This will be the last chapter for at least two or three weeks, as I've finished the Thanquol novel Grey Seer as so lock the steady dose of inspiration that got three chapters out so quickly. That and I want to focus on Justice Itself.
Enjoy the madness!
*
Lyra could not be described as merely eager. Enthusiastic was equally inadequate. Keen might indeed be accurate, if only it was a keenness likened to the edge of a vorpal blade. Desperate was also an option. She was very desperate. She looked at this new creature with a combination of thirst to learn and fascination.
"What do you know about humans?" She asked excitedly. ‘It looks more human than it does pony. Is it related to humans in some way?’ The thought gave her the jitters.
Thanquol tried to look authoritative as he stood, swiping at his eyes again as they continued to treacherously water. It wasn't suited to the image he meant to give of wisdom and knowledge. Then again, he decided giving up, his innate magnificence was sure to shine through.
"Humans, you ask?" He began with a rhetorical question, playing off his audience. "Great-wise Thanquol does indeed know much about the man-things. Oh yes, big-huge is my knowledge of them."
Her eyes seemed to come alight at the answer. "R-really?" She asked breathelessly. Lyra looked faint, as if unable to cope with the answer.
"What did I just- err, I mean, yes-yes." Thanquol answered through gritted fangs.
A squee cut through the air, piercing ear drums and collapsing souffles. Thanquol plugged his ears with his paws at the sound the mad-pony was making. Rainbow Dash's ears went flat against her head at the sound and Scootaloo pulled her helmet over hers. Ponies who had been backing swiftly from Mad Lyra covered their ears with winces of pain.
Halfway across Ponyville Bon Bon stopped what she was doing and lifted an ear. After a moment she sighed and lowered her head to press her forehead against the cool metal of the cashier.
“Oh Lyra, why?” She asked the empty store plaintively. With another much put-upon sigh she locked the cashier and trotted out, pausing only to change the sign on the candy store’s door to closed. After some thought she took out a spare sign, one reading ‘Closed, Lyra-based emergency’. Nodding to herself in satisfaction Bon Bon set off to find her wayward 'friend'.
The sound eventually began to wind down, Lyra’s lungs only able to support it for so long. She finally came to a stop only to take a great breath to begin again.
"Haaa...." She sucked in air.
“No!” Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo shouted at once.
“Cease-desist air-suck!” Thanquol ordered with a screech.
She stopped mid-suck, her mouth still wide open. Slowly she closed it. “Sorry.” Lyra said with a blush, “I get...excited sometimes.”
“Yes-yes, I get-see that.” The Grey Seer grunted, digging a claw into one of his ears. “You wish to know of humans great-much do you?”
Lyra nodded excitedly, her embarrassed look turning back to extreme glee. “Yes please. I can’t believe it, someone who knows about humans. And they called me crazy, ha!” She cackled.
“There’s a reason for that, isn’t there?” Scootaloo whispered to Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah.” The weathermare nodded. “You’re looking at it.”
Thanquol rubbed his paws together, chuckling. “Good-fine, yes, Thanquol can tell you much-” He was cut off by aquamarine hooves wrapped around him. She stood on her back legs, her front under his arms.
“I. Just. Can’t. Believe. It!” She shrieked again, tightening her hug with each word. Lyra was lost in her happiness and missed the way he slapped at her sides. Thanquol’s pallid tail whipped about like an ugly snake gone mad.
Rainbow Dash watched for another few seconds before intervening, deciding she didn’t want to deal with Fluttershy being disappointed in her over letting the rat get hugged to death. That mare could make anypony feel guilty if she tried.
“Hey, Lyra, I think you’re kind of choking him.” She warned. “Fluttershy is looking after him, I don’t think she’ll appreciate coming back and finding him with broken ribs.”
The unicorn blinked at Rainbow Dash, looking entirely uncomprehending for a few seconds. “Huh?” She finally seemed to notice the rat paws hitting her with less and less strength each time. “Oh. Oh!”
Lyra put Thanquol down gently, patting his back as the ratkin bent over, choking for air.
“Sorry about that Mister Rat.” She apologised earnestly, looking very sorry indeed. “I just got so excited. Everypony has always said I was crazy or mad or insane or loco-in-the-coco or loony or off my rocker or-”
“I think he gets the picture.” Rainbow Dash interrupted, slightly guilty that she had been the one who used the loco-in-the-coco to describe Lyra once.
