the door of the Carousel Boutique, wondering what weirdness was going to happen next. Swallowing, Alexander slowly approached the door before grasping the handle, steeling himself against whatever bizarre things were waiting for him inside. Fear is naught, for I am strong. Here goes.
Alexander opened the door and looked around, finding to his great relief that nothing was jumping at him. He walked in and closed the door. "Hello?"
A white unicorn with a purple mane walked in from another room. "Hello, you must be Alexander. I am Rarity, and it is a pleasure to meet you." She looked at his clothes, noticing the tears and stains in the khaki fatigues. "Oh dear, we can't have you going about in those rags, I'll just have to fix that." Her horn glowed as the stains in Alexander's fatigues disappeared as the tears seemed to sew themselves shut.
Alexander blinked. "Um, thank you," Alexander responded, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I was told you had my armor?"
"Oh, yes it's just this way." Rarity turned and lead Alexander into the next room. "Dreadful choice of palette, I must say, but it's functionality of design, oh, such craftsponyship."
"Craftsponyship? Really?"
"Pardon?"
Alexander shook his head. "Nevermind." Moving to the armor, he began to put it on piece by piece over his fatigues, examining each part now that he had the time. As Alexander put on the helmet and completed the seal with the rebreather, he picked up the backpack left on the floor. Why he had grabbed that in the ship's armory, Alexander had no idea, but considering where he was now, he was glad to have the added versatility of being able to carry extra supplies if he needed to. The Guardsman paused. Why didn't I use this to grab some extra grenades? Shaking his head, Alexander turned to Rarity.
"Did you clean my armor?" Alexander asked. "It smells better."
"It should also fit better, too."
Alexander blinked. It did. The armor no longer shifted awkwardly when he moved. "Thank you, but how did you know how to do that?"
Rarity smiled demurely. "A lady has to have some secrets."
Alexander rubbed his face, tried to anyways until he remembered he was wearing the rebreather. "Thanks. I should get back to the library." I need to know more about..whatever this place is called.
"It was my pleasure, darling. Come back anytime."
Alexander nodded and waved goodbye, slipping the empty flamer over his shoulder as he left.