//------------------------------// // Public Opinion // Story: Mane 6: Faux-Friends or Foe-Fiends? // by Kunnka-Kun //------------------------------// Damn It was the afternoon and JJ was patiently typing away at his typewriter. He’d be out on the field hunting for stories, but today he was hoping that somepony might give his office a visit. Somepony who actually read his attack on the six ponies he targeted the day before. So far it looked like very few ponies cared about what he had to say. Scratch that, no pony cared for what he had to say. He was about to call it quits and go out when suddenly the front door of his office slammed open with a loud thud. In marched a lone figure. Finally, somepony angry he could talk to. And to top it all of, one of the targets he took a shot at too. In the doorway stood a white pony who had a purple mane and perhaps a bit too much eyeliner this day. Her voice definitely had a bit too much anger in it. “Mr. Byline, just what is this?!” she screamed out. A copy of the morning edition of the Daily Bugle floated with magic above her head. JJ took one glance at her and went back to his typewriter. “Well if your makeup didn’t blind you everyday, you’d plainly see that the object you have is called a newspaper” he stated calmly. This served only to make her more angry. “Of course I know what this is, what I wish to know is why it’s filled with nothing but slander!” “Libel” he stated as his typewriter rang. “What?!” “Libel. It’s called slender if it’s spoken word” he said as the ding off his typewriter went off. Rarity realized that frustration wasn’t going to take her anywhere with this brute of a reporter. “Fine. Tell me why this so-called newspaper is filled with nothing but lies” “A newspaper is only filled with the truth. And things that connect those truths. What I print is only honesty” he replied back. “Then what of this?”, she said as she levitated the paper in front of her. “I quote, Rarity knows nothing of combat or of the finer art of offense or defense, unquote” she stated with a hint of smirk on her face, thinking she had trapped JJ in his own lie. “I don’t see any lies, just the facts. Do you know how to disarm a thug? Do you know the proper way to hold a shield? Do you have the knowledge of swinging a sword or lance?” another ding on JJ’s typewriter went off. A hint of frustration flashed on Rarity’s face. “Why I never! What you printed was simply hurtful to the six of us! Let’s be civil Byline, nopony needs to hurt one another through actions or written word” she said with utmost indignation. JJ finally took his eyes off the typewriter and looked at Rarity. She was in the same situation that countless many others have been in. Trying to make a newspaper make a retraction. Whether it be politicians, concerned parents, or just someone who didn’t like what a newspaper said, they’d all run into the same iron clad stubborn attitude that all newspaper possessed when it came to retractions. The very act a retraction one signalled to readers that not enough research went into the very process of creating an informative article was not taken. Or that a newspaper was easily swayed. A newspaper’s very purpose was to inform the public of the latest news and happenings. If they were reported incorrectly, then there’d be no good reason for a newspaper to exist in the first place. A newspaper is just rags that have words printed on them, but it’s those words that hold meaning. Admitting you were wrong was the equivalent of admitting taking all that time and money to print words was all for nothing. Sure, an edition of a newspaper may correct mistakes that the previous edition made, but those were only typos. Creating a retraction destroyed any and all credibility that a news source built up in years. All those decades of work would crumble in a matter of hours. Worse still if a retraction was printed only because of pressure. The secondary purpose of a newspaper was to print things that no one else had the guts to say. It’s one thing to think that the government didn’t do its job, it’s another to outright say it. Plus your name got to be printed at the top of the article in a nice neat font. No human or pony wanted to read a newspaper that could easily be convinced to say one thing or another. If you didn’t have a solid stance, then you had no right to make contact with the pen to the paper. In the end a newspaper was only the regurgitation of yesterday’s public. Vomit that was in an easy to read format. Admitting any wrongdoing was suicidal, and caving into pressure was just stupid. “No Miss. Rarity, you’re right. There’s no need to be uncivil” he stated. Rarity was about to put on a cocky grin until JJ continued to speak. “Which is why I want you out of my office!” he shouted as he also ripped the paper out of his typewriter with one his hooves. “I will do no such thing until you print a retraction taking back all the lies you wrote on us, especially on I!” she stated as she stomped one hoof for emphasis. Both of them exchanged glares. “You have two options right now, Miss. Rarity. Either you leave my office right now, which may I add is private property, or I’ll put this in tomorrow morning’s edition!” he yelled as he held the paper in front of him. He wasn’t going to get out of his seat. If anyone was going to leave, it was going to be her. Besides, his seat was comfortable. Rarity let out a small growl and levitated the