Snickersnatch

by SpiralWriter

VII - On the Road to Manehattan

For those two mere hours, I slept naught a wink, my brain buzzing about with the information overload that had occurred earlier in the day. All in all, it was a lot to take in, too much for my simple thinker to process. Petrified then awoken for unknown reasons? Sweet gear that really made no sense to receive? Discord a good guy now? Waaaaay too much to take in all at once.

What was the reason for it all? To me, it all boiled down to the very top of this land, Celestia. Each one came down to a different motive, entirely unknown to everyone else save for the sun alicorn herself and possibly, possibly, her sister and the rest of the royal family. The latter seemed very unlikely however. You don't end up an immortal ruler and not keep a few secrets to yourself.

I sighed, knowing that this mystery would have to stay unsolved for now. I rolled over in the bed (perfectly made for my size mind you), and sighed. At least my time here had been comfy. The pillows were fluffy and stuffed with solid cloud, the blankets silky to the touch and warm. It was perfect if you could actually sleep. I tried to close my eyes, allowing the dark that overtook your mind when sleeping to come as quickly as it could, only for it to quickly flee at the sound of something knocking at the door. I groaned, rolling until I fell out of the bed to land with a thud on the floor, tangled up in the bedsheets and too lazy to stand up.

"Come in . . ." I muttered, my body sprawled in tiredness and not caring in the least.

"Good morning, Oddjo-" Goldguard entered, only to pause as he looked around to see an empty room. I raised a claw into the air so he could see and pointed down towards myself. "Here. On the floor." I groaned out.

". . . Do you normally sleep like that?"

"Only on Wednesdays." I said as I stood up, removing the sheet from myself and stretching, the sound of popping bones audible. I twisted my neck and felt the tight muscles within release, at least that made me feel a bit better.

". . . Today's Tuesday."

"Well maybe I'm mixing up my schedule. You ready to head out?"

He nodded. "We'll grab a bite to eat in the mess hall then head towards the path leading out of Canterlot. Grab your possessions."

I looked down, the stave hanging loosely across my back and the overcoat still being worn. "Done." I said with a shrug, following him out. It was just early morn, the new day just breaking over the old night, faint gleams of sunlight crawling across the horizon. Stars were still visible, but they were fading fast as their much brighter sibling rose higher and higher. It was always a sight to behold the sunrise, here and back on earth, an art form only the gods could master.

Mr. Hilarious Name led me out of the castle and back towards the guard barracks, the same soldiers in the same place I had last seen them, performing the same drills. Either they were on a strict schedule with very little alterations to the routine or they had stayed in the same spot overnights.

We entered the supposed mess hall,a rather spacious building with rows of benches, guards sitting at them and eating what appeared to be a mess of gruel, everything a nutritious, yummy breakfast needs, minus the nutritious and yummy parts.

"Grab a seat, I'll get us some food." Goldguard went to wait in a line on the other side of the hall, nodding at his fellow guardsponies, even chuckling as some tossed playful remarks his way.

I scouted the area, spotting an empty table near the corner. After shoving my way past some guards, who thankfully did not draw any weapons at the sight of me, I sat down at it, waiting for Goldguard by whistling (I still couldn't do it), twiddling my thumbs, and awkwardly smiling and waving at the guards around me. Some switched tables, others scooted away, while others seemed content with being near me.

I heard somebody's weight sit down at the table, and I looked up, expecting Goldguard. I was wrong.

"Greetings, jabberwocky." Sir Vorpal Blade said, barely withheld anger lacing every word.

My eyes widened, my instincts kicking in to tighten every muscle and give him a good smash right across the table. But he had not yet attacked me, so I was pretty much bound by the nice guy's code to keep from starting the fight.

"Morning." I replied, smacking my lips and making sure to show my fangs.

"It seems the Princess has finally released you, pity." He took off his helmet, setting it aside, polishing it with his hoof. He had worn it the entire time I had seen him before, so now i was finally getting a good view of his features. Vorpal appeared aged, yet in a refined way. His fur coat was smooth, and his features sharp. Those green eyes of his still pierced wherever they gazed, and his mane was slicked back meticulously. His horn glowed, and I found my stave floating out of its hold to hover beside him. Before I could reach for it, he snapped it out of my reach to hover overhead.

"Calm down, I'm going to give it back, just examining it is all . . ." He rolled his eyes. I huffed and reluctantly returned to sitting back down, watching him with a wary eye. He took my stick.

