//------------------------------// // Episode 13: To Prove Their Pony Worth, They'll Overthrow the Earth // Story: Harpflank and Sweets: Season 1 // by RTStephens //------------------------------// HARPFLANK AND SWEETS Original story and concept by Arcainum Opening Titles Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 13 - To Prove Their Pony Worth, They'll Overthrow the Earth Scene 1 “YOU HAVE FAILED ME AGAIN, TRIXIE!” Two juvenile unicorns winced. Even through the heavy bulkhead that led into Luna’s chambers, Her Royal Supervillain Voice could be heard and felt. The pair could only imagine what it was like for the Great and Powerful Trixie on the other side. “Her Highness sounds really angry today, Snips,” the tall, lanky unicorn said. The smaller, stout unicorn gulped and nodded his head. “Yeah, Snails. This one won’t end well.” “IT HAS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS SINCE WE STARTED OUR ATTACK UPON THIS CITY AND YET IT STILL STANDS! REPEATED FAILURE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! NOW GO, AND BRING BACK THE HEADS OF THOSE THAT WOULD OPPOSE ME!” Moments after Luna’s tirade, the gigantic metal bulkhead began to rumble open. Soon, the subdued form of Trixie was revealed. Her trademark hat and cape were present though even they appeared to be sagging over her body as if to mirror her mood. Without comment, Trixie trotted past Snips and Snails and headed down the corridor. The duo gave a worried glance to each other and followed after their boss. Nopony spoke as they made their way through the underground base that made up Luna’s Empire. Hall after hall was traversed with only the sound of their hooves clopping against the metal floors and the henchponies going about their duties. At last, Trixie reached her lab and opened the triple-layered security door with a burst of magic, then headed inside. The lab was enormous, colored a sterile white to provide the least amount of distractions. Rows of cabinets filled with electronic parts lined the far wall while computer towers covered in blinking lights lay against the adjacent walls. The ceiling was high but the dangling multi-colored cords and hanging electronic screens displaying lines upon lines of code made it seem lower to the floor. A gigantic metal table was situated in the center of the lab and it was littered with drawings, prototypes of Lunatrons in miniature, and hundreds of spare parts. Despite all the equipment packed into the lab, there was plenty of room to move about. Trixie had designed the layout herself and kept it in pristine shape to best work out her designs and plans. Still staying silent, Trixie pulled down a roll of parchment from a storage shelf and walked over to an empty section of the lab. However, the moment she pressed a button on the floor, panels seamlessly built into the surface opened with a hiss. A cushion and easel rose up from the ground, followed by clicks and clacks of compartments opening and expanding, revealing dozens of art and writing implements. Trixie laid it out her parchment on the easel and sat down on the cushion. “Now then,” Trixie announced, finally breaking her silence. “Time to produce the most amazing feat of design and creativity the world has ever seen!” Snips and Snails walked up to her on either side, watching with rapt attention as Trixie levitated a pencil to the parchment and began sketching out concepts at a furious rate. “Soon, all will fall against my genius! This has to work. It will work!” Scene 2 It didn’t work. “Curse you Harpflank and Sweets! Curse yooooouuuuuuu!” Trixie lay sprawled over her work table, her hat missing and her cape sporting several rips and tears. A thin trail of smoke wafted from the tip of the curl of Trixie’s mane. At least, what was left of her mane. The unicorn villain pounded her hoof against the table, all the while shouting curses and threats against her most persistent foes. Snips and Snails stood beside her, each one covered in black splotches of ash and half of their Luna Empire uniforms ripped to shreds. They watched helplessly as their boss continued her rant, their faces downcast as they beheld the pony they looked up to the most flail about in her post-defeat anger. Finally, Trixie wound down from her outburst. She straightened up her posture and took a long, deep breath. She let it out slowly, the tension in her face gradually seeping away. “All right. New game plan. Trixie see the flaws now so it will be mere foals play to make adjustments.” Snips