I can be social. Probably. Maybe.
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My name is Ned Delostrinos.
I am socially awkward.
A great impression to who I am. Allow me to elaborate. To those who have recently gotten to know me, I'm quite the outgoing guy. I talk and make jokes(more on that in a little bit). To those who have grown up with me know that I'm socially retarded.
This would require more elaboration, wouldn't it?
Let's start with recent things. My newer friends(or would it be acquaintances) would identify me as a cheerful individual who goes out of his way to greet everyone. That should be a sign to the inner personality, someone who is actively seeking to interact with people. It either leads to that person is a socialite or making up for something. For me, I can only assume the latter(I may go into detail about that.).
Older friends know that I am an isolationist. I prefer the comforts of virtual anonymity to the outside. It's not like I fear the outside world, it's just my preference to play videogames rather than sports. I go out with friends, I play videogames with friends, and I like hanging out with friends. I just like being in a comfortable place and just do what entertains me best.
Yea, I am on the lazy side.
Now if I were to critically analyze myself, it would go like this.
Growing up in a spoiled childhood has incredibly increased my difficulties in my adolescence years. Self-imposed isolation in adolescence as drastically reduced social skills and obstacles for late adolescence. Preference to virtual satisfaction leads to indoor activities.
Now I can understand this to some degree. I am socially awkward.
My newer friends can probably tell this from the fact that whilst following through a witty one-liner, my thoughts stop dead, and I mess up on the punchline to a sad degree. They also know that I'm not that knowledgeable on popular social topics like sports, celebrities, or tv shows. But I can talk a mean storm about halo and starcraft. Terrans need a super soldier to handle all them zerglings.
I should probably stop delving into my own mental stability and probably focus on what had just occurred.
Let's rewind abit.
Ah.
I had just gotten into college. Big accomplishment in my book, not so much in my family's eyes. I got my dorm and moved in. I believe I refurbished it. Finally loaded Starcraft and Guild Wars 2.
Oh looky, is that a tear into the fabric of reality?
Oh dear, why am I flying towards it?
Oh shenanigans, Am I in the void that is the space time continuum?
Oh nice, thats the ground. Wait. I'm moving pretty fast.
Oh good. Darkness.
Yep. That sums it up pretty nicely.
Hold on to that. I forgot the part where I wake up to, of all things, a purple pony.
Scratch that. Purple Unicorn.
"Purple...?"
"Hey, It's coming to, everypony..." Did it just talk?
"Hrk.." looks like my mouth isn't working quite yet.
"Hey! Are you alright?" the purple pon- unicorn says. Yea, it's a unicorn. It has a horn on its forehead... along with a dark purple mane with a red and pink streak. That's totally acceptable.
"Nrg..." Good lord, did I break my jaw? Nope, still moving.
"Twilight, I don't think it's alright. Whatever it is." Looks like this purple unicorn wasn't alone.
"...uh...What happened...?" Finally. Damned lips took their sweet time.
"Well, you fell from the sky." It came from somewhere out of my vision. I didn't feel up to looking just yet. Could be something weirder than a purple pon- unicorn. Dammit.
If I had a unicorn, I wouldn't make it purple. Make it white or something. At least that would correspond to what I had in mind already.
Wait. Fell from the sky? I need context.
"...The.. sky?... how?" hmm, I get a feeling -
"Yea, dropped outta the big blue above. Fell lika' rock. A realleh big rock" This was different from that other voice, had an accent. Southern? Anyway, kinda obvious I dropped from the sky.
"...Why?" Yea, I expect the answer to be-
"Well... I was kinda working on a spell and it... sorta worked." Well, I would say I did expect that, but no one goes anywhere good lying in to themselves. In their head.
...Spell!?
"...Argh!..." Probably shouldn't have gotten up so quickly. The world was spinning. Colors were blurring.
Stop. Spinning. World.
Need. Context.
"Hey! Be careful!" Oh, nice. Another voice to the mystery.
I don't think exclamation points are necessary for that last one. I could barely hear that soft voice.
