Experiment
"Why would we help you?" The unicorn crossed back and forth. "You did take away our freedom to do science, your work has been done. And Then you've come to use with the announcement that, 'Sadly, Equestria is put in jeopardy if we continue our experiments to the conclusion.’ We wondered for a bit how you came to the conclusion, probably some kind of simulation, or perhaps even a kind of dream; you know, anything that actually speaks of your ability to make strong decisions and stick by them.” The glare from Frenzy was every bit as debilitating as anypony could be expected of.
Twilight's stomach sank. “You, are right. I am not that good at decision making yet, but of course, I need time to grow into this. You are lucky that you came around when you did. After all, I had just learned how to properly control my court. Now do me a favor, one that those sons of a bitch nobles never managed to achieve: give me a break. You should be glad that you have the opportunity to do anything of this sort already, let alone on a princess, if I was offered the same thing you are right now, I would have done it without a question. Besides, if I am wrong, this will be carried down to the bottom of Equestria society, revolutionizing everything. Your names will be carried forever, or perhaps with more power behind them than anypony else’.”
This managed to calm the glare a bit.
“What is your plan again?”
“Quite simply, try it out, have a few of me running around for, maybe a week, and see what happens.” Twilight attempted to make it sound casual. That never worked.
“I doubt that it will be that simple, princess. Your qualms about collective identity are, after all, such good points.” he sighed. “It’s even more frustrating because I understand where you are coming from. This could tear us all apart.”
“Perhaps it will, nevertheless, it would be wasteful not to try and find proper use for it. I doubt this will be it. I certainly hope not.”
“We’ll see Princess.”
The machines emitted a pleasing buzz as they worked through her brain, capturing states, vectors, probably a few tensors as well. It was invasive, it was easy to tell that there was something combing through the gnarled mess of neurons in the brain. It touched upon the horn and vanished.
A ‘plonk’ issued from a nearby machine, too indistinct to tell which.
“That seems to have worked well.” Frenzy Idea declared.
“We haven’t begun to test the real effects of it yet.”
“But the machines worked on the far more complicated pony brain, not just any, but yours. That means it should work on virtually anything.”
“I think you overestimate the complexity of an Alicorn’s brain. I’m not quite that smart anyway.”
“You’re probably right, otherwise you would have thought of trying this earlier, you know, before you took us in and told us that we were going to be spending the rest of our days talking to demon summoners.” That stung a bit.
“If you hadn't come to me, then it would not have happened at all, you would be trying it out elsewhere.” Twilight said. “Besides, one with such high security clearance should not be talking to and about royalty so callously.” Frenzy Idea smiled at her threat.
“You are not so powerful yet, besides, don’t try to guile me, I know enough about you to know that you aren’t that kind of pony.”
“Riight... You’ll have your test results in at the least a month.” The princess took the stone from the dispenser with magic and walked out of the cubicle. The ponies inside were less concerned with the potential results of the experiment carried out in this fashion, than the ponies they were probably expected to socialize with until the end of the experiment.
The cubicle was quiet until one of those ponies rushed past chased by a small legion of small red, bipedal demons with party favors.
“That guy actually looks like fun.”
Experiment log 23210:
As it turns out, demons are not pacified by party favors. Guess that this is the last time I end up doing that again.
Experiment log 23211:
Dammit. Project Tartarus Timeshare is unattainable, more reassuringly the wards are being dismantled after I take apart the portal.
“Why would you want to work with this sort of thing?” Twilight exclaimed. The vats around her bubbled and plastic veins pulsed under the unnatural rhythm of a pump, churning unnerving blood substitute.
The pale yellow pony smiled, “It’s all I know. I can hardly recall anything else in life. All that exists is biology. Pony biology is naturally the best. The hexocyclic helixies, the various bases, acids, all of which come together to form what we are.” He paused for a moment. “Mostly because cloning is cool.”
“Finally, that's as good a reason as any.”
“Yeah. Whatever chick.”
Twilight attempted to not give away the fact that this pony was arousing her, it worked quite well. “Stop your pseudo-scientific technobable, I have better things to do than be seduced by a creep whose only work is cloning the living.”
The vats bubbled, cloudy in the effluent and birthing fluid whose clarity was an illusory imitation of harmony.
“Don’t knock me till you try me.” He gestured towards himself using forehoof, wiggling an eyebrow.
“No.”
“Fair enough. Excuse me, your highness, but what was it that you wanted to ask of me?”
“Could you clone me, but in such a way I might turn out to be a Pegasus?”
“I’d actually have to check royal guidelines on that.” The pale, sickly looking earth pony pulled out a large tome entitled “Official Equestrian Policy on Cloning”.
“You know, once I doubted that such a book would ever exist. Unfortunately, it does seem to be the kind of book I would never want to read.”
“Being the Princess whose story captured the nation's mind, the nerdy little book-worm, and-” he looked at her from a different angle, “self-proclaimed, ‘Empress of Books’, that seems a bit surprising.”
“Well sometimes Fanfiction lies.”
“Not surprising. Not at all because you are also often referred to as the Princess of Fanfiction.” She had to resist the urge to either kill him or rape him at the mention of her unofficial, title amongst teenage mares and colts. More or less an ideal of what everypony could become, immortal, powerful, and more or less at peace with themselves.
This pony was too damn hot. But he would never know. Her eyes drifted to his flank, which had a fetus on it. The arousal went away. She struggled not to blanch.
“You know what Princess, it says here that Twilight Sparkle is able to contravene any policy in this book.” He grinned stupidly. “I bet that sounds good.”
“Yeah... “She tried not to puke. “Just do it, and notify me when the product is finished.”
“It already is.”
A vat glowed purple for a moment and discharged a familiar looking filly, without horn.
The filly smiled at her and locked the painfully large eyes upon hers. Twilight knew that this was going to be difficult.
“What? Did you want a fully grown one?” The stallion wiggled his irritatingly large eyebrow seductively. It didn't work.
“Yeah. I can't perform the necessary experiments upon this one. It's too damned cute.”
The eyes began to sparkle at her. “Damn.” she breathed. “That’s what I looked like as a filly. No wonder I wasn’t beaten up.”
“I think that can be arranged-” Twilight glared at Seductive Vat, “The adult clone, not you getting beaten up. Beaten off... maybe”
Twilight grimaced as the filly flew up into the air.
“That one though, is a completely independent entity from you, you should probably take care of it until it's mature enough for it to take care of itself.”
“Is that one of the rules I can ignore?”
“No, that’s in a different rule book, that called Ethical Treatment guidelines for Foals and Animals, as you might guess, it's Fluttershy's domain. You can of course, have her put up for adoption. Discreetly.”
“Please do that.”