//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: In Her Nature // Story: Banished // by Sixpence //------------------------------// Chrysalis was not having a good day. The last few days had gotten progressively worse, and Walker’s harness was chafing worse than it ever had. After she had taken hold of his mind, everything had been going downhill. She had expected that he would be radiating love for her. Instead he had been giving her nothing, not even the friendship that they had shared was there to feed her ever growing hunger. It was as if what she held was nothing more than an empty shell. In fact, the entire ordeal with establishing the bond and link had been strange. When she started the process, his mind had been resisting. It had withstood her intrusion, even after she reinforced the changeling bloods influence with some of her own. As with all her previous... victims, he had passed out as she began. But nothing happened when she tried to sink her mind into his. It was much like hammering at a wall made of diamonds. She could see the vague shape of his mind through it, but there was nothing but a dim haze. Even biting him had felt wrong. Like she was doing something bad, as if the act was something she would regret. She had dismissed the thought and drank greedily. The small amount she had gained from the branch had done little to nothing for her, but she could feel her body getting to work with more success on the larger amount. She then widened the wound slightly with her fangs, splitting the skin in a thin, but deep line. It did not bleed much more than it had before, but it would be enough. With a decisive bite, she pierced her own skin where the carapace was thin and held it over the wound, letting her own blood mix with his. Yet nothing had changed. His mind was impenetrable, and his body resisted the blood just as much as it had that of the drone. The only change was a slight darkening of his nails. Chrysalis had been about to give up, mentally ‘glaring’ at the metaphorical wall of his mind when something strange happened. A pair of yellow, serpentine eyes materialized on the other side of the wall, clear even in the haze. They winked, and then the wall fell. When she got past the shock and confusion, she returned to her work and sunk back into Walker’s mind. Only to find it bare, it was as if there was nothing there but a shell. He was still breathing, so there was something left, but otherwise... nothing. She sunk her metaphorical hooks into him nonetheless, and when his eyes had opened he seemed perfectly normal. Normal for someone under her influence anyhow, his eyes had a slightly greenish tinge to them, and he looked at her with an empty gaze. Yet it was... eerie. When she had taken Shining Armor, there had been something there, a spark in his eyes. Here there was nothing. As if Walker’s very soul was... gone. --- I awoke on my feet, which was strange in itself. For some reason I could not control my body, it was as if I was a passenger within my own mind, hammering at the door to the cockpit. I was walking forward with a familiar weight on my back, and I could barely see the dark fuzzy outline of Chrysalis’ head on my shoulder. I wanted to turn and look at her, but I couldn’t move my eyes. All I could see was that she looked pale, but without being able to turn my head it was impossible to tell if that was a trick of the light or not. The terrain around us was a frozen grey wasteland, telling me that we were at least a few days further east than we had been from... My memory felt hazy, and I had trouble recalling what had happened prior to my apparent blackout. We were high up in a mountain range that I had barely been able to see on the horizon back ‘home’. I had considered trekking here before, but it never felt right. In fact, before Chrysalis had fallen out of the sky my life had felt like it was on hold, as if I had been waiting for her arrival. The light shining through the clouds told me that it was approaching twilight, and the already cold air was beginning to freeze. Yet I couldn’t do anything. We walked through the night, at times wading through hip-deep snow. My body did not react to the cold, even though I could feel the muscles in my legs tightening in the freezing temperatures. I could feel the wear and tear, something I hadn’t felt in a very long time, but still my body pressed on. I had no idea what Chrysalis’ state was, but I could feel a steady breath in the nape of my neck where her head rested. The dawn brought little warmth, but even the weak rays of the morning sun felt wonderful on my body. I