//------------------------------// // This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things // Story: A Young Lady's Guide to the Demon Slaying Arts // by Protocol //------------------------------// This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things Within the newly raised walls of the Apple family's barn, three young children crawled on a wooden high beam. Two pairs of girls' eyes eagerly darted around, while the third kept a wary gaze on the somewhat flimsy piece of lumber they were perched on. "Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, remind me why we're up here, again?" Sweetie belle asked impatiently, blowing a curl of light pink heir out of her eyes. "We're here to investigate the barn!" an excited Scootaloo yelled passionately. "Aaand we're investigating the barn because…?" Sweetie Belle pressed, still not convinced she wasn't wasting her time. Apple Bloom sighed. "Ah told ya, it's because this barn just ain't natural! It always comes down, no matter how mah family rebuilds fixes and tweaks all the little details on it! First we had to ask Rainbow Dash to take it down because it didn't meet regulations or whatnot, and then there was the time when Pinkie Pie… did something, and we even had it destroyed during our family reunion! We always get it to be perfectly sturdy, but then every third Tuesday of the month, something weird happens and it gets knocked down, and then we have to raise it all up all over again!" the little girl huffed, annoyed by just recalling the events. "And who knows? We could get our cutie marks in this, too. Cutie Mark Crusaders barn inspectors!" Scootaloo said resolutely. "I dunno, it still sounds kind of boring." Sweetie belle droned. "I just wish we were doing something more fun." "What are you talking about? All kinds of wacky things happen when the barn comes down. Fruit bats, Pinkie clones, sonic rainbooms? It'll be tons of fun!" Scootaloo assured, with Apple Bloom nodding beside her. Sweetie belle considered this for a moment, when another thought came to mind. "Waaaait…" she interrupted, raising a quizzical eyebrow. "If the barn comes down every third Tuesday of the month…" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded. "Mmmhmm." "Aaaand if today is the third Tuesday of May…" "Mmmhmm?" "Well, then, isn't it, kind of, um, a bad idea for us to be here today?" Sweetie Belle asked, still unsure of the seemingly obvious answer. "Mmmhmm!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom nodded, with big smiles on their faces. Then, as what they'd just said finally began to connect with their brains, the smiles drooped fast. "Oh." At that moment, the barn started to creak, as a wooden beam fell with a resounding thud. All three crusaders looked at each other, and said the two words that were on their minds. "Uh-oh." "…And there's the Sofas and Quills shop! Now, take it from me, you do not want to listen to anything that storeowner tells you. The first time I tried to restock up on my quills, after I just got to Ponyville, he ended up selling me two sofas that I didn't even need! Now I know not to make that mistake again, but that doesn't change the fact that my basement is already crowded with useless, overly glorified, puffy chairs! Ooh, and there's the town's water reserve! Did I ever tell you about the time where I…" Twilight's words faded to a muffle in Scarlet's mind, as she begrudgingly trudged along with the overly cheerful girl. She'd been showing Scarlet around town for a good hour at least, but it had felt like days. The only thing keeping her there was the fact that Scarlet wanted to get to know the place where a deathgoyle had decided to nest right next to a bit better. The town seemed decent enough, but the way that Twilight described it like a tour guide made it seem so boring. No offense to her, but Scarlet was more of the hands-on type. "Careful there!" Scarlet was broken out of her daze, as she was magically pulled back by the scruff of her neck. "That's Sweet Apple Acres' barn, and it somehow manages to break apart and fall down every third Tuesday of the month, for some inexplicable reason. I don't think you want to go in there today." "…But there are people inside already," Scarlet replied skeptically. "What about them?" "Wait, what?" Twilight swerved her head towards the barn. Inside, she could make out the faces of a pair of children on the upper beams of the infrastructure. "Oh no." A small, white termite poked its head out of one of the barn's walls. A section of wood fell away beneath it, revealing many more inside the structure. As the little tree eaters continued their work, a support beam to the left side of the barn broke off and landed with a thud. "Uh-oh," the children's voices faintly rang outside the barn. Twilight's hand flashed purple, and the girls were immediately teleported next to