//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: I can be social. Probably. Maybe // by Heavensguard //------------------------------// I can be social. Probably. Maybe. ---- Sleep is bliss. It is the natural way to get rest for the body. It is a time that one usually leaves all that is the world and embraces that of their subconscious. It is amusing that as a child, I hated to sleep. It was something that cut into the time of enjoyment. What a fool I was. I can now truly appreciate the gift that is sleep. "Ned! Wake Up!" Welp. Appreciation's over. "What... I'm sleepy" I groggily say, "Spike needs his sleep too." the dragon on my stomach chimes. "Come on! Today's the day!" Twilight shouts. "Today is a day like any other day. I still like sleeping." I retort. "Fine! I'll make you get up!" Before I knew it, Spike and I were lifted into the air and then dropped unceremoniously in a heap. Effective way to get someone up. Reduces actual physical effort to rouse the victim. I'll have to return the favor someday, Twilight. "Thank you, Twi. I needed to be dropped like a sack of apples."I muttered. Spike groaned alongside me. "You're welcome, now let's get going, we a lot to do before the Grand Galloping Gala." She says as she trots down to the main room. Spike and I give one last lingering glance at our bed, (And I realize that as I write this, it sounds completely wrong) before following the strict unicorn. We find Twilight levitating a saddle sack onto herself. Spike climbs on to Twilight and I grab my black hoodie (Rarity has made several of them for me) and join them. "Alright, lets get our tasks done and learn something!" Twilight cheers. "Woooo..." Spike and I chorus. Wearily. ---- First few things on Twilight's list involved helping Cheerilee set up a stage for their talent show. Smokestack and I did most of the work with some help from various ponies (I think Caramel, Berry Punch, and Lucky Clover were among them). Afterwards, Smokestack had told me that there was a big order that he needed me to help him with. After slight arguing with Twilight, I managed to get out of her plans and help Smokes. The order was primarily support braces which I learned are for the Apple Family's new barn. So lots of quality and work. Not like I didn't do good work, mind you. Big McIntosh came in to check up on our progress and Smokes persuaded the hick pony to help out. Not like we needed it though, for I managed to finish up the necessary braces fairly quickly. I then extended my services into installation. This led me to help out construct the barn. Smokestack didn't come along as he got another order to deal with. This led to a development I didn't learn until now. Smokestack has a daughter, Chimney Sweep. She was about near Applejack's size, dark gray skin, black mane, and a..well..chimney sweep cutie mark. The two of us helped out McIntosh and Applejack build up the new barn. It took slightly longer than I had planned mainly because my ever adorable follower, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, came to help. It was disastrous to say the least. Well, at least it was all fixable. Eventually the barn was finished (And in dire need of a paint job), and Chimney and I had to leave. We went separate ways as I needed to do something to cool off from such a busy day. ---- My breath is deep and slow. My arms are strong and locked. My feet are spread and dug-in. The arrow is notched. The string is taut. Breathe in Breathe out Release Zanshin Visualize the target in the mind. Manifest the image of the mind into reality. Put forth your spirit into arrow release. Make your dream into reality. *Thud* The arrow hits center. Like many times before, I have successfully managed to flow through the steps of kyudo. A hard process, but once I got the mentality down, it became natural. I wonder how that person would feel about this. Probably tell me that I was lacking somewhere. Once more I took stance and drew my arrow. There are several stages or steps to kyudo. Each one important. Ashibumi - Footing Dozukuri - Posture Yugamae - Readying the bow Uchiokoshi - Raising of the bow Hikiwake - Drawing of the bow Ka-"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" I immediately ease the tension of the of the string. I was surprised, but at least I got the swiftness to unnotch my bow. I turn to see Twilight and Spike coming out from the forest (Which reminds me, that manticore has yet to come after me...). Twilight has this expression on her face that displays her disappointment. Looks like I might get a scolding. "Ned! Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?" "No, but I can assume that it was longer than you wanted it to be." "Yes! After building the stage for the talent show, we had to help Fluttershy and her animals, the Cakes at Sugarcube corner make cakes, and Rainbow get some frogs out of some ponies' yards. We could have used your help then." "Well, I helped Smokes build braces for Applejacks new barn, then I helped her build up the new barn." "Well, that could explain why Applejack didn't need our help earlier... But still, I still needed you for the others." "You seem like you had it well in control. Making the braces was a rush job, so I sorta needed to cool down." "This is how you cool down?" "Yes, like I told Jack. This is something I like to do." "Come on Ned. We got to get ready for the gala." I see a shimmer about myself and I knew that arguing would do nothing now. So I allow myself to be levitated, not like I could do anything about it anyway. I probably never mentioned it, but the bow I made is primarily similar to one that anyone would find used by Native Americans. I would consider making a yumi, but I wasn't familiar in making bows... Books. Read them. ---- "Pinkie! Ned! Get off the trampoline!" Rarity shouts. I'm currently wondering where Pinkie got a trampoline, but decided to accept the walking oddity that is Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was doing flips while I attempted to only to curve into a faceplant. Good time fun. Faceplant. I hate trampolines now. Faceplant. Really do. Faceplant. FLIP DAMN YOU. Belly Flop. Thats slightly better. "Pinkie, how are you doing flips...?" I ask "Well, silly Neddy. You tuck and roll in the air! Silly." She says as she does exactly that. Dammit. "You two must cease that jumping. I don't want you to sweat in your clothes." Rarity says. Oh right, there was something I was curious. "Why did you have a trampoline, Pinkie?" I ask as I bounce once again. Pinkie flips over me. "To...show...how...EXCITED...I...am!" She answers. "Dears please!" Rarity chides us. She grabs us mid-bounce with her magic and settles us on the ground. There was Twilight settling before a book, trying to learn a new spell. Spike was munching down on some apples (probably from my stash, again), and Rarity is trying to get Pinkie and I to stop doing strenuous things (More like Pinkie though). Soon enough, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy joined us. "Spike, place those apples here." Twilight says as she points Spike towards an open space. Spike does so and quickly dashes away. Twilight's horn begins to glow and before we knew it, she blasted the apple into an actual apple-themed carriage. Four greatly exaggerated wheels of white, a drivers seat in the front, and elaborated white windowed doors to the inside. "...I get a feeling this is similar to a princess' story..." I whisper to myself. "Okay! Fluttershy, did you bring them?" Twilight asks. "Ah, yes. Now will they be safe?" Flutters asks. Fluttershy then reveals two mice that skitter over near the apple carriage. "You have my word, Fluttershy." Twilight says as she prepares her spell. Once more, the purple unicorn's horn glows before a beam shot out and enveloped the mice. Their forms obscured by magic, only their silhouettes remained. Slowly, but surely, they grew larger and formed into something equine in nature. "Large white mouse horses with whiskers... That's just odd." My opinion was echoed by the others. Well, it turns out that Rarity brought along her cat. Thinking about it, I should have expected what happened next. Despite being giants and much more menacing than before, these horses were still mice. Opalescence is a cat. Cue giant mice horses running like the wind. It was pretty funny. "Oh dear." Flutters says. "Wait! Come Back! Those horses are suppose to pull our carriage to the gala..." Twilight bemoans. "Oh whatever shall we do?" Rarity moans out. I take a gander about and notice a few stallions. More importantly, stallions that owe me big. "Hey Caramel! Clover! (He shouts back, "CALL ME LUCKY!") Come over here." I call out to the two stallions. They trot over with curiosity (Agitation on Clover's behalf). "What's up Neddit?" Caramel asks. Neddit? How many times are these ponies going to use nicknames I've already gathered... Nevermind. "You guys wouldn't mind helping our lovely mares by pulling their carriage would you?" I offer as I present Twilight and the rest. Rarity seemed to catch on and proceeded to play her part. She was doing what I assumed was charming the two stallions. Crossing her front hooves and bowing her head seemed to do the work, though the hair flip and eye flutters were a bit overkill. "Won't you boys~ help us out~?" She purrs. Rarity, that's just unnecessary. The two stallions' heads nodded so fast, I had honestly feared for their necks. "Well, that settles that. I'm going to go change." I say. "Same here." Spike chimes as he follows. "Ah, We shall be right back." Rarity adds. Wait... "Rarity, you're not going to help. That's final." I scold the marshmallow. "Nonsense, there are some attachments I would like to see on your suit." She counters. "You can hand them to me and I'll see if they work with the suit." I offer. Please take it Rarity. "Oh, but darling, you wouldn't know where