paper away from Jameson. She started to read the words. RARITY: ELEMENT OF TANTRUMS Byline, Editor-In-Chief Daily Bugle Ponyville- It was a quiet afternoon in Ponyville. The keyword is “was”. It pains this editor to inform the public that promptly in the afternoon one of the element of harmony known as Rarity bludgeoned down the door of the Daily Bugle office. Her intention of harm was made immediately clear in her bitter disposition. Her purpose, or rather what could be made clear from her anger dipped word was to threaten the Daily Bugle to retake all the words of truth that had been printed that morning. Her purpose was to withhold the truth from the fair public as well as annihilate dissenting opinions. Obviously she wishes for reality to bend to her own will., to shape and form it just as a sculptor carves a masterpiece out of a block of marble. The only difference however is that reality isn’t some slab of rock for her to cut and choose what to keep or destroy. The truth will always be revealed, it can not be hidden away or destroyed. I’m sorry to say this Miss. Rarity, but your attempt to oppresses reality has failed. Your harassment has only made me more steadfast in my defense of free word and thought. Now please leave my office. If Jameson were a lesser stallion, he would be radiating a smile of pure malevolence and sadistic joy. But he was greater than that, and so he had to settle for a small grin. If Rarity was a lesser mare, she would be grinding her teeth and have a stare that would make a manticore give pause. Which is what she did. “Humph, first Twilight’s terrible indecision, and now this” she grumbled to herself. She let out one last frustrated growl and turned around to stomp out of the office. As she left the building, the front door was manipulated by her unicorn magic and was slammed with enough force to take out a limb. And for a split second, JJ was a lesser stallion. That was until the roar of a crowd tore through his office. JJ jumped out of his seat and then the forces of gravity gave him a prompt lecture whereas Jameson was forced back to the ground in a loud thump. Jameson rushed towards the door. His newspaper always got a reaction, but never one as large as this. From the sound of it, the whole town was up in arms against him. Had his article really caused that big of an uproar? He hoped to sooth the lynch mob before anything serious would happen,. but he noticed something strange as he drew nearer towards the door. The shriek of the crowd wasn’t so much as yelling, but rather...cheering? Outside the library was a crowd of about 23 mares and one Spike. A few of them were throwing Twilight up in the air as Pinkie sang a song. Twilight didn’t seem to enjoy this activity (which was soon turning typical of her behavior), and Pinkie didn’t care in the slightest (which was already typical). “-utest, smartest, all around best pony, pony!” Pinkie sang out. “Pinkie” Twilight said as she was in mid air. Jameson got nearer towards the crowd as Pinkie continued her tune. “I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party!” she continued. “Pinkie” Twilight said flatly once again. Jameson reached Spike. “Hey, mind telling me why there’s mob trying to send Twilight to the moon?” Jameson asked bluntly. Spike turned towards Jameson and gave him a reply. “Twilight got two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala and now her friends are fighting to see who gets the extra one!” he stated. “Typical freinds” Jameson thought to himself as he rolled his eyes. Friends were people who pretended to like you but would stab your back at a moment’s notice. The world of friendships was a web of fragile alliances and one way streets. Only children and saps put any real trust into friends. The only people you should put an ounce of trust into were allies, people who actually had a mutual interest with you. Even then you should be weary of ulterior motives. It doesn’t take much for a warm smile to turn into a twisted grin. Just a few muscles and a bit of cash. There were very few people that JJ considered a real “friend”. One of them was his, or rather former, Editor-In-Chief of the Daily Bugle back home. Robbie Robertson was a hardworking man who never let dollars get in the way of honor and integrity. He and JJ didn’t always see eye to eye, but in the end they always resolved their differences. His second friend was his own secretary, Betty Brant. Always focused on the objective, and always there whenever JJ needed her. Betty had her own problems to sort out, but was a reliable worker and knew how to keep a secret and more importantly an opinion to herself. Jameson would never admit it, but another person he would consider a friend was a little known photographer by the name of Peter Parker. The kid was one of the most messy, strange, and laziest punk he knew, but damn him if he didn’t think of him like a second son. In a way, Parker reminded JJ a lot about himself. From what he heard from the idle conversations around the office, Parker wasn’t exactly the most popular kid in school. Both him and JJ were relentlessly bullied, but unlike Parker, JJ didn’t take it sitting down. If anyone in High School ever looked at him funny, they’d soon see stars. It was a shame that Parker was too big of a wimp to stand up for himself. Both of them didn’t let a bad hand in life bring them down. Jameson came from an abusive household and no one