//------------------------------// // Enter, Insanity: Part 1 (Completely Revised/Must Re-Read) // Story: A Stranger to the World // by Perceptive Key //------------------------------// Chapter Five Enter, Insanity: Part 1 The hallway was filled with a small procession of ponies: seven mares, two dozen stallions, and one human. Celestia led the party throughout the castle's many twists and turns. They passed through the large, grandiose halls, their stained-glass windows, depicting great events throughout Equestria's history, regularly divided by the tall, white marble pillars. Slowly, though, the halls began to narrow, and the windows became plain, the same way as the pillars became unnecessary. Alex walked in the center of a pool of guards, with Hart walking along next to him, the latter of which was grumbling without end. Alex could hear him muttering and complaining, but all he made out was "Witt." They all turned a final corner and would have found themselves at a dead end, had a tall, spiraling staircase not been there. Alex had to crane his neck to see the top, as the stone steps spiraled off into darkness. He gave a low whistle at the sight, "That's tall." "No," Hart replied, "that's Witt's idea of a practical joke." "Stairs?" Alex questioned. "That's... really funny," he added sarcastically "Endless stairs." "'Endless stairs?'" "Once you get to the top," Celestia explained for Hart, "you end up right where you started." "Wonderful," Alex complained, rolling his eyes. "Unless, of course," now Twilight spoke, "you do this:" The purple mare's horn glowed her own reddened lavender, and the similarly colored magical aura covered the stairs, briefly. A loud grinding noise reverberated throughout the passage, making some of the ponies wince. Slowly, the stairs appeared to be moving. After a brief confirmation, Alex was certain that they were turning in a screw-like manner, their pace quickening with every rotation. "What does this guy do in his spare time?!" Alex stared. He didn't expect a stairway to nowhere that was actually a spiral escalator in a castle! He then realized that Celestia was already stepping onto the stairs, her tall, slender frame being snatched up by the momentum and carried upward. One by one, the remaining mares each repeated the movement, they too being lifted by the mechanics. The cluster of guards stepped aside, allowing Hart to make his way to the elevator. The grey stallion reached the base and turned back to Alex. "Come along," he said. Alex blinked and, reluctantly, stepped forward, the guards standing out of his way as he passed by them. Hart waited for him to close the distance between the two and placed a hoof on the stairs, immediately being carried up. Alex reached out with his leg experimentally, but was caught up in the momentum and fell onto the steps. He grunted as he landed on his good arm, still glad that he didn't do any more damage to the broken appendage. He looked up and watched the twisting procession and was captivated by the sight. The many coat colors of the assorted ponies gave the space a sort of rainbow effect -not including the mare with the literal rainbow mane. He staggered to his feet, careful not to hurt his broken limb. As they neared the top, Alex could hear some singing. "A mare of white, her coat so fair; Gave me quite a sudden scare..." The singer was not just one, but two, voices... and they sounded drunk. Really drunk. The pitch was terrible and the speech was undeniably slurred. "... I said 'goodbye' before a 'hi'; and bade her 'be you well, dear!'" The song ended and was replaced by heavily drunken laughter that echoed throughout the chamber. 'What the hell?' Alex thought. The staircase reached its end and Alex stepped off, the other ponies already waiting on the landing. Ahead of them, a sliver of light filtered under a closed door, but that wasn't the only thing. "I haven't been this drunk in ages!" one voice exclaimed, its speech layered in booze. "And you said it would be a waste of time!" another, deeper voice chimed in. The pair burst out laughing at his comment, their cackling becoming increasingly annoying to Celestia. Said alicorn's face was beginning to show that annoyance. With an exasperated huff, she forced the door open and entered the room, everyone else in tow. Alex had to watch his head, as the doorframe was barely tall enough to fit his entire being, which was strange, as Celestia passed through without incident. After he entered the room, he took stock of the layout before him. The room was nearly the size of a small gymnasium, and it was covered, wall-to-wall, with varying pieces of technology. A far wall was lined with a set of computers that looked like they were from the sixties, tape wheels and everything. Another had a bank of small monitors that looked like they came straight out of Bill Gates' garage. The day he bought the garage. The only modern-looking object was a tall, thin, cone-shaped structure that occupied the room's center. "How old-fashioned are you guys?" Alex asked as he stepped over a large cable. For a place with magic, they sure didn't have any top-of-the-line tech, save that spire. "We're not old fashioned," Celestia replied. "No-pooooooooony knows... the troubleI'veseen... No-po-ny knnnoooooooowwsss my sorrooooowsss..." the drunks were singing again, their voices as far off key as before. Celestia and the others followed the sound of the voices until they reached a scattered pile of papers. A pair of brown hooves were poking out from beneath, and the floor was littered with empty paper cups. The Princess approached the mound and cleared her throat, loudly, "Eh-hem!" The papers shuffled around a bit before settling back down. They waited for a few moments, but no one showed. "EH-HEM!" Celestia cleared her throat a bit louder this time, and it seemed to do the trick. "I'd know that voice anywhere," the papers said. After some shuffling, a brown unicorn stallion with an unkempt, dark brown and black mane poked his head out, a stupid, drunken smile on his face. He wore mirrored goggles