they're suppose to go." She rebukes. Dammit. "Hey Rarity, what are you and Ned arguing about?" No. Pinkie stay out of it. "Ned is being stubborn, he just doesn't want me to help him with his suit" Rarity explains. "I'm perfectly fine with the suit, I can put it on just fine. Rarity" "Oh, but my accessories can make it even better!" "Oh silly Neddy! You should just let Rarity do it! I'll help you Rarity!" No no no no. Not fair. "Thank you Pinkie. Now let's have at it!" Rarity says "Yes! Hey Neddy...Wait!... Why are you running!?" Pinkie calls out. "I think you may have traumatized him." I hear Spike say as I continue my retreat. ---- "Come on! Let me in!" Spike begs beside me. The two of us are on the driver's seat of the carriage. Caramel and Clover (Call me LUCKY!) are in front of us pulling the carriage. "Sure thing Spike." I hear Dashie answer. Well, looks like the dragon might get a peek of what I would assume is adolescent heaven in this world. Wow, that sounds so wrong in concept. "Oh heavens no. We are changing." I hear Rarity snap... Hold the phone. "Oh now you're playing the changing card!" I shout back. "Well, of course, we, ponies, have standards." She cuts back. "And what about earlier? To you and Pinkie violating that rule against me?" I ask. I may be slightly agitated. "Oh, I believe it is because you are not a pony." Ow. Double standards. "Beg pardon, but...uh... Rarity..but we don't usually wear clothes." Thank you Jack. Finally, somepony with some sense. "Ugh. Pardon, but some of us have standards." Rarity falls back to that 'standards' policy of hers. "Trouble in paradise city..." I mutter. "I still can't believe we are coming back to Canterlot! It's our hometown, Twilight. And the best part is that we are going to we are all going to hang out all night long!" Spike is very excited. I pat the dragon's head. He beams up to me. "Uh...I-I don't know, Spike." Rainbow says. Uh oh. "We'll have to see." Rarity adds. Double Uh oh. "We're going to be a mite busy." Jack chimes in. Triple Uh oh. "Busy having fun!" Pinkie as well. Spaghetti oh. "Uh... okay." Damn, the dragon deflates with each of their answers. I rub his head once more, and he looks back at me. "I'll be with you, don't you worry about that Spike." I answer his silent question. He smiles brightly. "Don't worry, Spike. We'll spend some time together tonight." Twilight attempts to make Spike feel better, and it works. The dragon is radiating joy once more. "Great! Cause I planned out my insider's tour of Canterlot. I've gotta show Rarity the crown jewels. And Applejack the Princess's golden apple tree. And Pinkie, we gotta go to my favorite donut shop. Then let's get moving! Hyah!" Spike snaps the reigns from my hands and cracks the straps. This causes both stallions to neigh surprised. "Hey! What's the big idea?" Caramel snaps. "Oh...sorry." Spike whimpers. "You're lucky you are friends with both Miss Rarity and Neddit," Clover (Call me Lucky Dammit!) warns. We are all on our way to Canterlot for the gala. I can see grand lights in the distance. I can safely assume that they were from the gala. I can guess that we are only minutes away. The mares are in the carriage getting changed (More like dressed in most of their cases) for the occasion. Spike is wearing a baby tuxedo and it suits him perfectly. I am sporting my dark blue gakuran. Rarity and Pinkie force upon me, earlier, a small dark blue cloak that attaches to my left shoulder and covers my left side. Alongside the cloak, I am given a white braided cord that loops around my right shoulder. I'm not quite sure what it was suppose to signify, but it did look good. Reminds me of my time in that ROTC class back in high school... "I'm so excited!" Spike mutters. "I can tell Spike." I state. "Can't we get there faster?" He asks. "Grow some wings or offer Caramel and Clover (You are just mean!) incentive to go faster." I offer. The dragon deflates. "Uh... I'll get you guys doughnuts!" The dragon attempts weakly. "Yea, no." Immediately shot down. "Might want to distract yourself, it passes the time faster." I told the dragon. "With what? Not much to do from here." Very true. "Alright. I'll do this just once. For you, Spike." I bring on my hands to clear my throat. I may have been slightly inspired by prievious attempts. I begin to snap the reigns against the wood of our seat. Building a rhythm. "Okay... ~I was walking down the street, when out the corner of my eye, I see a pretty lil thing approaching me~ She said, 'I've never seen a man, who looks so alone. Oh could you use a little company~ And if you pay the right price your evening will be nice or you can go and send me on my way~ I said ' you're such a sweet young thing, why do you do this to yourself? She looked at me and this is what she said~ 'There ain't no rest for the wicked~ money don't grow on trees I got bills to pay Mouths to feed Ain't nothing in this world for free~ No I can't slow down