//------------------------------// // II: Crazy Meets Crazy // Story: Friendship is Drama // by HipsterShiningArmor //------------------------------// Bridgette was understandably pissed. This wasn't the first time she was stranded in the middle of nowhere. She still hadn't forgotten about Blaineley's attempt to get rid of her, dropping her in the middle of Siberia and leaving her stranded to die. But it doesn't really matter how many times you find yourself waking up in a strange place that you've never seen before, with no one that you know around you (hell, she was in that situation enough times before Total Drama, albeit on a much less catastrophic scale,) that never really makes it fun. And speaking of fun... "Hi there!" Bridgette heard a voice shout. It was a somewhat high-pitched, bubbly, and feminine sounding voice, not too dissimilar from Katie and Sadie. Bridgette woke up from the semi-slumber she was in prior to hearing the voice, and looked around to find the girls. But Katie and Sadie weren't there. As a matter of fact, no human being was there at all, all there was there was a pink equine-like being. And yes, it was pink. Very, very pink. "Um- did you say that?" Bridgette asked. She was pretty sure that it wouldn't respond, but she couldn't see anyone else in sight, so it was worth a shot, right? "Of course it was me, silly," the pink horse said happily, "Who else would it be? There's no one else here." "Right- that makes sense I guess," Bridgette said sheepishly. "My name is Pinkie Pie," the horse said, "Welcome to Ponyville, new friend." "Ponyville?" Bridgette asked, "Is that what this place is called?" "Depends what you mean by place," Pinkie said, much faster than normal speech, "You see, right now you're standing right outside Sugar Cube Corner, which is the bakery where I work, live, throw parties. Ponyville is the wonderfully amazing city where me and all my friends live. It's a totally fantastic place and I'd love to take you on a tour sometime. If; however, by place you mean this entire land, then it's called Equestria." Squee. Bridgette raised an eyebrow, "You done yet?" "Yup." "Okay then," Bridgette said, "Well, I'll just be going then." "Wait!" Pinkie shouted, "You can't go yet, you haven't told me anything about yourself. In fact, I don't even think you've told me your name yet." "How do you know I haven't told you already and you just forgot?" Bridgette said. "Silly billy, I know everything about my friends. I think I'd know if you told me your name." God, was she annoying. Bridgette understood that she was at least trying to be nice, but that didn't make her any less irritated. Perhaps the rushed declaration of the two of them being friends could be passed off as something normal in their culture that just didn't translate well, but there was no excuse for her ADHD-inspired ramblings. Still though, if all ponies were like this, and this was going to be the stuff she'd have to put up with as long as she was stuck here, then she might as well do her best to cooperate. "Okay," Bridgette said, "My name is Bridgette Collins. I am a human being from the planet Earth. I'm not sure how I got here, or why I'm here, or if any other humans are here." "Well, Bridge-" "It's Bridgette," the girl corrected. "Oh, sorry. I'm guessing you get that a lot." Actually, she didn't, but Bridgette decided it was better to go along with it. "Anyways, Bridgette, I don't know about those first two questions, but I can answer the third one. There's a redheaded human who showed up around the same time you did." Bridgette was genuinely curious, "Do you know where she is?" "She's with my friend Rarity. They're having lots and lots of fun." "That's amazing," Bridgette said emotionlessly. "Hey, are you okay?" Pinkie asked. Don't get mad at her, Bridgette told herself, It's not her fault your in this situation. "Well, I'm in a strange land I've never seen or heard of before, populated by a species that I didn't even know existed before today; and I have no idea how I got here, why I'm here, or most importantly, how I get back, meaning that I may never see my friends and family again. Other than that, just peechy." Bridgette sat down, somewhat relieved and exhausted from her mini-rant. "I see..." Pinkie said thinking, before her face lit up, "You know what you need? A welcome party! I'll start planning right now, it'll be the best welcome party ever!" "Thanks," Bridgette said. Yeah, the prospect of a party didn't cheer her up nearly as much as Pinkie hoped, but at least Bridgette thought that, if there was a party, she would be able to drink away her problems. Interrupting Bridgette's train of thought was the arrival of another pony, except this one was blue, with rainbow hair, and for some reason, had wings (we already did this joke, so I'm not going to repeat it.) "Oh, hi Dashie!" Pinkie shouted happily. "Hi Pinkie Pie," Dash said, "I see you met another one of the humans." Others? Bridgette wondered, how many of us are there? "You did too?" Pinkie asked. "Three of them," Dash said, "They were jerks. Well, two of them were jerks, the other one might have been dead." "You wouldn't happen to know their names by any chance, would you?" Bridgette asked. "Gwen, Courtney, and uh, the third one was a flower... Heather, that's it." And for the first time since arriving in Ponyville, Bridgette breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. Okay, most of her problems were still present, she was