felt Chrysalis head stir as she lifted it off. “Stop in the clearing.” She said weakly. Her voice was raspy, and I could feel her muscles quake beneath her skin at the mere effort of lifting her head. “Yes mistress.” My voice said, surprising me greatly. Not far away was a small patch of brown grass where the wind had blown the snow away and the sun’s rays provided meagre warmth. I - well, my body, gently lifted Chrysalis out of the harness and set her down on the somewhat warm ground. I would have cried out at the state of her if I could. Her body was wilted and weak, her limbs like dry twigs. Her carapace looked dull and grayish, as if she had aged years since I last saw her. The once lustrous green of her hair had faded, and it lay limp against her head. The sun shone through the skies, illuminating the small patch of dead grass, and I felt warmth wash over me. Chrysalis eyes cracked open and she looked up towards the sun with a crooked smile. I wanted to pound on the ‘door’ to my mind, but there was nothing there. I wanted to reach out to her, but I couldn’t. ‘You’ll have to choose...’ The words appeared in my mind as if from nowhere. It wasn’t my own voice, but it was familiar. I couldn’t remember where I had heard the voice before, but snippets of a conversation appeared in my mind. ‘Allow her in. Or die’ ‘I am sorry, but she speaks the truth.’ “Fine.” I thought. “And now what?” I don’t know if I expected an answer or not, but nothing came to mind. I tried harder to find some barrier to push against, something that I would have to break through to gain control of my mind once more. There was nothing, no definite thing that felt like it was resisting, I just had no way to influence my self. I stopped trying to find hidden barriers and settled down to think. A vague memory surfaced once more, ‘Let her in.’ Maybe it wasn’t I that had to do anything, perhaps all I had to do was to open my mind, allow whatever was going on to happen. I tried to relax. I imagined myself sitting inside a walled off room, brick walls on all sides, stopping anyone or anything from peering inside. One by one I imagined the walls crumbling away into nothingness, exposing myself to whatever lay outside. For a few moments nothing happened, then, like a gate being opened, sensations flooded in. They threatened to overwhelm me, feelings of longing, loss, friendship and... love. But it felt wrong, as if they were foreign feelings overwriting my own. The friendship was already present, but the rest felt artificial. I had no choice but to accept, somehow knowing that resisting now would not end well. I felt my body going limp, and I collapsed onto the wet grass with a thump. It felt as if my entire body was punishing me, every muscle and tendon clenching in a terrible cramp. Tears came to my eyes and I cried out in pain. Chrysalis head shot up from the ground where she was resting. “Walker?” Her voice sounded hesitant. “Walker, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t answer, my entire body was screaming in pain. From a little bit off to the side I heard Chrysalis get on her hooves with a grunt. If I had opened my eyes I would have seen her wobble awkwardly towards me. Another emotion was growing in my mind, another one to add to the list of feelings that were not my own; Hope. A hard hoof poked me in the side and I managed to crack one eye open and look up at the bedraggled bug-pony standing over me. “What’s going on?” She asked, it didn’t feel as if the question was directed at me. It was as if she had tried to talk to me before, and never gotten any real answers. “Urgh...” I groaned. “My... everything... hurts...” “What?” Chrysalis sounded surprised at my words. “What did you say?” I glared up at her as menacingly as I could. “Hello... to... you.. too...” It came out as a sarcastic snarl. Chrysalis looked even more confused, but I could feel the hope growing. She bent down and placed her horn against my forehead. I felt a brief surge of... something. When she removed her head she was staring at me wide-eyed. “Y... you’re back...” Her face lit up in a happy grin. “You’re back!” She then proceeded to throw herself at me in a full-body hug. I screamed. --- “I’m so sorry...” Chrysalis said and hung her head low. The worst of the cramps had passed, but I still felt more sore than I had ever before. “I had no idea this would happen.” I groaned and pushed myself to a sitting position. “What... That what would happen?” I said weakly and looked into her eyes. She still looked, broken, but her skin was starting to return to it’s old luster, and her hair looked less