"Are you kidding me?" Twilight trotted over to a position beside me, looking over my shoulder at the book. It was the one from hearts and hooves day, the one the Cutie Mark Crusaders had used to create a powerful (and rather disgusting) feeling of love between Big Mac and Ms. Cheerilie.
The fact was, the information in this book had nearly torn the town apart, and Twilight had been stuck at the middle of it. She had originally given the book to the girls, and had been blamed as such. I'm sure all she wanted to do was tuck the book away forever, but it was our only clue to Spike's transformation.
"Look, Twilight," I opened the book to the table of contents, "I won't let things get out of hoof. I promise."
"Pinkie promise?"
I sighed, "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
"Good! Now, let's see... go to the section about magic."
"I didn't use magic," I explained, exasperated, "I..."
"Rarity..." Twilight's voice was stern.
"I..." my voice squeaked a bit.
"Rarity, tell me."
"I kissed him!" I dropped the book, closing both eyes tightly. I opened one, however, at the shocked sound I heard from Spike. He was staring at me, with something between horror and exuberance written all over his face.
"Give me that book," I mumbled, pulling it away from Twilight and opening to a page on a unicorn named--
"Love Charmer?"
Twilight laughed, "Wow, obvious much?"
I cleared my throat, "It says here that over five hundred years ago, there was a pony who was in sorrow over the loss of her lover. She tried to save his life at the last minute, by giving him the kiss of true love. It turns out that love held some kind of magic, and filled the stallion with renewed strength and youth. After about an hour, however, the earth pony grew wings, followed by a unicorn horn a day later. He was executed by an extremist group who believed he wanted to take over the throne.
"But! After a week of being guarded twenty-four seven, the grave was found empty, and the guards had disappeared. It is unknown what the results of these occurrences were, as the records end here."
"That's... ominous," Twilight stated.
"Is that gonna happen to me?" Spike stood, coming over to the book. I shut it quickly.
"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous."
"So... what they're saying is that the power of Eros is the same as the power of Phileo?"
"English, please?"
"That the magic of Love is the same as the magic of Friendship! Oh, this is a-mazing! I am going to learn so much from this!"
"Twilight! He is not a science experiment!" I pulled Spike near me, "He's just the same as before. Nothing's changed."
"Rarity, I think you're vision must be blurred. HE GREW BUCKING WINGS!"
"STOP!" Spike's claws were covering his ears, "Just stop it, both of you! I'm leaving!"
"Spike, no!" I ran after him, Twilight following close behind, as he ran down the streets. For some reason, they were eerily quiet. It's a good thing, too, since otherwise the town would have spiraled into a panic.
"HALT!" We screeched to a stop, at the sound of a familiarly tiny voice. Just over the hill in the road stood four ponies: all wearing fake armor and holding fake swords.
The three in the front were tiny, and tufts of red, purple, and lavender manes poked out from under bucket helmets. The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The one in the back was a mare I would have recognized anywhere: an earth pony, with a dusty pink coat and a shockingly magenta mane. She was wearing a black sweater and a black ski mask, with some kind of night-vision goggles strapped to her forehead. She, miraculously, stood on her hind legs, with her front hooves folded in a disapproving pose.
Pinkie Pie.