swallowed and raised a hoof. “Anything we can do, oh Great and Powerful Trixie?” “Yes. You buffoons stay out of my way. Trixie needs absolute silence to concentrate on what to do next.” She waved a hoof in the vague direction of the lab, even as she headed over to her easel. “Dismissed. Go do something away from me.” With that, Trixie sat down, pulled out a new piece of parchment and began to work. Her two assistants frowned, glanced at each other, and walked away. They rounded the large table in the center until they reached the end farthest from Trixie. In a hushed whisper, Snips said, “Pal, I think all these losses the past few weeks have really gotten Trixie down.” “I’ll say,” Snails replied, his gaze tracing over the table and all the scattered items on top of it. “She hasn’t been all that fun to be around lately. And she snaps at us a whole lot more.” “Yeah, and Luna’s been on her case, too.” Snips fell silent, his focus also drifting over the table. “We need to do something. Something to cheer her up. Maybe...” His eyes widened and he bounced up and down on his stubby legs. “Hey! You thinking what I’m thinking, Snails?” Snails nodded. “Yeah, but where are we going to find a herd of nerfs at this time of day?” Snips’ excitement came to an abrupt stop. “What? No! Forget whatever it is you’re thinking about. “We’re going to get the G&PT a gift! That’ll get her to cheer up. What do you say?” Snails scrunched up his brow and tapped a hoof to his forehead. “I guess that works too.” “Great! Now we just need to think of something that she’ll like.” At this, Snips rubbed his hoof against his chin. “But what could we get her?” “Well, we got all this stuff here,” Snails said and swept his hoof in a wide arc, indicating the large table full of discarded equipment. “Can’t we use that?” “Hmm, I guess you’re right. Yeah, let’s look around and see what we can use.” Scene 3 A few hours later, Snails trotted up to Trixie and gave her a tap to the shoulder with a hoof. The act startled Trixie so bad she drove her quill through the easel. “AAAHHH! My work!” Trixie exclaimed. She whirled around and smacked Snails upside the head. “Trixie thought she told you not to bother her!” Snails rubbed his sore noggin and said, “Sorry, Great and Powerful Trixie. But Snips and I want to show you something.” “Whatever it is, it can wait.” She turned back to the easel, ignoring Snails completely. Snails was never one to take a hint. “Oh, but you’ll like this. We worked really hard to make it for you.” The villainess’ eyes narrowed to thin slits as she continued to scratch her quill against the parchment. “Begone from my sight before I use you for target practise for this new Lunatron.” “Nah, I’m too thin. Snips would be a bigger target.” Trixie slumped against the easel and sighed. “You’re not leaving until you show me this stupid thing, aren’t you?” “Yep! C’mon.” He hooked his hoof around Trixie’s leg and pulled her away from her work area. She quickly slapped the offending hoof away. “This had better be good,” she grumbled. Snails led her to the large table in the center of the room. A brown tarp lay over the table now, obscuring everything underneath it. Snips stood next to it, a broad smile on his face. “We figured you were stressed and feeling down, so we made you this!” Snips grabbed the tarp with his teeth and yanked it off the table with a flourish, revealing a model of the entire city of Metropony made out of scrap metal. There were even blinking lights for the intersections and hanging globes representing the sun and moon. “Behold! Snails and I made this so you can easily plan out all your missions! What do you think?” Trixie told them exactly how she thought. “You morons!” she screeched. She ran around the table, her eyes wide with panic. “I was going to use these parts for my next Lunatron! Now they’re ruined!” She finished her loop around the table and stomped up to her cowering assistants. “You two just cost me days in finding replacements! Mistress Luna will have my hide!” “S-S-Sorry, Trixie,” Snips said while holding onto Snails for dear life. “We... we just...” “I don’t want to hear your excuses,” Trixie hissed. She leaned down, her furious eyes filling up their vision. “Get out.” “Huh? But—” “Trixie said get out!” She fired a bolt of magic at the pair, forcing them to separate. The bolt slammed against the floor, leaving a smoking batch of burnt metal between them. For once, Snips and Snails took the hint and ran for the door as fast as they could. They continued