Pony Detective

by DetMan


Ch. 3: Equestria

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Ashley:

I was sitting in that closet for a good half hour, passing the time by examining the clothes that were hung on clothes hangers and folded on shelves below them. Each and everyone of them were labeled by month, and every single one of them were old fashioned. Polka dotted dresses, overalls, striped suits, and more. They looked like they belonged in the 1900’s, but they were oddly shaped. They looked like they could fit me, in this pony body, with the sleeves positioned towards the ground, and the suits were lacking pants.

The silence and soft mutterings from outside were broken, when I started to hear foo- er, hoofsteps coming towards my room. Soon, I heard a voice coming from that direction, presumably from the pony walking over.

“Bathroom... wow this hallway is long!”

I didn’t recognize the voice, it wasn’t the manly voice that yelled out something about a TARDIS either. Is this what this place is called? What does it mean?

The pony or whatever lady walked off, further down the hallway. I sigh in relief, and stand up on all fours. Time to see if I can’t get out of here. I lean onto the door, pushing on it. It doesn’t budge, and I realise that on the inside, I have to pull. Time wasted, I grip the door knob with my teeth, turn it, and pull it inward slightly. I look out the crack in the doorway, checking the right side of the hall. No one. I pull it open a bit more, and look down the hall the pony lady walked down. No sign of her. I smile and walk out into the hallway, and turn to the exit. Before I could get going, though, I bump into something, and am met with a green tie.

“What’re you doing here?” I back up to see the brown pony in full view. Crap.

“U-uh, um, I got lost?”

The pony in a green tie just looks at me with unbelieving eyes. This isn’t going to end well...

“Doctor? Who’s that?”

The grey pegasus pony walks down the hall, from where the main chamber was. She has a frown on her face, and her left eye seems to be drifting a bit. This time, it isn’t funny, but terrifying. What were they going to do to me?

“We have a stowaway in our closets, Ditzy. Who are you?”

“Uh, i’m Ashley.”

“Well, Ashley, I don’t think you want to stay here. Things are going to get a bit interesting in about...” The pony labeled by who apparently is called Ditzy as ‘Doctor’ reaches for the watch in his weird butt pocket and looks at the gold watch. “Five minutes, twenty three seconds.” And with that, he puts it back in the pocket.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Nothing you need to worry about, miss, come on.”

“Ashley?”

A third voice comes out from behind me, and I turn to see a white pony with a horn on her head. A unicorn. She’s wearing a small tan overcoat and a similarly colored hat on her head, with a hole at the top to allow room for her horn, and covering her very bright brown hair.

I say, “Do I know you?” though when looking at the pony’s clothing, something tells me I have seen her before.

“It’s me, Nolan. I came by your house a few days ago?”

I squint my eyes at the pony. “...You’re that detective? But... you’re a girl!”

‘Nolan’ looks down, cringing. I realise that this may be a touchy subject, and change it. “How’d you get here...?

Nolan(?) looks back up at me. “I’m trying to get information, it’s my job.”

I say “Don’t you think that recent events are a bit more important than detective work?”

“What I’m doing is important. Believe it or not, it involves the end of both ours and these pony creature’s worlds. I think I can try and stop it.”

I blink. This lady is nuts. Or guy. I don’t know, this is hurting my oversized head.

The guy labeled as Doctor reaches for his watch for the second time in the last few minutes. “We can explain later, or maybe not, but right now we don’t have a lot of time to talk. In about one minute, three seconds, the Cloud horde will be here to try and stop us. We have no choice but to set course to Equestria.”

I exclaim, “Whoa, what? Cloud? E-Equestria? What’s going on here, Nolan?”

Nolan says “Just... yeah just call me Mystery or something similar like Misty. It gets weird calling me that. Like Time Turner said, we don’t have much time. Looks like you’re stuck with us for a while.”

He kind of just insulted my whole sex, but right then I didn’t care. Something was going to happen, and I felt too scared to start an argument over it. I follow the three ponies over to the main chamber, and soon the place began to shake.

Time Turner says, “Oh no, they are already here! Thirty seconds early, this isn’t supposed to happen...” he continues to think out loud as he begins to press, turn, and pull various controls on the main computer in the center of the room, with the cylinder in the complete center. It begins to glow a bright green, and a loud ‘vrrrwoorp’ fills the room, reminding me of an extremely old and broken down car refusing to start up.

