Twelve – Canterlot Courtship
Fluttershy knocked anxiously on the bedroom door. “Twilight? Are you all right? C-can I come in?”
She couldn’t hear anything through the door. No sobbing, no shouts—just an eerie silence.
“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t have brought up dating,” said Spike. He rubbed the back of his head nervously. “See, the thing about Twilight is—”
“Don’t tell me.” Time Turner rolled his eyes. “She’s never actually been on a date before.”
“She never had friends before she came to Ponyville. What do you think?”
Time Turner ran a hoof through his mane. “This isn’t good. I was going over the final stages for the Rapid Maturity spell last night. We’re on the right track so far. She’s mostly developed physically. All she needs is to release her adolescent hormones with a simple date and then get her coronation. Instant Princess, nothing to it!”
“I’m sure she’d feel better if we could talk about it,” Fluttershy suggested. “I know I would.”
A bright pink blur raced across the room and slammed against the door. “Nope! What she needs is a pre-date party to cheer her up!”
Spike glared. “That’s your answer to everything!”
“Well, you lot can sort it out yourselves,” said Time Turner. When he caught Spike’s eye, he grinned and nudged him with his elbow. “I made plans for dinner with a lovely royal archivist.”
“I thought you were doing research while you were gone.”
His grin widened. “Well, I was! Just… not entirely on age spells, if you know what I mean.”
The dragon shook his head. “Whatever. Have a good time.”
“Always do, Sir Spike! Au revoir, everypony! Best of luck to you!” With a swish of his tail, Time Turner trotted out the front door.
Pinkie Pie sat down at the door, staring at it like an eager puppy. Then she shrugged and trotted over to Spike. “Well, I’m out of ideas. Wanna go play in the snow?”
“I think I’ll stay here.” Spike glanced anxiously at Fluttershy. “Just in case she needs anything.”
She smiled. “That’s sweet of you, Spike.”
“Come on, come on!” Pinkie Pie threw a scarf around Fluttershy’s neck, then donned one herself. “Those candy canes aren’t going to eat themselves, you know!”
“I thought we were playing in the snow—”
“That’s just the first half-hour! Now let’s go!”
“Well, okay—eep!” Fluttershy was yanked off her hooves as Pinkie Pie dragged her by the tail toward the front door.
Now that he was alone, Spike had some time to think. He didn’t know what else he could do except sit and wait for Twilight to come out. But what could he say to comfort her? His only romance had been with Rarity, and they’d never gone on a date.
But if we did… And then all Spike could think about was Rarity’s silken mane in the moonlight as she trotted alongside him through White Tail Woods, whispering words of love as they shared a bottle of punch, pledging themselves to one another as a fair pony and her dragon knight—
“Snap out of it!” Spike said and slapped himself across the face. “You gotta help Twilight first. Somehow…”
But he didn’t feel up to the task. In fact, he felt queasy. A familiar rumbling from deep in his stomach, surging up to the back of his throat—
With a violent jolt, Spike belched out a ball of green fire. The flames disappeared, leaving behind a pristine white scroll.
“Thank you, Princess!” Spike unfurled the scroll and read the contents of the letter. Then he reread it, not quite believing it.
He knew Celestia had a very playful sense of humor, but this was pushing it.
Twilight frowned as she read the scroll Princess Celestia had sent. “You weren’t kidding. This is her way of… helping?”
“I know, right?” Spike sat beside on the bed, holding a box of tissues for her sake.
Dear Twilight Sparkle, the letter read, While I have made progress with the dignitaries from the Griffin Kingdom, I do wish to offer my assistance with your problem. Time Turner and Public Record have informed me of your need to go on a date—your first one ever, if memory serves. As it so happens, the griffin’s chief has a son, Prince Gregory, who might be an excellent match for you. And of course, it would go a long way to improving relations between ponies and griffins…
“Celestia wants me to date a griffin?” Twilight paced around the bed. “How…? Why…? What could she possibly… aargh! I can’t even think straight!”
Spike held up the box of tissues. “Need this?”
“I’m not sad, I’m just confused!” Twilight stamped in protest. “How would this date make the griffins like us more?”
“Well, you are a Princess…”
“And since when does Celestia play matchmaker? She’s never taken this kind of an interest in my love life before.”
“Maybe it won’t be that bad?” When Twilight stopped and fixed him with a glare, Spike held up the tissues as a shield. “J-just hear me out. What if all you do is go on a date with this Prince Whatshisface and you never have to see him ever again? It’d be a show of goodwill, that’s all.”
Twilight looked away. She couldn’t believe she was considering this. Spike had a point and she was desperate to do anything to get back to normal. Go back to diapers and bottles as a foal? Fine. Play games with Pinkie Pie and celebrate ten birthdays in a row? Not a problem. Go on one measly date with a mysterious griffin prince? She guessed she might as well.
But that wasn’t the only thing bothering her.
“Call it something else, though,” she told Spike. “Call it a state dinner or a diplomatic event. Just don’t call it a date.”
“What’s wrong with calling it a date—?”
“Nothing at all,” Twilight said quickly. “Just don’t call it that, okay?”
“Got it. Not a date.” Spike rubbed the scales on the side of his head as he mulled it over. “It’s a… a royal dinner! Ooh, or how about a feast?”
“Fine. It’s a royal feast.”
“Awesome! I can’t wait!”
“You’re not invited!”
“That’s mean! Organizing a royal feast and not inviting your number one assistant…”
Twilight smacked her face with her hoof and groaned. She was glad she never had to deal with any of this the last time she’d been a teenager.
Local ponies stared in awe as Pinkie Pie rolled herself through the snow down the street, slowly rolling herself up into a giant snowball. It was gaining size and speed as she rolled, until nothing but her head was sticking out the front. And through the commotion and the onlookers’ concern, Pinkie Pie laughed like a maniac.
“What’s the matter?” she asked passerby. “Never seen a pony-sized snowball before?”
Meanwhile, Fluttershy was flying overhead, trying to keep up with her. A trio of robins were flying alongside the pegasus, chatting with her in happy little tweets.
“Oh, I know,” said Fluttershy. “She gets anxious, but she’s so brave that it doesn’t matter.”
One of the birds chirped a question.
“Goodness, no! I could never do that! She’s my friend and I wouldn’t think of her that way.” Fluttershy fell silent, but in her mind, she added, Besides, I’ve no right to ask that of a princess.
The birds in Canterlot were a lot friendlier ever since Fluttershy had come to visit, always talking about famous ponies they’d seen and their home in the royal gardens. And they were so polite, ready to listen to her questions and concerns. At the moment, they were very supportive of Fluttershy’s attempts to confess her true feelings for a certain pony—
Boom. Snow erupted into the air as Pinkie Pie’s snowball slammed into a cul-de-sac at the end of the street. The pink pony lay slumped against the wall of a well-to-do pony’s townhouse, dizzy and laughing.
“That was so cool!” Pinkie Pie jumped onto her hooves, only to wobble around and fall back down. “I’m gonna do it again and again!”
Fluttershy landed beside her, huffing softly. “Gosh, Pinkie. I don’t think the other ponies would like that very much.”
“Really? Did a little bird tell you that?”
“Um, yes.” She glanced up at the robins “Several, actually.”
“Oh.” Pinkie Pie grinned and dashed past her. “Okey-dokey-lokey! I’m gonna find something else to do!”
With a tired squeak, Fluttershy resigned herself to following her friend. At least she was outside. It gave her a chance to think things over.
Like how to tell Twilight that she wanted to be her first date.