thought he’d get anywhere with a journalism career. Parker started out with nothing and was slowly building himself up. Who knows, maybe one day Parker would be the one making news instead of taking photos of it. Jameson showed his friendship in subtle ways. Occasionally he’d buy photos from Parker and not use them just to help him out a bit financially. Other times he’d give him advice that JJ wished he heard when he was Parker’s age. He saw potential in Parker, and just a speck of his past life also. Friendship was truly something should be limited only to a few individuals. If you have plenty of people that you consider a friend, then that’s only more opportunities to feel crushing betrayal and disappointment. The more trust you put in someone, the more vulnerable you are. And now Twilight was learning that lesson. In all honesty, there was nopony he really considered a friend in Equestria. Ponies to speak to to avoid insanity yes, but not anyone he’d really confide in. The less he spoke to Ponies, the less of a chance of his cover being blown. He still had a ruse to keep up. On Earth he was John Jonah Jameson Jr, the publisher of the widely read Daily Bugle headquartered in the great city of New York, New York. On Equestria he was just Byline, the Editor-In-Chief of the little known Daily Bugle headquartered in the even more obscure town of Ponyville. That wasn’t to say that JJ was worried about what would happen if the ponies found out. At worse he would be exiled about five feet from the city. The ponies were far too friendly to really harm any living being, well generally they were anyhow. There was a military, so there had to be some death in this world. However, he had yet to see any death in this world. Probably for the better. “PINKIE!” Twilight screamed out. This stopped the other ponies from throwing her up in the air. “Yes, Twilight?” Pinkie asked her, as if Twilight shouting her name was some great mystery of the ages. “ At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket” Twilight shot at the pink mare. “Wait, what ticket? What gala?” a random pony that probably had no impact on the greater world of Equestria questioned. Pinkie answered the pony who would never warrant a footnote in an elementary school history textbook. “Oh, you didn't know? Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!” This caused a feeding frenzy amongst the mares. All of them circled Twilight as if they were wolves that caught an unaware tender lamb. Greed and hunger filled their eyes as they all offered various items and services for the extra ticket. Once you had something that everyone wanted, you were suddenly everyone’s best friend. Spike ran from Jameson’s side and grabbed Twilight away from all the piranhas. They ran in one direction as all the ponies gave chase, all of them expect for Jameson. Public functions weren’t exactly Jameson’s forte. He hated people, and ponies were no exception. If it was sentient, then Jameson could hate it. Hell if it wasn’t sentient then Jameson would hate it too. He trotted his way back to his office and went to work on the old typewriter once again. Maybe a headline on how a massive riot was caused because of Twilight. Yeah, that sounded good. Then the front door of his office swung open and in came two figures, both of whom were purple, and in fact one of them was about to be JJ’s headline. They both swung the door closed as fast as they opened it and looked out the small window. Spike spoke first. “You think we lost them?” he asked. “I don’t know, but we should be safe from those crazy mares for now” she said as they both panted from fatigue. Jameson let out a not so subtle cough to alert them to his presence. Both of them spun around quickly, fearful that maybe a pony found them after all. Spike let out a sigh of relief when he realized it wasn't one of the vultures picking at their entrails. Twilight let out a small friendly chuckle. “Hehe, mind if we hide out here for a bit?” she asked. “Of Course, your friendly neighborhood reporter at your service” he said sarcastically and with a sour face. Both of them either didn’t notice the demeaning tone or didn’t care, simply just grateful for a respite from the sudden fanatical zeal for a slip of paper. They walked over to Jameson to make friendly chit-chat. JJ hated chit-chat. They spoke of how Twilight’s day went and JJ noted that she didn’t read the morning paper because she had to help Applejack out with something. Twilight told him everything about how the fight for the ticket was driving a rift between them all. Good news material. Spoke then questioned something. “Say Byline, how come you’re not interested in the ticket?” Spike asked. “And how come you’re not?” JJ questioned back. “Well uhh...it’s umm...girly?” he told to Jameson. Spike looked away from JJ as if he had something to hide. “Exactly. Mares excel at two things. One is finding ways to spend a lot of spending money, and two is finding ways to waste time” he said to Spike. Jameson wasn’t sexist by any stretch of the word, but he certainly have an opinion about anything and everything. “BYLINE!” Twilight shouted at him. Sounded like somepony disagreed with his opinion. “Don’t listen to him, Spike. I’ll have you know Byline that the Grand Galloping Gala is certainly not a waste of time. It’s filled with very important citizens of Equestria, and even the Princess attends!” she said. “What exactly is