The whole room shakes violently, and soon enough I lose balance and fall onto the floor, onto my side. I close my eyes tight as I hear a loud, surreal screeching kind of sound, and I start to feel sick to my stomach. What. Is. Going. On?!

The whole room stops shaking soon after that thought. I open my eyes once again to see everyone on the floor, the room in complete silence. I get back up on my hooves and take a look around. Everything seems just as it was before.

The Doctor gets up, and heads over to a monitor on the central computer. Ditzy is laughing her head off, for some reason, and Nolan/Misty (ugh) gets back up as well after everyone else, adjusting his/her hat. “Where are we?”

The Doctor looks at the image on the screen, and smiles. “Well, we have some good news at least. We’re in Equestria now.”

I walk over next to the Doctor and look at the image. It’s completely in black and white, but just looking at it makes me feel like I am watching a cartoon. Nolan trots up next to me, and Ditzy finally calms down after the ordeal. Nolan speaks up. “Where in Equestria?”

The Doctor squints at the screen, looking for landmarks. “Seems like we’re on the outskirts of the Everfree forest.”

“And that is?”

“It’s an enchanted forest that has some weird magic floating over it. We still don’t know what it is, even the clouds floating over it are acting weird, but turn back to normal after their fly over.”

The Doctor pushes a button on the monitor screen with his hoof, and the screen goes blank. “Why don’t we go see the real thing instead of what’s on the computer screen?”
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Nolan/Mystery Glass:

Before we found Ashley in the closet, Time Turner told me mostly everything about Equestria, it’s equine inhabitants, and a bit on the situation.

“Dark Light has created his own magical minions called the Cloud, which are a dark representation of ponies. They are generally weak, but are strong in numbers. They travel in groups, and are quite chilling to look at. Right now, they don’t attack ponies that don’t meddle in their master’s plans, but we are, so they are looking for us.”

The Cloud sound like a creepy problem that’s in store for me, and these two as well, since they are helping me. I felt kinda bad, but they said they are used to this kind of stuff. How could you get used to the fact that something in the universe wants you dead, and relentlessly hunts you?

I’ve sampled a bit of Ditzy’s leftover muffins. It’s been three days, and my stomach has caught up with my head. I scarfed down about five muffins before I realised that nature was calling.

Great. Now I have to deal with this again.

Ditzy gave me directions to the ‘little mare’s room’ down the hallway where they keep the assortments of clothing from previous generations, so they fit in with the crowd in that timeline when they are visiting. Time travel. Like things couldn’t get any more complex in this world.

The buildup was excruciating, which just made my embarrassment worse. This is going to be hard to do. I heard some shuffling from one of the closets, but didn’t care as I was about to let the gates open right there if I didn’t keep moving. The bathroom didn’t have a toilet, instead it had this strange urinal in the floor. Didn’t they have these way in the east or something?

Details set aside, it was a situation that I would not be caught dead in public. I certainly thought it would be hard, but the floor urinal made it 100% easier than I thought.

I was heading back down the hall when I saw a familiar looking pony with Time Turner. Ashley. Things got a bit hectic in the end, and now she is stuck with me for a while. I’m no babysitter, but times like these are when you have to do things that life throws at you.

Throughout that teleportation through time and space, I was about to lose my muffins. Falling all over the place, and tumbling small appliances, and finally the huge bump at the end. I swallowed back down my lunch and check with everyone at the computer.

“Why don’t we go see the real thing instead of what’s on the computer screen?” Time Turner said.

The four of us went over to the door, and Time Turner pushes it open with his head. Me and Ashley squint our eyes at the bright sunlight as we all step outside. Ditzy takes in a large breath, and exhales. “Finally, fresh air. How do you humans live with all that smog?”

I look at Ditzy after my eyes adjust. Does she seem a little... two dimensional? I can’t really tell, but the colors everywhere seemed a lot more brighter than what I am used to. “We get used to it...” I say to her.

Ashley stares at the vibrant colors, and looking around all over. We are in a lightly forested area, and the only sign of civilization, really, is a tree house in the center of a small clearing. Every tree seems to be an apple tree, with apples growing out of each tree. Like I said, things look a lot more two dimensional, and pastel colored. This is really weird.