I can't hold back You know I wish I could~ No there ain't no rest for the wicked~ Until we close our eyes for good~ I tap my foot and increase the tempo to the snaps. I made sure that the snaps wouldn't bother the two stallions. My head was bobbing to the rhythm. I noticed that Spike was bobbing as well with this look in his eyes. Eyes focused on me by the way. I would hazard a guess, but I'd say it was admiration. Hopefully. Turns out that both Caramel and Lucky (Thank you!) were looking back at me. I turn my head to see that the mares were sticking their heads out the windows of the carriage, giving me that rare look. Surprise all around. "Whut..." I ask everyone. "Didn't expect you to actually sing" Caramel says. "I didn't think you can sing." Clover (NO!) quips "I don't usually sing because I can't sing." I say. "Well, that was pretty good." Twilight says. Really now? "Quite the voice. A little more work on high notes and you'll be just dandy." Rarity comments. "Well...thanks I guess. By the way. We're here." No seemed to notice, but myself. We came over a hill and we were now before a grand castle. There were dozens of other ponies flooding towards it. Some by wings, some by carriages, and some just by foot. It was a sight to behold. There were even spotlights all around. "Whoa. That is a lot of ponies." I comment as we pull into a drop-off before the castle. Spike and I disembark the carriage, I tell Caramel and Clover (For the love of Equestria!) to park the carriage with the rest, and that their suits were in the driver seat. Before they proceeded to follow my suggestions. The mares finally reveal themselves. "Wow, you all look amazing!" Spike states. "I'm inclined to agree. You all look beautiful." I was being serious. I even bowed before them. "Why thank you boys,"Twilight struts before the rest, "I can't believe we are finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this... the best night ever!" She finishes. Oh looky, we're about to break into song... Not going to join on this one... nope. nope. nope. ---- "Stop being so catchy..." I muttered to myself. "Yeah! This is going to be the best night ever! You know why? Cause we're all going to spend the night to...gether? Or not." Spike deflates at the end as the gir-mares split up to their own devices. I pat the dragon's head once more. "This is suppose to be the night we spend together..." he whispers. "Don't worry about it Spike. They'll come around to it. For now, you got me. Let's go see what their serving." I urge the dragon to move along. Spike took me on a tour of the castle. We came across the kitchens, which we both terrorized for pies and sweets. Afterwards, we came into the gardens where we found Applejack and her stand. "Hows the sales Jack?" I ask the orange pony. She gives me a defeated look. "Well I made one sale in the first minute, but haven't made a sale in the second minute, or the third, fourth...fortieth..." She trails off. "I understand Jack. Spike you hungry?" The dragon nods. I smile and dig into my pockets. I produce several golden coins, these are bits of Equestria. "We'll take a pie and a few fritters." I tell Jack and drop the coins into her box. "Aww shucks. You guys didn't have to pay. I would have covered ya'll." She says as she gives us the pie and apple fritters. "It's all for the family and the farm, right?" Jack nods. "Then I'll happily pay, Jack." I tell her. We left shortly after, I told Jack that she could probably do better indoors. But then again, there was a free buffet... Oh well. Spike and I went to the library. Why? Mainly because what Twilight said. I was majorly curious. "So... Puff the magic dragon?" I ask. "Right in one." Puff answers. He was about four or five feet tall, gray scales with really small wings. He had silver eyes and short snout like Spike. Along with the scales, he has a puke yellow underbelly. All in all, nothing like I expected. "Wow..." I really had no idea what else to say. I was just speechless. It wasn't that "so awesome I can't talk" speechless, but that "this is just plain weird and stupid" kind of speechless. "Yes, now is there something I can help you with?" Puff asks. And I swear he does puff out a bit of smoke as he talks. "No, just looking around. Getting a feel of the castle." I say. "Yea, I'm giving him a grand tour of my hometown." Spike answers. "Ah, then enjoy your visit." The gray dragon spouts out another cloud. Spike and I leave the library, I wasn't quite in the mood to grab a book and read somewhere. The two of us spend our time wandering the castle, we met a couple of other party guests, but they were all pretty snobby. Some took interest in myself, mainly because of my odd appearance, but once the initial effect of being different wore off, consider these ponies done and gone. "Spike, come on. You've been moping since the start of the gala." I egg on the little dragon. He had been a bit on the downside of things. I've