her. "Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, what were you thinking! You know that the barn's structurally unstable, no matter what we try to do to fix it! It's on a fault line or something, I swear!" she scolded. The two girls paid her no heed as they scampered around, looking desperately for something. Or, someone. "Where's Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked frantically. "Scootaloo? I didn't see her in- Arghh!" Twilight slapped a palm to her head. "She must have been blocked from my field of vision! We have to help her! Scarlet, can you-" However, Scarlet was already gone. She was gone from the moment she noticed Twilight had saved two kids, when she had distinctly heard the voices of three inside of the barn. Dashing inside the large red entrance, Scarlet cast her gaze upwards. Amidst the barn that was falling apart, she spotted a small, tanned girl crouching on a beam high above. "Scootaloo, I presume," she muttered to herself, as she hopped onto the closest support beam she could reach. Kicking off the pillar, she latched herself onto the wall and grabbed the high beam that Scootaloo was on with her hands. Swinging across the pole as if it were a set of monkey bars, Scarlet made her way to below where the child was. She swung herself on top of the beam, landing with her feet as she grabbed Scootaloo by the waist. "Whoa!" Scootaloo cried out, as Scarlet journeyed down in a similar method to how she'd gotten up. She cushioned several small falls by jumping diagonally between the pillar and wall she was closest to, splintering them with a crunch several times in the process. Scarlet dashed for the doors. However, as she was about to escape the building through the entrance, a pile of broken wood fell in front of her, blocking the entrance almost completely. Looking up, Scarlet could see that the entire east wall was about to fall on them. She didn't have much time. Scarlet grabbed a thick, broken piece of lumber, hurling it at the window of the slanted wall that continued its descent. It smashed through the fragile glass with a satisfying crash, and Scarlet dashed back to where she'd been a few moments before. Pumping her legs, she crouched as low as she could, tossing Scootaloo on her back. Scootaloo hung on for dear life, choking Scarlet's neck with a death grip and cutting off her air supply. Scarlet's face turned a shade redder as she waited for the moment to strike, ignoring her imminent suffocation. When the wall was almost completely down, she sprung upwards, jumping perfectly through the hole in the window she'd created. The two of them tumbled a couple of times on the ground before Scarlet stood up, tore Scootaloo from her back and neck, and placed her on the ground. Scootaloo stood up and shook herself from the dust on the ground, and ran up to Scarlet. "Can we do that again?" she asked eagerly, looking up at the older girl with sparkling eyes. "How *cough* about, *cough* let's… not do that again?" Scarlet ruffled Scootaloo's short, purple hair with one hand, massaging her neck where the little girl had almost choked her to death with the other. "Scootaloo!" two voices cried out, as Apple Bloom and Sweetie belle near tackled their friend in a hug. "Are you all right?" "Yeah, she saved me! And it was totally awesome!" Scootaloo replied with a wide smile, pointing at Scarlet. "Well, now that we've established that you three are all alive and safe, I think you should all take the rest of the day off, somewhere where you won't end up putting yourselves in mortal danger." Twilight advised, arriving just after the children. "Yeah!" Scootaloo agreed. "We could go skydiving!" Sort of. "Or catching monsters in the Everfree Forest!" Sweetie Belle added. "Ooh, I know! We'll go treasure hunting in the Diamond Dogs Mountains! They always know where to find jewels!" Apple Bloom pointed out. "Cutie Mark Crusaders treasure hunters!" the three of them shouted in unison. Twilight slapped a hand to her forehead. "I'm going to take these three to their families to make sure they don't get hurt. Do you want to come, Scarlet?" she asked, turning to her companion. "Uh… kids aren't really my thing. I'd rather get a closer look at the town, maybe visit that sofas and quills place." Scarlet took a worrisome step back from the beaming children of calamity. "All right, if you get bored, just meet me at the library," Twilight sighed. She then turned around, picking up the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a magical glow and walking off, despite their protests. "Dodged a bullet there," Scarlet mused, as Twilight and the kids disappeared from view. "Bravo, bravo!" an unfamiliar voice called out from nearby. "Quite an excellent display of speed, agility, dexterity, and efficiency you've just demonstrated." The voice belonged to a tall, lanky man in a dark cloak. His