//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Fixing Up Miss Smartypants // by Arkensaw Pinkerton //------------------------------// Fixing up Miss Smartypants, Part 3 by Arkensaw Pinkerton “So that’s ‘A Mare’s Guide To Marriage’ back safe and sound,” Spike said, dropping the weighty tome into his wagon and giving the mint green unicorn in front of him a quiet wink. “Just make sure you don’t let on anything to Bon-Bon. I’ve been planning this proposal for weeks now. I’m sure she thinks I’ve developed some secret obsession,” Lyra whispered back, blushing slightly. “I won’t let on anything to anypony! Let me know when she’s said yes, okay?” Spike said with a wave as he wheeled his wagon away from Lyra and Bon-Bon’s little house. Lyra nodded enthusiastically before going back inside and shutting her door. Spike eyed his wagon critically. It was getting a little full, and he’d only just hit the halfway point on the list of books he wanted to collect. He’d gone to the library after dropping off all Rarity’s mail, and as he’d expected Twilight was out on her weekly delivery for those ponies who couldn’t find the time to get to the library during opening hours. That was a lot of ponies, thought Spike. Probably because Twilight tended to view opening hours as a mild suggestion rather than strict rules. Still, the book delivery service was a way of getting around the irritation caused in the town by the number of times the library was closed for one of Twilight’s experiments. Or because she was reading upstairs and had forgotten to unlock the door. Or because she was out and about on what Spike was assured were ‘important examinations of the magic of friendship’, although he was starting to get suspicious about how those tended to coincide with her turn to do the washing up. He’d used the time to go through the list of books out of the library from the romance section, and since most of them were due back in anyway he figured he’d go and collect them before finding Twilight to tell her about her date. The first thing she was likely to ask him to do in any case was to fetch reading material, so it’d be best if he actually had some to hand. There were a lot more romance books out than he’d expected though, and some ponies had been pretty embarrassed about revealing their reading material to Spike in any case. Colgate had only admitted she’d got “Stallions are from Ares, Mares are from Eros” after Spike had showed her the list. Doc Whooves hadn’t stopped trying to explain exactly why it was important research that had led him to take out the entire series of “Doctor, Darling” paperbacks. Cheerilee wouldn’t even look him in the eye when returning something called “The Art Of The Bridle”, although in fairness that one was illustrated. All in all, though, Spike felt he was running out of time. The next name on his list was Fluttershy, and she lived quite a way out of town. She had the majority of the remaining books, and actually almost half the ‘erotica’ section. Fluttershy was one of those few ponies who used Twilight’s ‘automated checkout’ system at the library, which was Twilight’s name for ‘just let Spike know you took the book out and don’t bother me while I’m reading’. Actually, Fluttershy had taken out almost all her books through Spike instead of through Twilight. Spike frowned a little. Did Fluttershy want to keep Twilight in the dark about her taste in books? This would be a lot easier to work out, Spike thought, if I knew what ‘erotica’ was. I’ll have to check the dictionary when I get back to the library. In any case, it’s a good job I’m the one getting them back- if Fluttershy was keeping her reading list quiet, it’d only make her flustered if somepony else found out about it. If I make that one last stop at Fluttershy’s now, figured Spike, then I’ll have pretty much everything back. Then I can find Twilight, tell her about her date tonight and she’ll have a ton of books to leaf through. His decision made, he turned around the fountain, only to see his big sister on the other side of the town centre, wearing mostly-empty saddlebags and being followed by a belligerent-looking Rainbow Dash. As he walked over to meet them, he heard a snippet of their conversation. “All I’m saying is you might need somepony to fly one of your books somewhere while you’re on your route.” Rainbow was saying, although she wasn’t actually looking Twilight in the eyes while she spoke. “Uh huh.” Twilight’s voice had the same peculiarly flat tone it did when Spike tried to tell her something while