//------------------------------//
// Don't Rock The Boat 
// Story: Pirates of The Equestrian 
// by Stratocaster 
//------------------------------//


Pirates of The Equestrian


By Stratocaster



Chapter 1: Don't Rock The Boat


"Whoo! Get down, party ponies!"

Pinkie Pie joined the other vacationers on the dance floor as the sun set on the cruise of a lifetime. She and her friends had embarked on a round trip cruise aboard the biggest luxury liner in the Equestrian fleet: the E.S. Crown of Celestia. After once agan, saving Equestria from certain peril, Princess Celestia herself had awarded her six students with a well deserved vacation, and the mares were already enjoying a nice lavish day aboard the massive cruise ship. As the afternoon drew to a close, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash sat at a table by the ship's outdoor café.

"I gotta tell ya, Twilight," said Applejack. "At first I was skeptical about vacationin' on a boat. But this cruise is a real barrel o' fun!"

"Yeah, just look at all the events they got going on here." Rainbow added. "Rock climbling, deep sea diving, zip lining; this week is going to be awesome!"

"It sure was nice of the Princess to give us these tickets." Twilight said. "Although, I think some of us are enjoying it a little too much." That's when she saw Rarity strutting over in a skimpy summer dress made by herself. "Rarity, are you just going to lounge about tanning the whole week? It's sunset and you're missing dinner."

"Ugh, no fatty buffet food for me," replied Rarity. "I for one want to keep my slim and trim bikini body. I'll just have a salad."

"Well, you don't know what yer missin'." Applejack scoffed as she ate from an overstuffed plate. "This shrimp and sunflower cocktail is to die for. And the veggie sushi? Forget about it!"

Then, Twilight looked around for a moment. "Hang on guys, I'm going to find Fluttershy."

She got up and walked around the boat deck in search of her bashful friend. It wasn't long before she found Fluttershy bending over the railing and hanging her head over the water.

Twilight approached her. "Fluttershy, you don't look so good. Are you sea sick?"

Fluttershy looked back with green cheeks. "Oh, uh, I'm okay, Twilight. I'm just-" she then bent over the railing again and vomited before returning. "I'm just a little light headed."

"Maybe you should head back to the cabin and get some rest." Twilight urged her along. "I'll come back with some antacid."

"Oh thanks, Twilight," smiled the sickly Fluttershy as she slowly started off. "Um, we're still going to swim with the dolphins when we make port, right?"

"Of course, Fluttershy." Twilight smiled back and let her dizzy friend wobble back to their cabin. But her focus was thrown off when Pinkie yelled in her ear, with a fruity drink in her hoof.

"Whoo! Come on, Twilight, come dance with me!" she beckoned as she sang out of tune. "Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby, rock the boat!"

"Pinkie, I think you've had one too many hay daiquiris." Twilight glowered.

"I think you've had one too few!" replied Pinkie before taking a swill and prancing off some more.

"What is with that pony?" asked Applejack joining in with the other two. "She's been actin' even loopier than usual ever since we came on board."

"I don't know," said Twilight. "I guess being on the open water changes you."

"Well we can't let her ruin our vacation." Rarity added. "There are quite a few hunky stallions aboard and I will not be made a foal of."

Over by the stern end of the ship, Pinkie danced some more leaving behind empty hay daiquiri glasses and turning heads from other ponies. Rainbow flew over to restrain her.

"Pinkie, get a hold of yourself." She shook her. "You're not fun when you party too hard."

"Come on, Rainbow, you need to cut loose!" Pinkie slurred then hopped into one of the attached lifeboats hanging off the stern. "Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby, rock the boat!"

Then, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack came over to help. "Pinkie, get out of that lifeboat!" ordered Twilight.

"Party pooper!" giggled Pinkie.

"Ugh, what's going on?" gurgled Fluttershy, who poked her head from inside the lifeboat.

"Fluttershy, what are you doing in there?" asked Twilight. "I thought you were going to the cabin."

