When I came to, I was once again met with the taste of blood.
'Yeah. Just like high-school.'
"Fluttershy! Ah think it's wakin' up!"
The sound of a voice snapped me back to reality and I immediately noticed my hands and ankles were bound together and I was, apparantly, suspended from a particularly thick tree.
After picking at the knot I thought was holding my feet, I found myself falling backwards before finding out the hard way that the branch I was tied to was lower than I am tall.
As the top of my head scraped along the ground, my eyes watered and I momentarily forgot my predicament, shouting, "Son of a bitch!"
I immediately regretted my outburst as a pair of orange hooves filled my vision.
Looking up (which from my position was down) I saw a pony wearing what appeared to be a stetson hat.
"What in tarntion...Did you jus' speak?" it asked with what I identified as an American 'southern' accent.
Without thinking of the potential consequences, I responded sarcstically.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being too subtle?"
In response to this apparantly shocking revelation, the pony's eyes to rolled back into its head and it fell sideways.
[-]
Fluttershy wasn't too far away talking to a few of her animal friends, reassuring them that the new creature was harmless, when she heard Applejack call her.
As she made her way over, she saw the creature with its head on the ground, legs still tied to the tree, and Applejack collapsing in front of it.
Remembering what happened earlier with Rainbow Dash, she hurried over to the creature with every intention of giving it a very stern talking to.
[-]
Rematerialising outside the gate to Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight turned to her fiend and said, "Rainbow, why don't you go ge-"
"Heya, Twilight!" Pinkie interrupted, appearing out of nowhere with her usual level of excessive glee.
"Pinkie," Twilight explained, "we're kinda-"
"Oh, I know. You're here to see what the extra super interesting thing happening at Sweet Apple Acres is, riigghht?"
"Well, yes, but-"
"I knew it! I already told Rarity, so she should be here any moment now."
Having her intentions already put to action, she decided to wait for their last friend to arrive.
[-]
After a few moments of watching the unconscious pony, I realised the complication that had arisen as she fell.
...
I was hanging from a tree by my feet with no means of releasing them and had a dull throbbing on the top of my skull.
"Well, shit."
"And just what do you think you're doing?"
Turning my head to the new voice, the yellow pegasus I first saw upon arrival, I gave no response.
Not waiting for one she continued, "How dare you-"
"Lovey," I interrupted, "As much as I would love to hear the lengthy, and most likely demeaning, tirade you will probably give me, I am in too much pain and a too awkward position to actually care."
Clearly startled by my statement, she started stuttering as she tried to form a sentence.
After about a minute of this, my patience ran out.
"Just untie my feet."
"Oh, I-I don't th-think tha-"
"Please?"
"B-b-but you...," she said with a vague gesture towards the orange one.
With a slight frown, I responded, "I didn't do anything. She fainted."
"Umm... O-okay."
As she, somehow, untied my feet with her hooves, I saw four more ponies approaching from a relatively short distance. With this in mind, the second my feet were free, I rolled onto my knees and slowly stood up to my full height, eliciting an 'eep' from the pegasus beside me, drawing my attention.
Looking at the quivering mare awakened a feeling within me that was almost akin to what I remembered as an emotion, so I did my first rational thing since arriving.
Crouching to seem less intimidating, I asked, "Do you have a name?"
"I-I'm F-F-Fluttershy."
"Fluttershy... My name's Connor. Pleased to meet you."
After I finished introducing myself, I returned my attention to the ponies who were approaching and stood up again. When they got close enough to see their faces, I was able to pick out the familiar blue one, and she was pissed.
When she saw me standing, she lost it and came charging at me through the air. A few seconds before she was about to make contact, I threw my feet back and let my entire body drop, grazing my palms as she harmlessly flew over me and hit the tree head first.
Getting up again, I checked on her to see her sitting like a dog with eyes spinning in opposite directions.