like wilted grass. “When I...” She stopped and looked down. “I don’t know what came over me. I should never have done what I did.” “What did you do?” I asked and crawled over to her. I felt the need to comfort her, to hold her and say that it was going to be fine, that I forgave whatever she did. But it felt wrong. I took her in my arms and held her head close to my chest, but I kept my mouth closed. I could feel my chest becoming damp, and sadness was flooding my mind. “I... I tried to control you.” She said and crumpled against my chest. “I tried to subdue your mind. To take more from you than you gave freely.” My grip on her tightened, anger and betrayal washed over me and I could feel Chrysalis wince as if I had struck her. The sight of her like that calmed me slightly, but I still felt betrayed. “Why...” I said with a low voice. “Why would you do that?” Chrysalis stayed silent for only a moment before she answered. “I don’t know...” The words came out in a whisper. “It just felt like I had to. That I had to try. Ever since you saved me, I’ve felt... I don’t know...” I winced. If my theory was correct, I was feeling her emotions, and she could feel mine. It wasn’t precise, but I could discern what she felt almost like a scent. And what she felt towards me was love. Somehow she had fallen for me. I couldn’t help but snicker a bit at the literal implications of that. My soft laugh made her look up at me, and I couldn’t help but smile. “It’s fine.”I said and put a hand on her head. “I think I know what it is.” “Then tell me!” She said with a scowl. “Because I don’t have the slightest.” I smiled a bit sadly and got to my feet, letting her slide off me and get to her own. “What you’re feeling is love, Chrysalis.” She stood on her own three hooves and looked up at me with a dumbfounded expression. “What?” She said flatly. “You know, the butterflies in your stomach.” I saw her disgusted look and quickly added “That’s a metaphor” and rolled my eyes. “That’s impossible.” She stated before plopping her plot down on the grass. “It makes no sense.” Her eyes flicked to me and she grimaced. “What do you mean, impossible?” I was getting curious, again. “Changelings do not feel love.” She stated with a tone that brokered no argument. This confused me greatly. “Okay? Then, how does your societies survive? How do you procreate if you don’t love anyone?” I must have grown a third nipple, on my forehead, because she looked at me as if I was the stupidest thing that had ever walked the face of this planet. She rolled her eyes and pointed at my crotch. “You take that,” she lifted her butt slightly off the grass and pointed at it, “and put it in there. You repeat the process, enjoyment and fun is had for all, and then foals are made.” I blushed and facepalmed. “Right... got it... That is not, however, what I meant.” Chrysalis giggled and rolled her eyes. At least she had been broken out of her funk for the moment. “Yes. But what I meant...” She sighed and looked up at me. “Is that changelings do not feel love like ponies do. We consume it.” “You what?” I said, astounded. How in the world did that work? Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I thought we had been over this? Changelings feed on emotions. I told you this days ago.” “No?” I was a bit creeped out, but somehow it made sense. Neither she nor I had eaten anything since we set out on this quest towards god knows where, and I hadn’t even thought to question it. “No, you didn’t. How does that even work?” She shrugged. “Magic.” “Magic?” She nodded. “Magic.” “You can’t just say ‘magic’!” I said and threw my hands in the air. “That’s like the stupidest explanation in the history of stupid explanations.” She lifted an eyebrow and regarded me with curiosity. “Very well then. Here’s what I know;” Chrysalis took a deep breath as if preparing a lengthy speech, “It’s magic. I have no idea how it works, it just does.” “Gah!” I exclaimed and dragged a hand over my face. “Fine! Whatever. You feed on emotions, fine. That’s great!” She grinned. “Yes, it is. Your frustration is delicious by the way.” I scowled at her and sighed deeply. “Asshat.” Her grin prevailed, then a thought seemed to hit her and she frowned. “How did you know what I was feeling?” “How should I know? Ever since I ‘woke up’ and regained control of myself I’ve been feeling all these things that doesn’t feel like they’re my feelings.” I explained and sat down on the now somewhat dry grass. My pants were ruined anyway, so it didn’t matter that I was getting them wet. “And there’s nobody else around that I know of, so they must come from you. At