been the one keeping up our conversations when we met up with the other ponies. "I just thought that we would be spending tonight with everyone." Spike says. I frown, mainly because I am irritated. However, I can't just scold Spike about this. "It'll get better mate. Let's go grab a bite back at the kitchen." I offer the dragon. "Alright, hopefully they found some gems by now." "I highly doubt it." The two of us came through the ballroom for it was the shorter path to the kitchen. We happen to be right in time for the the Pony Pokey apparently. All of the Canterlot elite could only stare at the eccentric creature that is Pinkie Pie, and Spike and I couldn't blame them. Wait, yes we can. These ponies are all snobbish and no idea how to have fun. We continued well on our way to the kitchen. There were no gems. Spike got sad. Time to do something incredibly stupid. "Ned, that isn't smart." Spike is eyeing me carefully. The two of us just left the kitchen and I happen to procure (read: stolen) a large silver tray from the counters. "The world is built upon unintelligent decisions, this is just me following tradition." I offer the dragon some sense. It wasn't good sense, but it gave some context. Spike already informed me that he wanted to leave the gala and go to an old place he goes to. I decided that leaving without doing something worthwhile at such a grand party is just nonsense. So I took the liberty of doing said worthwhile thing. Which involves a tray, a railing, and slight case of the stupid. Oh looky, I found the perfect one. "Ned, I got a ba-" "You worry too much for a dragon. Besides, its just going to be me getting hurt. You'll get a kick out of it." I tell the dragon before I transition from walking to running. I increase my pace and hold out the tray, my cloak is billowing in the draft. Ten steps remaining. Alright, if I truly attempt this I have to get the angle right and the tray placed properly. Eight steps remaining. If I don't do it right, I'll fudge it up and probably break something. Six steps remaining. Oh dear. If I mess up, this will be a grand flop. Maybe I shouldn't go through. Four steps remaining. Ah crap, don't think about it. You can't chicken out now. Do it. Do it for Spike. Two steps remaining. Don't do for Spike! Do it for... NARNIA! No steps remaining. JUMP! And I did so. Leading with my left foot, I bend both knees to bring my feet closer to my body in order to clear the rise of the railing. I bring the tray down once I cleared the railing, bringing it down under my feet. I notice that this staircase is actually the entrance hall staircase. How do I know? Because Twilight and the princess were at the bottom of the steps. Oh this is going to be swell. I vaguely make out that Spike is shouting after me. Too late dragon-born. The tray makes contact with the railing and my feet force the connection further. I recall a memory of only riding a skateboard once. I never could do anything on it. I felt my face drain of warmth and color. This was such a bad idea. However, I have already slid down several feet. Nothing has gone south yet. Elation begins to seep into my mood. I could feel a smile spreading across my lips. I see that there is a line before the princess. Looks like guests are lining up to meet with the princess. Oh, theres another set of steps before the princess. These stairs are like those steps that rise, meet a platform, and then split off to different wings. Nice. Oh, looks like Twilight and the princess have just noticed something odd. That oddity being me. I would wave, but I'm busy not breaking something. Twilight's eyes widen in fear with a slight hint of a scolding edge. Princess Celestia's widen in surprise and there was that strange gleam to her eyes once more. The other guests look in my direction and could only choose between gasping or screaming. A good portion chose the latter. In a feat of dexterity and strength I know that I don't possess, I manage to grab a post by the end of the railing, grip the tray, and swing around the post onto another railing of the final steps. It was exhilarating and scary as hell. It made me question the reality of this world once again. I kick off the railing as I near the end of it. I hit the main floor running and look back to see Spike dashing down the steps. Everyone else? They are standing still, some still screaming, and all of them are looking at me. "I can't believe I sur-" "That was sooooooooo AWESOME!" Spike shouts out as he reaches me. He had his hands balled up under his chin and his eyes bore adoration. "Glad that cheered you up mate." I smile as I turn towards the door. "So... doughnuts?" The dragon nods his head erratically and the two of us leave the gala. I may have been strutting like I owned the place... May have. ---- Spike and I may have binged a tad on doughnuts. What can I say, I like powdered doughnuts. "Another doughnut! With extra sprinkles!" Spike calls out, dear