to hear Trixie’s angry ranting until the lab door hissed closed behind them. Scene 4 “Well, that was a dud.” Snips and Snails walked the streets of Metropony, their gait slow and their heads hung low. Ponies passed them on either side, some looking back at the sorry looking colts and wondering why two kids their age should look so dejected. Snips and Snails paid them no mind and continued their aimless trot. Neither of them worried about being identified by the locals as Trixie’s underlings since they were in disguise. Meaning, they were completely naked. Without their Luna Empire uniforms, they appeared as just ordinary colts on a stroll through the city. Or at least, ordinary colts that had the air about them that their whole world was over. “Tell me about it,” Snips replied to his taller friend. “We just can’t seem to do anything right. We try to help with missions and we mess up. We try to do something nice and we get yelled at.” “So whatta we gonna do, Snips?” Snails asked. He looked down at his fellow, not looking at where he was going. “If we stay, we’re gonna get yelled at more. If we leave, we have no place—” Without warning, the door to a electronics store burst open and a white unicorn mare wearing purple shades came running out with a package in her telekinetic grasp. She looked over her shoulder and called back,  “Let’s get back to the lab and get this installed, babe!” “Don’t call me ba—” The grey earth pony following behind didn’t get to finish her response. Two inattentive unicorns crashed into each other, sending the package the white one was carrying flying into the air. The orange and white ponies crashed to the pavement, their eyes swirling in a comical manner. The white one recovered first, only to watch as her package smashed onto the sidewalk. The sound of something inside cracking reached her ears. The white unicorn’s eyes widened to the point where they expanded beyond her shades. With a grunt of effort, she shoved Snails away and ran up to the package. Gingerly, she picked up the brown bag and gasped as several pieces of computer circuitry fell out, scattering against the ground. “Mah... my... my invention...” she breathed out, shock filling her voice. She stared at the pieces littering the sidewalk, unmoving. The grey mare walked up to her and laid a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder in sympathy. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat. “We can just buy another one, you know.” The words were enough to galvanize the unicorn out of her stupor. She whirled around and marched over to the worried looking orange colt that had caused this mess and thrust her snout into his. “What’s the big idea?! Why don’t you watch where you’re going!” Snails gave a low whimper, his legs shaking uncontrollably. “S-S-Sorry. I didn’t mean too!” The grey mare suddenly came between the two and gently pushed her unicorn companion away. “Vinyl, it was an accident. You weren’t looking either.” “But Octavia!” Vinyl cried. “We needed that part and the commander has been tight with our budget lately. If she sees we racked up another charge on the card, who knows what she’ll do!” “Probably weep and moan and then eat a muffin,” Octavia said evenly. “Just like she always does.” Vinyl shook her head. “I say we get him to pay for it. I’m not willing to chance the commander getting her hooves on the cannon again.” “I think you’re overreacting...” “Am I?! You know how she gets when—WHAT?!” Vinyl turned sharply at the colts poking her in the side. Her jaw nearly hit the floor and her shades came askew at what they held before her. Hovering in front of her by a light green aura was the computer part she had been ranting about. However, it was now all in one piece and looked to be in proper working order. “Um... I think we fixed it,” Snips said, giving the older unicorn a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I hope this means you’re not mad at us,” Snails, the one levitating the part, added. “Uh...,” Vinyl stated eloquently. She took hold of the part in her own magic and turned it over, inspecting every detail. Her trained eyes quickly determined that all the pieces were in their proper place and soldered on even more securely than before. She lowered the piece and slipped her shades off to stare at the pair of colts before her. They each gave nervous grins up at her, their eyes pleading to be let off the hook. The two wilted when Vinyl grinned at them, showing off rows of white, gleaming teeth. “How would