least I think they do.” I scratched my head. “If not I’m going crazy. Which is not impossible.” This seemed to confuse her. “But that’s impossible. You shouldn’t be able to sense that, not if you didn’t before.” She frowned deeper. “Could it be?” “Could it be what?” I asked. Chrysalis flushed and looked away, cheeks red. “When I tried to gain control... I bit you and absorbed some of your blood. I also mixed some of mine with yours. It should only have strengthened my influence, but nothing happened.” She looked up at me with a thoughtful expression. “It could be a delayed reaction.” “You... drank my blood?” I cringed, but remembered that she had told me about the whole blood deal after I had caught her licking some of the branch that had impaled me. “You know, you could just have asked. Instead of betraying my trust like that.” She winced, and I could feel her regret. “I don’t know entirely why I did it. Doing it felt wrong, and then...” She shrank a bit. “And then you disappeared. I couldn’t gain control over you, but all of a sudden all the resistance was gone.” I felt... I didn’t quite know what I felt. It wasn’t exactly a regular occurrence that a friend of mine tried to mind-control me for her own gain. A story I had once heard came to mind, I couldn’t place it. “I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did, but I can feel that you regret it.” I said calmly and walked over to her, picking up the staff that lay at the edge of the clearing. “It’s like the scorpion and the tortoise.” “Huh? What does that have to do with anything?” She asked, thoroughly befuddled. “It’s a story I once heard.” I said while preparing the harness. “It goes something like this; A scorpion sat at the edge of a stream wondering how he would get across to the other side. He could not swim, and it was too deep to wade over. A tortoise walked over to the edge of the stream and prepared himself to swim. ‘Wait!’ yelled the scorpion and approached the tortoise. ‘I must get to the other side, and I cannot swim’ he said. The tortoise slowly turned to the scorpion and frowned. ‘I could, but you are a scorpion and would sting me, and I would drown.’ ‘Why would I sting you? I would drown as well.’ The scorpion said. ‘Very well, that does make sense. Climb on top of my shell, and I will swim you to the other bank.’ The scorpion did, and soon they were in the middle of the stream. Suddenly the tortoise felt a sting on his neck, and his vision began to darken. ‘Why did you sting me?’ he asked. ‘Now we will both drown.’ ‘It is in my nature.’” I finished my story as Chrysalis climbed into the harness, and I hefted her onto my back. “It was only in your nature.” Chrysalis had gone silent, but I could almost hear the gears turning in her mind. “Are you afraid that I will sting you again?” She muttered and placed her head back on its normal resting spot on my shoulder. I raised an eyebrow and looked over at her. “Will you?” She sighed and looked out over the snow-filled landscape. “I don’t know.” I shrugged the straps into a more comfortable position and began walking. “Then don’t.” “I’ll try.” Chrysalis suddenly grinned. “No promises though.” “If you want to walk the rest of the way, that’s fine with me.” I grumbled and stepped out onto the snow. It was cold, and my feet were bare, but I could bear it. She giggled and nuzzled my neck. “Not at all. Now, talk to me about this love I supposedly have for you.” I could feel expectation and curiosity radiating from her when she was this close, it felt utterly bizarre. “I don’t know what to tell you. I think it’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own.” I said and tried to plot a course that would take us out of the mountains and into the warmth of the forest stretching out from the mountain’s foot and into the horizon. “It is strange.” She said. “I have taken love from so many, and yet I have no idea what it’s like to feel it myself.” Something seemed to occur to her. “You don’t love me, do you?” For some reason I couldn’t answer right away. Maybe it was the strange mix of emotions coming from her, love, but there was no sadness, no expectation. “No. You’re my friend, that’s as far as it goes.” To my surprise she laughed. She breathed into my ear sensually and I shivered. “We’ll have to do something about that.” I frowned. “Don’t.” “Oh, and why not?” She was still grinning. “Am I not pretty enough for you?” “You’re not even my species!” I rubbed my temple with a hand, and shivered again as I felt Chrysalis rub her muzzle against it affectionately. “I could do something about that.” She said with a smirk. ---