lord, is he getting drunk on doughnuts? "I'll take a glass of cow milk please." I still haven't gotten over the whole Milkmare incident. "Coming right up. You should ease up abit Spike." Pony Joe says. Pony Joe is a light yellow stallion with a tan curly mane hidden under a small white with red stripes bakers cap. He sports a matching shirt. "More sprinkles." Is all the stallion gets. "Alright. Oh hey! Twilight Sparkle, good to see you again!" I hear the stallion call out. Spike and I turn to see that Twilight and the rest of the girls have showed up in. Some of them (primarily Fluttershy) look disheveled. "Hey, how was the ga-" "Oh this looks like a story that has to be told." I interrupt Spike as I offer the girls some space by the table. Twilight begins to scratch her front leg nervously. "Hehehehe, well... let's start it off with..." Some moments later. "Wow, that sounds like the worst night ever." Spike comments. "Well... can't say I expected it." I add on. "Well, I just hope that the princess isn't upset that we ruined the gala." Twilight noticed I raised my hand to catch her attention. I then point behind her. She turns and yelps. "That was the most entertaining Grand Galloping Gala ever!" Celestia says as she approaches the table. The expressions on everyone's face deems that this was unexpected. "Pardon me princess, but tonight was just awful." Twilight counters, "The gala has always been awful, Twilight." Celestia points out. "It has?" Twilight asks, "Oh yes, that is why I was thrilled to have you and your friends come. I was hoping you all would make it a little more exciting. I'm sure you'll agree that tonight isn't so bad for this group of friends." The princess states. "You know shes right. Spending time with friends tend to make nights like this one a whole lot better." I add. Twilight gives me a look. "And what about that stunt you pulled back there?" She asks in a scolding tone. "What stunt?" Rainbow chimes in. I've been noticing some strange stares from that pegasus since the Young Flyers competition. "Oh, just the most awesomest of stunts of all of Equestria!" Spike says proudly as he strikes a pose. I could only smile at the praise. "One of which, Neddy didn't actually believe he could do. It was quite the sight." That was from Pinkie... wait. "How in the world did you know that I didn't believe I could do it?" I ask the pink anomaly. "Oh I read the story, silly." How can she deliver that so straight-faced! Ignoring the anomaly, Twilight continues. "You're right, princess. Friends do have a way of making the worst of things better." "Yeah! Like hanging out." Dashie "Laughing" Pinkie "Talking" Flutters "You just like what I wanted to do the entire time?" Spike chides. "Yes, Spike. You were right." Twilight concedes to Spike. "As horrible as our night was.." Jack starts. "...being together with our friends has made it better." Rarity finishes. "Infact, its made this - the best night ever!" Twilight and Pinkie add on. The lot of us laughed. Then Spike yawns. "That may have been one doughnut too many buddy." I tell the dragon, who yawns again. "Well, it has gotten late. Oh dear, do Clover(I can hear "CALL ME LUCKY" in the distance) and Caramel haven't gotten to distressed." Rarity says worried. "Well, chances are they are probably at an inn for tonight. We should probably find one ourselves." I offer. "Oh that won't be necessary. You all can stay at the castle." Celestia brushes away our worries. Oh sweet. I'm gonna sleep in a castle! ---- We were all back in the castle of Canterlot. Twilight and Rarity are both talking to Celestia and the rest of us were following in good silence. Well, most of us. "So Nedster, what was this about a stunt that was the stunt of all stunts?" Dashie asks. "Well, it involves a tray, a railing, and a lack of self preservation." I answer. "And a whole load of awesome." Spike adds. Dashie gave me a look. "Show me.", "Well, we need a railing and-", "Alright, then let's go back to the main hall.", "Hey, hold on Dashie. I didn't agree to thi-", "Move it Nedster!" The two of us continue to throw back and forth until we arrived at the staging ground. Yea, we separated from the rest of the group. "Dash, I'm not quite sure I can replicate the trick." I object weakly. "None sense, any trick can be performed twice." She counters. "Yea this one is one of those rare exceptions." I counter her counter. "Horse apples, Nedster." "This isn't like your sonic rainboom, Dashie." "Hey, I only performed that one twice." "Yea, I know." "And if I could do that, you can do this." "Not going to happen." "Yes, yes it is." She says before shoving a silver tray in my hands. The hall was empty, but still lit up. For my earlier misconceptions of this world, it seems that they do have electricity. Odd. I've always wondered how they would change their light bulbs. And for that matter, who runs the power companies? "Dashie... you know what, fine." I give up against