long locks of pitch black hair spilled over his clothes, as a humorless smile could be seen on his narrow face. Scarlet whipped around at the sound of the voice. The man hadn't been there a moment ago, she was sure of it. Yet still, now he was standing in the middle of the town square, with a suspicious smile plastered onto his eerie visage. How could she not have noticed him approaching? There was no signs of teleportation's magical residue, either. Who exactly was this man? “...Can I help you?” Scarlet asked cautiously, eying the mystery man's frame. His skinny body pressed snugly against the rather tight-fitting clothes. It would be difficult to hide any weapons in there. Difficult, but not impossible, Scarlet thought, remaining on alert. The man raised his brows in surprise. “Excuse me? Oh, don’t tell me you've forgotten about little old me! Scarlet, don’t you recognize me?” “Sorry, I don’t believe I do,” she replied icily. The man seemed friendly for now, but she wouldn't ever let her guard down in front of him again. The last time she did, he… Wait… last time? "Oh? But I know you, Scarlet," the man replied with a devilish grin. "In fact, I know all there is to know about you. From the moment of your birth, to the moment of your death and rebirth, to where you stand today. I'm quite shocked that you've forgotten my face, even after all this time." This guy was giving off a seriously bad vibe, and Scarlet decided that it would be in her best interests to stay away from him. "Sorry to hurt your feelings there, but I don't exactly remember much past a few years back. Little bit of an amnesia incident. Forgot everything before then. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet with a friend of mine." Scarlet turned around to leave. "Forgot, or refuse to remember?" the man simply asked, and Scarlet stopped dead in her tracks. Scarlet's brows furrowed into a deep scowl, as she swerved back, walking up to the man and grabbing him by the collar. "Listen here. I don't know what your deal is, here. I don't know if you're telling the truth about knowing who I used to be, and quite frankly, I don't care. But whatever the case, right here, right now, I'm Scarlet. Nothing more, nothing less. Whoever you want me to be, I'm not her." The man didn't even flinch at Scarlet's threatening actions. Looking straight into her face with a sinister grin, he spoke without hesitation. "Did I strike a nerve there? You've worn a mask for so long, that you've forgotten who you really are underneath. But I can see past your little disguise, Scarlet. I can see your eyes, the only parts of your precious little façade that can't be covered up with a mask. Your eyes are still as they were in the past. Consumed by hatred, filled with a bitterness towards the world. Trust is alien to your cold, silver eyes… we're so much alike in that aspect, Scarlet," he sneered, hissing her name in a way which would have sent shivers down almost anyone’s spine. Scarlet, however, was not impressed. "You’re really starting to piss me off, you know. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat the living daylights out of you right now, and have you sent off to be locked up in a mental institution." Even with his collar in the girl’s tight grip, the man managed to keep an unwavering, unnerving smile. "Ah, Scarlet. So strong willed, so talented, and so mature. And yet, it seems you need some further lessons in both patience…" Out of nowhere, the man swung his fist with incredible speed. Connecting with Scarlet's stomach before she had time to react, the young demon slayer released her grip and was left pathetically gasping for air as she crumpled down, winded from all the air in her lungs. "…and humility." The man straightened his collar. “You... *cough* bastard...” Scarlet sputtered. Her assailant crouched down on his knees to Scarlet’s level, pushing up her chin with slender, pale digits. “What happened to all that spunk you just had, hmm? Hold your head up high, girl.” Scarlet glared daggers at him in defiance, but the man wasn't affected in the slightest. Instead, he looked into Scarlet’s furious stare with an almost bored expression. "My name is Phantom, by the way, since you've so conveniently forgotten," Phantom hissed into Scarlet's ear. "And I'll make sure that you remember me, in due time." "Go… to hell!" Catching her breath, Scarlet launched her counterattack against the madman. Maintaining a low centre of gravity, she swooped her leg in a wide arc across the ground, aimed at her target with considerable force. As the foot reached the end of its course, however, Scarlet never felt the connecting impact. Looking up, she saw the man had silently sidestepped back, just beyond her reach, all while still crouching down. He slowly unfolded, rising to a stand casually. "Have you ever fought, Scarlet, not for the sake of