Lyra nodded and looked at Thanquol with a begging expression. “So if you really know about humans, I need to know. It means everything to me!”
“Mighty-wise Thanquol’s knowledge of humans is unmatched-”
“Great, where can I find him?” Lyra asked brightly.
He worked his jaw for a moment, trying not to swell with indignation at its impudence, interrupting him!
“I am Thanquol.” He snarled, .
“Oh, I was wondering why you kept mentioning him.” She commented without so much as batting an eyelash at his tone. “I thought you were friends or something.”
“No, Thanquol is Thanquol.” The priest told her with a bleak expression. Perhaps it was too stupid to be his servant. If the rest of its kind thought it was mad maybe....no. If it was outcast from its fellow pony-things it would be all the easier to manipulate. Like humans, these pony-things seemed to crave each other’s company. Why else would Fluttershy seek out so many of her so-called ‘friends’. She didn’t even seem to be manipulating them! It was the height of idiocy and naivety.
Or perhaps, he considered, that was the genius of it. Yes, what if the Fluttershy was more cunning than she first let on? He stroked his whiskers as he thought about it, The mad-pony first, he filed away his thoughts on Fluttershy for later.
“So, humans, tell me tell me tell me!” Lyra was bouncing in front of him, practically begging. Really, it was begging.
He drew himself up, reclaiming his staff again and trying to regain his dignity.
“Benevolent and wise as I am,” He began pompously only to be interrupted by the sound of wings beating and Fluttershy landing next to him.
“H-gasp-here.” She croaked, placing a basket of various fruits and vegetables next to Thanquol before slumping.
He nodded at her, a simple sign that her job was done, and turned back to Lyra. Its expression hadn’t changed as it stared at him. Thanquol pulled a fruit from the basket before he continued, enjoying the way the mad-pony watched him with wide-eyed attentiveness. He rather enjoyed being in control of this conversation.
Rainbow Dash was not so delightfully quiet and attentive.
“Fluttershy, are you okay? You look like you flew around Ponyville a couple times.” She asked, going to her panting friend.
The meek pegasus gave her a small smile. “Oh I...just wanted...to get him...enough...” Fluttershy managed as she huffed and puffed.
“You’re way too nice. He hasn’t even said thanks.” Grumbled Rainbow Dash as she sat next to her friend.
“Its...fine...” Mumbling her reply Fluttershy finally took notice of Lyra’s presence and her stare locked on Thanquol. She shivered slightly, remembering the time Lyra was certain a human was hiding in Fluttershy’s shed. Which was strange for a number of reasons, not least that Fluttershy didn’t have a shed. “What’s...” She took a deep breath. “What’s going on?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Thanquol apparently knows a lot about humans. He said the h-word and Lyra came running.” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh...”
Meanwhile Thanquol was preparing to entangle the hapless pony-thing in a brilliant web of most cunningly devised deceptions.
“Over my many years sneak-stalking across the world, my knowledge of the man-things has grown greater than any-all other’s. Even the man-things lack my knowingness of them.” He declared with his usual modesty.
“Wow!” Lyra replied in turn.
He stroked his whiskers, smirking widely. “Yes-yes, wow indeed. Great-vast is my knowing, known-revered across the Under-Empire as the greatest of researchers.”
She was bouncing in place again. “Really?! You must be amazing!”
Thanquol swelled with self-importance. It was all true, obviously, but it had been too long since he had an underling to fawn over his brilliance. Perhaps this pony-thing would be even more use than he had thought, he thought as he took a bite from the fruit he had taken. The juices ran from his jaw, reminding him of a bloody flank of slave meat.
“Benevolent and generous as Thanquol is,” he went on, “I cannot share-give what I know, much as I want to.” He lied, fighting back a cackle at the sudden look of despair in its eyes.
“W-what?” Lyra stuttered, her eyes going even whiter and a wet sheen coming to them. “W-why?”
Fluttershy tried to get up, seeing that Lyra looked a few seconds away from crying. As quirky as Lyra might be, Fluttershy couldn’t just stand there and let her cry. She would try to comfort her...as soon as her muscles started working again...
He did his best to look like he cared. “Rules are strict for such things. Pain-hurt are those who break them. A Grey Seer cannot share-give his knowledge to one not initiated....” He said with a regretful tone.
Lyra sniffled as she stared at him. It was so close! He knew everything she had been searching for and he wouldn’t tell her. She threw herself down in front of him, not caring about the fact she was begging on the ground in the middle of the town square.