With a shake of the head(whoa, terrible idea), my vision spun for a bit before finally clearing up and slowing down. Let's take role call!
Right leg. Check.
Left leg. Check. Slightly scuffled.
Right arm. Check. Sleeve is bunched up.
Left arm. Check. Dirt.
Body. Yup still there. Bruised? Maybe
Head. Slightly spinning. Check.
All of Ned Delostrinos has made it through whatever the hell just happened.
"Ugh... um... you said spell, right?" Oh nice, my voice is wavering.
"Yes... You see I was trying to practice a teleporting spell..." Spell? Well, it is a unicorn. Perfectly acceptable.
"- and I may have messed up somewhere on the casting." Well, I would say sorta.
"...I would say sort of... You did take me from my room to here." Ah, my voice is normal...sorta. "Wherever here is..."
I decided that sitting down is no longer something I should be doing. I got my feet under me and rose up to the sky. I would admit, I may have struggled in doing so.
The sky was blue, that's normal. The hill was green with grass that stretched to a meadow, that's normal. A cool breeze brushed against my body, that's normal.
A purple unicorn. That isn't normal. Stop being repetitive.
Oh, it's pretty short. I guess roughly three feet, maybe three and a half?
Right, we're not alone.
A look to my left.
Orange pony, yea it's a pony, with a blonde mane. That's pretty normal. Oh, it has a tan cowboy hat. Of all things. BUT I'll take it. Beats what I saw afterwards. Also, it had green eyes.
Pink. An actual pink pony, Yes I checked! With a poof pink mane. Perhaps I should slap on a pink hat?
A look to my right.
YES! A white unicorn. THE WORLD MAKES SENSE! Ah, it has a dark purple mane(quite flowing and stylish too). Purple eyes, alluring.
Ah, I've been too quiet.
"Ah...sorry. Allow me to introduce my messed-up self. My name is Ned Delostrinos." I bowed my head abit. People love head bowing. Wonder if that applies to those of the equine variety?
I tipped my head back up.
"Are those pegasus's?" Pegasus's? Well, there's my brain fart. Pegasi. Remember it.
First of the two pegasi was yellow. I can handle that. It had a pink mane, almost as flowing as the white unicorn, though not as alluring.
"Is that a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane?" Yup. A blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane. Reality, exit stage right.
"Yes. You seem quite knowledgeable." The purple unicorn says.
"Cute. Well, tha- Urk!" I would have said thank you, but Miss Blue had other plans. It tackled me to the ground pretty fast. Damn that hurts. Oh. It's trotting on my chest. Neats. I lift my head only for it to press into the blue meanie's ...snout?
"Who are you calling cute?!" Hey, this matched the second voice. Ow. Why is she taking insult to cute? Ow. Oh looky, darkness is edging my peripherals. Ow.
"Rainbow! Stop that! You're hurting it!" Someon- THING pushed the blue curbstomper off of me and a worried purple face...snout...whatever replaced it.
"Are you alright?" It asks. You know what. I'm genderizing these ponies. Purple unicorn is now a she.
"Yea," I croak to her, "I've felt better, but I can manage this."
I felt something clamp on my left shoulder. A quick glance shows that the orange pony has bit my shoulder, surprisingly just the cloth. She hefted me up a bit, before I lifted myself to my feet.
"Thanks...?"
"Applejack, and no problem fella." Southern accent, blonde, and a cowboy hat. What a combo. I smile. I felt movement on my back. I turn my head to look over my shoulder, only to press into another snout. Pink?
"You can call me Pinkie Pie! So what are you, buddy-ru?" Huh. Could have sworn she was a little in-front of me. Wait. She's sticking out from within my shirt collar!
"How-w-w...? You know what? I'll accept that for now. Nice to meet you." When I looked back at the purple unicorn, I could have sworn I saw her nod her head.
"Well, my name is Rarity. You look absolutely terrible in those threads. We should change that up soon." So, a white unicorn named Rarity. Seems fitting. Did she make a dig at my clothes?