Ashley notices the tree house as well, and says, “Who’s is that? That tree house?”

Time Turner looks up at the house, and makes a panicked face. “Oh dear, not those three...”

Ditzy just pats him on the back with her hoof. “Aw, c’mon Doctor, they are just three little fillies.”

“Yes, yes, but that apple one scares me.”

“Hey!”

A girly voice echos from the tree house. “What’re ya’ll doin’ at our clubhouse?”

Three heads poke up at an open window. One with a couple shades brighter purple mane, with orange fur and wings, one with yellow fur, red mane and a rather large pink bow, and another with a brighter purple and pink mane with white fur and a horn sticking out of her head.

The filly with the pink bow in the center squints at Time Turner. “Aren't you that pony ah sold apples to long ago?” I recognize that accent as a somewhat southwestern accent, from America, perhaps.

Time Turner goes a bit wide eyed, and adjusts his tie with a hoof. “Ah, erm, nope! I think you’re thinking of someone else, little lady!”

The three heads disappear from the window sill, and Time Turner takes a breath of relief. Ashley looks back at the treehouse. “You’re scared of that little girl? Not so tough, are you?”

Time Turner says “She can be intimidating when forcing apples in your face in a bad situation, especially since her big sister was right there.”

“Who’re you two?”

There is that accented voice again. The pink bow filly was under my muzzle, and I hadn’t noticed her walk up to all of us. Even Time Turner, who jumped slightly from her sudden appearance.

I look down at her orange wide eyes, and say “Oh, uh, I’m... Mystery Glass, and this is my assistant... Maroon.” I looked at her mane and immediately came up with the most cheesiest name ever, on accident. I’m pretty sure she gave me a stink eye before I looked back at the filly, who now has both her friends behind her. The white coated unicorn says “You don’t look familiar, are you new to town?”

“Ah, well kinda. I’m working on a detective case righ-”

“Wait, wait, girls? Check the list. Did we have detective work on our list?”

The orange pegasus takes out a large scroll of paper, and it falls out in a long list, rolling across the ground up to my front hooves. “Think so, right here, number three hundred and fifty five.”

“Aww...” The pink bow filly looks a bit crestfallen.

I get a bit nervous, these fillies are really organized for being so young. Ditzy walks up to me, and whispers into my ear, “They made a group called the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They are really desperate to get their cutie marks.”

“Really?” I say back to her.

“Hey, lady, if you're new in town, we could give you a tour!” The orange pegasus says, in a raspy voice. She probably yells a lot, which caused her to have a slightly altered set of vocal chords.

I fake a smile. “Oh, no thanks, I think I can find my way around, i’ve got Time Turner here to he-”

The pink bow filly yells out “Ah-HA! You are that pony ah sold apples to! Did you like them? Hm?”

Time Turner yelps a bit, and runs off. Ditzy yells out after him, “Doctor! Come back!” and runs after him. I sigh. So much for that then. The white fur unicorn says, “So... change your mind about that tour?”

I roll my eyes, and accidentally make a smile on my face. “Okay, okay. What are your names?”

“Ah’m Applebloom!”

“I’m Sweetie Belle!”

“And I’m Scootaloo!”

They all say in unison “And together we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

A tone louder and I think my ears would have started bleeding. I blink, and look at Ashley, who cupped her ears with her hooves, and is balancing with her chin on the ground. I poke her with a hoof, telling her it’s over, and look back at the three. “Okay, so where to?”

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“This here is m’ah home, Sweet Apple Acres! It’s a family ran business that sells apples and other crops to town, keepin’ them fed.” Applebloom says, and waving dramatically at the whole place. It sure seems like it’s acres long, with huge fields of apple trees, wheat, and others. I could see a rather burly looking red stallion plowing an empty field with a heavy looking hand plow. From my position, I could see his cutie mark, which seems like an apple from all the way over here, but green.

Applebloom noticed me staring down at that field, and squints up at me. “Hey, miss, you gawking at mah brother down there?”

I step out of my trance and look down at Applebloom, registering what she said. My eyes turn pinpricks for a moment, and red decorates my cheeks. “Wha- Oh, no, no! Just admiring the fields!” Again, flustered. I’m not sure if I should even feel this. For some reason, I felt... ugh, okay let’s just avoid that topic.