over his eyes, their rims the color of rust. "Princess... Celly-est... uh... I forgot your name! HA!" His voice was a sort of high baritone, but the laugh came out as a near 'squeak.' He also had a noticeable English accent as well. The pony kept laughing ridiculously, the outburst approaching a cackle. "Shut up, Witt!" Celestia commanded. She stomped her hoof on the stony floor, which only emphasized her point with the resounding echo. The pony instantly obeyed, but his goofy smile remained as his head teetered back and forth, precariously. "I could use some help here," the stallion said carefully, using a free hoof to point to his head. The Princess grumbled and her horn illuminated, the stallion's smile vanishing after a few seconds. "Many thanks," Witt said, his drunkenness seemingly gone and his accent regulated. "Discord's over there," he pointed to mound of cardboard boxes leaning against some processors, a loud snore suddenly emitting from beneath them, "if you need him." "Fascinating," Celestia said dully, rolling her eyes at the pony. The stallion groaned, "I am going to have one Tartarus of a hangover." He clapped his hooves together and a pair of sunglasses appeared over his eyes in a brief flash of white light. He exhaled contently, "Now, what was it you came for, Cell?" "Are you aware of the anomaly that occurred yesterday?" Celestia asked him, her look of annoyance never wavering. "Yes," Witt answered, "I measured the calculations yesterday. The data was compiled fairly quickly. Try to remember that I'll get the same readings. You'll get my full report tomorrow morning." The stallion suddenly looked around, panic stricken, "What day is it?!" "Tuesday," Twilight answered for the Princess. The stallion cocked his head and another smile formed, this one genuine, not the product of alcohol. "Is that you, Twi?" he stood on all four hooves, shaking the papers off of him. He was wearing a brown jumpsuit that covered his cutie mark and body, with a brown, pinstripe vest over it. He peered around Celestia, getting a glimpse of the six smaller mares behind her. "Hey, Twi, Jacks, Dash, Rare, Pinks, Flutters! How's life?" "Fine," Rarity replied, not even turning towards Witt. "The same," said Applejack, not looking as well. "Good." "Okay." "Better," Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow answered respectively, they too, avoiding Witt's gaze. He frowned at the five of them. "Wow, I feel so welcome," he added blatantly. Twilight was the only one to put out her hoof for Witt to shake. "Sorry, Witt," she apologized with a small smile, "they still hate you." The stallion sighed but accepted the hoof, "That's to be expected. So, what can I do you fine fillies for?" All seven mares, and Hart, stepped aside for Alex, who had been waiting patiently. Witt narrowed his eyes when he noticed Hart and his face slipped into a frown. The room was silent for a long minute aside from the whizzing of the computers. "Witt," Hart was the first to break the silence, but his greeting was short and curt. "Doctor Hart," Witt said with the same, condescending tone of voice. "How are you? If you even want to answer that question." "I'm fine," Hart replied mockingly, "I just came up here to check the sanity of one of the castle's occupants." "Rude," Witt put a hoof across his chest in pretend offense. He sighed and looked over at Alex, "So you're the one that's causing this bloody mess, eh?" Alex shrugged, "I suppose." "He speaks," The stallion slowly turned back to Celestia, "And why is he up here?" "Because," Celestia kept her voice in check, "I've assigned you and Hart to watch him until we find a way to send him back." "Excellent!" Witt complained, "Now I have to share two more rooms! Brilliant!" His horn glowed white and a single computer rotated on a wall to reveal a door behind it. "Down the hall, first door on your right," he waved his hoof at Alex, "Just don't go to the first door on the left, that's Discord's." "You expect me to believe that there's a hallway on the other side of that door?" Alex asked in disbelief. "It's bigger on the inside," he replied quickly, "now go on. I need to have a chat with the Princess and her subjects." Hart nudged Alex and the pair started for the newly revealed door. Alex stole a glance back at the ponies before opening the door. "I though you said he was insane," Alex asked as he and Hart passed through the door. "This must be one of his better days," Hart explained. The duo disappeared as the door closed behind them. Witt stared back at it for a while, silently observing it. "You two owe me," he said without averting his gaze. "How many now?" Celestia groaned. "Five." Celestia shook her head. "You shall be permitted to leave the castle as long as you don't cause harm. You may enter the kitchen to choose whichever meals . You may dine with us at any group gatherings for one month. You may-" "Actually, I think I should choose the last two since you're putting this kid under my watch. Each and every one of the mares exchanged worried glances at the prospect. "One: I can attend this year's Summer Sun Celebration." There was a collective chill as the seven mares shuddered at the thought of Witt attending the event. "And two," he continued, "I get V-I-P tickets to the Triple 'G.'" "You can't be serious?" Twilight choked. "Oh... but I am," he smiled. Celestia visibly considered this for a few minutes before lowering her head. "Deal," she said. Witt's cheery smile returned, "Excellent! Now, run along," he waved his hooves at the ponies in a shooing manner, "I must speak with this... human." The cardboard boxes shifted abruptly, some of them falling to the floor. Everypony looked over to the pile just in time to see Discord's multi-species head pop out, a very shocked and confused expression on his face. "I'm sorry," he said politely, "but did you say 'human?'" "Yes," Witt confirmed, "I did. Why?" "I think I might know how he got here," Discord grinned. "You can't be serious?" Celestia questioned. The draconequus chuckled at her remark, "Oh, Celestia. I just might be."