//------------------------------// // Don't Wish it Away // Story: Crisis of Infinite Offspring // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// Ponyville-Canterlot Railway Big Macintosh gazed out the window, watching the scenery pass by. Within the train car, the many fillies and colts slept, alongside most of their mothers. Rainbow Dash and Ditzy trotted over towards Big Macintosh and Lyra. “Seriously, big guy?” Rainbow Dash took a seat across of him, “The Princess wants to see you? What, did you have a kid with her too?” “Given how everything’s been goin’ I wouldn’t be surprised.” Big Macintosh grumbled, “Is Twilight doin’ alright?” “She’s still asleep.” Ditzy blinked, “Did she really stay up for the last three days?” “Seems like it.” Big Macintosh sighed, “This is just like that thing with th’ doll.” “I’m just surprised we were able to get everypony to come along.” Ditzy continued on. “Eyup.” Big Macintosh nodded, “Why didn’t Dinky want to come along?” “I think she’s a little upset about the whole thing.” Ditzy chuckled, “She’s not use to being a Sister.” “I reckon so. Did Carrot Top say how Sweet Wheat took it?” “Fairly well.” Ditzy shrugged, “I think Sweet Wheat always wanted a little sister, and I don’t think she really thinks of Golden Sweet as a niece.” “Huh. I suppose that’s one way ta’ think about it.” Big Macintosh frowned, “Apple Bloom hasn’t come out of her room, since Apple Jam showed up. Can’t say I blame her, though.” “Heh, that’s a hell of a thing to deal with,” Rainbow chuckled, “Hey Applebloom! C’mon down an’ be an aunt. An’ dis filly ‘ere’s yer best friends kid with me, yer older brother.” Rainbow Dash imitated Big Macintosh’s accent before bursting out in laughter. Ditzy, Lyra and Macintosh gave the pegasus a dirty look until she calmed down. “Sorry.” “I really just hope they all behave themselves in Canterlot.” Big Macintosh sighed. “Pfft,” Rainbow Dash smirked, “What’s the worst that could happen?” --- Bellona laughed in enjoyment as giant spiders made of candy chased the wealthy ponies down the street, and battled the Royal guard. Big Macintosh sighed in exhaustion as the other ponies tried to keep the fillies calm. Rainbow Dash trotted over, her face coated in embarrassment. “…Mac, I am so sorry.” Rainbow Dash smacked her forehead, “I jinxed it, didn’t I?” “…Nova, Midnight, take care of the spiders.” “As you wish Father.” “Alright.” The two alicorns took off, using their magic to immobilize one of the spiders, forcing it to explode into candy. Apple Pie, Acey Mac and Apple Cake ran up to the remains of the spider and began to stuff their mouths with the candy. “Girls, don’t do that.” Cheerilee trotted over to the fillies. “That’s right! Save some for me!” Pinkie rushed over. “Bellona! Get down here.” Big Macintosh ordered the hybrid. “But I’m having fun!” the Draconequues continued to look away from Macintosh, as Nova and Midnight bliss yanked a spider off a Royal Guardspony. “NOW.” The draconequues spun around to argue with Big Macintosh, but quickly withered under his stern gaze. “But…” Bellona feebly continued to argue as Macintosh’s frown intensified, “…Yes dad.” The draconequues landed at Big Macintosh’s feet. She continued to cower under Macintosh’s stern gaze. “What did I tell you before we left Ponyville?” “…To behave.” “An’ what are you doin’?” “…Acting like other dad.” “An’ what do you think I’m gonna make you do?” “…Other dad never showed me how to stop the spell.” Bellona looked up, “I thought it would be easier to stop.” Big Macintosh sighed, “How many did you make?” “Twelve.” “…” Big Macintosh turned to Rainbow Dash, “How many are left?” “One! But it’s a big guy!” Dash dodged a shot of licorice silk, “Twilight’s still out of it, and I don’t think Nova and Midnight are enough to beat it!” “What about th’ others?” “Lyra and Applejack are doing what they can and Fluttershy’s…” Rainbow Dash glanced off in another direction, “Hiding from it.” “Well, we just gotta keep trying unti-” The final candy spider exploded into a show of powdered sugar and candy. “…Good work.” “Wasn’t us, big guy.