the criteria for this shindig anyways?!” he shouted at her. “First you have to...umm” her fierce tone was soon replaced with pondering. “You ever been to this Gala?” he asked her. “Well no...” “Have you even been invited to one?” “No, but that only means it’s VERY exclusive!” she said trying to defend herself. “You’re the student of the Princess, and even you weren’t invited to the gala before?” Jameson let out a little chuckle. “Maybe you’re not as close to her as you think” he said. This threw Twilight into a panic. Here eyes were like pinpricks and her breathing became erratic. She soon started to pace around the office with irregular hoof beats and started to mumble madly to herself. “Ohnowhatifyou’rerightmaybeCelistiadoesn’tthinkI’mgoodenoguh” she said to herself. Spike looked alarmed. “Twilight, are you okay?” he said worryingly. The purple mare did not acknowledge him. “ImeanifshedidthinkIwasgood,shewouldofgivenmeaninvitationtotheGrandGallopingGalabeforenow” she contiued her mad ravings. Spike tried to stop her by grasping her tail, but he succeeded only in getting dragged along as Twilight paced about. “Hey kid, you okay?” Jameson said, starting to get just slightly concerned. Again she failed to notice the presence of another being. “Snap out of it, kid!” he yelled. Jameson didn’t imagine his snide comment would lead to the total shattering of a pony’s mind. “Notgoodengouhnotgoodenoguhnotgoodenoughnotgoodenough” She repeated her mantra until eventually Jameson got tired of her ravings. He got off his seat and trotted over in front of her path to stop her. “Listen, Twilight, you don’t need other people to tell you you’re good enough. I bet the Princess thinks you’re even better than what she wanted. But even if she didn’t, you’re the only one I see who thinks you’re not good enough” he said in a calm fatherly tone. In truth he was repeating a speech he gave to his own son when he contemplated quitting football. Just replace a few names and voila, a customized confidence speech. Twilight slightly broke out of her trance and looked up at Jameson with blank eyes. Even Spike looked over from behind Twilight curiously. “You might be in a small jam right now, but if you can’t pick one and not make the rest of your friends angry, then they’re not really your friends. If they really are your friends then they’ll understand why you did it” he said. This finally broke Twilight out of her stupor. Princess Celestia’s student let out a small smile and a tiny tear drop. “Didn’t know you had it in you, Byline!” Spike said. “That's one of the most kindest things anypony has ever said to me!” she moved in to hug him. This was bad. If there was something that JJ hated even more than people, it was when they got all touchy feely with him. It just filled him with disgust. He was at an impasse. If he rejected the hug then she might fall into an even deeper despair and relapse into insanity. If he accepted the hug, then it’d be sending out the wrong signals. Sending signals that he tolerated her. Then a sudden thought came to Jameson’s mind. All he would have to do was chase her out, that way she wouldn’t have time to think about what he just did and she’d forget all about the hug. He rushed over to the window and opened it After a split second of scanning he saw the crowd of mares that were furiously searching for their prey. “HEY, WHO WANTS A TICKET TO THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA?!” he screamed out to them. Immediately the crowd screamed back as if it were the howl of a predator that just spotted a defenseless bunny. Twilight and Spike were at first confused at this sudden turn of events, but that confusion was wisely replaced with fear and just like that those two ran out the same door they came in from. The wolf pack spotted them and soon continued the hunt. JJ closed the window and went back to the typewriter. It was a somewhat enjoyable break, but there was still work to do. And now he even had some new tidbits for that work. The typewriter started to make its song of dings and rings, all the while Jameson gave it the notes for the concerto of news. INDECISION LEADS TO INTOLERABLE ACTIONS, SIX MARES TO BLAME! Byline, Editor-In-Chief Daily Bugle Ponyville- They say one things leads to another, and in this case it lead to an inferno of hate, misdirection, and riots. Last morning the newest resident of Ponyville, one Twilight Sparkle, received two fine tickets to the utterly exclusive event known famously as the Grand Galloping Gala. One of course was selfishly to herself, and the other one was up for grabs. This was when Twilight Sparkle and her five friends decided that total anarchy was okay. They all fought for control of the ticket, revealing their inner true selves as they competed to see who could break the hearts and dreams of the other four. Here’s a highlight reel of the underhanded tactics used: -Rainbow Dash, in a complete disregard for the weather regulations, opened up a hole in the sky from the rain for Twilight Sparkle during lunch. This violates the ethic and code of her position and showcases her empathy for others expect when it benefits her. Apparently any other pony caught in the rain that day was unimportant if a golden ticket wasn’t one of their belongings. -Pinkie Pie decided the best way to get a ticket was tricking a crowd of ponies into doing her bidding and not sharing any of the potential bounty. This led to