you two like a job?” Scene 5 ExTech, the branch of M.A.R.E. responsible for developing all the equipment and gadgets to counteract the Lunar Empire. Snips and Snails were quite literally in the heart of enemy territory. Or should that be home territory now? The two colts had found themselves readily agreeing to Vinyl’s offer, much to their surprise. The chance to get away from Trixie’s ungratefulness and start a new life with the other side seemed too good a chance to pass up. Surely, these ponies would be more understanding and less judgemental. They were the good guys, after all! “So, there’s the heat resistant shield test room,” Vinyl was saying, pointing a hoof over to a door with the appropriate sign. She walked down the brightly lit hall, Octavia at her side and Snips and Snails following after them. She pointed her other hoof to a door on the opposite side of the hall. “There’s the quantum flux acceleration room. And over here we test the chewing quality of all types of muffins.” “You test muffins?” Snips asked, quirking an eyebrow. “It’s the commander’s pet project. Don’t ask.” The four ponies continued on their way, Vinyl and Octavia acting as tour guides for the new recruits, pointing out all the major landmarks as they went by them. The colts were particularly interested in the open food court, but Octavia insisted they remain on schedule and moved on. Soon, they reached an office door marked with Vinyl and Octavia’s names and went in. Inside, half the room was cluttered with gizmos and whirring motors of every size while the other had a single desk with a computer that appeared well kept. “There, now you know the place,” Vinyl said and walked over to the junk littering the floor while Octavia headed over to the computer. The two scientists rummaged around their respective work areas, grabbed a stack of papers and brought them over to Snips and Snails. “Might as well jump right in. Help us finish up these work reports and then we’ll get to the real fun stuff!” “Uh, okay,” Snips said and took the offered papers from Octavia in his magic. Snails did the same with Vinyl’s stack. Octavia pointed towards a set of tables near the office entrance. “You can work over there,” she said. With that done, she trotted back to her computer and began typing at a furious pace. “Yep, just ask us if you need help,” Vinyl added and went to her own end of the office where she started pawing through her pile of gadgets. Now left alone, Snips and Snails gave each other questioning glances. Shrugging, they set down their stacks, picked up a pen, and got to writing. Hours later, the two finally finished. Snails groaned and flopped over the table, his horn aching from holding his pen for so long. “We’re... we’re done...” “What... next...” Snips gasped. Octavia looked up from her computer and raised a delicate eyebrow. “That was certainly fast. Impressive.” “Dudes, that’s, like, a new record!” came Vinyl’s voice from somewhere underneath a pile of electronics. Her head popped up, scattering equipment everywhere and with cords dangling from her ears and horn. “Once we get those parts you filed for, we’ll be getting so much done around here.” “Yeah, about that,” Snips said, levitating his stack of papers towards Octavia. “Why do you have to fill out so many forms, in triplicate, just for a few transistors and wire cutters?” Octavia snorted. “While we are working towards protecting the city from a very real threat, we are still funded by the government. And they don’t let a paperclip go through without the proper paperwork.” “Jeez, that stinks,” Snails said. “We were given anything we asked for where we used to work.” “Oh? And where was that?” “The Luna—” Without warning, Snips lunged forward and shoved a hoof into Snails mouth, silencing him. “Ah, heh, heh. The Lu... Lu... narium! That’s where we worked! Heh. But it, ah, got a little too bossy for us so we left.” “Indeed.” Octavia scratched her chin, looking off into the distance. “I’ll have to check this place out sometime.” “Do it later,” Vinyl said as she dug her way out of her work zone. She took the stack that Snails finished and headed for the door. “Let’s get these babies processed so that we can get to the fun part!” Snips let out a sigh of relief. Keeping his voice low, he muttered, “Thank Luna. Something interesting to do.” Scene 6 “Alright boys. Heave!” With a mighty grunt, Snips and Snails pulled with all their might on the length of rope in their mouths. An engine dangled on the other side, slowing being