“Please! There must be a way!” She cried desperately. She had to know!
“Hmm..” Thanquol took a whiff of warpstone, feeling the tingle blaze through his nerves and down his spine. His tail twitched and snaked about as he pretended to think. “Perhaps...perhaps there is a way...”
She stared up at him as he trailed off. “T-there is? Please Mister Thanquol, I have to know! It means everything to me.”
On the inside he cackled. Perfect!
“I grow-get tired.” He suddenly said, sagging against his staff. “Come-come tomorrow morning, find-bring me all collections of human knowledge you possess. I may be able to do something.”
He meant to turn away and demand Fluttershy accompany him back to the cottage, because he actually was tired and his body ached. Unfortunately he failed to reckon with the intentions of a happy Lyra. He squealed in shock as her hooves wrapped him in another hug.
Her squee was slightly less painful this time, although that didn’t mean much considering how close she was to Thanquol’s ears.
He clapped his paws over his ears again, dropping his staff as the insane pony-thing tried to break his ear drums. It was pushing its luck! He would punish it severely for this! He was a grey seer, a master of the Horned Rat’s dark magic and he would not be-
“Uh, excuse me Lyra, but could you, um, please stop?” Fluttershy asked timidly, finally able to walk again. She tapped the unicorn’s shoulder and the madmare let him down.
He tried not to glare, he really did, but as he fussed with his robes and reclaimed his staff Thanquol felt his eyes grow a tad intense in their focus.
“Oh, sorry.” Lyra said with an apologetic smile. “I got overexcited.”
A new voice cut in before any replies could be made to the incredibly obvious.
“Just what is going on here?” Bon Bon demanded, trotting towards them at a determined pace. “Lyra, were you hugging that...rat...thing?” She asked when she reached them
“Uh huh.” Lyra nodded happily. “He knows all about hum-” She was interrupted by a hoof being jabbed into her mouth.
“No.” The candy maker said, sighing. “Not this again Lyra.”
The unicorn scowled and pushed her friend’s hoof away. “Yes, this again Bon Bon! He’s called Thanquol and he’s a human expert and he’s going to tell me all about them tomorrow.”
Thanquol sniffed as the newcomer looked at him crossly. He folded his arms, tapping his staff on the ground as he met its gaze imperiously. This one smelled sweet, of sugar and chemicals. An apothecary? It seemed to know the madpony well.
“Lyra, do you really want to go through this again? Remember last time? You were convinced that minotaur was a secret agent of some, what was it, ‘shadowy cabal’ who were concealing the truth about humans.” Bon Bon pointed out with a growl.
“Hey, in my defense he totally turned Fluttershy evil. She dumped garbage on you because of him!” The unicorn protested.
That got Thanquol’s attention. Not only did he recognise the word minotaur but one that apparently turned his meek nurse to what lesser creatures called ‘evil’. How intriguing.
The pegasus blushed. “Oh, uh, sorry about that. I mean, I know I apologised before...and it wasn’t really Iron Will’s fault...”
Bon Bon gave her a dismissive wave. “I told you it was alright Fluttershy. Anyway Lyra, do you want to be put back on medication after only two weeks?” Bon Bon asked sternly, giving the monster-rat thing a sharp looking for playing with her friend like this. It was cruel.
Lyra flinched at that, looking down. “N-no.” She looked up again a moment later, the force of her obsession beating the shame. “But this time its real! I asked and he said he knows all about that, that he’s an expert. No amount of drugs will change that.”
Drugs? This mad pony-thing smelled odd, now he focused on it..Thanquol narrowed his eyes. Clearly the madpony was even madder than he had first suspected. The fact that its belief in humans was apparently mad enough to warrant being drugged didn’t go over his head. A land where humans were a myth? There were few parts of the world that their filthy kind could not be found, a clear act of jealousy directed at the glorious proliferation of the skaven.
Bon Bon took a deep, deep breath.and drew on reserves of patience she had acquired from years of dealing with Lyra. “Lyra, we are going home. Now.” She ordered with a tone that said in no-uncertain terms that somepony would be sleeping on the couch if she refused.
Opening her mouth wide to protest she was cut off by a flap of Thanquol’s paw.
“Go-go, friend-pony.” He commanded magnanimously. “Tomorrow come-come to Fluttershy’s cottage with your lore-knowledge. My solution-answer may be ready.”