mass chaos and anarchy when the truth finally leaked out. This could of been all avoided if Twilight Sparkle took charge and merely picked one of her so called “friends” to take the ticket. Instead she had the entire town of Ponyville riled up like a city of ticket scalpers. Choice isn’t always an easy thing to make, but we should be thankful to have that freedom of choice instead of sitting on it until it’s too late. Hopefully by now Twilight Sparkle has made her choice. Her last choice of not making one cost the fair town of Ponyville very dearly. It was done and ready to be printed for the morning edition. \He had his headline, and the supplementaries ready to print. Jameson let out a yawn and stretched his limbs. If he was still a human, he could easily just stretch them one by one, but in the form of a pony he was forced to curve his back and hope for the best. If there was one thing he missed about being a human, it was the fact that he really was J. Jonah Jameson. He didn’t hide who he was and he did his human things as a human. As a pony he was exactly as he was as a human. Expect he was a pony. There just seemed something wrong pretending to be something you weren’t. Well expect he really was what he was pretending to be, but that was beside the point. The greatest thing about being someone you were was that you didn’t have to follow a fake past. He was J. Jonah Jameson former Boy Scout who enjoyed boxing and photography. In his pony form he was Byline, a stallion whose special talent was reporting news and who doesn’t like to talk about his past very much. If you pressed him about it, his answers always seemed to change. Sometimes he was a reporter for a newspaper in Manehatten before he decided to start up his own paper in Ponyville. On other days he was a general store owner in Dodge Junction but one day had a mid-life crisis and turned his talents towards writing. And still on some days he was a resident of Canterlot but left when property taxes went through the roof. Just like his own paper, Jameson had trouble keeping his stories straight. But it didn’t matter, as long as nopony compared notes, he would be in the safe. It wasn’t like anypony wanted to dig into the past of another pony. He was fine as long as he stayed away from huge gatherings and ponies who had good memories. Before Jameson went upstairs to bed, he heard a knock at the door. Maybe someone decided to read the paper at night and wanted to voice his opinion in the middle of the night. JJ grumbled to himself. There were letters to the editor for a reason. JJ made a slow trot to the door and opened it. Outside was Spike holding up a scroll with a red ribbon tying it closed. Jameson was slightly confused at the dragon’s wide smile it had. “Why so happy, kid?” he asked Spike. Spike reached into his pocket...wait what. He reached into the flap of skin that was on his torso to pull out a golden ticket. He explained to Jameson about how Twilight decided to return the tickets and was rewarded with additional tickets enough for all seven of them. “Why the hell didn’t she just do that in the first place?!” he screamed internally in his mind. Then Spike outstretched the scroll to him. “And after all of that we got a letter from the Princess. It was addressed to you, so I thought I’d come over and deliver it to you personally!” he stated, excitement from receiving a ticket leaking into his voice. “Well it’s better than Ditzy delivering it” he said once again in his mind. He took the scroll from Spike and pondered giving the dragon a tip. He chose the wise action of not giving a tip and slammed the door in his face. How dare he interrupt his bed ceremonies. Still there were more pressing matters at hand, like the scroll he just received. It was made of fine parchment and the ribbon that held it in place looked handcrafted. Opening it up would feel like destroying a fine piece of art. He unfurled the scroll and out dropped a slip of yellow paper. Upon closer inspection it wasn’t yellow paper, but rather a golden ticket. JJ read the fine writing that was on the scroll. Obviously made by a unicorn’s magic. Only they could make letters seem so neat yet elegant without any mechanical help. Dear Mr. Byline, I know my dear sister has already written you an apology letter, but on behalf of all of Equestria, I would like to give our sincere apologies for the injuries you sustained. She would have written this letter for you, but she needs time to recuperate from the trials she had to endure. I would also like to extend to you an invitation for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala that will occur later in the year. I assure you it will be a very enjoyable night, and it will give my sister and I the opportunity to meet you personally. From what my student, Twilight Sparkle, has written about you, you are a very dedicated and outspoken reporter. Perhaps an exclusive interview is in order? In truth I do not know very much about you, which puzzles me greatly. I know a great many ponies directly or indirectly over my time as ruler of Equestria, and yet your name slips my mind. Surely a story or two from such a notable newspaper editor must of entranced my eyes and ears once or twice, but my memory is drawing a blank. And I can I assure you that my memory is very good. I look forward to meeting you at the Gala. I will simply not accept no as an answer. Sincerely, Princess Celestia … Damn