"Sure... Can I safely assume that there are no other... well, creatures like me around?" I was gonna say humans, but something tells me they don't know that term.
"Nope. Nothing even remotely similar to you. You can call me Twilight Sparkle and this is Fluttershy." She pointed her hoof towards the flying yellow pegasus, who seemed to have 'eeped' and shot behind Twilight, barely peeking out beside her. Wait.
If there are no humans, that means that the primary indigenous species around would be.
TALKING PONIES
Fcuk
"And you have already met Rainbow Dash." Twilight gestures to the last equine of blue and wings. Rainbow Dash? How very fitting.
"I'm gonna go on a limb here and say, I'm not in Maryland am I?" Ask the obvious.
"Maryland?" Oh boy. "Not familiar with that. No, you are in Equestria." Twilight says.
...
FCUK!
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"I gotta say. You guys seem to be taking this whole thing in stride." Well, except one of you. Smarter not to voice that.
"We could say the same about you, pardner" ...Applejack... I think.
"Well, let's just say that I'm letting my usual conceptions go out the window for now. Otherwise, It would be me getting frisky with the floor." Always wanted to say that.
"Ooooh. I'm not quite sure how the floor would feel about that. You should probably get to know it first, Neddy!" Pinkie wants me to wine and dine it first? Damn. How do I follow that one up?
"Help me break the ice first, Pinkie." Hah! I'm so smooth.
"Alright, here we are." The purple unicorn had taken me to this place called Ponyville(Oh I wonder what could possibly be here?) and was taking me to her home. The rest of the ponies(Is it alright to call not-ponies, ponies?) followed along. Twilight (Or was it Rarity?) approached a giant tree. Wait. This tree had windows. A balcony. A door. More windows. This was like the ultimate tree-house. AWESOME!
"Awesome place," my voice may have quivered.
"Thanks, come on in." Twilight says with a smile before opening up the front door and strolling in. I followed.
*Thud*
Riiiiight. Ponies that barely make up to half my size. It would be logical that their doors would be catered to their height. Smooth Delostrinos.
I duck down and enter the tree house of awesomeness.
"Oh hey! What's that, Twilight? Whoa, wait, why is it stumbling backwards?"
"What in tar'nation?!" "Ah? What's going on?" "Eep!" "Hey! What's the hold up?" "Silly Neddy, we can't come in if you back out!"
Is that a dragon?
"Is that a dragon?" I will admit. My voice did quiver.
"Why yes, he is." Twilight seemed to be all too happy with my reaction.
"That's so COOL!" Then again, I'm sure I'm entertaining right now. I guess I'm funny when I'm suspending my belief.
I dove to my knees before the purple scaled dragon. It had a green fin on its head, like a mohawk, with a corresponding green fin going down its back. It had a short snout. I should probably mention that it was shorter than the ponies.
DOESN'T MATTER, IT IS A DRAGON!
"...For the king, for the king, for the king of Skyrim..." Yea. I was having a nerdgasm.
"Um, sorry, what are you saying?" It asked. I guess I wasn't whispering low enough.
"Ignore that. You are a dragon. You are friggin' awesome!" It seemed quite content that I was praising it. Who wouldn't praise a dragon.
Stupid people. Thats who.
Though, why is he so short?
"I'm curious though, how come you aren't big and terrifying?"
"Well, Spike here is just a baby dragon." Twilight's words seem to blow the wind out of Spike's sails.
"Yes, Spikey Wikey here is just the cutest, most adorable little thing around here." I turn to see Rarity trot by, briefly brushing the dragon's head, then trotting on by. That was disturbing.
Wait. Why was spike floating. How come he is following the unicorn. Why does his eyes seem glazed ov- oh. Ooooh. Sunnova.
Welp, he just lost some points in my books. Still gets points for being a dragon. Doesn't matter if baby dragon.
"Ah here it is!" My attention was brought back to Twilight as her horn glowed and a book flew from a shelf.
Oh I should probably mention that the inside of her home seems to be a library. A tree-house library. That's pretty cool.
