Author’s Story Notes
[Slice-of-Life] [Random]
Rated: Everyone
Short Description:
Come and meet some guardsponies from Stonewall Company... and regret it shortly after...
Long Description:
“When there is nothing left to do; you must set yourself on fire.”
Nopony quite knows what possessed Starswirl the Bearded to utter this odd phrase. Some theorise that it was merely a euphemism or a riddle, and means everypony has a purpose; and that if you don’t have purpose you may as well be dead. Others think it has something to do with boredom; that if you are bored you need to put in some effort to mix things up and be ‘not-bored.’
For Private Mercury of the Earth-Pony Shield Regiment and her friends – Privates Brute Force and Steel Block – this phrase always means the latter. Because what else is there for an earth-pony shield-bearer to do in times of peace other than to guard the palace? And guard duty often comes with boredom.
What better way to fight boredom than setting stuff on fire?
Rated Everyone for the lulz
Characters
Earth-Pony Shields Regiment, Stonewall Company
Primarily shield-bearers, their armour is mounted with custom mounts for shields which they use to provide on-the-move cover for other regiments/companies, as well as a charging line. They carry tall heavily fortified shields of steel that mount on either shoulder. The shields are called iron-wings. Their war-cry is ‘hoo-ah.’
Staff Sergeant Buckshot; the cigar chomping, loud-mouthed, hard to beat commander of Stonewall Company. But he’s more of a likeable hardass, not like Hard Candy. CM: a handful of shiny steel ball-bearings framed by a fiery explosion.
Colonel Hard Candy; to say Candy is a hardass barely does her justice. She commands over the whole Earth-Pony Shields Regiment, including Stonewall Company. CM: a piece of candy wrapped in pink foil, i.e. she’s secretly a sweet tooth.
Corporal Iron Gates; bg-pony, has a massive bristly moustache growing beyond grooming standards.
Private Shadow Prancer; bg-pony, despite name dislikes prancing and singing.
The Main Trio
Private Brute Force; Dim witted, sarcastic, and usually he just goes with the flow. He sort of wants to do his job, but he seems to have some issues with discipline and is way too easily distracted. He can’t count. CM: a hooligan tool.
Private Steel Block; tough, brawny and serious. He takes his position in the guard very seriously and often is the voice of reason for his friends. CM: a heavy looking kite-shaped shield.
Private Mercury; like spilled mercury, this mare is quick. Impossible to pin down. But Mercury isn’t just quick on her hooves, but she’s quick with the tongue too. Witty, always has the last word, and she generally acts before thinking things through making her the trouble maker of the group. Her one weakness is her massive crush on Who the human which she refuses to admit to. CM: a broken thermometer leaking mercury.
Unicorn Ranged Infantry Regiment, Archer Company
A company filled with unicorns specialising with crossbows. Their war-cry is ‘allons-y.’
Who; a human in Equestria, his soul got lost on the way to the afterlife. Luna found him and mistook him for a shooting star. When he wouldn’t obey her whim, she grew curious and built him a new physical form, loading his soul back into a fresh body. Who joined the royal guard when he realised ponies could do anything he could do, only better. Dead in his own world he can’t even return home. So he’s stuck in Equestria until the day he dies. In the meantime however, Who might as well do something useful. The Sol Guard realised he’s sometimes more manoeuvrable than an average unicorn, particularly over rough terrain, so after graduating he was assisted in forging a bow, equipment and was put in the ranged infantry regiment. Who gives as good as he gets. A workaholic, he likes to keep busy, but as a result becomes a hermit. He’s formal and likes to do things according to regulation, however he likes to remain adaptable. When the situation becomes dire or throws him a curve-ball he’ll throw rules and regulations into the wind and do whatever it takes to win.
Corporal Crystal Shine; bg-pony, jumpy, easy to scare.
Regiments [Sol Guard]
Earth-Pony Engineering Regiment – Combat logistics mostly. Erecting barricades, field quarters, moving equipment in and out of the field, ensuring ammo and supplies get to where they’re needed, etcetera.
Earth-Pony Shields Regiment – Most of what the shields do is guard key positions. In times of war they are moving barricades. In times of peace they are sentries.
Earth-Pony Mechanised Regiment – Field equipment maintenance and operation mostly. From catapults and ballistas to siege machines and the like.
Pegasus Fast Recon Regiment – Scouts and pathfinders for all ranges and situations.
Pegasus Air Corps – Air superiority fighters.
Pegasus Cavalry – Rapid response air support.
Unicorn Defensive Infantry Regiment – Advanced shield bearers, they can provide short term magical cover with barriers when the shields regiment is spread thin.
Unicorn Offensive Infantry Regiment – Assault infantry, swords to spears and everything in between.
Unicorn Ranged Infantry Regiment – Archers, mostly they’ll use crossbows. Some companies use high explosive magical blasts as mid-range artillery.
Royal Guard Rank Structure
Regular [must pass corporal before entering NCO stage]
Cadet -> Private -> Corporal
NCO [CO course/assessment may be undertaken at any NCO rank]
Sergeant -> Staff Sergeant -> Gunnery Sergeant -> Sergeant Major
CO
Lieutenant -> Commander -> Lieutenant Colonel -> Colonel -> Captain -> Captain of the Guard
Unused Material
Buckshot [singing] “Let's get down to business, to protect the herd!”
Brute Force “But I don’t think I’m ready.”
Buckshot “Shut up... you neeeerd.” “You’re a sad bunch of, degenerates; but you can bet before were through... somehow I'll, make a stallion, out of you!!!!”
The Breacher; Royal blacksmith and armourer, Clockwork invents a ‘breacher.’ It’s a buckshot cannon used to blow down doors and barricades. Clockwork leaves it with Brute Force, Mercury and Steel Block to demonstrate the invention to the brass, but the trio decide to have some fun with it first.
Show and Tell; Tiny Trinket gives Cherilee’s class a presentation for show and tell. She shows a picture of Steel Block, a tenant living with her mom and her. She talks about how Steel helps around the house, cheers up her mom when she’s sad, helps Trinket with her homework and fights the monsters in the closet. He may not be her father, but he’s family.