"I didn't make it," she answered embarrassed. "So I stopped here to rest...and, um, throw up...some more..."

Then, she was grabbed in Pinkie's tightened hoof as the party animal began to sway the life boat. "Come on, Fluttershy, let's go out on the dance floor and rock n' roll!"

"Uh, I'd really rather not do any rocking or rolling." Fluttershy quivered, holding back the urge to wretch.

"That's it," said Applejack. "Yer comin' with us ya lunatic."

The rest of the ponies piled onto the lifeboat to hold Pinkie down, as she continued to tip the tiny vessel from side to side.

She sang loudly again. "Come on, everypony! Rock the boat!"

"Don't rock the boat!"

"Rock the boat!"

"Don't rock the boat!"

"Rock the boat!"

"Don't rock the boat!"

"Um, guys?" squeaked Fluttershy.

"ROCK THE BOAT!" Pinkie then leaped into the air with ecstacy. But when she came back down, the impact shook the small lifeboat, snapping its ropes from the davits.

And just like that, they plummeted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The surprisingly sturdy boat hit the water with an enormous splash. But the impact of the fall caused the ponies inside to bounce up and land hard back in. All six of them were immediately knocked out cold in the small dinghy, as the Crown of Celestia steamed away unaware.

...

"Ugh, my head." Rainbow moaned as she stirred awake.

"What happened?" mumbled Twilight as she and the rest slowly woke up from their daze.

"Good heavens," said Rarity. "Why are we in this boat?"

"Hey, where's the ship?" asked Applejack with a worried look.

As the sun shone bright the next morning, the ponies quickly returned to reality and began to remember how they had ended up in this predicament. They turned their heads in all directions in search of the Crown of Celestia, but no such luck came. It was only miles of endless ocean all around.

"Oh my gosh," gawked Rainbow. "We're lost as sea!"

"What?! You mean they just sailed off without us?!" gasped Rarity.

"We gotta do somethin'!" added Applejack. "Maybe they're comin' back for us."

"It's no good." Twilight grimaced. "We've been out here for more than twelve hours. They're either too far away for they completely forgot about us."

"Oh my goodness! This is bad! This is really really bad!" squeaked Fluttershy.

"How could this have happened?!" whined Rarity.

That's when Pinkie Pie finally woke up with a yawn. "Good morning, everypony! Hey, what happened last night?"

The rest of the group only starred daggers at her. "Darn it all, Pinkie!" scolded Applejack. "Ya just had to go and knock the lifeboat loose from the ship!"

"We're stranded at sea with no help in sight and it's all your fault!" added Rainbow.

"I was having such a lovely cruise and you ruined it!" yelled Rarity.

"Ah come on, guys," shrugged Pinkie. "We can still have our cruise...just on a smaller boat! Don't be so upset; it's like I always say. Come on everypony, smile, smile, smile-"

"NO!" they all shot back at her.

"Ugh, and to think I could be dining with the captain." Rarity hung her head.

"I didn't even get to finish my dang dinner!" Applejack stomped her hoof.

Fluttershy leaned her head over the side of the boat in dissapointment. "I was going to swim with dolphins." She whimpered.

"Look guys, there's no help in complaining about it." Twilight said. "We have to find a boat out here to help us. Let's just grab the oars and paddle."

"I'll help!" offered Pinkie.

"Like heck you will!" snapped Twilight.

With much disdain, the six rowed off on their flimsy vessel into a random direction. There was not a speck of land in sight and the water was flat calm showing no sign of a helpful current. The heat from the late morning sun sweltered around the stagnant water, leaving the ponies drenched in sweat as they arduously rowed. To add to their torment, there was not even a single seagull that could lead them to an island; the sea seemed lifeless and horribly infinite.
As the hours passed, all hoped seemed lost as Rarity cried a river.

"Oh this is dreadful! I can't stand anymore of this torture! The heat is unbearable, the sea smells putrid, and WORST of all, my mane is frizzing!"