That decided it and Lyra nodded. “Sure thing! Alright Bon Bon, home we go!” She stood upright as she pointed a hoof in a random direction, “Away!” Her other hoof managed to grab the one Bon Bon had been using to interrupt her.
The candy maker’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sudden surrender. She realised what Lyra was thinking of doing a few seconds too late. “Wait, Lyra, let’s just waaaaaaaa....”
The dust cloud that was a charging Lyra vanished down the street, a wailing earth pony flailing in the air next to her.
Thanquol snickered quietly, taking a savage glee from the shock of the pony-thing that had tried to talk the mad-pony out of its obsession. An obvious failure. Those with addictions and obsessions were the weakest of minds to manipulate, at least as far as Thanquol was concerned. He inhaled a pinch of warpstone to settle his nerves, smugly considering how his plan was coming together.
“Uh, Thanquol?” He looked down sharply at Fluttershy, who pawed the ground nervously. “A-aren’t you going to be d-doing research with Twilight tomorrow?” She asked.
His expression went slack for a moment. “...yes-yes, I am! But wise Thanquol plan-schemes well. The mad-p- Lyra will come early, then I shall bestow-bless my presence upon the magepony.”He said it confidently, warpstone fuelled certainty burning in his veins and setting his brain afire.
Even Rainbow Dash had to find that a bit much. “Bless? Come on, seriously?”
Thanquol eyed her for a moment as if considering how to react. He settled on inclining his head towards her. “Right-yes, just as you yourself have done with meagre-humble Thanquol, oh graceful flier.” He praised.
It worked perfectly. Rainbow Dash practically puffed up, smirking cockily. “Well, yeah, I am kinda totally awesome.” She agreed. “Grace, ha, I could out-grace a swan!”
“Obviously, I see-scent it clearly.” Thanquol nodded, trying not to let his disdain for the pony-thing’s idiocy infect his voice. That it fell for deceptive flattery so easily was just another sign of its inferiority. He would never fall for such transparent lies. “Grace-skill in all your movements.”
Fluttershy thought, in the privacy of her own head, that Thanquol was laying it on a bit thick. If she was anypony but Fluttershy she might have even pointed this out. Since she was Fluttershy, she didn’t.
Her ego suitably inflated Rainbow Dash was happy to forgive and forget - particularly forget - any wrongdoings or rudeness on Thanquol’s part. Transgressions great and many could be forgiven for appreciating how awesome she was and she was very awesome indeed. It took a lot of appreciating to cover all her awesome and there was only so much appreciating she could do on her own without most of her friends donning costumes and pretending to be the same pony.
“I’d love to stay and talk about how cool I am,” she said, really meaning it, “but I’ve got some rain to take to Sweet Apple Acres.”
Thanquol gave her a gracious bow. “Do not let me delay-detain you. Go-go, take...rain. This awed one will be wait-waiting eagerly for our next meet-talk.”
Ruffling Scootaloo’s mane and waving goodbye to Fluttershy Rainbow Dash took off, zipping away.
“Guess I better go home.” Scootaloo sighed, pouting slightly now that Rainbow Dash was gone. She waved to Fluttershy and the big horned rat monster. “See you later Fluttershy and Thanquol!” She sped off on her scooter, mane rustling in the wind.
Thanquol saw the insane child had forgotten its helmet and eyed the armour thoughtfully. Shoving the last of his fruit into his mouth he picked up the helmet in his now free paw and shook it, testing its weight. A nasty grin he kept turned away from Fluttershy spread over his verminous face, teeth bared. Lifting his gaze back to the fleeing child he aimed carefully.
“Forgot helm, take-take back for safety!”
The helmet soared through the sky, spinning over as it flew towards its owner. Scootaloo heard the rat’s call and looked back briefly, confused.
“My helmet? Oh, I- ow!” It smacked her on the head. For a few seconds she zigzagged before regaining control, her head ringing from the light impact.
“Woops.” The verminpriest said with a suppressed snicker, his tongue snaking out to slurp the juices running down his chin.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof but Scootaloo just got back up waved her thanks, slightly uncertainly, before slipping on her helmet and taking off once more. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Thanquol, who had turned to the basket he had been brought and was devouring several choice fruits. “I’m glad you’re enjoying what I got you at least.”
He looked up, fixing her with a look. It was an irritated and tired look.
“Yes-yes, much enjoying.” He took a bannana bit through it,devouring it skin and all. He scrunched his nose halfway through, licking his lips as he considered the taste. Apparently deciding he liked the taste Thanquol finished it off, his teeth making short work of the fruit.