"Hmm . . . yes. A fine piece of work . . . Metal Storm really outdid himself. The finest oak compressed to the sturdiest of design, practically brimming with arcanite, and the dragon design was a nice touch." He gave it a test wave. "I could've been a mage you know, had the talent and the magical power."

"Interesting." I said in the most bored of tones, leaning my face against my hands. "Now just give it back."

"Instead, I preferred becoming a knight, much more glory involved." The knight continued, ignoring me entirely. "Maybe if I had chosen a different path, this stave would have ended up in my hooves instead."

"Give. It. Back."

"Tsk, tsk.Do not be so touchy, Mr. Job. I witnesses that temper of yours when we last clashed."

"I witnessed that you're a psychopath."

"Mistakes were made, words were said,"

"Swords were stabbed." I interrupted.

". . . Regardless, it's been ten years since then, enough time to let old wounds heal." With a mental flick, he set the magical weapon back in its holster.

"I just want to you to know one thing," Vorpal's disposition changed almost instantaneously, going from calm and collected to seething with a tense fury you could just feel burning the atmosphere. I looked directly into his eyes, those bright green orbs staring right through my soul.

"I will be watching you. Your every word, every movement, every infinitesimal muscle twitch, I will see. If you do anything that would threaten ponykind or any Equestrian citizen, it is within my right and duty as a knight in Celestia's Holy Order to slay thee with extreme prejudice."

He drew his face closer to mine until I could almost smell his breath, the last two words a whisper. When he had finished, he stood back up, placed his helmet upon his head and trotted off, passing Goldguard carrying two plates of concrete-gray gruel.

The guard sat down where Vorpal had been, whistling in an impressed manner. "You know Vorpal Blade?"

I nodded briefly, looking down at the plate of semi-food before me. Suddenly, I had a very little appetite.

"Impressive. Nopony knows anything about except for those high and mighty Cantelot officials. There's the occasional rumor or two about his uh . . . bedroom antics, but in all honesty, he's the best knight in the whole kingdom, heck, best weaponcaster on the planet if you ask me."

"I can believe that." I said, drawing from personal experience. I looked down again and poked at the grey slab, finding it to be somehow mushy and hard at the same time. I extended my tongue and wrapped it around the goop, pulling it into my mouth and began chewing, only to find absolutely no flavor at all, even with my hyper-sensitive tongue.

It was quiet as Goldguard ate his so-called breakfast, only the chatter of guards around us filling the room. Eventually, they all filed out, leaving only us two and the cook.

"You ready?" Goldguard asked, interrupting my daze.

"Yeah . . . sure."

We both got up, Goldguard leading the way, and left. My mind wasn't fully there as I followed behind, I kind of automatically walked like a robot would follow a command to their code or something. I had thought most of my old threats were gone. Looks like Vorpal was here to stay for a little longer.

Goldguard lead me through the streets of Canterlot, the cool morning atmosphere still present, the dew just as fresh and the sunlight just beginning to lighten the sky. Down the cobbled streets we went until we came upon an entryway, a gate in and out of the city that rested mountainside. A carriage greeted us, its towers two sturdy earth ponies who greeted us with a nod.

"We'll be heading to Manehattan by carriage, seeing as how we would have to wait until ten for the train heading there. We'll be there in an hour's time, leaving you plenty of time to investigate. We should meet up with several witnesses there, a businesspony by the name of Stock Smith. Owns a shipping company."

". . . Looks like you did most of the work for me." I leaned against the carriage. Goldguard shrugged in reply.

"In all honesty, Princess Twilight is the one who gathered all of the information. You just have to follow through with it and see what you find."

"Fair enough." I nodded.

"We ready to head off?" The unicorn asked, entering the carriage and holding the door open for me.

"Don't we have to wait for Legion?" I added, but the moment my sentence was finished, a white and furry body dropped from the sky and landed atop of the carriage.

"Fair morning, Alpha Oddjob. Shall we depart now?"

". . . Found him."Goldguard chuckled, scooting across the seat and letting me inside. I rolled my eyes, and got in. The carriage was spacious enough, but only for two people, or ponies for that matter. Legion did seem content with just chilling on the roof though.

"We're ready." The Solar Guard said to the ponies pulling the carriage. They both reared back, neighing, and pulled forward, their combined strength enough to get a good momentum going at a reasonable pace. We were off for Manehattan on a mission I didn't really want to be part of. Changelings? Detective work? A big and bustling city? Sounds like a plot to a movie or something.

The ride was fairly quiet. None of us really wanted to start a conversation, which was fine by me. I loved silence, it was somewhat comfortable to me when needed. I didn't prefer talking unless it was necessary. Like retorts, or witty comebacks, or saying nice stuff.