Applebloom sheepishly grins at me. “Uh-huh!”

“Really!”

“Whatever you say, Mystery!”

I look at Ashley for help, but she just shrugs (or attempts to) and stifles a laugh. What a terrible child. We follow the three fillies as they giggle to themselves down the path towards their home. “We should introduce you to the Apple family, strangers.” Sweetie Belle says. Ashley finally breaks her silence and says, “Sure, i’d love to meet them!”

I whisper to Ashley. “Ashley, we can’t just go play the meet and greet game. We, or I, have things to do.”

She whispers back, “Then go, i’ll be taking a tour with these funny little ponies.”

“I can’t just leave you here...”

“Fine, if you’d like to stay, you’d better get used to slow days. Some people like to have social lives.”

I roll my eyes at her. She’s trouble, I keep thinking, but continue to follow along the ‘tour’. We come up to a decent looking farmhouse, and step inside. The place smelled of apple food, everywhere. The oven is cooking something apple related, apple juice on the counter, cider in the fridge, apples, apples, apples. I’m starting to feel like apples are a favorite here.

“Applebloom, your back early!”

An orange pony walks up from the hallway leading around the house. She has a blonde mane and tail, with a tan Stetson hat on her head. Her mane is styled and tied up with a band to make a rather long ‘pony tail’ and she has three red apples on both sides of her flank, her Cutie Mark.

She walks up to us. “Ah see you brought some friends. Howdy, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo.”

“Hi!” they say at the same time. Applebloom points to the larger, more ‘orange’ pony. “Mystery Glass, this is my older sister, Applejack. Applejack, these ponies are Mystery Glass and Maroon.”

“Howdy, strangers. Y’all new to town?” She tilts her stetson hat at me with her hoof.

I look at Applejack with interest. The research I did involved six ponies labeled as the Elements of Harmony. It looks like I just met one of the six, Applejack, or the element of Honesty. She can’t tell a lie, or at least lies very poorly.

“Uh, yes, we just arrived. Pleasure to meet you, miss Applejack.” I say, and nudge ‘Maroon’ with the joint in my arm I had no name for. “Ow, hey- oh yes! Nice to meet you!” she says. Applejack looks at her then back at me with interest. “That your little sister, or...?”

“She’s my assistant. I’m on a rather important investigation.”

“Oh, that so? Ah assume y’all are detectives?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Figured from the clothes you’re wearin’ there. Kinda old timey, don’t you think?”

I frown. “Who’re you, the fashion police?”

She laughs. “Naw, that would be Sweetie Belle’s sister, Rarity’s job. She’s the towns fashion designer. She’s really good at it, ah tell yah. Anyways, what’s a sleepy old town gotta do with your case?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. I can’t go into too much detail, but something is afoot here, and I need to get to the bottom of it.” I say to her, in a serious tone.

She stifles a giggle. “Lighten up, will yah? The hardboiled detective type doesn’t really suit you, missy. It’s kinda cute.”

I get a bit angry with Applejack. Maybe she is a bit too honest. I scrunch my face up in frustration, and say, “Hey! I’m not cute, i’m a detective!” Ashley just starts laughing, and the three fillies in the room join her. Applejack smiled down on them, and i’m just standing there fuming. This wouldn’t be happening if I was still a guy, I thought.

Everyone calms down, including me in the end. Applejack offered us apple pie, straight out of the oven. Ashley and I accept, and we awkwardly sat at the table the best we could and ate. It was the best damn apple pie I have ever tasted. While we ate, we heard hoofsteps outside the door, and in came the big red pony from the farm. I immediately became fully aware of how silly I looked, with my head stuffed into pie, and started worrying about how I looked. Then I noticed my thought process, and instantly regretted brushing back my locks of hair and sitting straight up, with crumbs still on my face.

Ashley noticed my odd behaviour, and so did I. Why am I worrying about this now, when I was fully aware of stuffing my face in just a few moments ago before he...

So this is what it’s going to be then. I’m attracted to stallions. Just brilliant. Now I am ever so changing mentally now. I think of a human guy, but just sit there with nothing happening. Yep, just stallions. Male horses. Horses. God dammit. My cheeks were blazing now, and I try to hide it by adjusting my hat subconsciously. No one noticed, except for Ashley, who kept quiet.