Fluttershy looked him up and down, looking worried. “I think we should go home for now. You look a little tired.” She suggested gently.
Thanquol snorted. “Great-strong Thanquol does not tire easily,” he corrected her, “but this once the idea has merit. I wish-want to rest, quick-fast.”
Picking up the basket and balancing it on her back Fluttershy led the way back through town, feeling the basket shift when her odd companion pillaged it for more goods. Occasionally she had to stop to steady it and he just watched, licking varied juices from his paw as she struggled not to trip and spill the fruit everywhere.
‘He’s tired, of course he can’t help right now.’ She assured herself after a few times of distress where he failed to so much as lift a paw, continuing on ahead and waiting impatiently with unhappy tapping of his staff when she failed to catch up right away.
They reached Fluttershy’s home eventually, her basket of fruit’s weight much diminished and Thanquol patting his filled belly. It was no substitute for a flank of bloody skaven or a leg of human but the fruit was fresher than any wares found in the Under-Empire and certainly far superior to black corn. The thought of the foul staple of the skaven capital’s diet made him shudder in disgust.
Fluttershy let out a relieved sigh, smiling as she opened the door and trotted in. Her smile grew at the sight of her little animals, all milling about together.
“Oh, hello everyone, I’m so sorry I was out for so long. Let’s fix you all some yummy lunch, hm?” She offered, enjoying the happiness in the eyes of the hungry litte critters.
Happiness which died a painful death when Thanquol stalked in behind Fluttershy. He fixed them with a beady, hungry stare, little red eyes darting about in a way that suggested he was considering which would be the best appetizer.
Fluttershy gaped as the animals fled, streaming out the back door and through windows. “Wait, everyone, what’s wrong?!” She flew after them, dropping the basket and trying to get at least a few of them before they fled. She hoped they were just upset or playing a game. Fluttershy was starting to have a few flashbacks to the Grand Galloping Gala.
The sorcerer-rat smirked smugly, ignoring the commotion to scurry to the bed he had claimed as his own. On the way the only animal not to flee crossed his path and they exchanged hot glares, Angel Bunny and Thanquol’s eyes met dangerously. For a moment the rabbit seemed to consider remaining in the verminkin’s way. Thanquol bared his fangs, flashing vicious incisors and licking his disgusting tongue along them. His stare told Angel Bunny exactly which animal he wanted to start with.
The bunny hopped away, leaving Thanquol to scowl in annoyance and continue on his way. It didn’t take long for him to finish his journey to the bed and to his chagrin he all but collapsed in it, damaged muscles protesting all the walking he had been doing and aches beginning to play up across his body. The Staff of the Horned Rat thudded to the ground next to the bed without an ounce of dignity in its treatment.
He forced the pain away. He was grey seer Thanquol, the favoured of the vermin god and a master of sorcery beyond mortal ken! His body obeyed him, not the other way around. Every bone and vein was his to command and control as his magnificent will saw fit and no mere mortal weakness could impede or influence him.
A pang of longing struck Thanquol and he reached under the pillows. His rat-skull snuff box, secreted away before they left, greeted him and he took a pinch of refined warpstone snuff. It filled him with strength and life again. With a relieved sigh he lay back and reached into his robe. The ‘Comprehensive Foal’s Guide To Most of History’ was safe and sound where he had left it. Concealing his rat-skull snuff box again Thanquol lay back and opened the book to the first page, his eyes hungrily devouring...
….
“What-what?!” He shrieked, staring at the unfamiliar characters. His teeth gnashed and it took all of Thanquol’s self-control not to tear the book to pieces and smash what was left to pulp. His paws shook, his grip biting into the book.
The book’s title made complete sense to him and only now did he realise the weak magic cast on it to convey its meaning to all who laid eyes on it. He didn’t know yet but the book was meant for children who couldn’t quite read yet, optimistically enchanted by Twilight so they could find out about history if they were interested. The book had never been borrowed.
The words on the inside made no sense at all and Thanquol realised, one of his eyes twitching dangerously, that he didn’t know how to read their language. He hadn’t even realised they had a different language until now and that he had not, in fact, been speaking natural skaven Queekish this entire time.
Angel Bunny wasn’t sure why the rat-monster begin to wail in aggravation considering he hadn’t done anything to it - yet - but he decided it didn’t matter much and just lifted his ears to hear it better. It made him feel warm inside.
* So Ends Chapter 10 *