“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” Trixie asked Blueblood as the group traveled through the woods.
“I think so,” said the Prince. “We entered the Everfree Forest, and now the map says ‘Into the forest, take good care, just follow the path that has the white hair’.”
“White hair? How can a path have hair?”
“I have absolutely no idea! These instructions are all written in rhymes and riddles.”
“Wonderful,” Trixie groaned.
Meanwhile, further back, Gilda and Lightning Dust were taking to each other about their lives.
“So that bitch got me kicked out of the academy,” said Lightning Dust. “And all because she was just jealous that I was better than her.”
“Yep, that’s just like her,” said Gilda. “I can’t believe I used to be friends with that little lame-o.”
“So you hate Rainbow Dash too, huh?” asked Lightning Dust.
“Oh yeah!” said Gilda. “And her lame-o new friends too.”
“You know what?” said Lightning Dust. “I think we should be friends.”
“Best friends!” said Gilda, wrapping an arm around the Pegasus’s shoulders.
Further towards the back, Flam spoke up. “You know everypony, I think we should do something to pass the time while we walk.”
“I know! Lets all sing a song,” said Flim.
“Great idea, brother,” said Flam in agreement.
“NO!” everyone else shouted, taking Flim and Flam by surprise.
“I hate musicals!” said Gilda. “I just can’t stand them! They’re pointless and annoying.”
Flim and Flam glared back at her. “Is there anything you DO like?” Flim asked.
“Yeah. Beating up annoying ponies who get on my nerves.” Gilda glared back at him.
Flim and Flam took the hint and looked down at the ground in disappointment.
After a few more minutes of walking, Lightning Dust suddenly flapped her wings and flew up into the air above the group. “Hey, look! There’s a path right up ahead!” She pointed through the trees where a dirt trail could be made out.
“Come on,” Blueblood urged, motioning with his hoof for all of them to head for it.
They all trotted over towards where Lightning Dust had been pointing. Sure enough, they all soon saw the trail through the trees and headed over to it.
Just as they reached the dirt path, a little white rabbit suddenly jumped out from a pair of nearby bushes along the side of the trail right in front of them. They stopped in front of it.
The white rabbit glared up at them with its beady dark eyes.
“Hey, its a cute little bunny,” said Hoops. “Let’s kill it.”
“Okay,” said Dumbbell.
The bunny raised its paw and pointed at them. “You can try it, assholes!” it said.
The twelve adventurers’ eyes widened in shock at what they had just seen.
“Did that bunny just speak?” said Jet Set.
“That bunny just spoke,” said Dumbbell.
“And that voice sounds really familiar,” said Score, scratching his head with his hoof thoughtfully.
“None of you are going any further,” continued the bunny. “I am one of the guardians of the Goblet of Life.”
“Guardians?” asked Flim.
“Yes. There are several of us, dedicated to keeping the Goblet from falling into the hooves of all those unworthy.”
“Wait a minute!” Blueblood looked at the map again. “The path with the white hair? Err, it didn’t mean hair like on your body. It meant hare like the animal. Sweet Celestia, Starswirl the Bearded couldn’t spell worth jack-shit apparently.”
“Silence!” shouted the bunny. “None of you are worthy to poses the goblet.”
“Hey, we’re worthy!” spat Lightning Dust angrily.
“Yes, would somepony unworthy look as handsome as me?” asked Blueblood, striking a pose.
“Or be as great and powerful as Trixie!” stated Trixie, also striking a pose.
“Turn around and go home!” said the bunny. “This is your last warning.”
“Excuse me, but who do you think you are that you can order a Prince of Equestria around?” demanded Blueblood.
“I am a demon overlord of the underworld,” said the bunny. “They call me… Angel.”
The twelve adventurers burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” demanded Angel.
“Angel?” snickered Blueblood. “Your name is Angel?”
“Yes,” said Angel. “It’s a proud name. One that deserves honor and respect.”
“Maybe if you live in a pet shop,” taunted Dumbbell.
“Hey! You can’t talk to a demon overlord that way! I demand respect!” Angel shouted angrily.
“Whatever. Gilda, go eat it,” said Blueblood.
“Glad to,” Gilda said with a grin. “I could use a little snack.” Gilda moved towards the bunny, claws unsheathed.
The bunny suddenly leaped into the air at Gilda, spinning around like a certain blue hedgehog, and kicked the griffon right in her chest. Gilda was sent flying backwards hard into a tree.
“Ow,” the injured griffon groaned as she fell to the ground with a thud.
The bunny landed on its hind legs on the ground, looking at the others, who all had looks of utter shock on their faces as they stared back and forth between Gilda’s injured body and the little white rabbit.
“Who else wants some?” said Angel.
“ATTACK!” Blueblood shouted, pointing at the rabbit. The rest of the gang all charged forward at the bunny.