"Don't worry, Rarity," said Twilight with a strangely elated smile on her face. "We'll just stop at that ice cream stand over there!"

"Ice cream stand?!" Applejack raised an eyebrow. "You gotta be kiddin', Where?"

"There!" Twilight pointed with a delirious look in her eyes. "Look, Princess Celestia is there waiting for us; with balloons!"

Applejack looked at her friend skeptically. "Twi, I think yer seein' a mirage. Maybe you should lie down for a while." She told Twilight whose eye began to twitch.

Suddenly, Rainbow perked up her head and peered out to sea. "Hey, what's that?"

The group followed her gaze and were shocked to see large speck in the distance. After focusing, the speck turned out to be a ship, with masts towering above the deck. They became overjoyed.

"It's a boat!" smiled Fluttershy. "We're saved!"

"Oh sweet relief!" blurted Rarity. "I hope there's a shower on board!"

"Come on guys," said Twilight. "Start rowing!"

With newfound relief, they paddled quickly over in the direction of the miraculous ship. As they approached, they could make out the details of the vessel. It appeared to be an old-fashioned sailing vessel, a three-masted barque, complete with a wooden hull and rolled up sails. Getting closer, the ponies marveled at the strange vessel from a bygone era; but something just didn't feel right about it. A strange quiet and emptiness seemed to fill the atmosphere around the sturdy hull. Oddly enough, there were no voices heard from inside or on the deck, or any sign of life for that matter. It looked as though this rescue would not be too fruitful.
The mares finally came alongside the lonely ship and ascended the ladder to the deck.

"Well this is strange," pondered Twilight out loud. "What's an old-fashioned ship like this doing way out here?"

"The heck if I know." Rainbow said abruptly. "I just want to get home already. A pony should never have to do so much rowing...not that I'm not strong enough or anything."

Upon reaching the top of the ladder, the group surveyed the deck. The wooden area was completely void of life, with only a few barrels and crates full of unknown content sitting about. Only the sound of the wood creaking and water lapping against the hull was heard.

"Hello!" called Applejack. "Anypony home?"

"Ooh! Maybe it's a surprise party!" perked up Pinkie.

"Yes, Pinkie," replied Twilight, sarcastically. "It's a surprise party."

"This ship looks so lonely." Fluttershy said. "Maybe there's nopony aboard."

"Who would just leave an empty old ship just floating out in the middle of nowhere?" wondered Rainbow.

"Well the least they could've done is clean the place." Rarity scoffed. "This deck is absolutely filthy! There's mold everywhere I look!"

"Would ya rather go back in the lifeboat?" Applejack mocked her.

Twilight looked in all directions around the deck. "I don't like this. There's something off about this ship. I'm getting a bad feeling in my horn."

"You can do that?" Pinkie asked her, curious.

"This is kind of scary." Fluttershy said cautiously. "Maybe I should wait in the lifeboat." She turned back toward the ladder, but before she could proceed, she bumped into a figure that was not there before. It was a pony, but not a friendly looking one. A gray stallion, dressed in tattered and stained sailing garb, stared menacingly at Fluttershy with a devious toothy smile. Fluttershy squeaked in fright and immediately backed away from the grizzly sailor who then gave a raspy laugh.

The other mares quickly turned and looked in surprise. "Who are you?!" demanded Twilight.

But without a response the shabby sailor was joined by several more stallions just like him. The mares looked all around as more and more sailors in filthy clothing circled around them, all cackling with anticipation. Some of them came armed with swords and daggers while others carried old-fashioned flintlock rifles and pistols. But what stood out from these dregs more than anything was the smell; they reeked of salt water, rancid food and grog which brought torment to Rarity's nose. They surrounded the lost and afraid ponies and closed in on them; that is until one of them called from among the hoard.

"Captain on deck!"