she was reading, and Spike got the feeling that she hadn’t been listening to her pegasus companion for some time now. “You can’t fly. Not even with all your magic! But I can, and I refuse to let a friend be stuck in trouble because I was off on a personal errand.” “Uh huh.” “I’m the Element of Loyalty, Twilight.” Rainbow suddenly flipped in front of Twilight, blocking her path and rearing. “Loyalty. I couldn’t leave you in the lurch like that!” “Sure thing, Rainbow. I bet it’s nothing to do with- oh, hey Spike!” Twilight’s eyes lit up as she spotted Spike walking over with the wagon. “Twilight, I’ve got news for you!” Spike shouted as he got closer. This was too good an opportunity to miss. He could tell Twilight about her ‘mystery date’ and then get Fluttershy’s books later. Pleased with himself, he put on his best dramatic voice, swelled his chest and spoke. “Twilight Sparkle, while I was running errands earlier I was talking to another pony in town. A pony who shall remain nameless. A mystery pony. And they wanted me to tell you that they would be-” “Are you collecting books?” Twilight cut across him, sounding peeved. “Spike, Tuesday is book collecting day! This isn’t Tuesday! This is Thursday, which is book delivery day!” Twilight indicated her saddlebags with a flick of her horn. “Well, yeah, but this mystery pony-” “What if you’ve picked up one of the books that I just gave out? You could have really irritated somepony! What if they wrote me a letter of complaint?” Twilight carried on, her voice getting higher and higher pitched as Rainbow Dash stifled a giggle behind her hooves. “But- but the mystery pony-” “What if they wrote Celestia a letter of complaint? She’ll decide I can’t be trusted with the library! She’ll-” Spike took a deep breath and shouted across Twilight’s rant. “You’ve been asked on a blind date!” Twilight’s jaw hung open, mid-rebuke. Even Rainbow was stunned into silence long enough for Spike to get out a hastily spoken sentence. “You’ve been asked out on a date tonight at the Maison de Lune at eight o’clock, and you have to wear something nice, and it’s a mystery pony who asked you and I can’t tell you who it is because I promised I wouldn’t.” “But- but the books-” Twilight stammered out. “These are almost all the books that had been taken out of the Romance section. I thought you might want to have a read before deciding what to do. But you should wear your Gala dress, because the mystery pony likes it a lot,” Spike said, frowning a little to emphasise that last point. “I’ve never been on a date before,” Twilight said quietly, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think- Spike, are you sure I’ll like them?” She looked up at Spike with nervous eyes under heavy lids, and Spike almost couldn’t bear it. She really was a bit naive when it came to romance after all. “You’ll love them,” he said with a big, brave smile. Twilight lifted her head a little higher and exchanged a quick, pleased glance with Rainbow Dash, who was grinning widely at her. Suddenly, a large red apple bounced off the back of Twilight’s head at fairly high speed before ricocheting into the fountain. “Ow! What was that?” Twilight said, wincing at the impact. She levitated the bruised apple out of the fountain, pulling it over to where Spike and Rainbow looked at it in confusion. “I dunno. That’s pretty weird. Maybe somepony threw it at you,” Rainbow said, her eyes lighting up. “Maybe somepony’s throwing apples at a whole bunch of ponies! They’ve got to be stopped! Twilight, I gotta go after them!” “You don’t have to do anything except go speak to- to a certain pony,” Twilight said, flickering her gaze to Spike momentarily. “You have to stop making excuses! Like me, for example. I’ve never been on a date before, and this is a blind date at a fancy restaurant and I’m going to go even though I’m nervous. And you’re going to go and talk to the pony you’ve been avoiding. Okay?” Rainbow pouted , looking sulkily at the fountain. “Fine. If you can do yours then there’s no way I can’t do mine. I can find the Apple Bandit of Ponyville tomorrow.” Twilight and Spike exchanged exasperated glances for a moment before Spike jumped into the lull in conversation. “I’ve got almost all the books back from the Romance section, but Fluttershy still has a lot of the rest. Twilight, you can take these back to the library and I’ll go over to Fluttershy’s, get the other books and meet you back there, okay?” “I’m not sure, Spike,” said Twilight, looking at the sun. “It’s nearly four already and I’ll