Somehow acknowledging me, she said, "Both of you hold still so I can-,"
and whatever she intended to threaten me with was lost as she fell forward, hitting the ground with a small cloud of dust.
Before I could do anything else, I felt an intense pain in my left shoulder and all my muscles tense up. When they relaxed, I could tell that my left arm was numb and I felt the unpleasant 'pins and needles' sensation across my upper back.
Losing myself to instinctive aggression, I wheeled around, shouting, "What the fuck?!"
As the words left my mouth, a blast of purple energy passed my face, missing by a couple of centimetres.
Looking towards the source of the attack, I saw a lavender unicorn mare with with a myriad of thick books on the ground behind her. Her head was lowered threateningly and her horn emitting a soft glow of the same colour as the missed bolt.
Rushing at her, I quickly covered the distance between us and brought the inside of my right boot to the left side of her head, knocking her cold instantly.
When I turned to the white unicorn, who appeared to be too shocked to respond, I was blindsided yet again with a powerful kick to the back of my legs, putting me on my hands and knees.
"Whater ya are, ya leave mah friends alone! Ya hear me?"
Getting into a crouch, I spun on the ball of one foot and kicked her in the jaw using the heel of my other.
When I had both feet on the ground I noted that the one I just kicked orange one was the same one that fainted earlier and, depite the kick I gave her, she was still standing, albeit extremely unsteadily.
As she staggered in my general dirction, I took advantage of her disorientation by grabbing her head and kneeing her, putting her out of commission like her two companions.
Ignoring the white one because she didn't seem like much of a threat, I headed back towards Fluttershy, who had once again taken to hiding under her forelegs.
After a few steps, I slowed down because the adrenaline had worn off and my various injuries started to hurt, but before I could actually identify them, I was attacked from behind for a third time.
I heard a lound bang and saw streamers fly past before feeling the air pressure around me change.
As my ears popped, white spots swam in front of my eyes and motions blurred. I managed to stagger a few more steps before collapsing onto my hands and knees.
As darkness crept into the corners of my vision, I saw a yellow blob fly over to me and heard it say something, but whatever was said was lost through the ringing of my ears.
Before I slipped into darkness, two teal eyes somehow separated themselves from the chaotic blurs and, for reasons beyond my comprhension, I felt comforted.
[-]
Regaining consciousness, Twilight shifted her head enough to see Applejack fall in the wake of the creature before it started to make its way back to Fluttershy. Still too weak to act, she could only watch and assume the worst until it very obviously slowed because of injury and weariness.
Rolling off of her side, she watched it as Pinkie Pie appeared behind it and slammed her 'party cannon'. As the streamers flew past, it had the most peculiar reaction she'd ever seen.
Astounded, she thought, 'Not even the changelings could take that and not be blasted away,' as it brought its upper appendages to its head, took a few haphazard steps and fell forward.
Trying to sieze the opportunity, Twilight quickly got to her hooves, but was met with a wave of dizziness that blurred her eyes for a few moments. When her vision cleared she saw Pinkie Pie bouncing away like nothing happened and Fluttershy trying to drag the creature away.
Calmly walking over, Twilight lifted it with magic, and said, "I'll take it Fluttershy. It can't hurt anypony else if its held in magic. Where were you taking it?"
"To my cottage. But Twilight, I-"
"Your cottage? That's brilliant! If we take it there we won't have to worry about sending the whole town into a crazed panic."
"I guess, but I jus-"
"Don't worry. I'll go ahead and set up. You can tell the others when they come to."
And with that the rope from earlier floated over and vanished with Twilight and the creature in a bright flash.
"I wanted to talk to it a little," Fluttershy told the empty space befoe turnig her attention to Rainbow Dash, who was groaning and mumblinging in her half-conscious state.
[-]
After appearing inside Fluttershy's house, scaring several small animals in the process, Twilight bound the creature's upper and lower limbs and placed the rope behind its claws on a vacant ceiling hook, that was probably intended for a birdhouse, and stared at it intently s it hung a few inches above the ground.