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Nor was it us, father.” Nova and Midnight Bliss touched down next to him. “Don’t look at me dad.” “Look!” Mrs. Cake pointed up. Every pony turned to look in the direction she pointed at, as two alicorn fillies landed. The first filly’s mane was striped with gamboge, pink and blue, and her coat was pure white. The second filly’s mane was dark violet with streaks of rose and gamboge, and her coat was a shade of salmon. “Father.” The white alicorn bowed, as the other followed suit. “…Mac, You know I was kidding when I said that, right?” Dash nudged the stallion. “I know.” Bellona, Nova and Midnight Bliss landed next to Big Macintosh, and stared at the new alicorns. “…Oh no…” Bellona groaned in terror and pain. The draconequus mimicked stabbing a blade into her gut and fell over, groaning. “More of them.” The four Alicorns stared at each other in silence, before Midnight Bliss smiled. “Sisters?” The two new alicorns exchanged a quick glance, before nodding. “I am Idun, and this is Fantasia.” The white alicorn motioned towards the pink one. “I reckon so.” Big Macintosh sighed, “Lemme guess, your mom is Princess Celestia and her momma is Princess Cadance, right?” Big Macintosh waited, as Idun and Fantasia nodded in agreement. “Thought so. Now don’t get into any fights with Nova, Midnight Bliss or Bellona, alright?” “Of course. Mother wishes to see you in the castle,” Idun smiled. “Well, let’s get goin’ then,” Big Macintosh turned his attention towards everypony else, “Everypony ready to go?” The group nodded and gave murmurs of confirmation, as Big Macintosh turned his attention back to Idun and Fantasia. “Lead the way.” The Royal Castle Throne Room The guardponies pushed open the doors to the throne room, as Idun and Fantasia lead the procession of ponies. Princess Celestia looked up from a scroll, and smiled. “I see you all made it here in one piece.” The princess stood and motioned to the guards, “Please leave us alone.” The guards nodded and pulled the doors shut. Princess Celestia stood up and trotted over to Big Macintosh. “Big Macintosh, correct?” “Eey… Yes, your majesty.” Big Macintosh quickly corrected himself. A sly smile crept onto Celestia’s face, “Now, now darling, there’s no need to be so formal.” The princess’s smile grew as Big Macintosh’s face flushed with embarrassment, and the fillies behind him giggled. “Um… Princess Celestia?” Ditzy Doo uncertainly stepped forward, “Where is Princess Luna?” “My sister shall arrive here shortly with Princess Cadence and Shining Armor,” Princess Celestia’s smile turned from one of amusement to one of embarrassment, “The… other two are a bit of a hoofful.” “Other two?” Big Macintosh echoed, “…Oh, don’t tell me…” “Indeed. Idun and Fantasia are not the only ones here.” Princess Celestia looked over Big Macintosh at some of the fillies, “Ah, so that is why we couldn’t find Luna’s child.” “Eeyup, both of them,” Big Macintosh nodded. “Two children?” Princess Celestia pouted, “Why do I only get one, but you and my sister have two?” “Well…” Big Macintosh shifted the weight on his feet, “Technically one o’ them’s from a universe where I’m a mare, an’ Princess Luna’s a stallion.” Princess Celestia blinked in surprise at the stallion’s statement, “Interesting.” Another door opened, as Princess Luna and Shining Armor entered the room. Luna appeared greatly amused, as Shining’s face remained a mask of unhappiness. Princess Cadence followed the two, gently urging somepony else to enter before her. A red unicorn filly with a blue streaked mane trotted in. Cadence looked back. “You too, come on now, don’t worry.” The princess coaxed an unseen pony on. A timid dark grey unicorn filly with a flowing, smoke like black mane streaked with red and purple mist leaking out of the sides of her eyes, trotted into the room and hid behind Cadence. “She’s very shy,” Cadence apologized to Celestia and the others, “I’m not sure what I can do about it.” “That