raised by the combined horsepower of the two colts. Technicians on either side of the engine watched and waited for the delicate piece of equipment to gain enough height, then carefully pushed it into place. The engine fit perfectly into the powercore that would serve as ExTech’s source for electricity for the next two years; three if Octavia could reign in Vinyl’s more aggressive experiments. “That’s it! Let’er go!” Snips and Snails released the rope and fell to the floor, panting and gasping for breath. Vinyl Scratch came up to them, a wide grin on her face. “Nice! You two really know how to pull your weight around here.” “Thanks... I think,” Snails responded. Heaving himself to his hooves and taking a few moments to catch his breath, Snails looked up to his new boss. “Um, Ms. Scratch? Can I ask you something?” “Yeah, what’s up?” “Well, I know we’re new and all, but I was wondering when we’d get to help with the cool stuff like helping build robots or designing new weapons.” “Yeah, all we’ve done so far is help lift stuff,” Snails added. “Or do all the filing,” Snips said. “And clean out the bathrooms.” “And squeegee the main viewscreen.” “And wash that weird pegasus’ hooves.” “And—” “Woah, woah, timeout,” Vinyl interrupted, making a “T” formation with her hooves. “You saying that good old fashion maintenance is beneath you guys?” “No!” they both cried out as one. “Then what’s the problem?” “Uh... well,” Snips said and pawed at the ground. “We... uh, thought you hired us for our technical knowhow.” Snails nodded. “Like with machines and stuff.” “Oh,” Vinyl replied. She scrunched up her face and rubbed a hoof behind her head. “Well, um, that’s great and all, but we still... uh... Tavi, help me out?” Octavia started, having been content to be silent during the conversation. She blinked, a blank expression on her muzzle until she finally shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say? You’re the hired help.” Vinyl facehoofed. “Real tactful there, babe.” The two colts gaped at them, neither of them able to form words. Vinyl and Octavia were saved from any further awkwardness when an alarm sounded. All ponies in the area jerked and quickly ran to their stations. Snips and Snails watched everypony scramble with interest. “What’s that? What’s going on?” Snails asked. “That’s the alarm for trouble,” Vinyl said. “A Lunatron!” Snips and Snails gasped. They spared a look to each other, then burst out into happy grins. “Awesome, we get to see what it’s like on this side!” Snips exclaimed. “Let’s go, Tavi,” Vinyl was saying. She and Octavia turned and galloped away, towards the main control room. “C’mon, Snails! We can’t miss this.” “Right behind ya!” The pair of colts ran after the retreating forms of Vinyl and Octavia. Soon, they reached an open area where rows and rows of computer stations where kept. The head mares were already at their stations and giving instructions to the staff. Octavia donned a headset and seated herself in front of a computer panel displaying maps and other tactical data. Vinyl stood next to her with her own headset, ready to give advice when she could. Snips and Snails trotted up to them, their eyes wide and eager. “What can we do, eh?” Snails asked as he bounced up and down on his hooves. Octavia whirled on them, her expression cross. “Stay back. This is no place for you.” “But we can help,” Snips said. “We know how—” “Watch out, Sweets!” Vinyl’s cry of warning came seconds too late. On the main viewscreen, everypony watched as the Lunatron rampaging down the street managed to clip the red-clad hero with a metallic hoof, sending Sweets through a glass window. A groan could be heard over the loudspeakers, letting everypony know she was still alive but hurt. “Harpflank. Sweets is down. Get over to her before—” Again, the Lunatron was faster. Gun ports under the monstrosity’s chest opened and a large barrel slid out. The Lunatron wasted no time in firing on the helpless Sweets and reduced the building to a smoldering pile of rubble. “Sweets! Sweets, answer me!” No sound came, only static. Vinyl slammed her hoof against the counsel and yelled, “Say something!” “Phew, that was a close one.” The voice that come over the speakers was not Sweets. Instead, a masked unicorn came barreling out of a building next to the destroyed one, carrying four ponies on her back. Three were a cream, magenta, and pink color respectively, while the other was the unmistakable form of Sweets. “Harpflank!” Vinyl cried out. “Thank Celestia.” Harpflank set down the three civilians and propped Sweets back to her hooves. “C’mon partner, let’s kick some Lunatron!” “Definitely,” Sweets agreed. She shook her head and quickly dusted herself off.  “I owe it one now.” Snails reached up and poked Vinyl in the side, eliciting a yelp from the ExTech agent. “Hey, tell them that the gun needs to cool down for three seconds before—” “Not now, kid,” Vinyl said, shooing him away with a hoof. “Go find a video game to play or something. This is serious.” “But I’m telling you—” This time, Octavia acted, snapping Snails’ mouth close with both of her hooves. “Listen closely, you two,” she said, her eyes narrowed and a deep frown marring her features. “Either leave, or we’ll get security to force you to leave. Which will it be?” Snails felt a shiver run down his spine. He gulped and nodded his head frantically. Octavia tilted her head towards the door and let him go, immediately turning her attention back to the console. Snails looked down to Snips, who sighed and shook his head. As one, they turned and headed for the exit, their heads down the whole time. Behind them, they could hear more shouting and explosions but didn’t pay them any head. Once they were well away from the action taking place, Snips looked up and pointed at an elevator. A short ride later and the two found themselves at the parking garage for M.A.R.E and ExTech employees. The chaos from the Lunatron allowed them to slip out of the building without being harassed. It was two blocks away that Snails finally spoke. “Now what?” Snips didn’t answer. He kept walking ahead, taking notice of the relative calm from the citizens nearby. Harpflank and Sweets must have taken care of the Lunatron for everything to have returned to normal so quickly. Without their help. “I don’t know, Snails,” Snips said, his voice barely rising above a whisper. “It doesn’t seem like we belong anywhere lately.” “Well, why don’t we head back to the hideout?” “And get yelled at by Trixie again?” Snips countered and glared up at his friend. “Or did you forget why we left?” Snails gave a shrug. “Yeah, but at least we got to do stuff and go on missions. Being a good guy is too much trouble.” “Heh, I guess you got a point.” Snips’ mouth raised a little, forming a tiny smile. “I guess it’s the devil we know than the devil we don’t.” “What does Princess Celestia have to do with this?” “... It’s an expression.” Scene 7 “Where have you two been?” Snips and Snails wilted under Trixie’s stern gaze, unable to look her in the eye. “Um, out?” Snails offered. “And about?” Snips added. Trixie waved a hoof, cutting off any further excuses. “Whatever, Trixie does not want to hear your pathetic excuses. I have more important things to do.” Her horn lit up and a roll of parchment levitated before the two colts and rolled open. “This is our next mission. Several key spots in the city have been identified that if taken out, will cause Metropony plenty of grief. I already sent a Lunatron out to distract Harpflank and Sweets so that we can scout out these places without interference.” Her assistants looked over the plans in awe. “Wow, Great and Powerful Trixie!” Snails exclaimed. “How’d you figure all this out?” Behind the parchment, Trixie looked away, an uncharacteristic blush forming on her muzzle. “Trixie may have... found these places... with the help of that... model you made...” Snips and Snails stared at each other as wide smiles spread across their faces. Snips beamed up at Trixie and said, “You mean something we did helped you out?” Trixie quickly regained her composure and turned away. “Yes, yes, you’re all that and a bag of beans.” “Mmmm, beans...” Snails said dreamily, a thin trail of drool leaking from his mouth. “Move it, you two! It’s finally time for us to make this city quake in fear!” The two unicorns raced after her, eager to put this week’s plan into action. [ Credits roll. NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: “The stage is set. The die is cast. And now nothing can stop me!” “How did she get past those safeguards?” “AH! The goggles! They do nothing!” “This doesn’t look good, Lyra...” “EVERYTHING IS GOING EXACTLY AS I HAVE FORESEEN.” TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS ] Epilogue “Hey, Bon-bon.” “Yeah, Lyra?” “What do you want to do tonight?” “I don’t know. Probably the same thing we do every night.” The two superheroes looked at each other and grinned. As one, they leapt to their hind legs and cried, “Try to conquer the World of Ponycraft!”