survival, not for the sake of protecting others, not even for the sake of fighting itself, but for revenge? Have you ever given in to the unbridled hatred, the deep loathing for those who've ridiculed and wronged you?" Phantom asked with a chillingly calm voice. Scarlet swung her fist at his chest, but Phantom dodged the blow as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Not even breaking a sweat, he continued speaking in his eerie tone. "Anger can make you irrational. Mindless, like a beast. It can make you lose control. But, if controlled and channeled properly, it can give you strength. Power beyond anything you could ever imagine. I taught you that before, Scarlet." "So what?" Scarlet shot back. "I seem to have forgotten, no? I guess that makes you a lousy teacher!" Sprouting her fangs and changing her eyes, Scarlet used her strength to deliver the fastest flurry of blows that she could. Her arms and legs were a blur as she jumped all around Phantom, sending fist after fist towards her target. Yet still, she never felt the satisfaction of fist colliding with flesh. With only the slightest of movements, Phantom had avoided every single punch within a hair's breadth. Before she could react, his arm stole forward like a snake, and clutched an iron grip on Scarlet's wrist. He held her up in the air, her entire body dangling from where Phantom held her. As Scarlet struggled to free herself, Phantom slapped a hand over her mouth. As she looked into his stare, she could see the burning rage that flowed through his eyes. "True, it was foolish of me to let you escape. But you are even more foolish. Not only did you reject my teachings, you've forgotten the one thing that matters in your life. You belong with me… No, you belong to me, Scarlet." As Scarlet was about to send a flying kick to the back of his skull, Phantom pulled her arm taut. Scarlet jolted and froze for less than a split second, but that was all the time that Phantom needed. His remaining hand tensed in a flat, open position. Moving at inhuman speeds, he struck Scarlet's arms and legs, landing a series of jabs all over them. When he was finished, Phantom tossed Scarlet back, and her body slid across the ground. "Hah, was that all? I hardly felt a thing!" Scarlet jeered, lying on the ground. And it was true. Phantom's hits hadn't hurt at all, Phantom also seemed aware of this, but he responded with a wicked sneer. "…But that's the point." Scarlet narrowed her eyes, standing up. "And just what do you mean by- whoa!" Suddenly, her knees buckled underneath her. Scarlet fell to her knees, and her face hit the ground shortly thereafter. "What… the hell… did you do to me?" Phantom walked up to Scarlet's still body, grabbing her and pulling her up by her hair. Scarlet winced in pain as the pain shot through her scalp. "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head over such trivialities," Phantom hissed. "It's only temporary. After all, you're so very precious to me, Scarlet. And we're so alike." His eyes shot open wide, pupils now ringed with silver. Scarlet's eyes widened as well, in surprise. However, what caused her shock wasn't Phantom's silver eyes. In fact, it had nothing to do with the creepy assailant at all. Scarlet's gaze pointed at a purple haired girl in the distance, approaching closer to the two of them with every step. Phantom caught sight of Scarlet's reaction, and he followed her eyes to find Twilight Sparkle. She hadn't noticed anything unusual yet, as Phantom's body blocked most of Scarlet from her vision, and as she was still too far to see anything with normal sight. Phantom tossed Scarlet back down, her chin bruising as it hit the stone underneath. "Is that your new friend, Celestia's protégé? Her name was Twilight Sparkle, if I recall correctly. Hmm, I suppose I could just kill her now, but I wouldn't want Celestia to be able to track me… not yet, at least. It seems that it's time for me to get going," Phantom said, turning around. "We'll be in touch." Phantom's words didn't register to Scarlet. There was only one thing going through her mind. The opponent's back is turned. His guard is down. Kill him. Drawing up what remaining scraps of strength she had left, Scarlet gnarled her fangs. Her right hand sprouted lethal claws once more, and her eyes burned with rage. She had been humiliated. Defeated. Worse than that, she had been toyed with. Nobody toyed with her. Ever. Her blood started racing. Her heart started pounding. Sharp claws slowly extended from the tips of her fingers. She hadn't felt like this in forever, filled with passionate desire to fight. To hate. To kill. Scarlet tensed, rejecting the paralysis in her legs through sheer force and anger. Scarlet bore her fangs, and focused her eyes on the back of Phantom's head. Her legs and feet rippled, their muscles growing taut with pressure. Scarlet sprang