is quite alright. Girls, why don’t you go and speak to your father?” Celestia nudged the fillies. “…Geh,” The grey filly sulked over towards Big Macintosh and sat down by him. She looked up at Big Macintosh and finally managed a smile, “Daddy?” Big Macintosh returned the filly’s smile, “Eyup.” The other filly bounded over, and hugged Big Macintosh. “Daddy!” “Erm… girls, don’t you think you should tell him your names?” Lyra edged them on. “I’m Oaken Shield!” the red filly beamed, “My mom’s Radiant Shield!” “…” The other filly looked down, “Princess Oscura.” “Alright,” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the others, “Line up an’ tell th’ princesses your names.” The other sixteen fillies and colts scrambled around and began to push and shove each other trying to get first in line. “AHEM,” Big Macintosh coughed, “I ain’t gonna tell you again. Line up nicely.” The colts and fillies stopped scrambling and quickly lined up in front of the princesses. “I’m Sparkling Cider and My mom’s Princess Twilight Sparkle.” “I’m Scarlet Tornado and my mom’s awesome! And Rainbow Dash.” Scarlet Tornado quickly added. “Golden Gem, and my mommy’s Rarity.” “I’m Apple Pie!” “…Garden Royal.” The pegasus mumbled. “I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CENTER STAGE!” Center Stage reared up, only for his fireworks to sputter and fizzle. The colt blushed furiously as the other fillies giggled, and Princess Celestia let an amused smile creep onto her face. “Golden Sweet. My mom’s Carrot Top.” “Acey Mac!” “Apple Cinnamon. Mom is Spitfire.” “Apple Jam an’ my mom’s Sweetie Belle.” “Carson Apple an’ my mom’s Ditzy Doo.” “Prince Novamac, son of Princess Luna.” Nova bowed, as Luna’s expression changed from boredom to astonishment. “Bellona. Other Dad is Discord.” She yawned. “Stratos. My mom’s Cloudchaser.” “Apple Cake, my mom’s Cup Cake-Apple.” “Princess Midnight Bliss.” The alicorn also bowed, “My father is Prince Erebus, ruler of the night.” “This explains why there was no child for Luna,” Celestia giggled. “Sister, this is hardly a humorous matter,” Luna chided the other alicorn, “Twenty children that do not belong here and no way to send them back to their homes.” “Indeed,” Celestia regained her composure, “Where is Twilight Sparkle?” “Sleepin’ your majesty,” Big Macintosh flushed with embarrassment, “She, uh…stayed up for a couple o’ days tryin’ ta’ figure out how ta’ solve this.” “And?” the princess of the sun pushed on. “Her plan involved buildin’ a giant catapult an’ launchin’ them into space.” Big Macintosh sighed. The three princesses blinked in confusion, before bursting out into laughter. Shining Armor rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hooves. “Ah,” Princess Celestia finally got herself under control, “I haven’t laughed that hard in years.” The Princess cleared her throat before continuing, “While I am glad my student has made a valiant effort, but… she should not be afraid to admit she does not know how to do things.” “But Princess Celestia!” Twilight uneasily stood up and trotted forwards, “I-” “Twilight,” the alicorn looked firmly at the unicorn, “I can say without any doubt, that you are one of the most talented magic users I have seen, but even you have limits. There is no shame in asking for help. Big Macintosh, would you kindly follow me?” “Yes, your highness.” The Princess and the farm stallion trotted off to another room. The throne room fell into uneasy silence, as Oaken Shield trotted up to Twilight Sparkle. “Aunty Twilight? How come mom’s a guy?” Twilight blinked in confusion, “What.” “Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Luna interrupted Oaken Shield’s response, “As best we can tell Oaken Shield is from another universe where it appears some of the genders of ponies have been switched, while others have stayed the same. For instance, Oaken Shield has mentioned male Applejack and‘Applebud’ as Big Macintosh’s siblings.” “And who is… Oscura, is that right?” Twilight looked at the grey unicorn, who simply nodded in agreement, “Oscura’s