Applebloom points to the painfully attractive stallion and says, “Ah, Mystery, this is our soft spoken brother, Big Macintosh.” The big guy nods at me, and I feel a twinge in my stomach. At least that’s what I told myself. Applebloom continues, “Big Mac, do you want a slice of apple pie before you head back out?”

“Eeyup.” he says, his voice deep, but friendly. He takes a slice, places it in his mouth, then heads off towards whatever is in the hallway. He comes back, not finding what he wanted, and nods to me and Ashley one more time before he leaves out the front door. I suddenly feel instant relief, and sit back comfortably.

We eventually finish our pie, and apple juice that came after. Ashley and I get up and head for the door, saying thanks for everything. It was getting late, the sun was setting outside. Applejack says “You two got a place to stay? Y’all are welcome to stay the night here!”

I just look back at her and say, “It’s okay, is there an inn in town, or something?”
Applejack frowns. “Yes... there’s that bar ran by that odd mare in the town center, you could check there. You sure you don’t wanna stay?”

“Positive, I don’t want to be much of a burden to you, Applejack. Hope to see you soon.” I say, and head out the door with Ashley. Applebloom exclaims as we head out: “The Cutie Mark Crusaders will meet you in the morning to complete the tour!” along with the other two yelling out “Yeah!”

As we near the road leading to the town, Ashley says to me, “Why didn’t we stay there? I’m pretty sure the Apples have warmer beds than a bar in town.”

I say back to her, “Because, like what the Doctor said, the Cloud are looking for us, and ponies that are fighting Dark Light. If we stay there, the Cloud will come after us eventually, and not only will they hurt us, but the whole family. We should just keep to ourselves.” Ashley looks down for a moment, but nods. “I guess you’re right.” she says.

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The moon was in the sky by the time we reached town. It looked quiet, in the moonlight. We could see from the hill the town center, with a circular building dominating the center as the Town Hall. Ashley mutters something to herself, but the sounds of crickets and other nighttime bugs and animals muffle her voice, so I didn’t hear her.

We reached the town in a few minutes, and headed blindly in the direction we remembered where the Town Hall was. The roads were wide, and paved in dirt, and delicately grown bright green grass. There were barely any proper paved roads anywhere, which made sense, as they probably didn’t have cars here, but maybe carriages. Then again... would it be socially acceptable to be pulled around everywhere by other ponies? We’ll have to see in the morning.

We eventually found the correct place, one of the few buildings that still had candles lit inside. I push the door open, still unlocked, and let Ashley inside before me. She squints at me before heading inside first, which made me think I did something wrong. Inside, a plum colored pony with a darker shade of the same color mane is standing behind a counter. From looking at the signs, she sells various kinds of fruit beverages. Though the money prices are odd, as they are counted in ‘bits’. I guess it’s the money used here.

I say to the pony behind the counter, “Uh, hello? We were told we could go here for rooms to rent out?” My girly voice that I started to get used to echoed in the room, and I look around at the sparsely occupied tables and chairs. There were a couple ponies enjoying their own strange fruit drinks, but the place was otherwise empty.

The plum pony says, “Oh, hello. You don’t look familiar... anyway i’m Berry Punch, good to meet you. Yes, I do let ponies rent rooms upstairs. Interested?”

“That’s what I came here for, yes.”

“Okay, it’s ten bits a night. Twenty for two.”

“Erm...”

I realize that I don’t exactly have any of these ‘bits’. I really should have thought thi-

Inside my coat pocket, I notice a lump that’s been there for who knows how long. I reach back to my coat pocket with me teeth, and pull out a small dark blue purse, with gold lining the top to lock the opening in place. How did that get there?

I awkwardly look at Berry Punch, then at Ashley, who is looking at me funny once again. I open it up with the best of my ability with my hooves and inside... is a lot larger than I thought it would be. It’s filled with a decent amount of gold coins. I pull a poker face and reach in with my hooves subconsciously, actually grabbing them somehow with my hooves, and place twenty of the gold coins on the counter. “I think... that will do. Right?”

Berry Punch looks at me the same way Ashley is doing, which makes me a bit nervous. I really should never accept undercover cases. My poker face is trained, but not good enough to pull it off without people looking at me funny.