Ánywho, Twilight levitates a book(hey it's glowing) into my hands. I probably should be going crazy at the sign of magic, but hey, Suspending belief.
The book read, "The history of Equestria."
Oh there's this extra tibit. "For Colts and Fillies!"
Good lord, I've stumbled on the Equestrian version of "Our world. FOR DUMMIES!"
"Thanks" I hope I was convincing. I didn't sound like it. I open the book.
Well, this is going to be interesting.
'The sun and the moon is raised and lowered by Princess Celestia.' I read.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
"I'm gonna say that this land's religion is the worship of a goddess?"
"Ah no, just Princess Celestia. Which reminds me. SPIKE!" Twilight shouts.
The dragon seemed to snap out of his trance from floating around with Rarity and dropped to the floor.
"I need you to write a letter to the Princess to inform her of this incident." The dragon salutes and dashes off out of the room.
"Well, this is a nice place Twilight." I was nervous. I realize that there is a chance that this isn't all a hallucination or a dream. How the hell am I gonna live in a land full of talking ponies?
Well, At least it has a dragon. Everything is better with dragons.
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It has been a week since I came to Equestria.
A week of dealing with talking ponies.
And I honestly can't say that I hate it.
Let's break it down.
The first few days have gone along the fashion of me getting acquainted with the ponies. Vice versa with them to me. The town took it quite well. I took it well enough. After fainting once.
It's not like it was all shocking. It was just a good portion to absorb.
I sleep at Twilight's tree-house in my own handcrafted bed. Handcrafted because nothing here is my size. Well, thankfully Twilight had a book on Equestrian carpentry, so learning was fun. Had to get some tools from another pony in town, named Smokestack. He seems really cool. He taught me all I really need to know about carpentry. Might be working for him sometime soon.
So built my first bed. A little squeaky at times, but it is really comfortable. Spike and Rainbow Dash laughed at me the first time I tried to lay down on it. The cheeky bastards.
I spent most of the week with Twilight and Spike. Learned that Twilight was suppose to write to her mentor and ruler of the land, Princess Celestia, everyday on what lessons she learns. Usually about friendship. Yea, so she is a teacher's pet. Poor Spike though, having to write everything for her. Oh well.
The little time I didn't spend with Twilight was spent either getting to know the ponies in town(everyone is pretty nice) and helping out at the Sweet Apple Acres. Gotta say, Big McIntosh is pretty chill. Less said about Applebloom the better. Granny Smith seems to take a liking to me, but that's probably because of the rate I eat apples.
Which brings me to one of my biggest dilemmas. THERE'S NO MEAT!
Well, there is meat, but I gotta hunt it. And I won't go into how my first trip into the Everfree forest went.
Fcuking Manticore.
Anyway, Where am I currently?
In the tree-house.
"- yea, anyway my knowledge about unicorns and pegasi come from mythology."
"Mythology?" Twilight asks as she levitates a book into a growing pile. We are rearranging her books into a new system. Not sure if it beats her old one, but she was willing to try it out. It's a rather simplistic one really. Organize books by their genre and type then by alphabetical. I'm not quite knowledgeable on the actual system(Huey? or was it Dewey?), but my way seems simple enough.
"Well, Mythology is basically... Well long before my time, people couldn't really explain how the world works. So they made up stories and people took them as facts." I pull out a book and glance at the title, "A guide to treasure hunting." That would probably go in information: recreation.
"Like back then, people didn't know about the sun. So they said that a god named Apollo pulled the sun across the skies. They had a god for about everything. Thunder, Sea, Forest, War. Hell, even had a god of wine." Dionysus, did he even count as a god?
"Wow! You're people are pretty interesting. Are you getting all of this down, Spike?" I look over to see the dragon sitting on the table in the center of the room, jotting down everything I'm saying. I gotta hand it to the reptile, he has good handwriting at high speeds.
"Yea, despite all of it being disproven later on, it was still pretty cool. Anyway, Unicorns were a unique creature in legend. A rare creature- ", "How so?", "Well, special circumstances had to be met. First it responded only to women."