mother?” Princess Luna’s gaze flickered to the ceiling before returning her gaze to the unicorn, “I am not at liberty to inform you of her parentage, Twilight Sparkle. It is a matter that is out of my hooves.” --- Princess Celestia and Big Macintosh stopped in a room filled with books and mirrors. The farm stallion glanced at one of the mirrors, only to realize that no reflection stared back at him. “Yer Highness, can I ask what this is?” “Big Macintosh, how do you think these foals got here?” the princess ignored his question. “I had a theory that they’re part'a a parallel universes that crossed over at a certain point,” Big Macintosh scratched the back of his head, “But Lyra pointed out it don’t quite work out.” “I see,” the Princess turned her attention to one of the mirrors, “You are very close. Alternate universe are… irregular. Because they operate on alternate frequencies than our universe, any crossover between them is unpredictable.” “So it can allow time travel?” Big Macintosh responded, suddenly understanding. “In theory,” the Princess answered, “I must speak to some of our experts on that. In this case, twenty cases of apparent time travel are beyond what we would expect.” “But how does this affect getting ’m back home?” “Because each one has a ‘dimensional frequency’ that is nearly undetectable. Sending the wrong pony to the wrong dimension can have catastrophic effects,” Celestia turned to Big Macintosh, “Our dimension is a sort of ‘catch-all’, which allows any pony to stay here.” “I see.” The earth stallion fibbed. “It’s quite alright if you do not fully understand it, Big Macintosh,” the princess chided him, “Even ponies who have made it their life’s goal to understand it do not fully understand.” Princess Celestia turned around and headed towards the door, “Come, I need each of the foals here to send them to their home dimensions.” “Eyup.” The two ponies trotted out of the room and back to the throne room. “Alright, you all listen up,” Big Macintosh ordered, “We figured out how to send you all home.” The foals began to mumble to one another, discussing something. Sparkling Cider trotted forward. “What if we don’t want to go?” “…That ain’t an option, Cider.” “But I wanna stay here!” Scarlet Tornado stomped her foot. Several other foals echoed her sentiment. “Kids…” Big Macintosh sighed, as the foals grew louder, “Kids…” The stallion stomped his foot, “ENOUGH.” The foals were quickly shocked into silence as Big Macintosh glared at them. “Look, I don’t want to see you go either. But you have to remember, your dads and your moms are worried sick about you, and I don’t think it’s fair to them if you get to stay here.” Scarlet Tornado opened her mouth to argue, only to close it as Big Macintosh glared at her. “This is what’s right,” Big Macintosh sighed, “I am not your dad, or your mom, and neither are any of the ponies here. What I want is you all to be with the ponies that do love you, understand?” “…Can we say goodbye?” “Of course.” The foals spread out, going to their mothers. “Bye kid.” Rainbow Dash hugged Scarlet Tornado. “Bye mom.” “Next time, can we make even more cupcakes?” Apple Pie asked Pinkie Pie. “Of course we can!” Pinkie beamed back. “…Next time can we make a dress?” Golden Gem smiled. “Certainly darling.” Rarity hugged the filly. “Dad?” Bellona, Center Stage, Apple Jam, Apple Cinnamon, Stratos and Oscura trotted up to their dad, “Can we get a hug?” “Sure.” The fillies and colts embraced Big Macintosh and were soon joined by the other foals, engulfing him in a mass of ponies. “Alright my little ponies, it’s time to go,” The princess smiled, “Please follow me.” Princess Celestia lead the fillies into the other room, as Big Macintosh left the throne room. Lyra trotted after him. “Mac, aren’t you going to say good bye?” Lyra pushed on. “I can’t.” “What do you mean you can’t?” Lyra caught up to the stallion and grabbed him, “You sh-” Lyra trailed off as Big Macintosh turned to look at her. The stallion sniffled and wiped away his tears. “I can’t.”