The longer she observed it, the more questions came to mind.
'What is it? Is it a new species? Is it some kind of hybrid? An escaped experiment? Where did it come from? Why does it have clothes? How intelligent is it? Is it fully grown? Why aren't its claws sharp? Are there more?'
As the last question drifted through her mind, she thought of how aggressive it was and started pacing, immediately feeling nervous and decided to get Spike to send a letter to the princesses when the others arrive.
Lost in thought, she failed to notice its eyes open.
[-]
As I came around yet again, I could feel gravity in my shoulders.
Curious, I slowly opened my eyes, looked up and down and noticed that my feet couldn't reach the floor and my hands were suspended. Turning my attention forward, I saw the purple unicorn from earlier pacing back and forth, apparently thinking too deeply to see my glare following her from one end of the room to the other and back.
Not wanting to let her know I was fully aware of what she was doing, I resolved to wait until Fluttershy returned before saying anything.
It wasn't long until the purple one stopped her pacing and looked at me, jumping back with a surprised yelp when before she gathered her senses and returned it with a vengeance.
Niether one of us were backing down and we were so keen on intimidating the other, that we didn't notice the door open and The cyan one fly in followed by the orange one, the white one and the pink one.
It wasn't until the orange one cleared her throat we acknowledged their presence.
After giving them a once-over, the purple one approached the cyan one, and said, "Rainbow, could you please go tell Spike to come here with a quill and paper for me?" while I watched Fluttershy as she crept into the room.
With a mock-salute, the cyan one flew off faster than the eye could follow and the purple one turned back to me and asked, "Can you understand us?"
"Uh, Twi?" the orange one started.
"Hang on Applejack," came the response and I smiled inwardly at the oncoming cliche.
"My. Name. Is. Twi-light. spar-kle. Can. You. Un-der-stand. Me?"
With a long sigh, I began, "You know, I find it collectively cliched, pointless and aggravting that you would enunciate your words when addressing me under the assumption I do not comprehend your speech."
Pausing for a breath, but not giving them time to respond, I continued, "If I didn't understand, the enunciation would be less than useless, because it would not make you any easier to understand and I could potentially interpret it as a cultural ocurrence when greeting."
Another breath, "And I find it aggravating because you, inadvertedly, send the message that you are attempting to superioritise yourself over me with a sub-textual implication of inferior intellectual capacity on my part."
The ensueing stunned, awkward silence was broken by a young, male voice in the doorway, that said, "Wow Twilight! That thing can use as many big words as you can."
Looking to the purple, bipedal lizard-creature that spoke, I tilted my head back slightly and grinned.
"Come outside Spike. I need you to take a letter," the purple one said with a sideways glance at me before walking out, taking Spike with her and shutting the door.
When I righted my neck, The cyan one flew up to my face and asked, "What are you? Are you an alien? Are you here to invade us? How many of you are there? what are you planning? Answer me!"
As she yelled that last line, she was surrounded by a purple aura and yanked back as the purple one walked back in.
"You're into too much science-fiction," I stated, eliciting a poorly stifled snicker from the orange one before the purple one spoke up, and a sense of seriousness entered the room.
"Why did you attack us?"
"I didn't," I deadpanned.
"You knocked out Applejack," she said with a gesture to the orange one with small hints of anger drifting into her voice.
"She struck me first," I responded in level voice.
"You kicked me in the head," she said as the anger became obvious.
Still with level tone, "Because you hit me with that bolt."
"Because you attacked Rainbow Dash!" She yelled.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I said, "No. She charged me and hit the tree before collapsing. I was simply seeing if she was okay. YOU struck first. All I did was retaliate."
As I finished, a tense silence settled over the group.
Deciding to be the one to break it, I said, "As fun as this is, could you let me down... Preferably before my shoulders get dislocated."