still in a strange land she knew absolutely nothing about, but at least there would be people she knew here. Granted, not necessarily people she liked, but people she knew. And it's not like they were all bad either, she was friends with Gwen, Courtney was tolerable in small doses, and Heather had definitely mellowed out since they first met. Granted, she went from a full-on sociopath to simply being a bitch, but it's a start. (Technically, Dash never actually said it was that Gwen, Courtney and Heather, but who the fuck else could it be)? "Do you know where they are?" Bridgette asked. "They're at Fluttershy's house," Dash said, "Um- I'm guessing you have no idea where that is." "I have no idea who that is," Bridgette said. "Right," Dash said, "Come with me and I'll take you to them. It's probably best if we leave now anyways, ponies are beginning to stare." Bridgette looked around, and saw that, while there wasn't a huge crowd or anything, there were several ponies who were stopping and looking curiously at the newcomer. Before Bridgette could say anything else, Dash picked her up bridal style. "Pinkie, you check on Rarity, make sure she's okay," Dash said, "Alright, let's go!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Giddy up, Tyrone!" Izzy shouted. "My name is not Tyrone," the white horse protested, "My name is Rarity, and I'd appreciate if you didn't sit on me and try to ride me like I'm a four-bit whore at a brothel, I am a lady, and-" Izzy stuffed a makeshift bit into Rarity's mouth and around her snout, and then seemingly out of nowhere pulled out a whip, "Less talking, more riding." Much to Rarity's dismay, this was mostly how the entire afternoon went, with Rarity's dignity being offended in every way humanly possible, and Izzy either completely oblivious to the fact that she was a sapient being, or simply not giving a shit about it. More likely the latter. And then, of course, there was the nickname, Tyrone, which Izzy decided to give to Rarity because she thought it was "ironic." While Izzy was riding her around her lawn, Rarity was doing everything she could to get Izzy off. This, of course, meant getting her fur and hooves dirty, but she figured it was better to be dirty than it was to be under the control of this... thing. However, it was to no avail, as Izzy held onto her coat with a vice-like grip, hurting Rarity and making some grotesque markings in the process. "Ow," Rarity attempted to complain, but her speech was obstructed. Fortunately, she soon enough got the distraction she needed. "Rarity?" she heard a high pitched, squeaky voice say. Sweetie Belle, Rarity thought, please don't see me, please don't see me. She did. "Uh... Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked, "What are you doing?" "Um..." Rarity tried to answer, but Izzy responded first. "Oh my God," she said, her face lighting up, "Tyrone Jr!" She mercifully got off Rarity and went to go look at the new arrival to Izzy's carnival of psycho. This, however, didn't sit well with the older sibling. "She looks a little small to ride," Izzy said, "But maybe I could use her as some kind of-" "Leave my sister alone!" Rarity shouted, and head-butted Izzy, hoping it would knock her out. It didn't. "Ooh, this pony likes to play rough. Alright Tyrone, let's play rough." Izzy then got back up, tackled Rarity, and the two of them rolled... directly into a large patch of mud. The now bit-less Rarity groaned. Izzy smiled. "Rarity, are you and her..." Sweetie Belle began to say. "NO!" Rarity shouted, trying to get up from under Izzy, who was surprisingly strong for someone that looked like a twig. "What exactly is she?" Sweetie Belle asked again. "I'm not sure, but she appears to have a weird obsession with white things and being dirty." "So, she's a black guy?" Sweetie said. And now, awkward silence. "Well, that was..." Izzy started. "Unnecessary." Rarity completed the thought. Sweetie Belle went from having the cutest look on her face, to looking dejectedly heartbroken (but still cute,) when she found that her big sister didn't like her joke. "Okay, I'll just... go now..." Sweetie Belle said, looking like she was about to burst into tears. Rarity glared at her tormentor. "Wait, what even is a black guy?" Rarity asked. "Let's put it this way, what Sweetie Belle just said is one of the most racist things I've ever heard. And I've watched Fox News." "Ah, I get it. Wait, what's Fox News?" Fortunately, before more awkwardness could occur, Pinkie Pie, who has we all know, is the absolute master of making things not awkward, showed up. "You two having fun?" Both of them answered simultaneously, although their answers were vastly different. "Pinkie, could you please get this harlot off of me? She's making me very uncomfortable- not to mention absolutely disgusting." "So, what you're saying is that you need an adult?" Pinkie teased. "Yes, yes, you are an adult, never heard that one before," Rarity deadpanned, "How about a little help here?" Pinkie rolled her eyes and trotted over to Izzy. "As much as I hate to be a party pooper, you should probably stop assaulting my friend." "She looks find to me," Izzy said, pointing at the bruised and refuse-covered pony, who was clearly not fine. "Well, either way, Dash wanted me to find you and bring you to Fluttershy's house." "Sounds good," Izzy said, "Bye Tyrone!" "Actually, Rarity should probably come too." "I will be there eventually," Rarity said, "Just let me go... towel off." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back at Fluttershy's house, four human girls and two ponies were waiting around. Some were being more patient than others. "Why are we still here?" Heather complained, "Is this like a quarantine or something?" "Yes, we're being trapped here to make sure your bitchiness doesn't spread to the noble civilians of Equestria," Gwen said. Heather looked like she was going to smack the goth girl again. "Well how am I supposed to fucking know?" Gwen said, "I'm just as clueless as you are. Go ask Rainbow Flash or whatever the hell her name is." Heather noticed the two pegasi (as she had since learned that they were called,) essentially standing on guard. For what, she wasn't quite sure. "Dash," she yelled, "Why are we being kept here?" "Haven't I already explained that to you?" Dash yelled back. "Not really," Bridgette interjected, "You've said that we had to wait here but you've never said what we're waiting for." Rainbow Dash flew over to the bridge to get closer to the girls o they didn't have to scream, at each other from 50 feet away. "Okay," Dash said, "We're keeping you here for the moment until we have all of you here, as well as getting all of the Elements of Harmony here so we can decide what to do with you." "What to do with us?" Heather asked. "Well, you don't seem like a hostile threat, so we probably won't have to use the Elements of Harmony on you, but we're still not sure how exactly to integrate several members of a completely different species who are from what seems like a completely different universe into the Ponyville community. We should probably send a letter to Princess Celestia, but we need Spike to do that, and he's at Twilight's house." "So, why don't you just go get this 'Spike'?" Gwen asked, "And what exactly are the Elements of Harmony? They sound kind of important." "Again, Twilight is the walking encyclopedia of the group, not me," Dash said, "I'm sure once she gets here she'll be more than happy to tell you anything your heart desires." "Do you really believe that?" Fluttershy whispered. "Probably not, but it'll get them to stop asking me questions, won't it?" Dash replied, "Anyways, if you want to know why you're specifically being kept here, it's because it's just easier to group here because that's where three of you already are. That, and the fact that not a lot of ponies come around here, as it is right next to the Everfree Forest, so hopefully we won't cause any mass Hysteria." "Unfortunately, that's kinda already happening." Dash looked around to see that Izzy and Pinkie Pie had suddenly appeared on the bridge. "When did you- never mind. Izzy, right?" "Yup," Izzy said, and reached her hand out for Dash to shake it... only to quickly realize that she wasn't sure how the mechanics of that were supposed to work. Pinkie continued with her train of thought from earlier, "A couple ponies saw Bridgette outside sugar cube corner, and several more saw Izzy when she was assaulting Rarity, so while no one's burnt down any buildings yet, a lot of ponies are more than a little curious as to what's going on. "Wait, you were assaulting Rarity?" "Not too badly, she just completely ruined her coat." Dash laughed, "That's actually pretty funny." "Um, Dashie," Fluttershy said, "Don't you think we should focus on the bigger issue right now?" "Yeah, yeah, you're right," Dash replied, "Where is Rarity anyways?" "She's just cleaning off. She'll be here once she's done with that." "Although knowing Rarity, that'll probably take her a year and a half," Dash said. "Touche," Pinkie said, "Anyways, Twilight and Spike are still back at their house." "I should get them then," Dash said. "Don't you need to stay here, and, um, make sure that the humans stay here?" Fluttershy asked. "I'm sure you and Pinkie can handle it," Dash said, "And besides, Rarity will be here soon anyways." "What about Applejack?" Pinkie asked. "Oh yeah, I guess we should get her too," Dash said, "Pinkie, why don't you do that?" "Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie said happily. Dash and Pinkie departed to get their companions. This, however, left Fluttershy all alone with the humans, and it had becom rather clear to them that Fluttershy's name was pretty accurate. "Um... girls, I would really appreciate it if you, um, didn't leave," Fluttershy said, not really convinced of her own effect. But while Fluttershy was concerned about making sure that the girls didn't flee, Twilight was having some problems of her own. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the library tree, Twilight was reading in her room, while Spike, giving up on trying to catch some extra Z's, was just chilling around the house, when they heard a knock on the door. Spike, being closer, and also being, well, Spike, opened the door. But instead of finding one of Twilight's friends or another pony, he instead found something else entirely. Spike wasn't entirely sure what to make of this creature. Unlike a pony, it walked upright, with two of its appendages hanging loosely at its side. However, it definitely wasn't a dragon either, as scales or a tail was nowhere to be found. In fact, it didn't really look like it had a lot of fur either, as its body was mostly covered by flesh, and the only abundance of hair was on the top of its head. It also had two large mounds of flesh in its chest area. And Spike wasn't sure why, but he liked that. He really liked that.