"TUCKER, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU SAYING THAT NONSTOP!" Church yelled at Tucker loudly. " It's hard enough without you yelling in everyone's ears!"
"Bow chicka bow wow!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ANNOYING ASSHOLE!!!" Church had enough trouble as it was without Tucker interrupting constantly with his famous catch phrase, and he was getting tired of it. " Dude, you just can't accept that my my catchphrase matches my skill", Tucker said as he smiled in his helmet at Church's irritation. " Skill? Skill!? Dude, Tucker, I have never once heard of you using your skill on anything but an alien".
"That doesn't count, I wasn't awake then!"
"Still, you are a fucking loser, man."
"I am not a loser!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really, you asshole!"
"Ok then, prove it."
"How am I gonna prove it? There's no chicks in this damn canyon!"
"You do realize I'm a girl, right Tucker?" Tex said.
"Tex, I meant a girl that will actually let me get close enough to make a move."
"Good point."
"So, Tucker", Church says with a smirk," I'll make you a bet. If you can find and have sex with a girl within 24 hours, I'll let you use the sniper rifle for a week. If you can't, tough shit, I'll let Tex punch you as hard as she wants."
"What the fuck?! How am I going to find a girl to fuck within the next 24 hours?"
"That's your problem, not ours. I am going to enjoy tomorrow" Church said as him and Tex walked off back to Blue Base.
Tucker watched them leave, then walked into the cave in the canyon and sat down, thinking about how fucked up tomorrow was going to be. There's no way I'll be able to find a chick to bang before tomorrow. Well, if I'm going to get killed tomorrow, might as well have a good nights sleep before then. Tucker did his best to relax, and fell asleep a few minutes later, dreading the next morning.
Little did he know, however, that, somewhere on another world, somepony overheard Tucker's predicament. She smiled to herself, thinking about how she could be the one to help him win his bet.
This is going to be fun. Soon Tucker is going to be meeting Big Sexy, the princess of Equestria thought to her self naughtily.