need at least an hour to dry from a bath and sort my mane, plus a half hour in the bath, and a half hour to dress, and if I need one of the books from Fluttershy’s then I’ll only have about an hour and a half to read it if you go at your normal speed.” Twilight grabbed the wagon handle in one hoof, and levitated her saddlebags over to Spike. “Wait, I don’t think-” Spike tried to explain that he’d rather be the one to get Fluttershy’s books back, but Twilight cut him off mid-sentence. “You finish these deliveries- there are only two or three left- and I’ll teleport over to Fluttershy’s cottage, get the books on the list and then meet you back at the library when you’ve finished. See you later!” she smiled for a second, and then she and the wagon both disappeared in a flash of white light. “I never quite get used to that,” Spike muttered to Rainbow. “I do get used to her leaving me a job, though.” Spike picked the saddlebags up off the floor and turned round, only to be confronted by Rainbow grinning madly at him. “So Spike, you promised not to tell Twilight who her mystery date was, right?” “Yeah,” said Spike, nervously. This was not going to end well. He could feel it. “But I bet you didn’t promise not to tell anypony else who the date was, did you?” Rainbow’s grin grew even wider. “Well, not exactly, but I’m sure-” “Tell me who it is! This is too juicy, Spike! Somepony’s got a crush on little miss smartypants? I gotta know who!” Rainbow said, smiling and stamping one hoof on the ground. “I don’t think-” “Is it Applejack?” Rainbow started flying, lifting off the ground and pushing her face towards Spike. “I’m just not sure I should-” “Is it Fluttershy?” Rainbow said, leaning right in towards Spike. “Fluttershy?” Spike asked, genuinely bamboozled for a second, all his nervousness forgotten. “I thought Fluttershy and Big Macintosh were dating.” “Fluttershy and Big Mac? Hah!” Rainbow snickered, doing a quick loop-the-loop in amusement. “Fluttershy’s not interested in stallions. Didn’t you know that?” “Well, obviously not!” Spike said in indignation. “I just figured because she spent so much time up at the farm that she was trying to get close to him, or something.” “‘Or something’ is right,” Rainbow laughed under her breath. “But we’re getting off topic. Is it Colgate? Or Caramel?” “No.” Spike said, turning to haul the saddlebags onto one shoulder and trying to ignore the pegasus hovering over the other “Daisy? Rose? Fancy Pants?” “No!” Spike shouted, his frustration rising. “It’s not Lyra, is it?” Rainbow mused, starting to run out of ideas. “Of course it’s not Lyra! Lyra’s proposing to Bon-Bon!” Spike clapped his claws over his mouth and span to face an astonished Rainbow Dash. “Lyra’s gonna prop-” Rainbow was cut short by Spike’s claws over her mouth. “You can’t tell anypony! I promised Lyra, okay? I’ll even tell you who Twilight’s meeting on her date, but you can’t tell anypony about Lyra and Bon Bon and you can’t interfere in Twilight’s date tonight! Promise!” Spike blurted out, desperation on his face. Rainbow pushed his claws away from her mouth with a triumphant smile. “You got it. I promise. So tell me already!” Spike leaned towards Rainbow, looking around for anypony who might be listening in, before whispering. “Twilight’s mystery date is Rarity.” Spike pulled back, a little confused. He’d expected some reaction- it was excellent gossip, after all, and after telling somepony it might be a relief to finally talk about it- but Rainbow just stayed quiet, her eyes focused in the middle distance, as she slowly landed on the ground. “Rainbow? Rainbow Dash? Hello?” Spike waved a claw in front of her face, and suddenly the pegasus seemed to snap awake, with a brittle smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Spike, hey! Yeah, that’s quite a scoop. Good for Twilight. Look, I gotta get going, okay? I think I’m late for a nap. And I have, er, a letter to deal with.” she said, pulling a little envelope trimmed with hearts from under her wing. “Didn’t Twilight say you had somepony to talk to?” Spike asked, genuinely confused. “Huh? Oh, that. No, not really. Not any more, anyway. Catch you later, Spike.” Rainbow Dash beat her wings once or twice and soared away with uncharacteristic slowness, as Spike looked on confused. As he pulled Twilight’s saddlebags over his shoulder, he didn’t notice four young fillies dragging a big bucket of apples behind them leave from the other side of the fountain, pulling towards Fluttershy’s cottage on the edge of town. -------- Big Macintosh