With only an hour to kill, I gazed out the window and just soaked up the scenery. Now this, this was nice. This was the Equestria that I wanted to see. Along the road the carriage took, we passed fields and meadows of dazzling flowers, through forests that you just knew teemed with life. The air was so fresh and clean, every breath was like a purifier for your lungs. You could even see a pegasi pony or two flying overhead through the clouds, sometimes disappearing in the cover that blotted out the blue.

"Enjoying the view?"

I turned, Goldguard awaiting a response. I nodded with a small grin. "Yeah, it's beautiful."

"What, haven't got this where you come from?"

"Where I come from . . . you can't really see most of the land."

"You haven't seen anything yet." He chuckled, leaning back in his seat, his armor rustling with a metallic sound. "Y'know what the most beautiful spot to me is in Equestria? Seeing it from on high, right from Cloudsdale. Higher than any point on the map, nearly off the planet, and you can see for miles."

I vaguely remembered my times in Las Pegasus. Wouldn't want to think about those high places and falling.

". . . I don't do very well with heights."

"A creature with wings, afraid of heights?"

I gently fluttered the back appendages, covered by the coat. They were pitifully small, and wouldn't even be able to lift me an inch off of the ground.

"Not so good at flying either. Can't fly at all really."

"Huh, you jabberwockies are weird."

"Need I remind you about your name again?" I could hear the two pulling ponies ahead chuckle.

"Let's just both agree that we are . . . 'odd' in different ways."

"Make it double for Legion." I rapped my knuckles against the roof. "A dog who should've been gone centuries ago with a thousand voices running around in his head."

"We will not engage in this conversation." Legion's many voices called overhead.

"You're weird Legion, admit it." I yelled with a laugh.

"Do you want us to admit, Alpha?"

"Yes. Your Alpha commands it."

"We are weird."

". . . The victory is kinda hollow when it comes from your weird voice . . . voices."

"Isn't that the point, Alpha Oddjob?"

". . ."

"Oh, look!" Goldguard interrupted, leaning out of his window and pointing forwards with a foreleg. "Manehattan, dead ahead! Celestia, always a sight to see."

I leaned out of my own window and smiled a bit. An entire cityscape stretched out before us, towering skyscrapers living up to their names touched the sky, the road we were on leading directly into the bustling center of it all. Well, here we were, Manehattan.

Goldguard and I got out of the carriage, while Legion hopped off the roof and landed beside me nimbly. We didn't know if our investigation would take hours or days, so the carriage was sent back to Canterlot. If we needed transport, a taxi carriage or the train system would be used.

"Alright Oddy," Goldguard said, standing beside me. "It's your show now. What would you have us do?"

I looked around, countless ponies in the crowd milling about, each to their own lives and daily schedules. Sounds of shouting, clopping hooves against sidewalk, and just city noise filling my senses. Hey, if you could make it here, you could make it anywhere . . . at least, that's what it meant in New York anyway. Did ponies even have a New York equivalent, or was Manehattan just it. The statue of a giant green liberty pony confirmed that thought.

"Well . . . we should go find Stock Smith first, I suppose."

My two comrades nodded. "Alright. Now,you wouldn't happen to know how to get there?" Goldguard asked.

". . . What? You don't?!"

"This is like only my second time here. And I got lost the first time!"

"Perhaps we should ask for directions." Legion recommended. He reached out with a paw and tapped a passing by pony on the shoulder. "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to kno-"

"Buzz off, fleabag!"

". . . They were quite rude. And angry."

"City slickers." I shook my head with a sarcastic tone in my words. "We should probably find a map or something. Gotta be a tourist trap somewhere around here that offers them."

We walked until we stumbled upon said tourist trap, a souvenir stand selling cheap snowglobes and plushies. I picked up a map, but before I could open it, the purveyor of the stand halted me.

"Uh-uh, buddy. Pay first, then you can peep at the map."

I nudged Goldguard with my elbow. "You heard 'em, pay the man."

"What? Didn't you get any royal sum or something before we left?"

"Nope. I'm as broke as a soccer player's shin."

". . ." Goldguard grumbled as he rustled about in his armor, pulling a small bag from within and tossing two coins in the direction of the awaiting hoof of the pony. He nodded at us once his bits had been received.

"Paying for this out of my own wallet . . ." Goldy grumbled and I patted him on the back.

"How about I pay you those two bits back later?"

"You'd better."

I opened up the map, and whoo boy, was Manehattan big. The districts had districts, the street names had names for the names. But just downtown, we could make out a small building . . .