forward. In a flash, she was at Phantom's neck, paying no regard to the numbness in her limbs. Instead, she pivoted her entire torso in a swerve of force, tensing the muscles in her arm as much as she could. Her clawed hand spearheaded the blow, piercing clean through Phantom's head and out the other end. Scarlet's arm was drenched in blood. Phantom lay still, silent. It was over. He was dead. Who was this guy, anyways? Scarlet thought, relaxing. Whatever. It's not like it matters anymo- "Very good, Scarlet." Phantom's voice spoke from the punctured head. "You've always had the hatred deep inside you, and now you've finally used it to fuel your strength. We're so much alike in that aspect, me and you." "How are you still speaking?! I killed you!" Scarlet shouted in desperation. The rush she'd felt before had disappeared, and now she'd lost the element of surprise as well. What little advantage she'd held was gone. If Phantom decided to attack again, she would be left completely at his mercy. "Do you really think that you killed me with that? Look again," Phantom taunted, still with Scarlet's arm punctured through his head. Scarlet's eyes drifted to where she'd pierced Phantom's skull. Her arm was still drenched in blood, but there were other things littering her forelimb. Small, shattered, sparkling bits of… glass? Scarlet winced in pain, as the truth finally registered through her anesthetized nerves. The blood was her own. The hundreds of pieces of glass shrapnel had cut open wounds all over her arm, and made blood run down its length. If the blood was her own, however, then what had happened to Phantom? Scarlet took a closer inspection at the man's head. Her arm seemed to have gone right through it, but there was no signs of a wound, not even the slightest tear where her hand pierced the scalp. Scarlet waved her remaining hand through the back of Phantom's head, where the illusion finally flickered, fuzzed, and died out. As the magic dissipated, Phantom's cloak and clothes fell down lifelessly in a crumpled heap on the ground. What was left of him was nothing more than a broken crystal ball wrapped around Scarlet's upper arm, with a red mist swirling out of it. It was just like the one they'd seen and destroyed in the castle ruins where they'd fought the deathgoyle. The red mist finished spilling out into the air and fading, but not before it delivered one final message. "Patience, Scarlet. Patience," it whispered, the sound of the voice fading away like a ghost. Twilight finally arrived to the scene, noticing all too late what state Scarlet was in. "Oh my gosh, Scarlet, what happened to you? Why is your arm so…!" Not finishing the sentence, Twilight rushed up to her friend. Scarlet slid the remaining pieces of the glass orb from her arm, picking out the larger pieces of shrapnel with her claws. Twilight's magic helped with the rest. Growing dizzy from the blood loss, she muttered, "That son of a bitch…" before falling unconscious in Twilight's arms for the second time in two days. "…Do you want to talk about it?" Celestia asked. "I said, no!" Scarlet shouted angrily, waving a hand wrapped in bandages at the princess. She stormed off to a corner and crouched down; A permanent, dark scowl was etched onto her features. Celestia looked inquisitively at Twilight, hoping for some answers. Twilight gave a clueless shrug. "I have no clue, princess. I just found her like this two days ago, with glass embedded all over her arm, and then she collapsed on me. I… think she may also be in a bad mood." She could have sworn that the corner Scarlet slumped in just turned a shade darker than the rest of the room. "Well, nonetheless, that doesn't change the fact that I have a new mission for the two of you. Scarlet will heal up quickly enough." Celestia dismissed the previous topic, addressing Scarlet and Twilight together. "I've made arrangements for the two of you to travel to your next destination, and I've prepared a few gifts, as well." "Wait, the two of us? What about Spike?" Twilight asked. "Spike will be helping me and the guard back in Canterlot," Celestia answered. "While you and he share an education about the creatures of Tartarus from Scarlet, he's been proven to be more… vulnerable in the field, as previous events have shown. I do not think it would be wise for Spike to continue accompanying you and Scarlet on these missions to hunt dangerous creatures." Twilight looked around worriedly. "Um, about that, Princess Celestia, I… don't know if I can go through with this. At the beginning, it sounded simple in the beginning, but actually experiencing it, seeing my friends get hurt… well, it's all just too overwhelming." She looked despondently at her feet. "I'm sorry, princess. But it's just too difficult." Celestia showed no signs of anger, but instead spoke with a gentle tone. "Twilight, nothing in the