Angel shook his head and then leaped into the air, kicking Blueblood square in the face. He then ricocheted off of Blueblood and kicked Flam in right the face. The two unicorns were knocked to the ground, holding their faces in pain.
Angel then bounced off the ground and ricocheted off Lightning Dust, Trixie, and Hoop’s heads, knocking all three of them to the ground, before landing right on Jet Set’s face.
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Jet Set screamed as the white fur ball scratched at his face. “IT’S EATING MY FACE! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”
There was a thud as Upper Crust fainted.
“I’ll get it,” shouted Dumbbell, getting ready to buck the rabbit off of Jet Set. However, just as Dumbbell was about to kick, Angel leaped off of Jet Set’s face and onto Dumbbell’s head, causing Dumbbell to accidentally buck the snobbish unicorn right in the face, sending him flying.
Angel bit and yanked at Dumbbell’s mane and ears while the brown Pegasus shouted and jumped and kicked around, trying to get the rabbit off.
Angel managed to hold on and then proceeded to cover up Dumbbell’s eyes with his paws.
“Hey! Stop that, you stupid rodent!” Dumbbell shouted. “I can’t see!” The Pegasus continued to jump around in a panic as the rabbit kept digging its teeth into his ears. Angel then jumped off just before Dumbbell ran headfirst into a tree, knocking him out.
Angel bounced off of Flim and Score’s heads, knocking them both to the ground, before he landed on the ground right in front of Iron Will. Angel looked up at the big minotaur as he stared back down at him.
“Iron Will is gonna pound you into the ground,” Iron Will snarled, cracking his knuckles.
Angel then leaped up and kicked the minotaur right in his groin.
Iron Will fell to the ground, holding his crotch in pain. “Ow! That’s fighting fowl!” he groaned.
Blueblood, Flam, and Trixie were the first to get to their hooves and ran behind a nearby tree, watching helplessly as the rest of their team continued to face the demon bunny’s wrath.
“I can’t believe this! We’re being defeated by a stupid little rodent!” said Blueblood. He then looked down at his body. “And I’ve gotten dirt on my beautiful white coat!” He quickly began trying to brush himself off.
“That thing moves like Sonic the Hedgehog!” exclaimed Flam as he stared at the little white menace leaping around. “How in Equestria are we going to beat it?”
“I think I have an idea!” said Trixie thoughtfully. She walked out from behind the tree and over to the rabbit.
Angel landed on the ground and watched curiously as the blue unicorn mare approached him.
Trixie stopped in front of the white bunny and her horn began to glow with violet aura. Then it suddenly flashed bright white light at the rabbit.
When the bright light faded, Angel stood still for a few seconds, dazed, and then began screaming. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NO! MAKE IT STOP! OH, PLEASE, CELESTIA, MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!” The rabbit fell into the fetal position, continuing to scream.
Everyone stared at the distraught rabbit.
“My, gosh, Trixie! What did you do to it?” asked Flam.
“I’ve forced it to watch Rebecca Black’s Friday music video over and over again inside its head,” said Trixie.
Everyone gasped in shock.
“Trixie, that’s the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life!” said Gilda. “I like your style, girl.”
The others all smiled and nodded in agreement.
“Yeah! That’s some sweet magic you got there!” said Hoops.
Trixie smiled. It was nice to get some complements for a change.
“Oh my gosh! Upper Crust!” Jet Set said suddenly.
Jet Set went over to his wife, who was still lying unconscious on the ground where she had fainted, and began waking her up.
“Dear, are you all right?” he spoke as he nudged her with his fore hooves.
Upper Crust gradually began to stir. “Oh… what happened?” she asked as she came to.
“How nice of you to finally join us, Miss Priss,” said Lightning Dust in annoyance, rubbing one of her bruises on her head with her hoof. “Too bad you missed all the action.”
Upper Crust glared at her. “Excuse me? I didn’t know there was going to be FIGHTING on this trip!” she complained. “I thought we would just follow the map to the goblet and all become rich. I’m a lady! And ladies don’t do that ruffian stuff!”
“Oh, for crying out loud!” said Gilda angrily. “You’re making me want to beat you up!”
“Hey!” Jet Set shouted, stepping forward. “You can’t talk to my wife like that!”
“I’ll talk to whoever I want, however I want!” Gilda shot back.
“HEY! HEY! HEY!” Blueblood said, stepping between the Griffon and the couple. “Cut that out! We’re not going to find the goblet by arguing, and I really want to find that goblet because I really want that money. So lets just focus on finding it right now, and when all this is over, we can all go our separate ways and none of us ever have to see each other again if we don’t want to.”
“The sooner the better!” grumbled Gilda.
“Amen!” huffed Upper Crust, sticking up her nose.
“Alright then. Let’s keep moving!” Blueblood said.
The group headed off down the path in the same direction they had been going, leaving the still screaming rabbit where he was lying.
“I just know I’ve heard that bunny’s voice somewhere before,” Score said as they walked. “Darn it, this is going to bug me until I figure it out.”