lumbered slowly into the centre of Ponyville, his near-empty saddlebags loose across his broad back. The fence across the southern fields had been completed in enough time for him to go into the library for a few minutes. Maybe he’d look up one of the farming almanacs in the reading corner. The one that faced the fire, where Miz Sparkle liked to sit while she was cross-referencing. He pondered, as he made his way around the fountain, what had drawn him to the bookish unicorn in the first place. She enjoyed reading, and it’d be nice to discuss the books he read with somepony else, sure enough. He did have to admit that Applejack was justified in her surprise, though. He enjoyed working with his hooves, and the hard work of the farm was in his bones. Twilight Sparkle worked hard too, but all her muscles were in her mind. He’d seen her hunt down a magical rule she needed the same way he’d track an errant sheep, finding traces of the author in book after book until she’d pinned down the scroll it was scribbled in the margins of. That was impressive, but it wasn’t the sort of work that would help out at Sweet Apple Acres, he knew. What if she got bored at the farm? What if she resented his time there, or got upset or frustrated that she wasn’t as strong as he or Applejack? Not that she wasn’t perfectly athletic, Big Mac corrected himself. She did well in the running of the leaves and she wasn’t weak or slight. She could probably adapt to farm life pretty well if she didn’t mind putting on a few pounds of solid muscle in the process. She could also lift a heck of a lot with her magic, certainly more than Big Macintosh could lift himself. That’s the sort of talent that could come in useful, he thought to himself. If she didn’t mind getting a little practical with her research, maybe they could finally get the stream diverted due east, irrigate out some of the higher land so it’d be usable all year round. They could move into his Ma and Pa’s’ old room, after they’d been seeing each other long enough. Granny Smith had been bugging him to do it for years- head of the household and all- but it hadn’t felt right to him, to take that big room on his own. Big Macintosh shook his head a little to clear it of daydreams, and smiled ruefully at himself. He could try convincing himself Twilight was the right choice for the farm all he liked, but the fact of the matter was his heart had fixed on her about two months ago and it wasn’t planning to point in any other direction. He’d thought he’d fallen for Fluttershy in the past- she was kind to him, and he found it easy to speak to her, and he’d been upset sure enough when she’d turned him down. But that hadn’t felt anything like what he now felt for the little lavender unicorn who ran the library. It was when he’d spotted her looking through him this all started, Mac thought to himself. He’d been in the library looking for something to read to relax after a hard day, and after a brief and pleasant conversation Twilight had set him up with a copy of ‘One Flew Over The Griffin’s Nest’ and he’d sat down to read. He could see her working in front of the fire and occasionally he’d happen to glance over at her, hard at work on a series of magical problems. Back then, she was just another of his little sister’s friends, somepony he’d see around occasionally but nopony special. Then he’d looked up to see her staring right at him. She was deep in thought, with a serious expression and the tiniest wrinkle between her eyebrows that showed how hard she was concentrating. She seemed to be examining him minutely, looking into his eyes for something, and suddenly- to his great surprise- Big Macintosh felt a blush starting around his neck and rising through his cheeks. “M-Miz S-Sparkle?” He’d stuttered out, suddenly breaking her concentration. Her gaze snapped onto his, looking at him properly for the first time, and suddenly she’d started talking, flushing with embarrassment and burbling her words as she suddenly stood up. “Oh! I wasn’t- I wasn’t staring at you! I know I was looking directly in your direction but my attention was directed elsewhere. I mean, was thinking about a magical spell that switches the colours of things, so I was looking around the room at different colours, and you’ve got green eyes and Stormlord the Bald’s first law states that it’s always more difficult to change a pony magically than to change an inanimate object, so I was thinking about what I’d have to do differently if I wanted to change the colour of your eyes but I don’t actually