"Women?"
"Yea, the female gender of my species. Also known as the fairer sex of our kind."
"Ah, you said that before. Right Spike?"
"Ah yea, just gotta find it." Spike squeaks and begins to flip through the pages.
"Page three Spike. About mid-way through."
"Ah, there it is. Thanks!"
"Yea, anyway, responds only to women. The women had to be pure, meaning never having been bedded. Unicorns tend to like full moons and large ponds untouched by man. So yea they were pretty circumstantial creatures. Even then, they had a large reward."
"What kind of reward?"
"Well, they were the fastest of runners. Some say they had magic-"I notice Twilight grinned at that, I smirked back. "but the biggest prize came with their flesh."
"Their flesh?"
"Yea it's pretty grim. They say that the blood of a unicorn can grant immortality. Not the same immortality of a god, but another kind called a half-life." I never quite knew what a half life is. "Yea, I think it's a life of constant suffering or something. Anyway, the horn of the unicorn, if grounded, can cure any illness. Lastly, they say that the flesh of a unicorn will sate one's hunger. Forever." That would be nice, but Twilight seems a little ill at this. "Sorry"
"It's alright. You at least know that isn't true. Right?"
"Yea, don't worry. I won't start nibbling on you anytime soon."
All three of us share a small laugh at that.
It seems nice to have this kind of interaction.
"And what about pegasus, Ned?" Spike asks.
"Yea, pegasi are a little more famous than unicorns. They tie directly to mythology because they are part of two legendary heroes. Hercules and Perseus." Oh, what's in this book?
I promptly closed it and threw it behind me.
"What was that book?"
"'The anatomy of a pony.' Not something I'm interested in at the moment." I took a breath before pulling out more books.
"With Hercules, who was the strongest and most famous of greek heroes, he was given the pegasus by his father, Zeus the god of thunder. Hercules was made famous by performing twelve labors deemed impossible by man." Yea, Herc was the coolest hero of that time. "With Perseus, another son of Zeus, he acquired the same pegasus from the body of creature called Medusa. A gorgon, or snake beast that could petrify with her stare.", "Like a cockatrice?", "Cockatrice? You're gonna have to bring me up to speed on that one Twilight. Later. Now, anyway, you see that Perseus was stuck on the island that housed Medusa's temple. Pegasus changed that and took Perseus to the city he was going to save. This story gave more details on Pegasus. It said that these creatures were the fastest of flyers and were quite durable."
"Wow, so you're people have great imaginations" Right you are Spike.
"Well, yea. They created a whole religion on this stuff. Everything they attempted to learn back then pushed us of the modern age forward. Great storytellers they had back then. I'm quite sure that the pegasi from my world could probably out fly anyone here."
"I wouldn't tell Rainbow Dash that." Twilight jokes as she begins to re-shelve the books.
"I might, just to see how she reacts." To say that me and Dash didn't get along is like saying cats don't like getting wet. Since our first meeting, we just haven't gotten along.
"Heck, my ribs still ache from the last time she tackled me." I prodded my sides to make my point. Dash has a mean, well, dash and her tackles feel like a heavyweight boxer punching me in the chest. I remember when she was doing tricks and managed to get herself crashed into a pond. When I made the comment, "Ha, kitty got wet." She came out of the pond like a rocket and tackled me into the ground.
Nurse Redheart at the Ponyville Hospital had a field day learning how to reset my ribs. Rephrase, how to reset human ribs. That was fun.
We ended up finishing the re-shelving pretty quickly. I was gonna continue telling Twilight and Spike more stories, but then the monster that is our stomachs made their demands known.
Ah yea, my second dilemma.
All they had for food was fruits, vegetables, and colorful flowers.
That last one wasn't so bad, it was just that I get nothing from it.
Thank god for Sweet Apple Acres' apples. Without them, I would go mad. Granny Smith makes a mean pie.
Friggin' love pie.
Gotta say though. This is one way to make me eat allot healthier. Remove all meat and junk food from the world. Still kinda mean.
I'm socially awkward.
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