Immediately, the gaggle of cutthroats formed a gap letting somepony through. Silence filled the air again as Twilight and her friends heard slow hoofsteps approaching; the sound of one hoof resembled wood. Entering the circle came a tall stallion who seemed even bigger than Big Macintosh. His coat was a sickly lime green and his unkempt mane was soot black with a scraggly, braided beard to match. Covering that mane was a large black colonial hat, complimented with a bright red jacket. The intimidating stallion stared down the mares with blood red eyes for a moment; then he chuckled a little and spoke in a  loud raspy bellow.

"Looks like a few sea maidens have washed up on me ship, eh boys?!" he spoke. The sailors cheered and cackled in response.


"Sea maidens?!" glared Rainbow. "Who does he think he-"

Twilight instantly shut her up, not wanting to start a conflict. "What's going on? Who are you?" she asked the captain.

The immense pony only laughed again. "Who am I?!" he mocked. "Ya'd best be jokin' if ya don't know the one true captain o' the deadliest ship in the sea, the Queen Chrysalis's Revenge!"

"The Queen Chrysalis's Revenge?" Twilight repeated the name to herself. "Wait a minute, it can't be!" she suddenly gawked in realization. "You're...you're...you're Blackmane the Pirate!"

"The one and only!" boasted the captain.

"But, you died three hundred years ago! How is this possible?!" Twilight became baffled.

"Hold up, Twi, just what are you talkin' about?" asked Applejack.

"Blackmane was the most feared pirate in Equestrian history!" she explained. "He raided and plundered numerous seaports and ships. But it wasn't until Princess Celestia defeated him and sank his boat along with his crew; since then he became a legend."

"And I'd be a livin' legend now, lassie!" Blackmane bellowed with another round of cheers from his crew.

"Wait a minute," said Rainbow skeptically. "How could some dead old sea coot from a hundred something years ago suddenly appear alive again?"

"Ya'd best not be referrin' to me, pegasus!" scolded Blackmane as he pointed a peg hoof at her. "I'll have ya tied by yer wings and keelhauled a hundred times over!"

"I'd like to see you try, old man!"

"Rainbow, sush!" hissed Twilight who then turned back to Blackmane. "Look, I understand you must be some kind of Blackmane impersonator. But can you please just give us a lift to shore? We seriously need to get home."

Once again, Blackmane led his crew in another round of boisterous laughter. "Then ya've come to the wrong ship, lassie! 'Cause home is the last pace we'll be takin' ya!"

"Wha- what does that mean?" quivered Fluttershy.

Then, Blackmane began to pace around the mares in a scheming manner, hobbling with his peg. "Ya see, it gets mighty lonely out here on the ocean. We haven't felt the warm company of a mare in over three hundred years. But now the sea's bounty has blessed us with six fine ones right here." He then stopped to sniff Rarity's perfume.

"Oh dear mother of Celestia!" she gagged from the captain's stink.

"As ya might guess," he continued. "We plan to keep you lassies onboard with us. Nothin' will suit a pirate better than a group of sea wenches!" More rowdy applause came from the crew.

"I think I'm going to be sick again!" whimpered Fluttershy.

"Well we'll just see about that!" glared Twilight as she charged the magic within her horn. Immediately, she fired a burst of lethal aura at Blackmane. But stunningly, the magic simply seemed to disintegrate away as it hit him. Blackmane remained grinning without a scratch.

"What the?!" gawked Twilight. "What happened?!"

Blackmane cackled loudly again. "You were wrong, lassie, I'd be no impersonator. But yer right about one thing: I am dead! Me and me crew have come back from oblivion to take back what's ours! The seas of Equestria!" The crew cheered him along. "And this time, we are immortal!"

"Um, Twilight," said Applejack flatly with a hint of fear. "I'm startin' to think he's not an impersonator."

"Men, take these maidens below deck!" ordered Blackmane. "And don't think you can try anymore of yer fancy spells, lassie. Yer unicorn magic will have no effect on a ghost ship!" he then wobbled away cackling.

A group of pirates then grabbed the mares and dragged them down a hatchway leading below deck. As they were led against their will, Pinkie uttered simply.

"Guys, I don't feel much like partying anymore!"