really want to do it.” Twilight sighed and lowered her ears, looking away from Big Macintosh as she saw his perplexed expression and starting again. “I meant to say I didn’t mean to stare. And that you have green eyes but you probably know that already,” Twilight said, looking back up with an apologetic expression. She had violet eyes, Big Macintosh realised, and for a moment he couldn’t believe he had ever found them possible to overlook. “Eeyup,” he said. He couldn’t find any other words. Ever since then, he’d been as smitten with her as a cat with cream, he thought to himself. He started to lose himself in daydreams again until he was interrupted by a yell from almost underneath him. “Whoa there, Big Mac! You nearly stepped on me!” Spike said with irritation as he walked further out in front of the stallion. He hefted Twilight’s saddlebags on his shoulder onto the street before pulling out a fairly large textbook and a paperback novel. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! You’re my last delivery for the day, if you’ll take something with you for Granny Smith. She’s got ‘Love In The Time Of Colic’ here, and you’ve got ‘Common maladies of the Malus genus’, which is almost as heavy as I am so be careful with that. You good to go with those?” Spike said, scratching off names on a little list. “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh grabbed the paperback first and tossed it into a saddlebag. “Okay, I’m done for the day! I’m back off to the library. See you later, Big Mac!” Spike waved a quick goodbye and started off at a brisk walk as Big Macintosh slowly maneuvered the larger book into his other saddlebag, carefully working around the lump of his glasses case. In his caution, he dislodged a scrap of paper from the textbook, sending it drifting to the ground in front of him. He didn’t need his glasses to see the name ‘Rarity’ printed clearly on the front of the envelope. Or the little hearts around the edge. Calm down, Big Macintosh thought to himself. Yes, it’s probably a love letter to Rarity. Yes, it was in Twilight’s saddlebags. But that don’t mean Twilight wrote it. It could have been, er, it could have been- come on fella use your darn brain for once in your lifetime- “Spike!” Big Macintosh exclaimed to himself, picking up the letter in his teeth and galloping after the young dragon. As he rounded the second corner towards the library, he only saw a brief, terrified flash of green and purple before he tripped over Spike and the two of them landed in a heap. Spike pried himself out from underneath Big Macintosh, his eyes unfocused. “Did I give you the wrong book?” Spike slurred, wobbling to his feet. “Nnnope,” Big Mac said firmly, controlling his words and moving the letter to directly in front of Spike’s face. “Did you write this to Miz R-Rarity?” He asked around the letter, his face unreadable. Spike rasied an eyebrow and snatched the letter out of the stallion’s mouth. “Nope! This hoofwriting is awful, it looks more like Twilight’s than mine. Where did you find it?” Spike said, looking carefully at the letter. Big Mac could feel his stomach sinking with every word. “In th’ textbook,” Big Mac mumbled. “Well, it’s not mine. It could be Twilight’s, I guess. They are her saddlebags. But I don’t know why she’d write a letter to Rarity when she sees her so often. And what’s with all these little hearts on the edge?” Spike looked up at Big Mac quizzically, before examining the envelope again. Big Mac could almost see the wheels turning in Spike’s head as his eyes lit up. “Wait, you don’t think this is a love letter, do you? Oh, wow! Big Mac, this is perfect!” Big Mac raised an eyebrow at Spike’s enthusiasm. Wasn’t the little dragon head over heels for Rarity? Spike saw his confusion and leaned in close before whispering the rest. “Look, don’t tell anypony, but Twilight’s got a mystery date tonight with Rarity! This letter means that Twilight must like her back, so now I know it’ll definitely go well.” Spike leaned back expectantly, waiting for Big Mac to react to his news. Big Mac took a deep breath, swallowed, and looked Spike directly in the eye. “Eeyup.” Spike’s excited expression faded, as he picked up Twilight’s dusty saddlebags, muttering something about ponies not knowing good gossip if it bit them. Big Mac could see from his expression that Spike had wanted a better reaction, but Big Mac didn’t have it in him to fake the enthusiasm the dragon wanted. Rarity? Really? Big Mac thought to himself. She’s about as far away from me as you can get