her stubborn nature. Better comply before she does something more idiotic. With a whoop from Dash, I run towards the railing banister once more. Ten steps. Alright, let's do this just like before. Eight steps. It looked easy the first time. Six steps. No it didn't, it was hard as hell. Four steps. Shtako, this isn't going to go well. Two steps. Fierfeck, don't jump! No steps. Ah, crap. The moment I cleared the railing, I knew something was wrong. Despite the fact that I already knew that, I still tried to make the best of it. The tray was under my feet already, and about to make contact with the railing surface. Perhaps I went to far in the jump, maybe I got the tray placed incorrectly, or maybe I landed on the tray wrong, but things went sour pretty fast. "Ah, damn." was all I could let out before a series of crashes, groans, and grunts followed. First, the tray went lop-sided. Second, my groin met the railing. Third, despite already falling, the tray assisted the railing in my groin assault. Fourth, I hit the post at the end of the steps, which clipped me quite well to knock me off the railing. Fifth and finally, there was the awkward landing at the mid-platform of the steps. To summarize it all. Ow. Long version? Oooooowwwwwwwwwwwww. "Ned! Are you alright?!" It should probably look obvious Dashie. "Yea, just peachy down here. Might have dislocated something." I say as I cup my family jewels. Gods that hurt. I felt something press against me before flipping me over. I see Dash with a slightly worried expression. "You look alright to me..." Dashie seemed to trail off. She was giving me that weird look again. Her eyes locked with my own. Her front hooves pressed into my chest. I was getting a weird vibe here. We were silent, only the sounds of our breathing could be heard. "Dash," I wasn't comfortable with this, "You mind getting off?" The pegasus didn't seem to notice I said something. "Ned..." After a short while, she finally said something. "Do you have a special somepony?" Special somepony? As in a good friend or... "No..." I chance my answer. Flags were raising in my head. I extremely worried why. "Then consider this an open invitation." Oh no. Before I could do anything, the blue pegasus lowered and claimed my lips. My limbs didn't move They couldn't move The world stood still My mind couldn't comprehend what had just happened. For what I believe were minutes, all I could do was lay there and receive a lip-lock from a pony. Correction, a pegasus. How does this even work. Two completely separate species. How does one see the other in any sense attractive. It just doesn't work. I don't suddenly see rabbit in the yard and get urges to go to town on it. A pony shouldn't even see a human as anything, but a fellow inhabitant of it's world. Yet here I am, currently mid-smooch with that of the flying equine race. This world needs more context and a set of rules, laws, or whatever people or ponies or dragons or whatever would follow more. Eventually, the pegasus ceased her actions. She lifted off my person, blushed (Again, how), and quickly sped off. "What. The. Hell." Not a question. Merely a statement. "I was wondering where you went off to." I turn my head to see the white mare that is Princess Celestia. I'm suddenly curious on how long has she been standing there. There was that strange gleam in her eyes, though. "If you do not mind, I have a matter I wish to discuss with you, Ned Delostrinos." She says. I assume that we would not be talking about what had just occurred. I lift myself to my feet and turn to follow the alicorn. She steps down a hall and I walk up by her side. I am so confused. ---- "What is it you would like to discuss?" I ask the ruler of Equestria. We eventually came to a stop in, what I could assume, an observatory. There was a large glass dome in the ceiling, stained glass on the walls, and elaborate equine-related designs on the floor. Various banners lined the wall. "There is something that has come to my attention and I require a service of you." Celestia says cooly. Now this is getting weirder. "Services?" "Yes, you have spoken to my sister about various creatures that you have seen in the Everfree Forest." "Yes, I did. Creatures not currently seen in any of your bestiaries." "Well, under those suspicions, I have sent a small team of my trusted subjects to investigate." There was more to this story. I nod to allow the princess to continue. "I sent them five days ago. I have yet to receive word from them. I fear things may have become complicated." "You wish for me to learn the fate of your subjects?" I could see where this was going. "Yes. To my belief, they may have gone past the Everfree. There is another forest just beyond. I would suggest starting a search there." "Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I have yet to agree." The princess's eyes narrow. "Oh?" "Now while it is terrible that your team has yet to return, it is of