world is ever easy. Nothing that truly matters, at least. I know what I'm asking you to do is difficult, and I know that it's dangerous. That's why I'm entrusting you to Scarlet, who can make sure that you do not come to harm. She's someone who's gone through her fair share of struggles, even at a young age… believe me, I know. She can handle herself. And she can protect you and your friends as well, but only if you give her that chance. Equestria needs you now, Twilight. I need you. So please, won't you reconsider?" Twilight looked up hesitantly, being met with Celestia's warm, motherly smile. Her insecurities seemed to vanish. How could she have been so selfish? If she didn't help Scarlet do this, then there would be serious repercussions. She was one of the most talented magic user of her age, save for the princesses themselves. Princess Celestia would be hard pressed to find someone else suitable enough for the job. "All right, if you really think I can do it… then, I, I won't let you down, princess!" Twilight hastily resolved. "Thank you for changing your mind, Twilight. You have no idea how much it means to me. And since you've decided to go, here," Celestia said, handing Twilight a small, purple pendant on a silver chain and an ornate, wooden bow. "Do you know what they are?" Twilight traced the items with thoughtful fingers and eyes. "They feel like… magic amplifiers? Oh, the bow strengthens my arrows, while the pendant fine tunes my magic in general!" she exclaimed with glee. "These must have cost a fortune! Are you sure you want me to have them?" "Take them with you, Twilight. They will keep you safe throughout your travels," Celestia said lovingly, as Twilight brandished her new bow and pendant. "Wow, you mean it?" Twilight asked in bewilderment. "Thank you so much! I'll be sure to make you proud," she said confidently, giving a salute and walking out the doors with a smile. Scarlet waited until Twilight was out of earshot. "Well, if that wasn't a complete load of crap, then I don't know what is," she said with a sneer. "A magic amplifier and a bow will keep her safe? Hah! I hope you didn't mean that. There's no safety to be found in a weapon. A weapon doesn't bring forth life, it spreads death. It saves nothing without slaying others. What's your game here, Celly?" Celestia turned around, facing Scarlet with tired eyes. "There's certainly no fooling you, is there?" She asked, sighing softly. "You're right. Those were not gifts. They were responsibilities, burdens too heavy for me or you to carry by ourselves. And I can only hope that one day, Twilight will be able to forgive me." "Burdens too heavy for us to carry alone, huh?" Scarlet muttered to herself. "You may pretend to think otherwise now, but deep inside, you know it to be true." Celestia's tone grew concerned. "But do not think in any way that this means I want to put two people whom I consider dear to me in harm's way. I am simply left with no other choice. I don't want to do this, to entrust you with her, to entrust the both of you with the safety of Equestrian citizens, or to put anyone else other than myself in danger, but sacrifices must be made. Equestria's forces haven't witnessed action in decades. Any troops I send would not be combat ready, and I would be sending soldiers to their deaths. As for myself, Luna, and Discord, the monsters know and hide from us. This is my final option. Scarlet, I need you to do this. Equestria needs you to do this. Are you still willing to work for me?" Scarlet shot a signature smirk at the princess, flipping her brown locks to the side. "Save the speech, Celestia. You're not winning me over with that silver tongue of yours. But… I guess I've got nothing better to do, so you have yourself a mercenary." Celestia gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I may not know much about you, but I can see that you consider Twilight a friend, and that you wouldn't want to see her get hurt, either. You've put my mind somewhat at ease, Scarlet." "Wait. What exactly more do you need from me, other than what I've already been doing?" Scarlet asked, standing up and walking to Celestia. "I need you to keep Twilight safe, no matter the cost. She is the one person that I cannot afford to lose. Find the creatures from Tartarus. Throw yourself into every mysterious cavern, every magical ruin, every abandoned warehouse where rumours circulate. And when the time comes, I need you to be prepared to fight. Be prepared to kill. Be prepared to run. And above all else, be prepared to throw your life away at a moment's notice should the need arise." Scarlet paused to take in Celestia's words before calmly replying with a question of her own. "So, then. Business as usual?" she asked, holding out her palm towards the princess. Princess Celestia smiled softly, handing Scarlet her weapon. "Business as usual."