and still be a pony. She’s all powders and perfumes, fashion and gems. If that’s the sort of pony Twilight likes then she would never have been interested in me. Big Mac cleared his head and took the letter out of Spike’s claws, putting it safely in his saddlebags again. “Ah’ll deliver it. Ah’ll bet you’re gonna be busy makin’ sure Miz Sparkle’s ready for her date,” Big Mac said tonelessly. Still, it had the effect he’d wanted, since Spike gave a grateful thumbs up and sped off towards the library. Big Mac turned and headed for Carousel Boutique, keeping his mind carefully blank of ideas like losing the letter in a sudden blizzard, or accidentally delivering it to a convenient fire. He was a grown stallion, darn it, and he wasn’t gonna let himself get riled over some pony he liked preferring somepony other than him. It wasn’t like he and Twilight had been seeing each other and Rarity had up and stolen his date with strategic dressmaking. She and Twilight were two ponies who liked each other and deserved a clear run at it. As he reached the boutique, Big Mac just wished he’d had the courage to ask Twilight out back when he might have had a chance. No use crying over unbucked apples, he told himself as he got to the door and retrieved the letter. He decided he’d rather not actually deliver it face to face and see Rarity’s reaction right in front of him, so he slid it under the door and knocked three times before turning around and walking back to town to meet Ditzy Doo before their speech therapy lesson. Even that didn’t work as he’d hoped,since he wasn’t a hundred yards away before he and every other pony within half a mile heard a great squeal of excitement from Carousel Boutique. Eyes downcast, he made his way slowly back to the fountain. “Wh-what’s g-got you looking so d-down?” Big Mac looked up to see Ditzy waiting for him at the fountain, looking at him with her good eye. He supposed he must have been quite a sight, moping his way down the street towards her. He shifted his collar and stood up straight before replying. “Well, Miz Ditzy, Ah just got some news Ah didn’t care to hear. Ah suppose Ah was sulking about it a little,” He said with a little smile. “Oh. D-do you want to t-talk about it?” Big Mac could see the concern in Ditzy’s eyes. The blonde pegasus had been a good friend to him ever since they’d met at speech therapy. Not that the therapy actually seemed to help her much, he thought. Her stammer was still as bad during the lessons as it was when they’d first started, but she said she found the information helpful as soon as she got away from the stress of the lessons. “Naw, Ah’m just being foalish,” Big Mac replied, setting into a slow walk. Ditzy fell in beside him, matching his pace. “We’ve just got time for a muffin each from Sugarcube Corner before we go see Doc Whooves. What d’ya think?” Ditzy nodded enthusiastically at that, and the two friends set off to their appointment. -------- “Okay now, sir, if you’d just stretch your wing out a tiny bit more for me that’d be just wonderful.” On Fluttershy’s table, a bright blue cardinal stretched its left wing out to its fullest extent, enabling Fluttershy to carefully unwrap the tiny bandages around its base. She looked at the uncovered wing critically, checking to see if the bandages had restricted feather growth or hidden any unexpected infections. Satisfied that the wing had healed properly, she allowed herself a big smile before continuing. “Well everything looks just perfect. I’m sure if you just take it slowly and avoid any sudden exertion you’ll be absolutely as good as new within-” BAM BAM BAM A loud, insistent knocking startled the cardinal and Fluttershy both, sending the bird flying out of the window as fast as he could move and Fluttershy cowering under her table before she realised it was just a knock. It took a few seconds and a raised eyebrow from Angel Bunny before she remembered she was supposed to actually say something in response to a knock on the door, even if it was a really loud knock. “Who is it please?” Fluttershy asked in what she was sure was a confident and commanding tone. “Fluttershy? Are you in? I need to talk to you!” Fluttershy sighed with relief at hearing Twilight’s voice, even if her friend did sound a little stressed. Extracting herself from under the table, she walked over to the door and opened it to let Twilight in. As soon as she did, she could see relief on the unicorn’s face- whatever she needed to discuss was clearly important. “Hi there Twilight! Please come in, I’ll get you a cup of tea.” Fluttershy gestured as Twilight dragged in Spike’s wagon, heaped high with books. Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice the titles on some of them- what on earth was Twilight doing with a book like ‘The Art of the Bridle’? “No time for tea I’m afraid. I just needed to get back the romance books you borrowed. I’ve got research to do!” Twilight pronounced happily. She pulled up a list from the wagon and scanned over it, reading a few of the titles out loud before she realised what she was saying. “So let’s start with ‘The Mare Erotic’ and the ‘Filly Friends’ series, and then ‘Housemares at Play: fifteen tales of forbidden...” Twilight trailed off,embarrassed. Fluttershy couldn’t say anything; she’d frozen in place. “How about I just give you the list and you find the books yourself and I have a cup of this delicious tea?” Twilight said quickly, sliding the list over to Fluttershy and sitting at the table. She busied herself pouring out a cup of tea and quickly hiding her face behind it. Fluttershy picked up the paper from the table and looked over it, almost fainting when she saw all her ‘entertainment’ listed out in front of her. Quickly sweeping the list off the table Fluttershy set about retrieving the books from her bedroom. By her third trip, Twilight seemed to have recovered from her shock enough to ask a question. “Fluttershy? I’m- I’m a little surprised at your choice of reading material. Not that I disapprove or anything! I really don’t, I mean I’ve got a well-read copy of- not that you need to know about my reading habits, sorry. What I meant to ask is- this all seems marephilic. I thought you and Big Macintosh had an understanding. Was I wrong?” Fluttershy felt her stomach fall. Ever since she’d turned Big Macintosh down a few months ago, she’d found it simpler to just not explain the situation to anypony. They all assumed that Big Mac and she had been carrying on in secret, and since they were both fairly private and shy nopony had really pressed her on it. Even Rarity had had the good grace not to press too hard during their spa sessions, and though Fluttershy had never actually lied she’d carefully let Rarity come to the wrong conclusion. The pegasus sighed at herself a little, sat down at the table and looked up at Twilight from under her mane. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t lie about this if somepony asked her directly. “Yes. I mean, I don’t have an understanding with Big Macintosh. He’s a nice pony and I like him a lot but I’m not attracted to stallions,” Fluttershy said quietly. She wasn’t sure what reaction she expected from Twilight, but an exasperated sigh certainly wasn’t it. “So you turned him down a few months ago. He’s just been walking around and not dating anypony, even though he could just go and ask out anypony he liked.” Twilight folded her forelegs, looking thoroughly peeved. “I really thought you and he were dating!” “I asked him not to tell anypony that I’d turned him down,” Fluttershy said, biting her lip. “I was- I didn’t want Applejack to get mad at me. Or say I shouldn’t go to the farm so much.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Why would Applejack do that? I mean, if Big Macintosh was alright with everything.” “It’s not that I think she would want to see less of me or think I was hurting Big Macintosh’s feelings or anything. I just think Applejack’s really focused on a specific picture of the future. I think she saw that Big Macintosh liked me, and that she and I get on well and I’m good with the animals and I can even help a little with the weather. She’s planned a whole life for us all in her heart. I don’t want to have to tell her it can’t be that way,” Fluttershy said, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes. Twilight listened silently, her tea forgotten. “I don’t want Big Macintosh. I want Applejack.” Fluttershy didn’t feel any better for saying it out loud. She’d hoped she would, but it wasn’t a relief to get it off her chest. It was just a confirmation that it was true, that she’d been pining over a farm pony who’d never think of her as more than a friend. Not while it might hurt Big Macintosh to think otherwise. Fluttershy wiped her eyes with a hoof and set back to her bedroom to get more books. Suddenly, Twilight was in front of her. Fluttershy caught a glimpse of the tears in her friend’s eyes before she was pulled up into an enormous hug, Twilight squeezing her hard enough to trap one of her wings in the process. “Oh, Fluttershy!” Twilight