She brushes the coins into a jar under the counter, and nods with a smile, losing that suspicious look on her face. “Yes, it will. It’s just up the stairs, second door on the left.” I nod, and Ashley says, “Thank you, miss.” We walk towards the stairs, and head to the second door on the left. Inside was a cozy little room, with two fluffy beds in either corner, with a window in between them. Through it I can see the building next door, it’s lights currently out.

I take the bed on the right, and Ashley takes opposite. We barely said a word to each other before Ashley just blows out the lights, plops herself on the bed, and turns her back towards me, her wings twitching slightly.

This is going to be a long night.

* * *

I am awoken by the sound of many hooves clopping all over the place. Outside, downstairs in the main shop, everywhere. I find myself with my legs and arms tucked under my stomach, with my hat on the floor and my coat slightly off to the side of my body. I must have had a restless sleep, I thought as I fix my coat, and stand up from the bed onto the floor. I put on my hat, and realize that the room was one pony short. Ashley was gone.

I checked the whole room, even under the beds, and no sign of her. Not even a note left behind, no trace of her even being here. I adjust my hat to my horn, and head for the door. I rush downstairs, and trip over my hooves, surprising the owner and a dark blue pegasus stallion. I mumble the words “Sorry” and head for the door without saying goodbye or thank you to Berry Punch, and just rush outside, looking left and right for a maroon colored pegasus. No sign of her.

I ask some passer by's about if they saw a maroon colored pegasus, a little bit shorter than me, no cutie mark. They all either said, “No, I haven't, miss.” or along the lines of “I wish!” which startled me. Things could be worse. Then again, I don’t want things to get any more worse than what’s already happening.

“Heya Mystery Glass! Where’s your partner?” said a familiar, young voice. Applebloom.

“Applebloom! Oh thank... did you see A- Maroon anywhere? I woke up and she was missing from her bed!”

“I can’t say f’er sure. I’ve seen a bunch of ponies walking around, the crowd was thick with colors.”

I start to go into a bit of a panic. “You sure? Where are your friends? They could know!”

“Ah told them to meet up at the statue, but they never showed up.”

“Okay... come on let’s go look for them.” I say, and we both walk into a random direction, beginning the search.

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Ashley/Maroon:

Well, I can’t say this was the most interesting night of my life, but it certainly was the most uncomfortable. During the night when Nolan fell asleep, I got up and looked out the window. The only lights on now were just the bar and the light of the moon outside in the sky. It was really pretty, the colors were much more vibrant than back home.

All I could really see from where I was the building next door. No movement inside the window. I kept hearing Nolan snore over the night sounds that are muffled by the walls. Does he even know that he snores? It’s starting to get annoying. I decide that enough is enough, and I sneak out the back door of the bar, without the owner seeing. She was face first on the floor, passed out.

The night air was the most fresh I have ever smelt. No pollution, no smell of far off car smoke, just dirt and flora. Nice and quiet, just the way I like it.

And then the night was spoiled when I saw something horrifying. A pony was walking down the alley towards me, but it wasn’t a pony at all. Up close, it was shimmering in a black fog, with no facial features. The only thing on it’s face were two bright white eyes, staring at me. It tilted its head towards me, examining my whole body.

“Uh... hello?” I make the mistake of saying.

Once the words were out, it’s eyes shot a deep red, and it pounced at me. I yelped in surprise, and jump out of the way, my wings working overtime in an effort to keep balance. To my surprise, the creature disappeared, and what was left was just black smoke, which was flying into the air, and away.

And that is when I let my guard down.

I took a sigh of relief at the wrong time, and a huge cloud of black came swarming at me. I tried to scream, but the cloud of black was covering my mouth, muffling my voice. I struggled and struggled to get free, but the cloud of smoke was just growing tighter around me. I felt my body being lifted upwards, and sent out flying over the city at ridiculous speeds. The G-force and the grip on me was crushing my lungs, and soon I found myself passing out.

But that’s not all.

Before I passed out, I saw a sky blue bolt fly by me, and come back to crash into the cloud. I was released, freefalling, near blackout, and pretty much felt like dying there. The sky blue bolt of color came over me, and caught me in mid air. Just before I passed out, I saw powerful, blue wings attached to the back of a pony with every color of the rainbow in its hair.

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