none of my concern to risk my own life to learn of their fates." I'm not going to chance my life on this princess. "That is unfortunate." Her eyes never lost that gleam. "I thank you for considering me, but I just don't see the po-" "Ponyville would be in danger." I stopped. Why would she say that? "I'm sorry?" "Whatever is in that forest will eventually come to Ponyville." She begins to pace about. "A threat that none of my soldiers are familiar with." She begins to circle me. "Creatures that haven't been seen for nearly over a millennia have appeared. Only you, myself, and my sister are familiar with these beasts." She stands before me, her eyes locking with my own. "My sister and I have our duties here. We cannot drop our responsibilities on what we do not know. I can only ask of you." Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. "Ponyville needs you, Ned. Your friends need you. Will you not help them?" She asks. I'll give Celestia one thing, she definitely knows how to be regal and authoritative. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. "I have only a bow, princess." I have conceded to her cause. "I have a sword for you." Celestia's horn glows and there is a flash. Out of the ether, floating before me is a gleaming white blade. It is a short sword of probably four to five feet length. It is roughly seven to eight inches wide, and there is purple runes along the flat of the blade. The hilt is wrapped in red leather and bears a tassel of red. At the end of the blade and just above the hilt guard, there is an insignia of a sun decal. Turns out the other side of the blade bears another insignia, this time of the moon. Celestia levitates the blade into my hands. It isn't too heavy, I would guess around fifteen or twenty pounds. She tend produces a scabbard. The sheath is gray and bears violet runes down its surface. I am also given the scabbard. "I'm honored, princess, but I don't know how to use a sword." I say as I sheath the blade. This is mostly true because all of my knowledge on sword fighting comes from, well, tv shows and cartoons. "I'm sure that when the time is dire, you will gain the necessary skills." Now what the hell does that mean? "I'm not sure I follow, princess?" "You will know when the time comes." Really? "This is a lot of faith you're putting in me, princess." "I am sure that you will succeed at the task. All of Equestria depends on it." Oh, no pressure then. "This is a lot to take in." "Do not worry, the blade is enchanted. It shall purge any evil and will always guide you in darkness." Ok, so effective against monsters and has a bright light attachment. This is getting better and better. What's next? A bag of holding? "Now young Ned, retire for the night. You have a quest to embark on and I wouldn't want you to be tired at the first step." From there, Celestia points me in the direction of the wing that everyone else is staying at. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I just agreed to risk my life at something out of a role-playing game. Where is a wise-cracking archer when I need one... oh wait. I guess I fall under that category... This is going to be weird. ---- The ceiling is dark. The room is dark. The sky is dark. It is bloody night, of course everything is dark. I look out the window of the bedroom I'm sleeping in. The moon is high in the sky and there are stars a plenty. I've been tossing and turning in my bed (A bed that fits me!) for about a few hours. The whole investigation thing is wrecking my mind. I'm wondering what I would find. I'm hoping I just find a team of ponies that were just lost. Thing is, I highly doubt Celestia would ask for my assistance if was just that. Something must have happened. She probably didn't tell me all the details. Dammit. Why did she have to emphasize the threat on Ponyville? I sit up in the bed. This isn't going to work. I know something is going to happen on this thing. I can just feel it. I should probably tell Celestia that I- "Hey Ned, are you awake?" I look towards the door of the room. That sounded like Twilight. "Uh... yea." "Can we come in?" We? "Sure." The door opens to reveal Twilight and Spike. The two walk in (Well Twilight walks, Spike was currently riding her) and close the door. "How can I help you guys?" I ask. "Well, Spike here is having trouble sleeping..." Ah, I see. "Sure, you two wanna come up then?" Both pony and dragon nod. Spike yawns once more and it is contagious as I join him. The two of them climb onto the bed and snuggle in. Spike takes his usual spot on my stomach and Twilight lays herself in the crook of my right arm. I place my right hand on Twilight's back and rest my head once more on the pillows. "Comfy?" I ask. "Yep." They answer. "Goodnight Spike. Sleep well, Twilight." "Goodnight Ned. Goodnight, Twilight." "Sleep well, Ned. Sleep tight, Spike." And like that, I no longer question why I should do this. I am socially awkward. Definitely.