almost sobbed into the pegasus’ shoulder. “I didn’t- I had no idea that you were- I promise I won’t tell her, okay? More importantly, I promise you we’ll get Applejack to come around. The way she is around you- the care she takes- I’m sure she feels something for you. I just know it. We just need to get her to know it.” Fluttershy extracted her wing from Twilight’s embrace, pulling her forward into a more comfortable hug. “You really think that we could-” Fluttershy was interrupted by a flat, cold voice from the door. “Not that Ah want to interrupt, but Ah need to have a word with Fluttershy,” Applejack said. Fluttershy and Twilight froze for a second before Twilight disentangled herself. While Fluttershy mostly kept her composure and just quietly returned to her hooves, Twilight couldn’t seem to stop herself talking. “Applejack! What are you doing here? Not that you shouldn’t be here, of course, I mean who doesn’t like to call on Fluttershy? Not that I’m calling on Fluttershy! I’m just here about the books!” Applejack eyed Twilight suspiciously before taking a look at the wagon and turning pale. Snorting from her nostrils, she started towards Twilight, getting louder with each step. “This is what you were here for? Well, don’t it all start makin’ sense now! You’ve been coming round here with your little smut wagon for a few months now, Ah reckon. You’ve been seducin’ Big Macintosh with your fancy books at the library, and now you’re peddlin’ your bawdy nonsense to Fluttershy! Well, the amount of time she’s spent up at the farm she’s practically part of the family, d’ye hear? Ah look after the Apple family! Me! You got no right to take her away from me!” Applejack had pressed Twilight right back against the wall of the little cottage. Fluttershy could see Twilight silently pleading with her to help, but Fluttershy just couldn’t find her voice. “I think you’ve got the wrong idea Applejack, I wasn’t-” Twilight stammered out. “You weren’t what? Staying? Well you’re right there, missy. Here, you take your cart of fornication and you teleport back to that book barn you call a home!” Applejack said, grabbing the handle and forcing the wagon at Twilight. “Applejack- I didn’t-” “Listen, sugarcube, Ah’m gonna make this real simple for you. Either you get home right now or Ah buck you there.” Applejack turned to make good on her threat, and with a squeak of protest- and an apologetic, panicked glance at Fluttershy- Twilight disappeared in a flash of white light. Fluttershy took a longing look at the open door for a second before meeting Applejack’s furious gaze. Applejack didn’t speak straight away, and when she did her voice had the same awful, even flatness as when she’d arrived. “Ah could understand if you didn’t want Big Macintosh for personal reasons, Fluttershy. Ah really could. But you have been lying to me. Don’t come to the farm again.” By the time Fluttershy found her voice, Applejack had left, her powerful strides taking her out of the cottage and over the hill. Fluttershy sat down by the table and stared at her cooling, unwanted tea, taking deep breaths to calm herself. After a few minutes, there was a tentative knock on the door. Fluttershy wandered over listlessly and nudged it open, to see four young fillies and a pail of apples. “Hey there Fluttershy! Did we miss Twilight Sparkle?” Applebloom said, beaming and panting with exertion. “Yes, you missed her. Can I help?” Fluttershy asked tonelessly. “I don’t think so. We’ve got to throw apples at her!” Dinky cheerfully exclaimed. “Not at her, to her. Ah thought we covered that at the fountain,” Applebloom complained. “I say it’s too hard to keep up with her just to throw them near! We’ve gotta make every shot count,” Scootaloo interjected. “Scootaloo’s right,” Sweetie Belle agreed. “We’ve gotta make sure she can’t think of anything but apples!” “Well, maybe. Perhaps if we hit her hard enough with them we only need two or three good throws. Fluttershy, where’d Twilight get herself off to?” Applebloom realised after asking the question that she had maybe misjudged Fluttershy’s mood. Across the pegasus’ face there was an expression she’d only seen once or twice before, and each time it had meant that she and her friends were in a whole heap of trouble. Fluttershy’s glare had an intensity that was difficult to ignore. “I think,” Fluttershy said quietly, “that you girls had better come in and tell me everything.” The four young fillies filed silently into the house, their heads held low. Fluttershy followed them in and closed the door.